⚠️CONTENT WARNINGS ARE IN THE TAGS PLS READ⚠️
Remus Lupin has been best friends with James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Lily Evans since Year 5. He’s been friends with Sirius Black even longer. When he turned five his family moved from their old house in Merthyr Mawr, Wales to a new one in Yorkshire, England. It was nothing extravagant but enough to get by for the three of them. He was just old enough to join Alexander’s All Boys School. It was a private school that held Years 1 through 13. His family definitely couldn’t afford the tuition but his father taught history there so they got a rather hefty scholarship.
Remus had never been more excited about anything in his life. He was practically vibrating and Hope couldn’t help but laugh at her young son’s excitement. Lyall just shook his head fondly and gently reminded him that he needed to calm down so Hope could help him get ready or they’d be late. Remus pulled a distraught face before shaking himself and giving his mother a rather determined look, well as determined as a five year old could be. “Iawn, iawn.” Hope clicked her tongue and shook her head.
“Remember, cariad, no Welsh at school. Otherwise they won’t be able to understand you. Try your best to speak English.” Remus nodded vigorously. “I know, sorry. Got excited.” Hope smiled affectionately and ruffled her son’s hair who let out a distraught sound at the move. “Na, mam.” Hope tutted at the Welsh but put her hands up in surrender. “Alright, little man, I’m sorry. You’re all ready. Did you make sure to pack everything?” Remus nodded and jumped up to grab his backpack. “Backpack.” Lyall laughed and nodded. “Alright, buddy, let’s get in the car then.”
Lyall had to ask Remus to stop moving six times before he settled enough for Lyall to buckle him into the carseat. Hope kissed him on the forehead, cheek, and nose before Remus leaned away giggling. “Mam, na!” Hope chuckled and gave him one last kiss on his forehead. “I hope you have a great day at school. I can’t wait for you to tell me all about it.” Remus smiled and nodded, his small hands coming to grab her cheeks so he could smack a kiss to her cheek. Hope squeezed his hand before letting it go and waving as her boys drove away.
Remus was undoubtedly excited. That much was clear in the first five minutes of him being in Mrs. Barlowe’s class. She was glad that he was one of the excited kids. The ones that didn’t want to be there were typically the problem. Kids such as Sirius Black. Their family were very important to the school and to be quite frank they were as snobby as they were rich, which was truly saying something. She wasn’t quite sure what to expect of the young boy. Sufficient to say he was quite whiny and quite stuck up. Determined to speak only in French because apparently it made him much better than the other boys. Much smatter, apparently. At least that’s what his mother had told him.
When Remus walked in and took the seat next to him, nearly bouncing in his seat, Sirius had simply glared and stayed silent. Remus had ignored it and eagerly introduced himself. Mrs. Barlowe winced as she listened to Sirius let out a harsh breath. “Ne me parle pas.” Remus gasped and Mrs. Barlowe got ready to step between them as she had had to do between Sirius and a lot of the boys. He was a very… unfriendly sort. “I can speak another language too!” Remus squeaked. Sirius made an outraged sound and pouted. “No you can’t.” Mrs. Barlowe’s eyebrows raised as she listened to the boy finally speak English.
Remus giggled. “Course I can, silly. I can’t lie. That’s bad.” Sirius watched him pensively. “Prove it.” He demanded. Remus looked at him funny and shook his head. “Mam said I can’t. Have to speak English.” Sirius laughed at him and Remus frowned. Mrs. Barlowe sighed deeply. “You’re lying. You only know English.” Remus shook his head, his little eyebrows furrowed. “No. I speak Welsh, Mam just told me not too.” Sirius patted his head condescendingly and smiled smugly. “D’accord, petit menteur.”
Sirius went back to drawing. Rather well for a five year old, Mrs. Barlowe couldn’t help but think. Remus let out a frustrated grunt. “Na. Dwi'n siarad cymraeg. Rydych chi'n bod yn gymedrol. Dydw i ddim yn hoffi chi.” Mrs. Barlowe stifled a laugh when she saw Sirius’s perplexed expression. Suddenly his eyes narrow. “That’s not a real language. You’re making things up. Petit menteur.” Remus let out a sound startlingly like a squawk. “W-But- No. I proved it! You can’t call me a liar just because you don’t believe me!”
Gray eyes met and amber. Defiance clear in both before Sirius’s hand shot up. He hadn’t broken eye contact. Mrs. Barlowe let out a sigh and counted to five before she made her way over. Sometimes she really questions herself as to why she thought teaching a whole bunch of five year olds was a smart choice.
“Yes, Sirius.” Sirius finally broke eye contact with Remus when she reached them. “Is Welsh a real thing?” Mrs. Barlowe’s eyebrows raised. “The language? Yes.” Sirius nodded and Remus looked at him with a see? expression. Sirius huffed before giving Remus a contemplative look. Eventually, Sirius nodded firmly. “Okay, you can be my friend then. I guess we are equal.” Remus beamed at him before turning his bright smile to Mrs. Barlowe. “We’re friends.” Mrs. Barlowe gave an impressed nod. “It looks that way. Now you just have to make sure he is nice to other people too.” Remus looked between her and Sirius before nodding firmly. “I will.”
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Remus and Sirius became a THING after that day. You never really found one without the other. When you did, it meant trouble. Their teachers knew better than to sit them anywhere near each other after the first day of school. By the time they reached Year 5 they were notorious for their pranks and silent conversations. Most of them were under the impression that Remus followed Sirius around like a lost puppy but they had it completely wrong.
Sirius didn’t quite know what to do without Remus. He had changed a lot over the years. He had to unlearn a lot of what his parents had taught him about people ‘lesser’ than him. Remus had been there to help him every step of the way. Sirius was a lot more outgoing than he was and Remus was a little quieter than he used to be. Four years of having the boys at their school talk down to him took away most of the excitement that was there at the beginning.
When they got into Year 5 they met James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. The four of them bonded almost immediately when someone made a remark on Remus’s second hand book and James immediately hit the kid with his own book before telling the kid that had been a very rude thing to say. Peter had shown more of a silent support by slipping into the chair on the other side of him, the one not taken up by Sirius, and getting his own second hand book out. Sirius had immediately approved of them and it was finalized when James had mentioned something about pranking the boy back. Sirius and Remus had shared a smile that was full of hidden words and that was that.
Lily Evans moved into the house next to Remus a week after the first day of school. He had spent the week with James, Peter, and Sirius. He wanted to spend as much time as he could with his new friends and Sirius practically lived at his house so that was already expected.
Sirius had just left when someone knocked on the Lupin’s door. Remus went to open the door, assuming it was Sirius coming back for something he forgot. It was not Sirius. Instead, a girl around his age stood at the door holding a rather gross looking pie. She smiled brightly when he opened the door.
“Hello, I’m Lily Evans. My mother and I just moved in next door so I thought I’d bake something for the neighbors. I have a feeling we’ll be best friends. I’m very excited to have someone my age living so close because I didn’t have anyone at my Dad’s house that was even close to my age.” Remus liked this girl. She talked a lot and she reminded him a bit of Sirius. He took the pie from her and waved her in. “Well, Lily Evans, I am Remus Lupin. I am very excited to meet you and I think we will be very good friends.”
Lily nodded firmly. “I can predict the future so I can definitely tell you we will be friends.” Remus laughed at that and went to answer but his mouth beat him to it. “I do believe everyone should have a friend that can see the future. My name’s Hope, I’m Remus’s mother. You’re our new neighbor, right?” Lily nodded and bit her lip shyly. Remus found her sudden switch up rather amusing.
“I’m Lily. I brought a pie over.” Hope nodded and moved from her spot in the door frame to leave. “We appreciate it, dear. Let your parents know I appreciate it.” Lily winced slightly but nodded nonetheless. Remus made a mental note to tell his mum that Lily only lives with her mum.
Remus went and pulled out two forks. “Care to share some pie?” Lily scoffed. “Aren’t you supposed to eat it yourself?” Remus raised an eyebrow. “Oh, so you don’t want any pie? I can definitely eat it all but I just thought you’d want some.” Lily seemed to debate something for a moment before she shrugged and took a fork. “Alright, but you offered.”
They each got a piece of the pie and Remus tried to hide the grimace after the first bite. “Mmm.” He said rather unconvincingly as he tried to think of a way to spit the bite out without making Lily feel bad. Lilt took a bite and immediately started laughing. “Oh my god. I thought Tunie was joking when she said this tasted like death. This is so bad.” Remus shook his head. “No, it’s good.” He said weakly. Lily laughed even harder and shook her head.
“Oh, my god. Don’t lie, Remus. That’s horrid.” Remus threw his head back and joined in laughing. “It’s quite bad.” Lily nodded. “I should have mentioned I’m not the best baker.” Remus shook his head, already feeling quite fond of the girl. “It’s alright. Who’s Tunie?” Lily’s face faltered for a moment before she regained control of her smile. “That’s my sister, Petunia. She’s a few years older than me. She lives with my dad but she’s helping my mum and I unpack.”
Remus nodded. “I don’t have any siblings. I always wished I did. I’ve always wanted a sister.” Lily makes a face and shakes her head. “Trust me they aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.” Remus pursed his lips as he thought. “That’s fair. I just want someone who would listen to my music with me, I guess. Doesn’t really matter if it's a sister or brother.”
Lily made a face of approval. “What music do you listen to?” Remus hesitated. The boys all laugh at him when he mentions his love of Taylor Swift. Well, everyone except Sirius. He figures she won’t judge him too much.
“I quite enjoy Taylor Swift.” Lily claps her hands excitedly. “Remus Lupin, I love you! I knew this was going to be a great friendship. I LOVE Taylor Swift.”
And thus another friendship began.
Combining his friends proved easy. Lily had fit seamlessly into their little group of friends. She had come over one night with snacks in hopes that Remus was free. Hope had opened the door and welcomed her in but she quickly realized that Remus was in fact being tackled but three other boys. She knew of them of course but she had yet to meet them. She had stomped her way into the living room and wacked each of the boys on the head with a book she had picked up on the way in. “Move your arses, Wheel of Fortune is on.” None of the boys had questioned her and she had been welcomed into the group after that. The boys were all slightly scared of her but she figured that was a good thing.
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When Remus turned thirteen he started getting sick. Unsurprisingly, it was Sirius that first noticed it. Sirius was over at his house for their weekly Friday night movie. Sirius had been spending more time with Remus and his family and Remus was growing increasingly more worried every time he showed up with faint bruises up and down his arms.
Sirius always brushed it off but Remus had a pretty good feeling he knew how Sirius was getting them. Especially when Sirius started bringing his brother Regulus to their hangouts. Regulus more often than not had identical bruises but he wouldn’t talk about it either.
They were about halfway through Captain America when Sirius noticed Remus’s bobbing head. Remus never fell asleep during Friday night movies. Especially, when it was Marvel. When Remus’s head fell on his shoulder, he left it there and let his friend sleep through the rest of the movie. Once the end credits started rolling, he gently shook Remus until he woke up.
“Beth sy’n digwydd?” Remus slurred. He had barely managed to sit up before he slumped against Sirius again. Sirius’s eyebrows furrowed and he moved to run a hand through Remus’s hair. “English, chéri.” Remus made a faint sound before sitting up again, much slower than the first time. “Are you alright?” Sirius asked softly as he ran his hand through Remus’s hair again.
Remus sat still for a moment then turned to look back up. “Fine, just tired. Got a bit dizzy.” Sirius frowned and felt Remus’s forehead with the back of his hand. “No fever. Have you been feeling bad for long?” Remus shrugged which did nothing to quell the ever growing concern Sirius was feeling. “It’s been on and off. I guess I just over did it.” Remus murmured as he took a deep breath. “When did it start?” Sirius asked as he cupped Remus’s cheek and slid his thumb under his eye. Remus leaned into the feeling.
“I’m not sure. It’s not that bad honestly.” Sirius huffed a little before he released Remus and placed his hands in his lap. “Alright. I need you to let me know if it gets worse, okay? I mean it. None of your bothering people business. You won’t bother me.” Remus smiled softly and nodded, his hand coming up to cover his mouth as he yawned. “Okay, I promise. I am pretty tired though so I think I’m going to go to sleep. Are you staying?” Sirius shook his head slowly. “I wouldn’t want to overstay my welcome.” He murmured.
Truthfully, there is nothing he would rather do than stay at the Lupin’s. They always welcomed him with warm smiles and open arms. Nothing like the cold looks and harsh hands of his own parents.
Remus scoffed. He would never admit it but Sirius made him feel safe. He made him feel uncomfortable in the best way, his stomach always fluttered. Lily called it a crush and said there was no way someone could relate to so many Taylor Swift songs and not have a crush but Remus knew better. He was just really close to Sirius. That was all, Lily just didn’t have a bond with anyone that was like the one he had with Sirius.
“Like you could ever overstay your welcome. I’m fairly certain my mam has forgotten you’re not actually her child.” Sirius let out a laugh. He really did love Hope, she was the kindest woman he had ever met. “Only if you’re sure.” Sirius really hoped he was. Remus gave him an exasperated look before he grabbed Sirius’s hand, ignoring the tug in his chest, and pulled him up the stairs. “I am very sure. Now let your parents know and come on.”
Sirius didn’t bother telling his parents, they wouldn’t care. He sent a quick text to his brother before turning his phone off and joining Remus in his too small bed.
Remus seemed to get progressively worse after that. Bad enough that Peter, James, and Lily had all tried to breach the topic.
They were all walking to Remus’s house after school one day, the walk only took about ten minutes but Remus had had to stop twice to catch his breath. He was looking progressively more annoyed by the fact but all of his friends were feeling rather worried.
Eventually, when he had to stop a third time within about twenty feet of his house, Sirius had stood in front of him and waved their friends along with the promise that they would catch up in a moment. There were a few shared looks but no one protested.
Remus sat down rather abruptly and Sirius kneeled in front of him, bracing his hands on Remus’s thighs. “Alright, chéri, what’s going on?” Remus continued breathing heavily and rested his head on Sirius’s chest, a wave of relief washing over him when Sirius brought one hand to hold the back of his head. It made him feel safe which was hard with the anxiety running through him. His chest burned and he was fighting a strange floaty feeling and everything was just off.
“Can’t,” He paused again to take another deep breath. “Can’t breathe very well.” He said softly. A shiver ran down Sirius’s spine and his grip tightened on Remus’s thigh. “What do you mean?” Sirius asked softly. His heart was racing and he was dreading the answer.
He didn’t get one because all Remus was able to get out was a small whisper, dizzy, before he slumped completely onto Sirius.
Sirius was screaming for Hope in seconds.
They found out that day that Remus had a very severe form of Anemia.
Hope had sat them down that night while Remus was sleeping and told them that Remus may have a little trouble keeping up when they were doing outdoor activities and even indoor ones. She told them that he’ll probably get dizzy more often and he’ll get tired much easier than before. She told them that he’ll need to be careful from now on but he’ll be fine. She had to explain that it’s something he’ll have to live with and there isn’t a solid cure yet.
Lily, James, and Peter had lots of questions. She was glad to answer them and quite honestly relieved that it hadn’t sent any of them running. She hadn’t expected it would but she was glad to have the proof anyway. Sirius sat silently through the whole ordeal and stared down at his hands. She didn’t miss the way James pressed against his side and she couldn’t help but thank the gods for the friend group her son had found. Not only were they wonderful to her son but they were wonderful to each other. It was rare to find that, especially to find it so young. She didn’t have a doubt that they were going to truly be friends forever.
After she had taken everyone home she got back to hers and smiled at Sirius. He looked tired and his eyes were red rimmed. He had sat in the hospital with them all day and she didn’t doubt he was tired. “I just wanted to make sure that it was okay for me to stay before I went to Re’s room.” He said quietly. She sat down next to him on the couch and held out an arm. He immediately collapsed into her side. She pressed a kiss to his hair and rested her cheek on his head.
“Course it’s okay, cariad.” She felt more than heard Sirius’s breath hitch. She wrapped her arm around him more firmly and didn’t mention anything when she felt the warm tears on her shirt. “He’s going to be okay, right?” Hope nodded and ran her hand up and down his arm comfortingly. “I promise he will. This isn’t something that is going to make his life miserable, Sirius. He’s going to be okay and he’ll be able to do the things he used to. He just has to be a bit more cautious now. He’s going to be just fine.” Sirius nodded and they sat in silence for a while, both of them basking in comfort.
Eventually, Sirius pulled away and wiped his eyes. He gave Hope a watery smile and hugged her. Hope pulled away and placed one last kiss on his forehead. “I hope you know that we love you so much Sirius. Not just because you’re such a great friend to Re. We love you because you are such a brilliant young man. We’re so proud of you and how much you’ve grown. We will always be here for you just as much as we are for Remus. That means you can tell us anything.” Hope looked at him firmly and Sirius couldn’t tell if he should feel dread or relief. She must know, or at least she knows something. “We want nothing more for you boys to be happy and safe. I want you to always remember that.”
Sirius would remember that talk for years to come.
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When Remus turned fourteen things started to make sense. It took about two months to really come to terms with the fact that he was gay. The fact that he liked guys. It only took a week to realize he liked Sirius.
He realized that it wasn't just his and Sirius’s bond that made him stare. It wasn’t their friendship that made his stomach a jumbled mess. Butterflies, as Lily put it. He realized that friends don’t look at friends the way he looks at Sirius. He and Lily listened to a lot of Taylor Swift while he tried to figure it out.
You Belong With Me and Everything Has Changed was played a lot.
Lily was brilliant and he loved her a lot. They weren’t as close as he and Sirius were but she was the closest thing he’s ever had to having a sister. She’s not afraid to take the piss and she’s blunt enough that it makes Remus consider just about everything she says seriously.
Telling the boys wasn’t hard. He wasn’t scared that they would leave him. They were all way too far into this friendship to let Remus being gay ruin it. He was a little more nervous to tell Sirius but it had nothing to do with being accepted or not and everything to do with the fact that he liked Sirius a lot.
The boys all hugged him tightly when he told them. They reminded him that they loved him no matter what and that there was nothing that he could do to make them love him any less. Remus was once again struck with the thought that he had the best friends he could ever imagine. There was nothing about any of them that he would change. He loved them so much.
He loved how James was so unapologetically himself. He loved how strongly James loved people and how loyal he stayed when he decided that you had deserved his loyalty. He loved how James wasn’t afraid to tell people off if they were bothering any of his friends. He loved how James always made sure he was feeling good and drinking enough water and making sure Remus never pushed himself too hard. He loved James a lot.
He loved how Peter was always there to listen to him if he needed someone to talk to. He loved how Peter wasn’t afraid to smack them if they were being stupid. He loved that Peter was always willing to talk about books with him and never once judged him or called him a bookworm. He loved that Peter was always ready for a game of chess and never made fun of Remus when he lost. He loved everything about Peter.
He loved how Sirius never let him feel alone. He loved how physically affectionate Sirius was and how he was always always in Remus’s corner. He loved how Sirius would let him braid his hair when he was feeling anxious or shaky. He loved how Sirius would always keep an eye out for him when they were doing something as a group. He loved how Sirius would look at him when something funny happened or when he made a joke. He loved how much Sirius loved Hope and Lyall. He loved Sirius.
Remus spent the next five years silently pining. His friends would send him sad glances or worried looks every time Sirius voiced his most recent crush. Remus would just wave them off. Sure, it hurt but he knew there was something there. He just had to be patient. And if nothing ever came from it…
Well at least he still had Sirius in some way.
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Everything came to a head on the day of Sirius’s 19th birthday. They had a surprise party ready at Remus’s house. There was Remus, Lily, James, and Peter, but there were also a few of their other friends who had managed to wiggle their way into their friend group through the years: Marlene, Dorcas, Mary, Alice, and Frank.
They had planned the party for 5 pm. They had told Sirius they were going to have a study group. He had complained about having a study group on his birthday but Remus and Lily had just rolled their eyes and told him to grin and bear it. They had put on a rather convincing performance.
Which is why they were all concerned when 5 rolled around and Sirius wasn’t there. 6, 7, and 8 came and passed without a word. Eventually, it was only the original four left. Hope was sitting in the kitchen with them as Remus paced and the others sat at the table. James had eventually made him sit down when his breathing started getting too short.
It wasn’t until 10 that James got a message from Regulus saying that Sirius was sorry but he couldn’t make it. It left everyone with an uneasy feeling but they started filtering out one at a time until it was just Hope and Remus left. Remus stayed sitting at the table with his eyes fixed on the front door. Hope sighed and kissed his head as she walked to her room. She didn’t think it was worth it to try and fight with him to get him in bed. He wasn’t going to when he was worried about Sirius.
So, Remus stayed there. He sat silently staring at the door and listened to the rain that had started to fall a little after 11. Remus’s eyes were trying their best to close but he just kept pinching himself until he wasn’t on the brink of sleep.
It was a quarter til 1 when there was a knock at the door. Remus was up in seconds, pushing past the dizziness and yanking the door open.
Sirius was standing there shaking like a leaf on the porch. He was drenched from the rain and his teeth were chattering. His lip was busted and his eye was swollen. He had a dark red patch on his cheek that Remus had no doubt would bruise. He was holding his arm weird and Remus could tell his breath was hitching. Remus felt his own eyes start watering.
“Oh, fy nghariad. Come here.” He whispered and he held his arms out to his friend. Sirius was in his arms sobbing in seconds. Remus walked them backwards slowly so he could pull him into the room and shut the door. Sirius was leaning completely on Remus and Remus sat them both gently on the floor, being mindful of Sirius’s arm.
Remus wrapped his arms around him and pulled Sirius closer to his chest. Sirius hid his face in Remus’s neck while Remus rocked them slowly. “They w-wouldn’t leave me a- I couldn’t- S-She- Remus.” Remus shushed him softly and kissed his temple. “You’re okay, fy nghariad. You can explain later but right now you’re here, you’re safe. I promise. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Love you too much for that.”
When Sirius had calmed down enough to stop choking on his sobs, Remus led him quietly to the bathroom. He helped Sirius sit on the counter and opened the cabinet next to him. He pulled out the first aid kit and some bruise balm that he bought specifically for Sirius. He wanted to be prepared if the time ever did come. He was glad he did.
He got everything together and grabbed a wipe and ran it under warm water before pressing it gently to Sirius’s lip. He looked at Sirius apologetically when he winced at the pressure. “I know, I’m sorry.” He handed Sirius the wipe and made sure he was applying pressure before he moved on to the bruise balm. He stepped between Sirius’s legs and rubbed his thumb gently under his slightly swollen eye. When he finished he leaned forward to rest their foreheads together.
He lets his eyes fall closed and listens to the soft sigh that Sirius lets out. “Maddeu i mi.” Remus said weakly before moving back slightly and lowering Sirius’s hand so he could grab both of them. “You need help, fy nghariad.” Sirius took a shuddering breath but he didn’t interrupt. Remus took that as a good sign. “You can’t just keep going back, Siri. This is bad. You can stay here o-or with James. Just somewhere safe.” Remus was a little embarrassed to say there were tears on his face now. He loved Sirius so much and he didn’t deserve anything this life gave him.
Sirius stares at him for a moment as if he can’t figure something out. He brings his hand up to Remus’s face slowly and wipes the tears that are falling. Remus leans into the touch and closes his eyes. He kisses Sirius’s palm lightly and Sirius just watches him.
Sirius doesn’t quite understand how Remus can love him and care for him so freely. He doesn’t ever want anything from him. He doesn’t expect anything from Sirius. Not like his mother and father do. Not like all the people at school. He doesn’t have to be fake with Remus because Remus never gave him a chance to. He loved him when he was a brat of a child. He loved him when he was trying to sort through what he was taught growing up. He loved him when Sirius felt like no one ever did.
He’s always loved Remus. It’s never been a question. Always and forever, unconditionally.
He loves how forgiving Remus is, how understanding. He loves how Remus’s eyes light up when he talks about something he’s excited about. He loves how Remus snorts when he finds something really funny. He loves the embarrassed look he gets after. He loves how Remus always looks at him softly but never underestimates him. He loves how Remus takes Sirius’s need for physical affection so seriously, never once pushing him away. He loves how Remus looks at him when they’re in a crowded room. He loves how Remus always smiles when he sees Sirius as if he can’t help it.
He loves everything about Remus. He just loves Remus.
And, oh. Oh. He loves Remus.
He thinks he may remember this moment forever because how could he have not noticed that he was in love with his best friend. He’s known him for fifteen years and who knows how long he’s been in love with him. It could have been-
“Sirius?” Remus asked softly, and god has he always sounded so soft? “Siri, are you okay?” Somehow they've made their way to Remus's bedroom. Remus bends down slightly to catch Sirius’s eye. Sirius doesn’t think he really has to try. He doesn’t know how to look at anything other than Remus. Remus, who smiles uncertainty at him. “You with me, fy nghariad?” Sirius nods, unblinking. He let's Remus guide them to the bed until they're both laying down facing one another.
“What does that mean?” Sirius asked, his voice trembles slightly and he hates himself for it when Remus frowns. “That’s not important. You left for a moment, where’d you go?” He questions as he runs his fingers through Sirius’s rain matted hair. Sirius leans into the touch and feels his cheeks head when Remus smiles fondly at him. “Just had a bit of a revelation?” Remus huffs a laugh. “Oh, really?” His face falls into something more serious. “About leaving?”
Sirius looks down for a second before meeting his eyes again. “I don’t know yet.” Remus nods at that and leans into Sirius again. Sirius gladly welcomes the embrace and pressed a kiss to Remus’s temple when Remus rests his head on his chest. “I love you.” He says tenderly. Remus smiles happily and squeezes his hand a little. “Love you too, S.”
It’s not as hard as Sirius would have thought it to be when he shakes his head. “Non, je t'aime. Tu es plus que mon meilleur ami Remus, tu es tout pour moi.” Remus is watching him closely, there’s a furrow between his eyebrows that Sirius finds endearing. “English, fy nghariad.” Sirius chuckles. “Hypocrite. I love you,” He raises his hand to cup Remus’s cheek. He can tell Remus is catching on because he’s gone deathly still but his eyes are still soft. “You’re more than my best friend, Re. You’re everything to me.” Sirius lets his gaze fall to Remus’s lips as he says the next word. “Everything.”
There’s a moment of silence but Sirius doesn’t freak out. He’s not nervous. He thinks he should be but he isn’t. “Holy fuck,” Remus says softly and Sirius can’t help but let out a startled laugh. An affectionate smile taking over his freckled face. “It took you long enough, huh?” Sirius lets out a wet laugh and pushes his shoulder gently. Remus only moves closer. “I’ve loved you since I was fourteen.”
Sirius didn’t think it was possible to love him anymore. A comfortable silence settles over them. “What does fy nghariad.” Normally Remus would laugh at his terrible pronunciation but he just runs his hand down Sirius’s neck and hides his smile in the pillow. His voice is slightly muffled when he speaks.
