I MADE A. LEAFY AU. tw for like… kinda graphic + impiled s/h ????????? also yes this au is heavily inspired by Brutus by The Buttress
Why do I feel jealous of everything he does? Why do people like him? Maybe those are questions I should keep to myself. It’ll only hurt more once I found out the truth. They all hate me, yet they flock around him. If you don’t know who I’m talking about— let’s go way back.
Firey and I had been close as kids, but as the years went by, we became more distant. When we were competing for Dream Island, we had still been close.. but.. he rejected me from the island. So.. I took it. Maybe it was wrong of me, but will I ever give it back? No. No I won’t. If he’s going to be difficult, I will too. But.. now..? Everyone hates me. Even Pin. Pin and I were close, too. I wish I hadn’t done that, but now it’s too late. Everyone loves and sympathizes for Firey. What does he have that I don’t?!
This jealousy drives me wild. I hate it. I’ve gotten more impulsive as years pass. I’ve had these thoughts about killing Firey. Well.. killing everyone. I wish these thoughts would go away. I really do. Maybe it’s why I try to stay away from them. To be respectful of their wishes.. and to not be a threat anymore.
The night felt empty. It swallowed me whole. I don’t like the way my arms look. I don’t like the way I look. I don’t like anything about me or them.
I wish I was seen. I wish I was Firey. I wish… wait.. if I give into these thoughts.. i can be Firey. I have to wait until midnight. Maybe my name will be known then. Maybe I won’t be known as “Island Stealer”.
I’ll wait for a few more months. Maybe, just maybe, people will like me if I try to rebuild my broken relationships. They’ll trust me, then they won’t blame me for his death! Yes, I found the solution!
The first relationship I tried to fix was with Pin. We talked for a bit, I told her I’d give Firey back the Island soon, and now we’re on a mutual amount of positive feelings. Good. Little does she know I won’t be giving back the Island when Firey “suddenly” dies.
Next… we have Bubble. Ugh. I hate her. She’s too bubbly.. but that’s unimportant.. for now. Anyway, we rebuilt our relationship by talking about things we enjoy.
You know the rest. I pretty much gained everyone’s trust again! Except for Flower.. she’s just narcissistic. She only thinks about herself. Not.. not like I’m saying this because she didn’t trust me! Totally not.. I mean, yknow, they have all the right to distrust me.. yeah.
Then, another challenge. These are what makes things difficult. I have to act all friendly.. but even more. I don’t want to be friendly with.. them. I hate all of them. They act like they’re all so good. No.. I’m not acting like this because of how Flower doesn’t trust me.. nope. Trust me. And then, things got unbelievably worse. I had to see people fan girling over Firey… again. I swear, I hate everyone. Especially him.. but do I hate him or am I just jealous? Whatever, he’ll be dead soon. Once BFDIA ends I’ll have a chance to kill him.
Flower seems to be having suspicions.. ugh. It’s always her. My head kinda hurts.. that hole on my face must be getting larger. Actually, I don’t know how it got there in the first place.. but it hurts really bad. I won’t get it checked out. Everyone just cares about Firey.
Once the challenge ends, I get a memory of how things used to be between me and.. him. We would laugh at the dumb jokes we made.. the times we played together… but now he ignores me all the time.
That night I fall asleep, it’s cold out.. the contestants all have a cottage. They forgot about me so I don’t have one of my own. I don’t even have materials to build one. It just makes me have stronger urges to harm and kill.. him. I will tomorrow.. if I get a chance.
The next day everyone had been playing, laughing at Firey’s stupid jokes. If I could just.. have a chance alone with him, I could be able to be where he is. For now? I’ll copy how he treats the others, I’ll act exactly like him. So, that’s what I did.
The contestants only liked me slightly more.. they still fawned over Firey. Mathe my only choice is to kill him. He’s useless anyway. What does he add? Why do they love him?
I didn’t get a chance alone with him for hours. Until.. midnight arrived. I snuck into his cottage, and struck him three times in the head, one in the heart. Blood was everywhere, and I wrote a note for everyone to see. I made sure it looked like Flower’s handwriting. Then, I fell asleep where I usually sleep at. Outside.
In the morning I heard people calling Firey’s name.. a few minutes later there were screams. Then, people accusing Flower. Good. Flower deserves it. She should’ve trusted me.
But.. people didn’t fawn over me? They.. mourned him. I didn’t expect this. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. I killed my.. own friend for this?! And this is what I get in return?! It can’t be that bad, can it! Maybe.. maybe I’m destined to be alone..? I started feeling the tear open wider, hurting a lot, but I didn’t cry. I was pushed too far past being able to cry.
Even after days passed people didn’t like me. They just cared about Firey. What was this I was starting to feel..? Guilt? Or is it still envy.. then.. a police search happened. They found my fingerprints on his body. So, they put me in jail.
After I got out, they all hated me even more than before. I regret everything, yet they keep trying to kill me, too. I ‘deserve it’ according to them. Which I don’t.
They keep acting like I expected this outcome. The execution attempts have stopped, but the hole in my face hasn’t. It still hurts. Everything hurts. I wish it didn’t. I wish this would’ve gone to plan.
Firey, if you hear this, I’m sorry. I regret everything. I hope one day I can join you. But I doubt I’ll be in Heaven with you. A sinner like me doesn’t deserve to see the pearly gates. I just keep wondering since I won’t end up with you, if they’ll still love you the same way they have. And if they don’t.. who will love you if it isn’t me. If I could redo everything, I would. I hope one day I get the punishment I deserve for this. You meant too much to me. I hope you have the best afterlife ever, and I’m sorry.
I’m sick in the head. Sick. Sick. I can’t do anything good. Every-time I try I hurt someone. I hate myself. I hate the way I act. But.. how did I expect to be loved this way? I don’t want to be alone anymore. I ruined my only chance to not be alone. Why?
I can’t answer the questions I ask myself. Now I’m definitely good for nothing. Some nights I still hear Firey’s voice. Mostly him asking why I did this. Fairly I don’t even remember why. How would I remember if whatever I tried failed?
Sometimes I still feel his hands against my arms. The coldness over those scars. The scars burn time to time, but nobody cares. I keep the hidden in the morning to the afternoon.
