#lemur thoughts

[lemurblog]

for lgbt stuff specifically i think julien/maurice are secure in knowing who they are because what other possible interpretation is there. they've been married for years. while i really can't see clover as anything but repressed and uninformed.. however i don't want to neglect the way clover barges into a room and doesn't feel bad about who she is.

but that's the thing, she's a COMPLEX lady! clover doesn't feel bad about not being nice, because she thinks nice is weak. but then she feels bad for not being nice, because she knows nice people deserve love.

that just sums up all her feelings. she thinks julien and maurice are nice and deserve love, and of course they deserve each other. she wants to protect them, but she is always just on the outside, because she is not nice and cannot belong with them (in her mind)

[lemurblog]

it's also a great example of how clover is different from the penguins. skipper literally has more in common with king julien than with clover. like kj, he is also someone on the inside. clover's never had that certainty of belonging he has with his own group! and it Shapes ur Identity and pov of the world. it's why clover and him cannot stand-in for each other. clover is just so openly fragile when it comes to people whether she likes it or not. “never swim alone” is like the antithesis of what she believes, let alone has experienced.

[lemurblog]

it's funny because i see julien and maurice as knowing exactly who they are and feeling a security in their identity and belonging, which clover doesn't have. but it's equally valid to see clover as this stalwart and unapologetic personality, while julien is incredibly insecure and constantly looking for external validation in how he acts. both are true. i love them dearly

i'd say clover is deeply insecure about her belonging, which julien can't relate to. because if NOTHING else, he's always been secure and certain of his belonging with maurice. (or maurice's belonging with him.) while clover's always been certain of her identity, personality, and preferences, but julien since he was a kid has been shaping himself to be what he thinks other people will like and think is cool. HOWEVER, clover's also been made to feel like her personality / identity / preferences aren't Good Enough and, if something's important to her, she has to hide it. while julien will shout from the rooftops who he is and celebrate it unrepentantly.

they're both often unblinkingly stalwart in their identity, they just feel insecure and unstable about different things. (clover in feeling like she is nobody's choice and belongs nowhere. julien in feeling like he's worth abandoning. she worries she isn't good enough and has to earn to her keep, julien feels like he's doomed to screw-up and shouldn't try. they both feel like they have to earn love, they've just been told they have to earn it in different ways.)

meanwhile maurice is like: well, me.... i'm normal

[lemurblog]

thinks about clovers grand gestures of affection.. overcoming any obstacle to protect her king, touching his face and chest when she's feeling soft, professing devotion to him in front of a crowd of people, having nightmares about losing him.. but also her soft secret subtle gestures of affection.. sitting her chair close to maurice on the beach, bringing him to her boxing match, writing him in her novel as a courageous knight, how he's her go-to partner for all of her missions without a second thought

[lemurblog]

also neat of those times when Julien & Maurice are in a good mood and Clover isn’t and they don’t make it seem like a problem, or even point it out. they want Clover to have fun and be happy but they’re not out to change her or anything. she doesn't need to look or act different for them to like her. i just compare it to Clover smiling around the uncle king bc she was afraid to look unhappy. there’s someth about feeling secure in a relationship to be who you are without fear of getting punished, and to be actually rewarded for it. your two friends are nonplussed by the havoc you wreak. being flawed is not a dealbreaker

like it’s inch resting i’m all about royal trio bc of how they challenge each other, but at the same time i’d say julien and maurice ask so little from her. she's good enough the way she is for them to choose her

clover’s internal change didn’t happen bc they made her feel like she’s not good enough or she’s Doomed because of her flaws or someth. the change happens more by what they inspire through their friendship, and acceptance. the mercy they have for each other.. despite it all.. good vibes

[lemurblog]

clover leaves julien on read all the time but she responds to maurice right away. eventually to get a reply out of her julien has to use maurice's phone, but their typing styles are so different that she catches on and selectively ignores texts from “maurice” when she knows they're from julien. she also responds right away if maurice is using julien's phone for whatever reason

it's not that she ignores julien ALL the time. she's queen of one word responses and hard periods like "Ok." “Fine.” “No." and has no idea it comes across as so severe. she can't imagine sending someone a sentence in text, let alone a paragraph. meanwhile julien is impervious to being left on read. he won't stop texting even when she hasn't responded in hours.. days..

part of it isn't just clover ignoring him to make a point and julien being annoying on purpose (tho it is partly that) it's also a genuine difference in communication styles. julien will leave her phone alone for days then barrage her with a bunch of inane texts he's not invested in a reply to, and she has no idea how to respond to anyway. when she first got his phone number, she didn’t know what to do when he started casually texting her bc no one had ever actually done that before sljdfs. a reason she leaves him on read so much is her only reply would be "Why did you send me this?" while maurice at least has a braincell when he messages her

here's the annoying thing about clover tho, she doesn't get texting because calling exists. she will call for someth that could've been addressed in 5 seconds over text. maurice picks up every time but it's a little exasperating for him, especially when she's in a frantic mood and she'll call, get a reply, hang up, then call again for someth else five mins later. bc of this julien never picks up when she calls LMFAOOO