#lengthy rumination

[ruminationsandbrainbugs]

I can’t tell you how many times a day I pray that the you that loves me is still in there Fighting for dominance Wishing reality could change, as much as I do Demanding autonomy from unfairness I pray every day that I’ll see that smile again One worn by someone truly in love It’s not a prayer I make lightly, or with little knowledge of what it entails Believe me I fully understand the pain involved I know you well enough to fully understand it And with it in mind, I continue to pray. And every waking moment, do I Because your smile is something worth dying for

[ruminationsandbrainbugs]

I can’t sleep, so long as you’re running around in my head… So I guess I’ll join that You in an all-nighting show-binging junk-food-shoveling slumber party until the sun rises and falls again. Because I’d much rather be kept company by the comforting madness of the pondering of you, than release myself to distraction and acceptance. The You that runs around in my head is what keeps me going, you see. She runs and plays and loves as much as you do. It’s a sight to behold, and I never find myself less amazed than the first time I observed your wonder. And you know, I hope there is something to that old wive’s tale about how if you think of a goal every morning and every night, eventually, that goal will manifest itself in reality. I really do hope that. And I assure you, The You in my head does too.

[ruminationsandbrainbugs]

Could I find similar joy in someone else? Sure - I'll never argue that But no amount of half-assed attempts at poetry will come close to describe how particularly perfect you are Every strength to every weakness, no matter how noticeable or unnoticeable Every word spoken to every word not From the ways you make life easier for me, to every way you're an indescribable challenge My love for you doesn't come from the good I see in you, or all that you've done for me, or the happiness you helped me to feel It's in who you are, and what it means. So, could I find something in someone else that brings me similar happiness to what you bring me? Yes But do I want anything short of every tiny little detail that makes you who you are? Absolutely fucking not.

A lost boy, finding his way in the darkness, and requesting his old lantern... Not because he needs it anymore, but because it’s his favorite