Aside from Hephaistion, who did Alexander consider to be his friends? Is there anyone who’s been noted as someone he was close to or fond of? Were they around his age, or older, like someone like Kleitus?
Who Were Alexander's Friends?
No doubt Alexander’s circle changed across his lifespan. Hephaistion appears to have been a constant, and a few others, but we get mention of new friends and acquaintances now and then, also fallings-out, or deaths.
First, we should note that each Macedonian prince was accorded an “official circle” called syntrophoi (σύντροφοι), selected by the king. It means “those who were raised together with,” e.g., schooled with Alexander. His cousin Amyntas would have had the same. (I’m thinking Arrhidaios probably didn’t, but he might have, depending on his actual mental capacity, which isn’t clear.)
If we can’t be 100% certain who were Alexander’s syntrophoi, we can make a few guesses. Perdikkas, Leonnatos, Marsyas, Hektor, Lysimachos, and Seleukos all seem likely—maybe even Kassandros (although he was younger). Probably Hephaistion, although one of the places Sabine Müller and I disagree is when he met Hephaistion. She thinks they met only as adults, whereas I think Hephaistion was a syntrophos. (I won’t go into why; I simply note it.)
The ruins of the palaistra near Mieza turns out to be much bigger than we expected, suggesting there were a lot of boys sent to study with Alexander—more by far than I included in the novel. But I’d already written Dancing with the Lion by the time that excavation occurred, and I’m not sure I’d change it even if I had known, as 100 kids is a lot to keep track of! I did note the size in the Historical Note, however, at the end of book 2. Obviously if there were even 50 (never mind the possible 100), they weren’t all close to Alexander. Probably most weren’t.
Some not syntrophoi, but important to his circle, include Krateros, Philotas, Nikanor, and Ptolemy, all of whom would have been about 10-ish years older, and may have been syntrophoi (at least some) of Alexander’s older cousin Amyntas. Erigyios, Laomedon, Harpalos, and Nearchos, despite my making them Alexandros’s age in the novels, were all almost certainly older, and perhaps by some years (more than Ptolemy and Krateros). Kleitos would have been like a big brother to Alexander, too, but not a syntrophos.
Now, OF those assigned syntrophoi, who were his actual friends? Good question. Keep in mind this is just my own opinion, based on my sense of things from the sources.
In addition to Hephaistion, he seems to have been genuinely fond of Hektor (Parmenion’s youngest). I think he also liked Lysimachos, and Perdikkas. Despite the hatchet-job Ptolemy (et al.) did on Perdikkas’s reputation in the Successor Wars, after Hephaistion’s death, Perdikkas occupied the highest position still at court (with Krateros his most trusted person away from court). I’m not sure if he were actual friends with Krateros, or simply recognized him as an excellent general, Parmenion’s natural successor. If they were close at some point, I can’t imagine the friction with Hephaistion made it easy to continue. For that matter, I’m not sure Hephaistion and Krateros weren’t originally at least friendly, if not friends. The tension seems to bloom late in the campaign after Hephaistion’s rise. Another possible friend was Marsyas, who had more of a literary career than a military one. But like Ptolemy later, he could have exaggerated his importance to Alexander for prestige.
There were also people in-and-out of his personal circle who weren’t Macedonians, or soldiers. We hear less about them. And we should remember that people’s personal circle does change across time. I think most people do probably count only a handful of people as consistent, long-term friends. That’s what makes them special.
Alexander’s unique place as crown prince, then king…then simply the most powerful person in his world, would have complicated enormously who he could call a friend.
It’s why I find his attachment to Hephaistion so fascinating—a unicorn—as it seems to have been both sincere and to have weathered his rise to power. It’s also why I think his own death followed so quickly on Hephaistion’s. It’s lonely at the top. A cliché, but very true. He got lucky enough to have a trusted partner who he brought along from the beginning. When that partner died, he was rudderless. Even if he trusted Perdikkas…Perdikkas wasn’t Hephaistion. Nobody was. That emotional devastation was heightened so much more simply due to his position.
