The Nineties were long over by the time Tess realised why her mother always told her to “stop that” every time she caught her playing with that particular novelty in public. They were all over generic mall dollar stores in those days; as Lily-Ann McKay never wanted her daughter to have one, ‘Tessie’ resorted to chasing them all up and down the aisles or jiggling the water toy in her hand. Other children gleefully followed her example, innocent of any and all creepy implications. To their credit, most adults simply pretended unintentional ‘jacking off’ motions weren’t happening in the first place.
“This is all sorts of fucked up,” she mused, studying the toy she’d purchased on eBay for a ridiculous sum of money. Still, ‘all sorts of fucked up’ didn’t stop her from dropping the water-filled tube of plastic onto the floor of her apartment. By the time Heather let herself into the apartment using Her Own Personal Key, Tess was bobbing back and forth, snatching at the ‘weenie’ as it bounced all over the kitchen.
“Heather,” she greeted, finally catching the blue toy with its little orange starfish floating inside–only to curse as it shot out of her hand and started its merry little dance all over again.