The Curse of Laughter - Chapter 2
Chapter Characters: Lee!Yuji, Lee!Panda(briefly), Ler!Gojo, Ler!Geto Lers!CursedCorpses, Ieiri Shoko, Masamichi Yaga, Riko Amanai, Yuu Haibara, Kento Nanami, Ijichi Kiyotaka, Nobara Kugisaki, Megumi Fushiguro, Yuta Okkotsu, Maki Zenin, Toge Inumaki Chapter Description: The teachers meet to discuss the events of the previous day, and Gojo and Geto are advised to help prepare the students for this new threat. Chapter Word Count: 3859
Everyone in the room fell silent as Ijichi finished explaining what happened, and Riko was the first to speak up. “Did Satoru put you up to this? You're kidding right?” She asked, playing with her braid idly.
“I-I assure you, it really happened.” Ijichi frowned, his face red as he kept his head down. A thoroughly traumatized look on the anxious assistants face.
“Riko, when have we ever known Ijichi to play jokes on us?” Satoru rolled his eyes fondly at his friend, a lazy grin on his face.
“He wouldn't on his own… but if put up to it maybe.” She mumbled, her eyes narrowed and her tone rightfully suspicious.
“A curse like that can't exist can it…? Maybe it was an illusion.” Haibara mused, leaning back next to Nanami.
“An illusion that Satoru also saw?” Shoko challenged, taking a drink of her coffee. “Not possible… besides, we’ve seen a lot of crazy things… Is this really that bizarre?”
“I mean… not really, but I thought curses were created by negative emotions. How could something so innocent be negative?” Haibara retorted, making Riko and even Nanami nod in agreement.
“As much as I personally dislike the childish game, he does have a point. Most people typically feel positive about it.” Nanami agreed begrudgingly, causing his golden retriever best friend to narrow his eyes at him. Definitely a black cat + golden retriever combo.
“No you do--” Before Haibara could snitch on Nanami as is his gods given right as his… best friend. Yeah sure, that… He received a covert elbow to the ribs. Nanami saw it coming a mile away. He knew Haibara well enough by now to know he was too pure to let him fib… because bestie he was totally fibbing.
“I don't know, I felt pretty negative about the experience…” Ijichi responded sheepishly, slowly sitting back down.
Nanami looked over at Yaga, who seemed to be lost in thought. “Is it really plausible? Could someone feel negative enough about that to create a curse? Or is it just a regular demented curse who likes to see suffering?”
Yaga sighed, taking his sunglasses off to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Unfortunately, yes. It is plausible. It's quite uncommon to run into them, but tickling curses exist.”
He could already feel a headache coming on… he just knew Satoru was about to be a menace about the whole thing. He also had wished to never encounter a tickling curse again after the last time. Now he was faced with one of his many nightmares.
“Whaaaa?? How come we never run into any of the fun curses??” Riko pouted, Haibara nodded in agreement. Sweet chaotic beans, both of them.
“Fun isn't the word I'd use to describe a curse like this.” Nanami mumbled, then looked back at Yaga. “So you've seen them before?”
“Yes.” Yaga mumbled, his eyes closed in thought. “Unfortunately. Make no mistake, these curses aren’t sunshine and rainbows. They usually leave behind corpses, they quite literally tickle their victims to death.”
The room went silent as they processed his words.
“But this one… there's been no deaths linked to it.” Shoko frowned, looking at Yaga.
“Correct. They're also typically not as intelligent as this one. They normally behave like children because they're created by children.” Yaga explained, opening his eyes. “You know how some kids accidentally create the monster in their closet with their fear? Well the same can be said for tickle monsters…”
“It's only been targeting lower ranks… why?” Suguru asked, tucking his hair behind his ear.
“They feed on laughter, it makes them stronger… I presume if this one is intelligent enough, it's preying on lower levels and slowly strengthening itself…”
“Well, sounds like you guys are gonna have a fun time~” Gojo teased. “Guess we're safe then, eh Suguru?”
“Yeah but it'll eventually become our problem if it gets strong enough.” Suguru rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to the others. “I don't like the idea of this thing. It's learning.”
Satoru leaned back casually in his chair, crossing one leg over the other, his body angled towards Suguru as it always was. “Well then I suppose this curse is only really a problem if you're ticklish~”
“Not… necessarily.” Yaga grumbled begrudgingly, crossing his arms. “Some of these curses can make their victim sensitive using a neurotoxin-like substance, or more sensitive in some cases…”
“Speak from experience, old man?” Satoru asked teasingly, causing him to narrow his eyes at him. “Ooo, I’m right, aren’t I? Did you get destroyed by one of these before?”
“Satoru, He’s going to punch you.” Riko warned, seeing the way he closed his eyes and took a deep breath to refrain from retaliating.
“Yeah, and I’m not healing your ass.” Shoko added, smirking in mild amusement at the offended look on Satoru’s face.
“What? It’s an honest question!” He insisted, pouting innocently at them. Suguru sighed in exasperation at his antics.
“Satoru, enough. This is serious.” Yaga huffed, opening his eyes again and looking a bit calmer. Meditation can help when dealing with Satoru, but nothing will completely eliminate the headache. Except maybe some alcohol -- which Yaga could not drink right now. So Migraine it is.
Ijichi was lost in thought during the exchange, then ended up blurting out. “A neurotoxin…? That explains why it was so intense…”
“That or you're just more ticklish than you remember.” Riko grinned teasingly at him, making his face flush again.
“I took a blood sample, it came back negative for the obvious things… but I'm still waiting for the complete panel to finish running.” Shoko interjected.
“It likely won't show anything, the neurotoxins are rare, so they aren't in our database. Besides, It probably wore off by the time Ijichi got to you.” Yaga shrugged.
“We have a database for that stuff?” Haibara asked, his eyes full of innocent wonder as he tilted his head. Shoko nodded.
“Ooo, we should test to see if the neurotoxins actually wore off~” Satoru grinned mischievously, slowly sitting upright and wiggling his fingers at Ijichi.
Ijichi yelped and hid behind Yaga nervously.
“Knock it off, brat.” Yaga scolded the white haired teacher, Suguru grabbed a hold of his jacket casually, knowing their former sensei's warning wouldn't deter him.
The way he yoinked Satoru’s jacket without hesitation tells you how often this occurs with them.
Gojo pouted, slouching in his seat again with Geto holding onto his jacket like a dog on a leash. “You're no fun.”
“So, what's our plan?” Geto asked, watching them intently.
Yaga sighed as Ijichi slowly came back out from behind him sheepishly. “I’m not sure… I suppose standard precautions for now.” he mumbled, leaning back. “If you go on missions, make sure you're in groups of two. Don't give the curse the chance to get you alone. Keep your guard up. I'll keep reading through the reports to try to narrow down its hideout location.”
The others nodded.
“Don't freak out the students… but at the same time, make sure they're prepared. We're going to have to undergo some endurance training to prepare for this curse…” Yaga sighed in resignation, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
“This is gonna be a fun conversation~” Gojo grinned, then yelped when Suguru tweaked his side.
“He just said don't scare them, Satoru.” Geto chastised, standing up and dragging the mischievous teacher out of the meeting room.
-
“WHAT?!?” Yuji exclaimed in disbelief, his eyes wide at the news.
Panda was laughing uncontrollably. “No way, there's no such thing as a tickle monster! That's just a game parents play with their kids… my dad played that game all the time when I was little!”
“Salmon.” Inumaki nodded, agreeing with Panda.
“Yeah, what kind of trick are you trying to play?” Maki narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Gojo.
“No tricks, I saw it with my own eyes.” Gojo held his hands up defensively, a playful grin on his face.
“You're not exactly the most reliable source.” Megumi mumbled.
“You wound me… I would never lie!”
Suguru rolled his eyes, pushing off of the wall he had been leaning against. “It's true. He's not playing tricks. They're very uncommon, but tickle curses exist. They're often created by kids who were traumatized by the tickle monster game.”
“What kind of kid is afraid of that goofy game?” Panda snorted in amusement.
“Y-You’d be surprised… some people will take that game pretty far…” Yuta mumbled, giving Satoru a side-eye to which he chuckled.
“O…Kay… well I'd rather get tickled than torn limb from limb.” Yuji mumbled, his gaze shifting around the room curiously. “So what's the problem?”
“The problem is that these curses have a tendency of tickling its victims to death.” Suguru explained.
Yuji noticed most of his classmates seemed pretty unsettled by that, it seems the reality was beginning to set in for them. The only exceptions being Inumaki and Panda.
“I'm not worried.” Panda shrugged. “It'd be impossible to kill me with laughter, the only way of doing so would be to destroy my core. Even then, dad can always fix me I'm sure.”
“Which is precisely why you're banned from missions until we catch this curse.” Suguru stated.
“What??? But I just--”
“An infinite source of laughter for this curse is like unleashing Gojo on an all you can eat mochi buffet.” Suguru explained calmly, Satoru snorted at the comparison. Honestly, same Gojo same. I too am a whore for mochi. “It becomes stronger the more laughter and cursed energy it consumes.”
“But just because it can't kill me doesn't mean I'd get careless and get myself caught.” Panda pouted.
Satoru shook his head, a small amused smirk on his face. “Sorry, buddy. Order comes from your old man, take your complaints to him.”
In the next instant Panda was sulking on the floor, Inumaki at his side gently patting his head in a comforting manner like the sweet little bean he is. “That's totally unfair… he never lets me have any fun.”
“Mustard leaf…”
“You guys will need to stay in groups of two. It isolates you then preys on you.” Satoru explained, his blue eyes scanning the students. “The most ticklish out of you should team up with Inumaki, his cursed speech should stop the curse from attacking.”
“So how do we know which of us is the most ticklish?” Nobara asked curiously.
Satoru grinned widely, Yuta’s eyes widened in horror. He's seen that grin many times.
“Nononono! No way!” He yelped, backing away quickly.
“We'll have to tickle all of you to determine the pairings~” Satoru grinned evilly, looking dead at Yuta.
“Except Yuta.” Suguru interjected, gently pushing Satoru aside. “He has Rika, so he'll constantly have backup.”
Yuta let out a breath of relief, calming down a bit. “Thank God…”
“Yeah, the only tickling you'll need is for the endurance training you'll all need to undergo~” Gojo grinned again.
Yuta squeaked, hiding behind Inumaki. “No way!”
“Sorry Yuta… it's not optional.” Suguru smiled sympathetically. “If it makes you feel better… we ALL have to go through it. Including Gojo.”
“That'll be a piece of cake, I have infinity.” Gojo rolled his eyes in amusement.
“We'll see about that one…” Suguru mumbled ominously.
“U-Um… so when exactly is this sorting starting?” Yuta asked timidly, remaining behind the blond.
“Right now,” Gojo chuckled, stepping forward. “Who wants to go first~?”
After a brief pause, Itadori strolled over casually. “I'll go first. It's not like I've never been tickled before.” He shrugged.
“You sure? This is gonna be very different. It's gonna be cruel.” Suguru warned lightly.
“Have you ever been tickled by Gojo before?” Yuji grinned in amusement. “He's as vicious as they come!”
“The kid has a point.” Satoru chuckled, suddenly latching onto the pinkette and squeezing at his sides. “C'mere you!”
“Jeez! At least wait for me to move out of the way!” Suguru complained as he narrowly dodged a flailing limb from the now laughing and squealing Yuji.
Satoru pinned Yuji down, his fingers wiggling mercilessly along any patch of skin he could find. “I got a bone to pick with him anyway for the last time he tried to tickle me!” He grinned.
“Ahahahahahah! It was wohohohorth it!” Yuji laughed.
Suguru crouched down and grabbed Yuji's wrists, then tied them together with bindings made out of cursed seals. “The curse was using bindings similar to this… makes it impossible to use your energy.” He explained, holding the pinkettes arms down while Satoru straddled his legs.
“Whahahahat?? I can't even use my power to ehehehescape?!” Yuji giggled nervously as Satoru prodded around his midsection.
“Correct. It's endurance training… you're meant to withstand it for as long as possible, not escape. All of us teachers are also going to undergo the same training, except ours will be worse.” Suguru smiled at the sound of Yuji's frantic giggling. “We decided not to use tools on you right away.”
“Lame!” Satoru complained, pushing Yuji's shirt up and dipping down to blow a raspberry against his belly, causing the boy to shriek. “You all can handle a few little feathers, right~?” He grinned at the collective shudders he received.
“BAHAHAHAHAHA! STAHAHAP WITH THE RASPBERRIES!!” Yuji cackled as another mean raspberry was smothered into his belly.
“Are you new to tickle monsters?? NEVER tell them what not to do, they'll do it more!” Satoru laughed, emphasizing his point by unleashing a string of raspberries on the poor boy. “Especially when they have cute ticklish tummies like yours~!”
“GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! PLEHEHEHEHEASE!! NOHOHO!” Yuji cackled, wriggling around helplessly.
“Gojo, ease up on the raspberries. This curse was methodical. Slowly working its way up in intensity.” Suguru chastised lightly, causing Satoru to sigh and lean up.
“Alright alright… take a few to catch your breath, we'll start again.” Satoru gently rubbed his tummy to ease the after tickles.
Yuji sagged, breathing heavily as he slowly recomposed himself.
“I can't wait to get my hands on Nanami… I've been dying to tickle him for a while~” Satoru grinned at Suguru.
“Nanami isn't gonna let you do his training. Neither is Yaga.” Suguru smirked at the whine Satoru let out in response to that.
“Why not??” he pouted.
“Because you'd enjoy it too much.” Suguru laughed, leaning in a bit closer to talk to Satoru.
“Obviously! You know how long I've wanted to get revenge on the old man for all the tickling I got subjected to when we were students??” Satoru huffed, crossing his arms childishly.
“You wouldn't have gotten tickled so much if you'd have just listened to him.” The raven haired teacher teased. “Shoko rarely got tickled as punishment.”
“Oh yeah? Well if you're so Innocent why did you get tickled all the time too?” Satoru smirked, narrowing his eyes playfully at his best friend.
“Because you always got me in trouble.” Suguru retorted, grinning. “You still get me in…”
Suguru trailed off when he heard Yuji giggling, his purple eyes drifting down to the boy curiously. He smiled when he saw the reason he was giggling, his long hair was brushing against the boys neck. “Something funny, Itadori~?” He cooed, moving a bit to make his hair purposely dust across his neck.
Yuji squealed and giggled more, bringing his shoulder up to try to block his neck.
“Are you laughing at us?? The nerve!” Satoru gasped dramatically. “And here we were being nice and giving you a break!!”
Gojo began spidering his fingers along Yuji's lower stomach, slowly moving around in random patterns.
“Perhaps he's ready to keep going then?” Suguru smirked, holding his arms down with one hand and slowly spidering his fingers down his bicep towards his armpit with the other.
“H-Hey! Nohohoho! Not bohohoth of you at once!” Yuji whined, giggling uncontrollably. “The curse only hahahad two hands!!”
“That we know of~” Suguru teased, inching closer and closer to his armpit, then going back up his bicep just before reaching it.
“It also has nails… which I do not have.” Satoru grinned, scribbling his blunt nails along his stomach to prove his point.
“But I do~” Suguru cooed, his voice like silk as he dragged his index finger nail lightly and teasingly across his armpit once, causing the pinkette to squeal and erupt into another fit of giggles.
“Here, if it makes you feel better… I'll just use one hand.” Gojo chuckled. Unfortunately for Yuji, that one hand was just as evil and unyielding as its twin.
He latched onto one of the pinkettes hips, squeezing it mercilessly. The stark contrast between Gojo's merciless tickles and Geto's gentle teasy tickles was maddening.
Yuji exploded into a fit of laughter again, wriggling around trying to get away. “Thihihis is sooo unfahahahahair!!”
“Don't worry, if it makes you feel better, I'll let you watch when it's Gojo's turn.” Suguru teased, grinning at the offended gasp that came from the white haired teacher.
“Conspiring with the enemy?? Ohhh, you're so in for it when it's your turn!”
“Bold of you to assume I'm gonna let you tickle me.” Suguru grinned lazily at his husband bestie, who gasped again in offense.
“Oh no, I'm DEFINITELY tickling you. I'm the best tickler, so I'm the perfect fit for special grade training.” Gojo boasted, poking around at Yuji's ribs to keep him giggling.
“Wildly incorrect. I'm the best tickler, but I suppose I can't tickle myself so…” Suguru smirked, scribbling his black painted nails teasingly along Yuji's neck to draw out some high pitched giggles.
“Oh hell no, I'm the best tickler!” Gojo scoffed, attacking Yuji's belly with a claw like hand while tickling his side with his other hand. “Right, Yuji??”
“Nahahahahaha!! Nooooo, no clawwww!! Hahahahahahaha!” Yuji squealed, laughing hysterically.
Suguru smirked, switching to holding Yuji's arms down with his knee then lightly skating his nails along Yuji's ribs and armpits. “No way, I’m clearly the best.”
Yuji shrieked and arched his back as he cackled. “NAHAHAHA! OHOHO GOD! CAHAHAHAN YOU NAHAHAHAT DO THIS RIGHT NOHOHOW??”
Just like in any messy dispute between parents, it's always the children who suffer and get caught in the middle. Poor Yuji's protests and laughs were falling on deaf ears.
They kept going for a while, until they were both sent flying off of Yuji with startled yelps.
“Would you quit your stupid arguing.” Yaga huffed, kneeling down to help Yuji. He carefully untied the pinkettes wrists and helped him sit up. “Are you alright?”
Yuji nodded, breathless from his laughter and still giggling occasionally. “Y-Yeah… thanks sir.”
“And you two,” Yaga narrowed his eyes at the two teachers who looked like scolded children at the moment, both sitting on their knees listening to the lecture just like when they were students. “I recall telling you to prepare the students… not use them to determine who's the best.”
“Sorry sensei.” Geto apologized, bowing his head.
“He started it!” Gojo whined, pointing at his best friend.
“See? This is how you always get me in trouble with you.” Suguru shot an annoyed look at Satoru.
Ah yes, the duality of manchildren.
“I don't care who started it, you're both acting like damn kids… the students are being more mature than both of you.” Yaga lectured as he watched Satoru stick his tongue out at Suguru.
Megumi and Nobara both went over to Yuji's side, checking on their best friend and making sure he was okay.
“It's tickling, how do you expect us to be serious about it?” Gojo complained childishly, Geto winced. He really was making this worse for them…
“It's a curse unlike any other. It's still dangerous. This curse could easily disarm the students if they aren't prepared and cause harm to them. Is that what you want?” He asked, folding his arms.
Satoru's childish demeanor went away at that, the two teachers looking at each other in silent agreement. “No. You're right… I was too busy fixating on the fact that it just tickles people, I forgot for a minute how concerning it is…” He said seriously, looking back at Yaga.
The principal let out a small breath of relief that he seemed to get through to the two. “Good… thank you for taking this more seriously. Just because it's a playful attack, doesn't mean we shouldn't take it seriously.”
The two nodded in agreement.
Panda leaned against Yaga's back, slumping over so his head was on his shoulder. “Daaaaaad… how come I don't get to go on missions?” He complained, looking at him.
“I presume they already explained it to you. You'd be an infinite source of laughter for it.” Yaga explained calmly, reaching up to pat his head affectionately.
“Come onnnn I'll be real careful! I wanna help my friends!”
“Sorry, but the answer is no. You're too reckless with your own wellbeing if it means protecting others. An admirable trait, but annoying nonetheless.”
“Daaaad!! Pleeeeease??” Panda whined childishly, rubbing his face against Yaga's cheek and neck affectionately, like a cat acting sweet to get attention.
Yaga flinched, gently pushing at his plushie son. “Quit it, I already said no.”
Panda grinned, wrapping his arms around his dad as he continued to rub his fluffy face against him, this time more gently. “Come on… I'll be careful, I promise!”
Yaga jolted, trying to bring up his shoulder to block him with no success. “Dammit Panda, knock it off!”
“Why? Does it tickle? Maybe you shouldn't go on the missions then~” He grinned mischievously.
“Uhh, are you sure it's a good idea to be provoking your dad right now…?” Yuta asked, a note of concern in his eyes.
“Mustard Leaf…” Inumaki chimed in, having observed the subtle cues of Panda's impending doom.
“Oh please, it's fine. I'm not a little cub anymore. I can take him-- ACK--”
Panda found himself on the ground in the next instant, being tickle attacked by several small cursed corpse dolls. “Hehehehey! Thahahat’s cheating!!” he giggled uncontrollably, flailing around like a fish out of water.
“I warned you.” Yaga said lightly, rubbing his neck to soothe the area. “You'll help your friends more by staying here. Get yourself caught and that curse will become a special grade in no time… I'm not doing this because I have no faith in you, it's because I want to keep you all safe.”
Panda let out a less than manly whine as he felt a few of the dolls tickle his paw pads. “GAHAHAHA! Nonono! Not the paws!! NAHAHAT THE PAWS! okayokay! I'll be hehehe good! I promise!!”
As soon as he said that, the cursed corpses fell to the floor limp again.
“That… was so unfair… you're so mean… going after my paws like that.” Panda huffed, moping on the ground in a fluffy heap.
Yaga smirked in amusement, with a flick of his wrist the dolls stood back up and scampered off. “It's not my fault you don't listen.”
“Tuna mayo...” Inumaki lectured, patting Panda on the head again like earlier.
“Yeah we tried to warn you…” Yuta smiled sympathetically.
Gojo chuckled, shaking his head fondly at their antics. “Alright, who wants to go next? No more bickering from us.”
