Jan 11, 2021
I'm about to start a protective Cubs fic so who do yall want to see being protective most? I can do three separate ones but who do you want to see first?
seen from China
seen from Russia
seen from Colombia
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Netherlands
I'm about to start a protective Cubs fic so who do yall want to see being protective most? I can do three separate ones but who do you want to see first?
56 for the cubs
Hehehe, you probably expected an injury but nah i’m just gonna project on people now
“I can’t feel anything”
Thank our knight in shining armor @lumosinlove for her amazing characters
TW: depression/throwing up
Logan learned the hard way that hiding who you are from people you love and yourself for years can lead to horrible anxiety and depression. He hates that fact and therefore shares it with no one. The only people who know about it are Dumo and Remus, though Leo and Finn suspected.
Most of the time Logan could control it, push it to the back of his mind, or distract himself but one of the many things he had learned was that depression demanded to be felt.
So there were days when he couldn’t get out of bed, days he couldn’t sleep and instead laid in bed all day crying for no specific reason. He could tell it always worried his boys but they responded to it differently. Leo always made sure Logan knew he could talk to him and Finn was always there when he needed a distraction.
He appreciated it, he really did, but there were days where he felt so numb and broken that he questioned their motives. Those were the worst days, when the doubt crept in and told him he was bad for Leo and Finn, that they were far better off without him.
Logan tended to go to Remus or Dumo on those days, unable to face Leo and Finn when he felt like that.
Which was how he found himself in front of Remus and Sirius’s front door, debating on knocking since he hadn’t told them he was coming. After too many minutes of wringing his hands and pacing, he knocked before he could think about it anymore.
There was laughter on the other side of the door before he heard Remus’s voice calling that he’d get the door. Logan’s heart raced as he realized they had company and he spun on his heel, about to walk away before the door opened and Remus grabbed his arm.
“Wait, what’s wrong?” He asked as he gently spun Logan back around so he could look at him. “Nothing’s wrong. Sorry I didn’t realize you had company.” Remus took in his appearance for a second before shaking his head.
“You only ever show up randomly when you’re not doing well.” He paused momentarily, his eyes scanning Logan’s face thoroughly. “Plus, you’ve been crying.” Logan dropped his eyes to the ground. “Is it that obvious?” He asked, his heart sinking impossibly lower. Remus took a step towards his and dropped a comforting hand to his hair. “Only to me. Come on it.”
Logan swallowed roughly and shook his head. “Really, I’ll be alright. I can just go to Dumo’s.” Remus shook his head and pulled Logan lightly into the entryway. “You can’t go there because he’s here. It’s just us, Dumo, and the Potter’s don’t worry about it.”
Picking on the sleeves of his sweatshirt that belonged to Leo, a fact he was trying to ignore because what right did he have to wear this sweatshirt, he stepped into the foyer with Remus.
Remus hugged him tightly, his mouth close to Logan’s ear. “Do you want me or Dumo right now?” He asked quietly. Logan just shut his eyes tightly and shook his head. “I don’t know.” Remus rubbed his back soothingly for a minute. “Okay, do you want to just hang out for a bit?” Logan nodded slowly. “If I’m not intruding.”
Remus laughed quietly as he pulled away. “You’re never intruding.” Logan smiled and followed him quietly. Remus led them to the living room where James and Lily were sitting on the floor with Harry crawling between them, Sirius was sitting on the loveseat and Remus walked over and dropped a kiss to his forehead before sitting in his lap casually. The sight hurt Logan’s heart, his mind automatically going to his worried boyfriends at home.
Dumo was sitting on the couch, his eyes taking in Logan’s appearance as e gestured to the spot next to him. Logan walked over with a fake smile after waving to the Potter’s and Sirius when they welcomed him.
Logan plopped down next to Dumo and laid down so he could put his head in Dumo’s lap. He had good parents, he’d been raised well but they lived in Canada and he rarely saw them so when Dumo had offered him a place to stay it was like he finally had a father again.
Dumo supported him wholeheartedly and while Logan had never flat out told him about his anxiety and depression he knew Dumo knew about it.
Logan let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and focused on the feeling of Dumo’s large hand in his hair. “Are you alright, mon fils?” He asked quietly, his voice comforting in a way no one else’s was. Logan nodded stiffly, his eyes venturing to Harry.
They sat in silence listening to the conversation going around them before Dumo lifted his head carefully off his lap. “Come on.” He said quietly to Logan as he walked over to Sirius. “Je vole ta chambre pendant un moment mon fils.” Sirius’s eyes drifted to Logan before he nodded, smiling a bit at Logan as they walked by.
Once they were seated on the guest bed, Dumo pulled Logan’s head back into his lap. “What’s going on?” He said quietly, his voice so caring that Logan felt tears prick his eyes. How can someone care so much about someone so undeserving?
“I’m sick of being broken.” Logan whispered, embarrassed that his tears were already falling. He was such an awful person, he didn’t deserve to cry. “Arrêtez. You’re not broken.” Logan let out a shuddering breath and shook his head.
“I am. My mind doesn’t work like all of yours. If there are too many people around I can’t breathe, I can be happy one moment and the next be completely numb. I love Leo and Finn so much but right now seeing them makes me so sad because I don’t deserve them, I never have. I just want to stop thinking, my brain goes from zero to one hundred all the time. When I’m not terribly depressed I just feel so numb, like no matter what anyone it wouldn’t matter. It’s like I can’t feel anything.”
Dumo stayed silent while Logan ranted, his hand soothing Logan’s dark hair back, the other rubbing his arm comfortingly. Logan was shaking and the tears were uncontrollable, he turned so he could tuck his face into Dumo’s stomach. “I’m just so tired all the time. It’s like I’m drowning.” Logan cried, his voice muffled against the fabric of Dumo’s shirt.
“Je t'ai mon fils, tu vas bien.” Dumo said quietly, his arms tightening around Logan enough to lift him up into a sitting position. “Your mind isn’t broken, it’s just different. I know you get sad and upset a lot and that’s okay, we will always be there for you. Always. Your boys love you so much and I don’t want to hear that you aren’t good enough because you guys wouldn’t work without you, just like how y’all wouldn’t work without Leo or Finn.”
Dumo frowned as Logan buried his head into his neck as Logan’s chest heaved. “I know you’re tired, mon fils, but we would never let you drown.” They sat there for a while neither talking. Dumo let Logan cry it out knowing it would be worse if he didn’t.
After a while of sniffles, Logan pulled away and wiped his eyes which were now so bloodshot that Dumo was slightly concerned. “Sorry,” Logan muttered his eyes on the wet spot on Dumo’s shirt. Dumo just waved it off with a shake of his head. “It’s quite alright. I believe you should go talk to your boys, do you want them to come here or do you want me to drive you back?”
Logan closed his eyes, suddenly very tired. “Do you mind driving me?” Dumo shook his head and hugged the boy who was his son in every way but blood. “I don’t mind but if I know you I doubt you told them where you were going so why don’t you text them while I grab my keys.
Logan laughed softly and nodded, grabbing his phone out of his pocket and shooting Finna and Leo a quick text. Logan walked back to the living room and met Remus’s eyes.
Remus smiled at him kindly and opened his arms for a hug that Logan gave him gratefully. “Go be with your boys, I hope it passes soon.” He said quietly as Logan pulled away. Logan gave him an appreciative smile and walked over to where Dumo was standing by the door, waving bye to everyone.
Once they were in the car Logan turned on Spotify, his phone was always the first to connect in Dumo’s car because Dumo liked country and Logan was voted best DJ. He shuffled his ‘chill vibes’ playlist and laid his head back against the seat letting his eyes fall closed.
They rode in silence until Dumo pulled up to Logan’s apartment. Dumo placed a comforting hand on Logan’s shoulder when it was obvious Logan was making no move to get out of the car. “You’ve got this kid. They love you, they’ll understand.” Logan worried at his bottom lip.
“What if they don’t? What if they think I’m a freak and kick me out? What if they think I’m weak for letting this get to me? What if they think I’m not good enough for them?” Logan turned to look at Dumo, his eyes wide with anxiety. “Mon Dieu, what if they realize I’m not good enough for them?” Dumo narrowed his eyes and shook his head.
“First of all, take some deep breaths. There you go. Okay, secondly they will understand. Logan has anxiety so he’ll understand that and both of them will try their hardest to understand where you’re coming from depression wise. Third of all, they would never ever kick you out and if they did you know you can come to mine, but they won’t.” Dumo clarified, maintaining eye contact with Logan so he could see the sincerity in his eyes.
“You’re not weak for this and screw anyone who makes you think you are. I will personally come over here and punch them if they say something like that. Most importantly, mon fils, is that you are good enough for them. You deserve the world and I know you don’t see that but you’ve been through so much and you’ve been dealt bad hands before but this isn’t one of them. You deserve them just as much as they deserve you so stop thinking of yourself as less.”
Logan nodded slowly, a small smile spreading across his face. “Thank you, Père.” Dumo laughed softly and pulled him into a tight hug before unlocking the door and letting Logan out. “I’ll be with Remus and Sirius if you need me. Text me when your done and I can get you so you can get your car from Remus’s.” Logan gave him a thumbs up and made his way into the apartment building.
Logan took the stairs so he had more time to think about what he was going to say to Leo and Finn.
He knew that they wouldn’t think any less of him but he was so scared they would reject him that he was starting to get physically sick. His stomach was churning and all he wanted to do was lay down and wait it out but he had to talk to Leo and Finn first, they deserved that much.
Logan stumbled slightly on his way into the apartment, his throat burning in the tell tale sign he was about to be sick. Finn and Leo were on the couch and both of them looked over when they heard the door open.
“Lo, are you okay?” Logan was about to answer Finn when his stomach flipped again and he all but ran to the bathroom, dropping to his knees in front of the toilet just in time. It only took a minute for Finn and Leo to join him, Finn rubbing his back soothingly as Leo got a cold rag and pressed it to the back of his neck.
He shuddered as he gagged a few more times before he allowed Finn to pull him into his lap. He was crying again but he felt an overwhelming numb feeling settling over him and he closed his eyes tightly.
Leo rested his forehead against Logan’s and brought his hands up to cup Logan’s tearstained face. “Baby, you have to tell us what’s going on. This will only get worse if you don’t let us in.” Logan’s breath stuttered and he felt tears slip down his face.
He opened his eyes briefly and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He looked terrible. His eyes were red and bloodshot, tear tracks clear on his cheeks. He closed his eyes again not wanting to look anymore. He already had a headache from crying but the tears wouldn’t stop.
“I’m so sorry.” Logan said quietly. Finn tightened his hold around Logan’s waist and rested his chin on Logan’s shoulder, Leo pressed their foreheads together with more force. “Baby, you have nothing to be sorry about.” Finn said, dropping a soft kiss to Logan’s shoulder.
Logan just shook his head. “I do. I’m sorry I get like this, I know it makes you worry. I’m sorry I can’t be happy when I have more than enough reason to be. I’m just sorry for being like this, you both deserve so much more. You would be better off without me.”
It fell silent and Leo leaned away from him, an unreadable expression on his face. Logan froze for a moment, terrified that they would agree with him. When it stayed silent he squirmed, trying to get out of Finn’s arms but Finn seemed to snap out of it and tightened his grip while Leo reached forward to push the hair that had fallen in his face.
Leo’s unreadable expression shifted and tears gathered in his eyes. “Logan, no.” Logan flinched at the use of his read name and Finn pulled him back into his chest so Logan could relax against him.
“Baby, you can’t help it. We know you can’t help it, we understand. You don’t have to always be happy Lo, no one is. You shouldn’t be sorry for any of it, please don’t apologize for that.” Leo said softly, tears falling slowly down his face. Logan frowned and raised his hand to wipe them away, Leo made a sad noise and nuzzled into the touch.
Finn kissed his shoulder gently again before resting his forehead there. “I’m glad you think we deserve so much but so do you, Lo. You deserve just as much as we do and you best bet your sorry ass that we are not better off without you no matter what you think. You make us us and we wouldn’t trade you for the world.” Finn said, his voice authoritative and strong.
Logan closed his eyes tightly and brought Leo closer pulling him into a hug and relishing in the feeling of having both his boys arms around him. “I love you both so much.” Logan said, his voice cracking through tears.
Leo pulled back with a wet laugh and stood up holding his hands out to Logan to help him up. Logan took them and let himself be hauled up before turning to help Finn up. He was a little shocked to see silent tears falling down Finn’s face.
Logan knelt back down in front of him, his thumbs wiping away the tears while his other fingers cupped Finn’s face. “Why are you crying?” Logan asked softly, retracting his hands when Finn stood up. Logan stood up too and was quickly pulled into the middle of a tight hug from Leo and Finn.
“Did you really think we would care? Or that you weren’t worth it?” Finn asked quietly, his face buried in Logan’s hair. Logan shuddered and let out a shaky breath. “Yes? Logically I knew you wouldn’t but I can’t help but think it, if that makes sense.” He added, suddenly scared that they would judge him for thinking that way.
Leo kissed the top of his head and shook his head. “I get that. But mon chéri, we don’t think of you any differently or less if that’s what you’re worried about. If anything we’re grateful you told us, at least we understand a bit more. We can help better now that we know what’s wrong.” Logan couldn’t bite back the sob that tore through him.
Leo looked at him anxiously. “Did I say something wrong?” He asked anxiously, pulling away so he could tilt Logan’s head towards his own. Finn laughed softly, his arms still wrapped around Logan’s stomach in a way Logan appreciated more than he could say.
“No, you said just the right thing.” Finn said quietly. He had just barely finished his sentence before Logan smashed his mouth against Leo’s.
Leo made a shocked noise before kissing back hotly. Finn made an appreciative sound and started kissing Logan’s neck, sucking hard on certain places he knew unwound Logan.
Logan pulled back from Leo and brought Finn’s mouth up to meet his own and stuck his tongue forcefully into Finn’s mouth. Leo groaned and attached his lips to Finn’s shoulder, slowly making his way up Finn’s neck.
Leo pulled back after a moment, panting slightly. “As much as I love this and want to ravish both of you very much right now, I think we should get out of the bathroom and take this to the bedroom.” Logan laughed against Finn’s mouth and pulled away, Finn bit his bottom lip gently as he pulled away before letting go.
Logan briefly wondered why he had been so upset at the idea of telling them what was upsetting them so much. His boys always knew exactly what to say and exactly what to do when it came to him.
Now that his ‘secret’ was out Leo and Finn became very good at telling when Logan got in his slumps. Logan had to admit that their distractions were pretty effective and he enjoyed it a lot, but the times he really loved were when they sat down and talked him through it.
Tonight though, tonight was a good distraction.
I am living for all your lumosinlove content lately! The prompt list is so good so if you’re still up for it I’d love 20 and 24 for o’knutzy! The boys are my fav
"Hey, just look at me. Breathe.” + "Stop keeping your phone on silent, you got me worried.”
Characters by @lumosinlove bless her beautiful mind
TW: panic attack/anxiety/depression
Leo wasn’t a control freak and he most certainly wasn’t freaking out about not knowing where the hell Logan was at three o’clock in the morning.
Finn was in New York visiting his parents so it had just been Leo and Logan for the past few days so when Leo woke up in the middle of the night to an empty bed he had automatically assumed Logan was in the bathroom.
When it became evident that Logan wasn’t in the bathroom, Leo had felt his anxiety start pooling in his stomach as he set about the apartment trying to find his boyfriend who never ever woke up in the middle of the night.
Leo felt his anxiety start spiraling when he realized Logan wasn’t in the apartment at all. He had tried calling him but Logan’s phone just rang out every time and Leo was sick of leaving voicemails.
Deciding he had had enough when he went to check outside just in case Logan had stepped out, he called Finn. It was obvious that he had woken Finn up with his call, not that he really expected anything else.
“Leo?” Finn’s groggy voice filtered through the phone. “What’s wrong?” His words were slurring with sleep and Leo felt momentarily bad for waking him up before remembering his reasoning.
“F-Finn?” Finn’s next response sounded much more awake. “What happened? What’s wrong?” Leo tried to stop his body from shaking but it felt like the room was getting smaller, his lungs were burning and he gritted his teeth against the waves of anxiety.
“I can’t find him. I woke up and he wasn’t here so I started looking around but he isn’t here and he isn’t answering his phone and I don’t know how to get to him and-” Finn cut him off and told him to breathe. “Baby he’ll be okay, but you need to breathe if you’re going to be of any help to him okay?” Leo couldn’t simply turn off his anxiety but the words brought him the energy to fight harder against it.
“What if he’s hurt? What if something happens? Why would he just leave?” Leo heard Finn sigh over the phone and he could practically see the frown he knew was plastered on Finn’s face. “He’s probably out thinking. It’s a pretty bad day for him and he always beats himself up today so he probably just couldn’t sleep and went for a walk. If it makes you feel better you can wait up for him, I’ll stay on the phone.”
Leo hesitated, torn between the comfort his boyfriend brought and the guilt for waking him up. “It’s alright you can go back to sleep, I’ll wait up for him. I just have one question.” There was a muffled noise from Finn’s side and Leo heard a huff before Finn’s voice came back through.
“Okay, go ahead but I’m going to stay on for a while just so you don’t freak out again.” Leo felt a rush of affection for Finn, appreciative of how well his boyfriend knew him. “Thanks, Harzy.” Leo said, his voice softer. “Why is today bad for him?” Leo asked carefully, anxiety crawling back up when Finn went quiet.
“It’s the day I left for Gryffindor, neither of us wanted to leave things the way they did and Logan beats himself up for it every year. I called him the night I got there, I was crying because everything was too much and I just really needed him and he only talked to me for about five minutes before hanging up. He was scared and understandably so, he was trying to act strong but it hurt and he regrets it a lot. We both did a lot of dumb things when we were in college.” Leo closed his eyes and let out a sigh.
He was well aware of how bad Logan could get when he got caught up in his college years, most of the time he would get quiet and distant and would sleep on the couch, punishing himself for things that he’d been long since forgiven for.
“I’m normally with him,” Finn added a hint of pain in his voice that made Leo frown. “I normally help him through it but I wasn’t there. I should’ve been there.” It was Leo's turn to sigh. "Finn you couldn't help it your family needed you, I should've realized something was going on."
There was silence on the other end of the phone until Finn broke it. "God I wish I was there to hug you two." Leo laughed weakly and was about to respond when he heard the lock turn in the door.
"He's here." Leo said breathlessly. "Okay. Can you call me later? He'll need you right now but call me later?" Finn sounded slightly frantic and Leo's nerves shot again. "I will. I love you." Leo whispered, his eyes locked on the door that was opening. "I love you too." Finn said before hanging up.
The door opened with a creak and Logan stepped in. Leo's hands started shaking again as he took in Logan's red eyes and tear-streaked face.
"You-you weren't answering." Leo stuttered standing up quickly, Logan's head spun around at the sound. "My phone was on silent." Logan said softly, slowly making his way to Leo.
"You could have left a note or a text or anything. Stop leaving your phone on silent, you got me worried." Leo said, his voice wavering slightly. Logan’s lip quivered slightly and Leo let out a sigh as he opened his arms.
Logan let out a sob as he all but collapsed into Leo’s arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I should h-have told you.” Leo raised one hand from where it was rubbing soothing circles on Logan’s back to his brown curls as he eased them back on the couch.
Leo pulled Logan into his lap so he could wrap his arms around Logan’s waist, Logan’s head falling on his shoulder and his knees meeting Leo’s waist. “You’re okay, baby.” Logan just sobbed harder, Leo felt his own eyes watering in response.
“I-I was so bad. L-Leo I’m such a-a bad person.” Logan sounded so broken that Leo felt his breath catch in his throat. “Baby, no. Logan, you’re such an amazing person don’t say that.” Logan shook his head frantically, his head lifting off Leo’s shoulder so he could look Leo in the face.
“No, I hurt him. Le, I hurt him so badly. I knew he was doing bad, I knew it and I didn’t try to help, not only did I not try to help but I was part of the reason.” Logan’s breaths were coming too fast and Leo knew he needed to calm him down.
“Lo, baby, look at me. Hey, look at me. Breathe.” He said, tilting Logan’s head so he could see his green eyes that were shining with tears. “I-I can’t. I can’t breathe.” Logan said gasping, panic taking over his features. Leo put his hands up to either side of Logan’s face and wiped the tears with his thumbs.
“You have to breathe for me, honey. Just breathe. You’re not a bad person, we all know that and Finn forgave you a long time ago. You deserve everything, that was a long time ago and you suffered from it just as much as he did.” Logan let out a sob but his breathing had returned to semi-normal.
Logan wrapped his arms tightly around Leo and buried his face in Leo’s neck as if he couldn’t get close enough. Leo kissed his head and tightened his grip, he knew Logan well enough by now that he just needed to be close to someone.
“I’m just, I’m just so tired.” Logan said quietly and Leo stilled for a second before slipping his hands under Leo’s shirt so he could rub circles with his thumbs over Logan’s hip bones. Logan never talked about his anxiety or his depression and the only people who knew he had it was Leo, Finn, and Remus.
“I can’t explain it. It’s like I’ll be fine one minute and the next it’s on replay and as much as I want to believe you and Finn I can’t help but feel like I’m an awful person. It’s like I’m in this hole that I can’t get out of and every time I try I just sink deeper.” Leo sighed, wishing that there was some way he could help.
“I feel like I’m drowning.” Logan added his voice nothing more than a whisper. The words felt like knives in his heart and Leo had to squeeze his eyes shut to stop the tears threatening to fall. “We won’t let you.” Leo said forcefully, his arms bringing Logan impossibly closer. “Finn and I would never let you. If you ever feel like you’re sinking we’ll be there to pull you back up.”
Logan laughed weakly and pulled back so he could kiss Leo soundly. “I love you, you know that right? I love you so much.” Logan said softly and Leo couldn’t help the fond smile that appeared on his face. “I love you too, Lo. So much.” Logan smiled before rolling off Leo’s lap and dragging him up to his feet.
Leo laughed, following him until Logan pulled him to their room and pushed Leo on the bed, crawling on top of him. Leo raised an eyebrow and Logan rolled his eyes before dropping to his elbows and planting a firm kiss on Leo’s lips.
Leo smiled into it before rolling so he was on top of Logan. “I think it’s been an emotional night and Finn wanted you to facetime him before you go to sleep so we should do this in the morning.” Logan pouted but nodded, sighing when Leo laid on him. Leo was making it hard to breathe but Logan just smiled and tangled his fingers into the blonde’s curls.
“Alright let’s call him.”
love your writing! if you’re still taking requests could you do 61 and 63 for o’knutzy?
"Hey, woah. Don’t pass out on me.” + “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this sick.”
Characters belong to our lord and savior @lumosinlove
TW: sickness/throwing up/blood
Out of the three of them, Logan was least likely to get sick. No one really knew why but he simply never got sick. Leo tended to get colds and cases of flu mostly while Finn had the unfortunate habit of getting every stomach bug known to man.
So it was very odd for Logan to feel bad but since he didn’t get sick he didn’t want to worry anyone about it. He was slow getting ready but Finn and Leo had both gone to practice early so they weren’t there to see him stumble to the coffee machine clutching his head.
Logan had to turn the music off in his car because it was making the pounding in his head worse. That was the first major red flag since he always always listened to music in the car, it was like a pre-practice ritual.
The next red flag was when his depth perception started getting bad. He had meant to grab his helmet off the wall in his locker but managed to slam his hand into the door a few inches away. He had played it off as being clumsy but was well aware of Remus and Dumo watching him closely after that.
He was on the ice when he saw specks of blood on the ground, he tried looking around to pinpoint who was hurt when he saw more splatter on the ground under him. Was he the one bleeding? He brought a hand up to his face and it came away bloody.
He stood still for a while, not paying much attention to the others skating around him while he realized it was his nose that was bleeding so bad. He was about to take his helmet off when Sirius hit him checked him.
That was considered a light tap and normally Logan could have avoided it all together but even if he hadn’t managed to avoid it, it shouldn’t have sent him to the ground. Everything was spinning when he finally opened his eyes.
Sirius was standing over him with concerned eyes and soon Finn and Leo were next to him leaning down to help Logan up. Logan reached blindly for them and Finn caught his wrist, staring at his hand distraught.
“Lo, you’re bleeding.” At this point, Remus, Dumo, and James were all standing close as well. “I’m fine.” Logan slurred slightly. “Jus’ my nose.” He said, closing his eyes so the world would stop spinning.
“I knew I should have talked to you when you got here, you look pretty bad Tremzy.” Remus said quietly, somehow attuned to the headache Logan was having.
"Thanks for the input Loops." He said trying to ignore the weightlessness that was settling in his bones.
Leo grabbed his other hand and hauled him to his feet, the room spun around him and he clutched Leo's arm in an attempt to stay upright.
"Hey, woah. Don't pass out on me." Leo said concerned as he wrapped his other arm around Logan's waist. Logan wanted to retort but he was too busy trying to fight the stars blotting his vision.
Finn slipped his arm around Logan's waist, helping Leo keep him upright. "Is he alright? Did I do that? Merde, I swear I didn't mean to." Sirius said, skating in front of them while Remus skated behind in case Logan fell.
“No, I’m fine.” Logan said, much softer than he had intended. Sirius frowned and continued biting his lip. Logan felt a wave of nausea rock through his stomach and was relieved when Leo settled him on the bench carefully. Finn helped him get his helmet off and he heard them all give soft gasps and Logan reached up to his nose again.
It came away bloody again and another wave of nausea settled and he slumped against Leo’s side. Finn knelt in front of Logan and put a gentle hand on his forehead before pulling it away cursing. “You’re so hot Lo.” Logan felt a goofy smile pull at his lips. “Why thank you, baby, so are you.”
He heard the delirium in his own voice and laughed loudly before doubling over the trash can Remus had just put in front of him and emptied his stomach into the can. Leo rubbed his back soothingly and Finn held back the hair that fell into his face.
Remus cussed quietly and Logan found himself laughing again. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this sick before.” Remus said, turning and asking Moody to do something before turning back to Logan.
“This is worse than the time we all got food poisoning in our freshman year of college.” Finn said, his nose wrinkling up as he remembered throwing up in the sink since Logan had already claimed the toilet. Logan heaved again and Remus lightly slapped Finn’s arm. “Not right now Finn.”
Logan groaned and sat back, this time resting his back against Leo’s chest. Leo kissed his damp hair and rested his chin on Logan’s shoulder. “You want to go home baby?” Leo asked softly, his thumb coming up to wipe some of the blood away while Finn grabbed a rag and wiped Leo’s mouth before handing him a water bottle at Remus’s request. Logan frowned, his fever red cheeks growing a dark crimson as they babied him.
He swatted at Finn’s hand weakly. “‘m fine.” He said but was immediately contradicting himself when he started coughing loudly. Leo kissed his forehead before standing up and reaching down to help Logan up. “Wait, let me take his temperature first.” Remus said, grabbing the thermometer from Moody and gently placing it in Logan’s mouth.
Logan rested his forehead on Finn’s stomach, Finn’s hands playing with his hair absentmindedly. It was silent for a minute before the thermometer started beeping annoyingly. Remus took it out of Logan’s mouth and looked at it, frown deepening as he took in the numbers. “It’s 105 so you’re definitely sick, how come you didn’t tell anyone?”
Logan just shrugged, not bothering to lift his head from Finn’s toned stomach. “Started yesterday morning.” He mumbled before standing up, grabbing Finn’s arms to stable himself as the room swam around him.
“Come here, Lo.” Leo said, bending down in front of him. Logan didn’t think twice as he climbed on his boyfriend’s back and rested his head on Leo’s back. Finn grabbed their bags and talked to Remus for a second while Leo carried Logan to Finn’s car.
Leo helped Logan get in the back before climbing in the back with him, maneuvering Logan until he was laying down with his head in Leo’s lap. Logan made a happy noise and turned to bury his face in Leo’s abdomen. Leo chuckled slightly as he watched Logan curl into him with a contented sigh.
Finn came out two minutes later, quickly throwing their bags in the car before getting in the driver’s seat, glancing at his boyfriends in the back seat. “He okay?” Finn asked as he started the car, Leo looked up and nodded as Finn pulled out.
It was a relatively fast car ride, Logan had fallen asleep about five minutes into the ride. Finn helped Leo get him into their room and they stripped him, putting him in more comfortable clothes.
Logan had given them a suggestive smile when they had started taking his clothes off which made them both laugh as they shook their heads saying ‘not now.’ Finally having gotten him changed into Leo’s hoodie and Finn’s sweatpants they lowered him into bed and under the covers.
Leo changed quickly and Finn took a shower before crawling into bed with his two boys. Logan was playing with Leo’s fingers making incoherent noises and Leo met Finn’s eyes with an amused smirk.
Logan turned to Finn quickly when he laid down but paused halfway, his eyes flickering every which way in a telltale sign that the room was spinning for him. Finn pulled him against his chest. “Close you’re eyes, we’ve got you. You need to rest so you’ll feel better.”
“I feel fine.” Was Logan’s only response but he curled closer to Finn despite his words. Leo laughed softly and kissed Logan’s neck gently, Logan let out a quiet hum and Leo rested his forehead between Logan’s shoulder blades. Logan felt Finn rest his chin on Logan’s curls and smiled sleepily.
Logan couldn’t help but think despite being sick, he loved being sandwiched between his two favorite people. The comfort and care radiating off of them was enough to loll him into sleep almost instantly.
Prompt 50: "Please make it stop."
O'Knutzy
TW: panic attacks
Characters by the beautiful @lumosinlove
Logan wasn’t always an anxious person, most people didn’t even know he was but he had a talent for overthinking things, which was exactly what he was doing now.
Finn and Leo were out getting dinner since Leo didn’t want to cook tonight and Logan was fine when they left but then he had gotten on Twitter to find hundreds of posts about people theorizing the actual relationship between Leo, Finn, and Logan.
They were all fighting about who was actually dating who since they were all so close but Logan was too freaked out to try to reason that they were just theories. Flashbacks of Loops and Cap’s photos came back and hit him full force and stealing his breath. This wasn’t happening, they didn’t actually know.
Most of the comments were people being nice but the ones where people responded by telling them it was disgusting and that Leo, Logan, and Finn would never be disgusting poofs were the ones that Logan couldn’t shake.
He had to stop reading the comments when his hands were shaking too hard to keep his phone still. He was aware of the fact that he wasn’t breathing normally but he couldn’t do anything about it when he was so worked up.
It wasn’t fair that they had to stay hidden, he wanted to love his boys in public. He didn’t want to have to hide but he couldn’t imagine the hate they’d get. He didn’t- he couldn’t do that to Finn and Leo, they didn’t deserve it.
Growing up in Quebec did nothing when it came to comfort, it was unheard of to be gay there. Finn and Leo were both out to their families but Logan wasn’t. His sisters knew but that was it, he physically couldn’t tell his parents. He’d tried before but he had just thrown up from the nerves and chickened out.
He owed it to the boys to come out, he wasn’t ashamed of them and he didn’t want them to think that but it was so scary. He knew the team would back them up but he was too scared to let anyone else know.
Logan was seeing stars at the point, his whole body was trembling and his cheeks were wet but he wasn’t sure when he started crying. His body was jerking randomly and he was gasping but the air wouldn’t stay in his lungs.
After five more minutes of gasps, tears, and stars, the door opened and he heard Leo and Finn laughing. Logan got off the couch unsteadily and stumbled over to them.
Finn was putting the takeout on the counter so only Leo saw him coming. Leo had turned to him with a smile that quickly dissipated when he saw Logan. He was relieved to finally have his boys home but the energy it had taken to get to Leo had him more breathless than he already was and his vision was dimming rapidly.
“Make it stop,” Logan gasped as his legs gave out. “Please make it stop.” He said through his tears as Leo caught him and sank to the floor. Leo wrapped his arms tightly around Logan and held him to his chest, Logan seated between his legs. Logan rested his forehead on Leo’s collarbone and tried to stop shaking to no avail.
“Baby, breathe for me.” Leo said in his ears, rocking them gently. “Lo, you have to breathe. Je t'ai, respire.” Logan tried but couldn’t help the shaking gasps still coming out of him. “What happened? What’s going on? Lo?” He heard Finn’s frantic questions and felt his breathing come impossibly faster as he curled into Leo.
He wasn’t trying to scare Finn or Leo, he hadn’t meant to freak Finn out.
“Finn, you have to calm down you’re making it worse. Can you get some water and a cool rag?” Leo said calmly, his hand rubbing soothing circles on Logan’s back. “Make it stop.” Logan whimpered, burying his head in Leo’s chest.
“It’ll pass, you just gave to give it a minute I’ve got you.” Leo murmured softly, placing a gentle kiss on Logan’s dark curls. Logan felt Leo take his hand and place it over his chest. “Can you breathe with me? Copy my breathing.” He said quietly as he exaggerated his breathing, taking deep breaths.
Logan tried his best to copy but it was hard. He felt something cold on his neck and was relieved when his thoughts were overthrown by the sudden coldness. His breaths were still stuttering but he was copying Leo’s breaths better. “You’re doing so good Lo, couple more okay?” Logan nodded the best he could and copied Leo’s breathing until he could do it on his own.
When Logan was sure he wasn’t going to spiral again he slumped against Leo’s chest, curling up with his eyes closed. Leo hugged him tightly and he felt Finn’s hand on his cheek. Logan opened his eyes slowly with a small smile.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Finn let out a disbelieving laugh. “God Lo, don’t apologize for that.” Finn ran a calming hand through Logan’s curls and he leaned into the touch with a soft sigh.
“Baby, what happened?” Leo said just as softly as he had when Logan was panicking. “Nothing.” He said softly and backtracked when Leo and Finn pinned him with exasperated looks. “It wasn’t important, it was stupid and I overreacted.” He mumbled, turning his face so he could hide in Leo’s chest.
“If it made you react like that it wasn’t stupid at all.” Finn said softly, kissing Logan’s forehead when he turned to breathe again, suffocating slightly in the material of Leo’s sweatshirt. Logan sighed and listened to Leo’s heartbeat, a warm feeling spreading through his body as he felt the comfort of his boys. He couldn’t lose them.
With a groan, Logan sat up and crossed his legs as he picked at the sweatshirt he was wearing. Technically the sweatshirt was Finn’s but at this point, it was as much his as Finn’s.
“I’m scared.” Logan said quietly, his throat constricting with the effort he was taking to not shed any more tears. Why was it always so hard to fight tears when you were already crying. Finn rested his chin on Logan’s shoulder and Logan rested his head against Finn’s.
“I don’t- I can’t come out yet. I can’t and they all suspect something, and I can’t lose y’all.” He said and silently cursed the tears that slid down his face. “Hey, you won’t lose us, nothing you could ever do could make us go away. You’re stuck with us baby.” Finn said gently, nudging Logan’s head softly with his own.
Leo’s forehead met his own and Logan closed his eyes, soaking in the warmth he always got with both of his boys. “We understand why you don’t want to come out and it’s fine, you’re not going to lose us because of that. Vous ne pouvez pas vous débarrasser de nous aussi facilement.”
Logan let out a watery laugh and Leo bent his head slightly to kiss Logan on the nose. Finn placed a gentle kiss on his neck before standing up and giving both of them a hand to pull themselves up.
Finn led them to the couch and Logan sat between them, his head resting on Finn’s chest and his hands going through Leo’s blonde hair where he had placed his head in Logan’s lap. Logan felt a rush of relief that these were the two sweethearts he had ended up with.
With a contented sigh, he let himself fall asleep between his two favorite people in the world. His boys.