Ledges: Online (chap. 4)
(Tyler Joseph x Reader)
A/N: hello again! This has been long awaited and long overdue and for that I apologize.
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“(Y/n) you don’t know that…” Emery sat on your bed leaning against the wall behind her, legs tucked under the quilt you had crocheted. You sat at your desk head down, arms crossed, leg bouncing.
“No I do- I do know that. Why the hell else would he answer her call?” You countered , turning around to face her in your chair. The morning sun peaked through your blinds , bathing the room in a buttery warmth, tinted with tones of peach and pink.
Emery shrugged trying desperately to come up with any answer that will make you feel better. But you knew she wouldn’t come up with one, because there is no good answer. Tyler still has feelings for his ‘ex’ girlfriend. He has to. Why else would he have answered her call? Why does he even still have her number? You saw her name clear as day. Brooke blinked across his phone screen right in front of your eyes.
“Usually when you have an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend you delete their number right? Isn’t that how people work? Isn’t that like an unspoken rule of the damn universe??”
Emery let out a small chuckle which was met with a glare from you that had no real malice but all the evidence of exhaustion.
She eyes you briefly with a sympathetic look.
“You should sleep, you've been up for twenty four hours”
Scoffing you turn back around letting your head drop back on the desk. Sleep. As if you could fall asleep at a time like this. A time when thousands of little fire ants were crawling across your skin making you so uncomfortable you could scream. So much is on your mind. You honestly have no reason to feel this way- and you keep warring with yourself about that fact.
You haven’t known Tyler for very long
You’re not his girlfriend nor do you have any prospect of being his girlfriend
He owes you no explanation about anything at all let alone a phone call from his ex.
So why do you feel this way? Why does this upset you so much?
“I always do this…” you sigh into the cold wood of your desk.
“I overestimate my place in people's lives. I know Tyler doesn’t have feelings for me but I thought- I don’t know what I thought… that maybe he could?” You sigh again now standing and pacing from one side of your room to the other. Emery watches you.
“I knew he-“ you didn’t finish your thought. Had you finished it you would have had to listen to the epic saga of self love from Emery and you just weren’t in the mood right now.
You knew that Tyler wouldn’t find you attractive. You knew it. You called it last night and you were right the instant he laid eyes on you it was toast. He’s this gorgeous, smart, kind , warm guy and you suck and your face sucks and your body sucks. It’s not rocket science. 1+1 will never equal 5 just because you fantasize that it does.
“Let’s sleep” Emery lifted the quilt urging you to join her in your bed. Every part of your mind argued , it didn’t want to lay down, it wanted to run a marathon. But your body ached for rest and begrudgingly you climbed in bed, rolling onto your side to face the window. Pulling the quilt up to your chin , you curled into a ball , closing your eyes against the pastel sunlight; and as if your body was just trying to prove Emery right - you fell asleep.
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Tyler stood in the kitchen waiting for his coffee to get done brewing, earlier in the morning it looked like it was going to be a bright sunny day but somewhere along the lines grey clouds had rolled in and now a light rain was falling. He didn’t mind, he liked the rain.
“Hey, you’re up early” Tyler turned to see his brother Zack step into the kitchen and walk to the refrigerator.
“Couldnt sleep” he replied as he poured the dark roast into his favorite mug, adding some cream and sugar before moving to the table and sitting down. He watched the rain dance down the window glass as he sipped his piping hot drink.
The bags under his eyes almost looked like bruises, his body was exhausted. After Brooke called, his night with you had ended soon after. He walked you back to your car and watched you drive away. You promised him you were glad to see him , glad he was there , glad he was ok but he felt horrible after Brooke ruined the night. If you weren’t mad before you must have been mad then.
First he ghosts you for weeks on end and now he interrupts his first time meeting you in person to chat with his undeserving ex?
“You look like shit”
Zack sat in the chair next to him with his own mug of coffee , the smell of hazelnut creamer filling the air between them. Tyler gave his brother a sideways glance then took a languid sip from his own mug.
Zack was waiting for some snarky response but didn't receive one; he turned his body slightly towards Tyler, a hint of concern creasing his thick dark brows.
“Hey, you ok?” His voice was soft now, no trace of his former cajoling in its tone. A sigh left Tyler’s lips as he dragged his hand over his face.
“Brooke called me last night.” was all he said. Which was enough to make Zack physically cringe. He never liked Brooke, he thought she was selfish and was always trying to change his brother, to mold him into something he wasn't. She couldn't accept him for who he was and in Zack’s mind, that meant she didn't deserve him.
“What’d she want?” Zack’s biting tone was not lost on Tyler, who glanced at him knowingly but didn't comment on it.
“She heard I dropped out. I guess Nick told her.” The words tumbled from Tyler's mouth like wine from a bottle.
Zack reared back like tyler had just slapped him “nick told her?” he questioned, his movement caused his chair to scrape against the linoleum of the kitchen floor.
“What’s Nick doing talking to your ex?” he added with disbelief, shaking his head. Tyler was quite a dichotomy to his brother at this moment. He was still, calm, and quiet. Zack’s anger and betrayal for his brother rolled off him like rippling waves of magma before they crest over the lip of a volcano. He could understand it though, Nick was Tyler’s bandmate, he was supposed to be his friend. He thought he could confide in him, once again people and human nature let him down and proved him wrong. Nick was always enamored with Brooke, for what reason, God only knows. Apparently Tyler's hardships were a perfect ice breaker for the two. Tyler scoffed. If Nick thinks Brooke has any interest in him he's dead in the water.
“What are you gonna do?” Zack asked, pulling Tyler from his own thoughts.
“Haven’t gotten that far yet” Tyler replied, his voice was absent of its usual limpid tone, its usual hint of buoyancy. It was flat, and depleted. The sound of the morning doves and Robins sending out their songs echoed against the walls of the room. The window above the kitchen sink was always open, their mom liked it that way. During the colder months it turned the kitchen into a freezer though. Right now, in early autumn, it is a pleasant chill. A cold that kissed the skin but didn't quite scratch its way down to the bones. With his steaming mug in hand , and his hoodie from last night still on , the temperature didn’t bother him.
What is he going to do?
Ride it out? See what happens? Confront Nick? Or worse, confront Brooke?
He didn’t feel comfortable talking to anyone about it just yet, he’d wait a while and let the dust settle. Give himself time to gather his thoughts. On the phone last night Brooke had been very supportive and reassuring about his dropping out. Which was surprising considering she was very hyperfixated on Tyler making a success of himself.
She never had any faith that the success would come from his music and the fact that he still wasn’t a success in that department either only poured salt in the wound.
“Hey…” Zack spoke , Tyler had forgotten he was even there.
“Hm”
A warm hand patted his shoulder gently and his brother's words came softly, coated in sincerity and concern.
“Get some sleep, you can deal with everything else after”
——————— (to be continued)———————
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