Tickles (DaiHaru)
Fandom: Fugou Keiji Balance Unlimited Characters: Daisuke Kambe | Haru Kato Lee!Haru Ler!Daisuke Summary: Haru is in a bad mood, and Daisuke wants to solve the problem. Guided by logic, statistics, and his artificial butler, he puts into practice an unconventional method to relieve his boyfriend's stress, with surprisingly effective results. [Read also on Ao3]
(The art doesn´t belong to me, I found it on Pinterest)
Haru sank further into the sofa, crossing his arms and letting out a heavy sigh that seemed to carry the weight of the entire Modern Crimes Department. His feet were resting on Daisuke's lap, who was trying to read a report, but his boyfriend's grumpy expression caught his attention more than anything else in that document.
The apartment was silent, except for the TV which was showing some generic police show that Haru insisted on watching to relax, which, in Daisuke's opinion, made absolutely no sense.
Daisuke blinked, studying his face. "Haru? Your expression indicates 87% irritation and 13% tiredness" He said, with the naturalness of someone simply citing market data.
"Huh?" Haru turned his face away grumpily. "You don't need analysis and percentages to realize that, Daisuke. I'm just tired"
Daisuke hesitated. He wasn't good with this sort of thing. Emotional problems didn't come with an instruction manual. But, luckily, he had a butler who came. So, he discreetly touched the small device attached to his ear. "HEUSC, suggestions on how to help Haru relax?"
The answer came without delay, with the same impeccable politeness as always.
"Certainly, Mr. Daisuke. Based on behavioral research and common patterns of intimacy between couples, an effective suggestion would be to apply light tactile stimuli, known as tickling. It's a recreational activity, low-risk, and potentially beneficial for the partner's mood."
Daisuke blinked. Twice. "Tickles?"
"Exactly, Sir."
"Is that scientific?"
"There are several studies—"
"Okay, okay, enough. I don't want to hear academic papers about tickling"
But the idea lingered. He looked at Haru again. The messy hair, the furrowed brow, and that "I want to be left alone" posture, exactly the kind of posture that, in Daisuke's peculiar mind, seemed like an invitation for intervention. He noticed something else: Haru's feet were right there, conveniently exposed and comfortably resting in his lap.
Haru noticed his gaze and furrowed his brow further. "What? Why are you staring at me like that?"
"I'm mentally analyzing a possibility"
"That's never good..."
Without saying anything more, Daisuke put the report aside and, with the indecent calm of someone about to commit a crime, gently slid his finger along the sole of Haru's foot. And the result was immediate.
"H-Hey!" Haru almost kicked him, grabbing the cushion beside him. "What do you think you're doing?!"
"Testing a hypothesis," He replied, completely calm, while repeating the movement. "HEUSC said this might improve your mood"
"A-Are you following your robot butler's advice on how to deal with me?"
"He's a highly reliable system"
"Daisuke!"
Daisuke did it again, this time using more fingers, exploring the entire sole of his foot. Haru squirmed and bit his lip to keep from laughing, but failed miserably when a sound escaped. "Nghh! S-Stohohohohohop it!"
"Your resistance is admirable, Haru" Daisuke observed with a slight smile. "But statistically useless"
"I'm going to kill you...!" Haru tried to pull his legs back, but Daisuke held them gently, without hurting him, just enough to prevent his escape.
"Your expression has changed" He commented, satisfied. "You seem less tense"
"That's because you're torturing me, you lunatic millionaire!" Haru retorted, half laughing, half indignant.
Daisuke tilted his head. "Torturing? I'd say it's just an experimental therapeutic intervention"
"T-That's not therapy! It's-no, no! Not there! Hahahahahahahahaha!" A quick attack on his toes elicited a genuine laugh from Haru, loud, spontaneous, and completely involuntary. Daisuke watched him with an expression that was almost gentle, as if he were watching a rare sunset.
When Haru finally managed to pull his feet back, panting and flushed, he threw a pillow at Daisuke. "You... you're unbearable!"
"But your mood has improved" Daisuke observed. "HEUSC was right"
Haru covered his face with his hands, still smiling. "I can't believe I'm dating this"
Daisuke simply approached, leaning in to touch his shoulder. "Haru, if you're tired, I can spend the rest of the night taking care of you"
Haru looked away, still blushing. "Just don't try to tickle me again"
"No promises" Daisuke replied, with that provocative and unreadable smile.
Haru sighed, but this time, without any bad mood, hugging the pillow again as if it were an anti-Kambe shield.
Daisuke, for his part, seemed too thoughtful. Which was never a good sign.
Haru quickly noticed the analytical gaze fixed on him. "What is it now?" He asked, suspiciously. "Why are you looking at me like I'm an experiment?"
"Haru," Daisuke said calmly, crossing his hands in his lap. "The intervention's effectiveness exceeded expectations"
"Intervention... Daisuke, speak like a normal person, please"
"The tickling worked"
"I noticed!" Haru protested. "And it's not going to happen again. I'm not a laughter laboratory for you to test on"
Daisuke frowned slightly, as if he'd heard a challenge, not a refusal. "HEUSC," He called, this time without even trying to disguise it. "Are there other points on the human body with a high probability of generating similar reactions?"
"Certainly, Mr. Daisuke. Neck, armpits, ribs, stomach, waist, thighs, knees, tend to be especially sensitive—"
"Enough!" Haru interrupted, covering his ears. "Don't finish! Don't give him ideas, HEUSC!"
"As you wish, Sir Haru."
Daisuke touched his chin, clearly processing the information nonetheless.
Haru's eyes widened. "Daisuke... no"
"I'm just considering," He said with an almost offensive serenity. "the therapeutic potential"
"No...!"
"Haru, you smiled. That's important"
The silence that followed was short, broken by an almost imperceptible movement of Daisuke leaning to the side, bringing his hand closer to Haru's waist.
Haru's eyes widened. "D-Don't even think about it!" He said, trying to move away.
Daisuke not only thought it, but acted on it. With the precision of an expert, he leaned in and dragged two fingers along Haru's waist, pressing lightly, just a test, as he would say.
The result was instantaneous. Haru squirmed, trying to push the hand away while laughing involuntarily. "Hahahahahaha! No!"
Daisuke observed with satisfaction. "Interesting. Faster reaction than on the feet"
"This isn't a report, it's my body!"
Haru tried to stand up, but Daisuke followed him with devilish calm, sliding his hand to his ribs, another point on the list he clearly memorized.
"Hahahahahahahaha! Daisuke, please—!"
"The emotional response is quite intense" He commented, while Haru practically threw himself back on the sofa to escape. "I didn't imagine you were so sensitive"
"YOU ARE UNBEARABLE!"
Daisuke smiled, a rare, almost childlike smile, he couldn't deny he was enjoying teasing his boyfriend. "That's debatable"
He slid his hand down Haru's waist again, but Haru, desperate, grabbed his wrist, laughing, panting, red from his forehead to his neck. "Enough, enoughahahahaha! I give up!" Haru pleaded. "I'll fall off the couch if you keep going!"
Daisuke finally stopped, leaning back with an indecent elegance for someone who had just committed a tickle attack.
Haru leaned back on the couch, catching his breath, throwing the pillow over his face to hide his embarrassment. "I can't believe it" He muttered. "You actually heard the HEUSC!"
"It worked again" Daisuke said, satisfied. "The irritation rate on your face decreased by 63%"
Haru sighed loudly, pulling the pillow down just enough to look Daisuke in a death glare. "You're not going to repeat that!"
Daisuke raised an eyebrow. "Promising that would be... statistically improbable"
"DAISUKE!"
He smiled, that slight, small smile, almost impossible to see, but which always appeared only for Haru. "But, if you want, I can simply stay here, without any more tests"
Haru took a deep breath, finally letting out a tired smile. "That's fine"
Daisuke approached, putting his arm around Haru's shoulder. Haru leaned in, still suspicious, still alert.
"And... thank you.." Haru murmured, almost inaudibly.
Daisuke turned his face away. "No need to thank me"
"Yes, I need it. Because in your strange way you tried to help me"
Daisuke hesitated. "If it was useful, I can continue searching for effective methods"
Haru opened one eye alertly again. "Just avoid the 'effective methods' for today, okay?"
Daisuke gave a small nod. "That's all for today"
Haru narrowed her eyes. "I'm going to regret this, right?"
"Yes, the probability is very high"











