“Touch me and it will be the last thing you ever do."
Fandom: One Piece (Live Action)
Takes place at the end of S2, E5
I've only ever watched the live action version, I'm sorry T.T
Word Count: 2379
Ler!Sanji and Nami, Lee!Zoro
Summary: Zoro claims he killed the dinosaur. Sanji disagrees.
Sanji placed down the newest addition to the table, yet another T-Rex meal. The rest of the crew were talking about their newest adventure that had taken place, all sitting around the hanging table.
“This is the best dinosaur I’ve ever tasted!” Luffy said with his mouth stuffed with food.
“Have you tasted dinosaur before?” Nami asked through a laugh.
“No. But I don’t think it can taste better than this!” he replied happily.
“The real challenge was finding a pan big enough.” Sanji sat down next to Zoro, who paid him no mind, as usual.
“I think we earned a good meal.” Usopp sounded like he was struggling to talk, and he couldn’t be blamed. After receiving a nasty beating from Miss Valentine, the poor man’s face was swollen and bruised.
“That’s right!” Luffy raised his glass to encourage a toast. Sanji heard Zoro sigh next to him as he grabbed his beer. Everyone else held up their own drinks as Luffy continued, “Alright everyone.”
“To the hero of Little Garden.” Zoro smirked, though his words were genuine. “To Usopp.”
A grin slowly formed on Usopp’s face as the crew cried out, “To Usopp!”
The toast was well deserved—he’d saved Luffy from Miss Goldenweek and had freed Nami, Zoro, and Vivi from becoming Mr. 3’s wax art piece all on his own. As fearful as the man may be, Sanji had to admit, he was brave, and therefore admirable.
“Aren’t you gonna tell a story?” Zoro asked. Sanji had a feeling that Zoro didn’t really want to hear one of Usopp’s exaggerated stories, but just wanted some entertainment and for Usopp to get to entertain himself.
Usopp put down the rag he’d been holding to his head. “Ah, I can’t.” There was a pause, one of which was full of the crew giving him looks that screamed ‘really?’. Usopp didn’t last long before he began his story.
“Okay so there I was. Me alone, surrounded by six assassins.”
“Uh, six?” Nami asked, unbelieving.
“Maybe there was eight, they were moving pretty fast. You saw it, right, Vivi?”
“Uh…” Everyone looked towards the blue haired girl for confirmation. “It was too hard to count,” was what she settled on.
“You know, Vivi, I did defeat two Baroque Works agents myself,” Sanji spoke up.
“Which two?” Zoro asked as he began to bandage up his calf.
“Miss Friday and Mr. 13.”
“Wow. What were they like?” Luffy asked, the genuine and familiar curiosity ever so present in his voice.
“I mean, they were, uh…” Sanji trailed off. How was he supposed to say that they were basically a battle-trained otter riding an overgrown vulture? “They were, um…”
“They’re very dangerous opponents.” Vivi saved him just in time. He made himself a mental note to make her a dish of her choice later.
“Yes. Thank you, Vivi.”
“I think taking down a dinosaur is worth ten Baroque Works agents,” Zoro said.
“You mean the dinosaur I killed?” Sanji countered.
“In your dreams, cook.”
“I mean, I did break his neck.”
“Yeah, after I stabbed him in the heart.”
“That never happened!” Sanji’s voice rose slightly in pitch in exasperation. Yes, maybe Zoro sliced the dinosaur’s belly, but that was after Sanji broke its neck.
“Yes it did. Maybe you need some glasses.” Zoro hadn’t even looked up from his bandage.
“I think you need glasses. You didn’t kill anything.”
“Scratch that. You’re not blind. Just delusional.” The swordsman’s tone was so dull that Sanji often couldn’t tell if the banter was playful or actually malicious.
Sanji fumbled for a response, settling for a simple, “You’re delusional.”
Zoro smirked slightly. “What? No more witty remarks?”
“Shut up,” Sanji mumbled, sipping his wine. Zoro huffed out a chuckle and Sanji really, really wanted to wipe that look off of his face.
Apparently Nami did too, because she spoke up. “What was that you said when we were in those wax restraints, Zoro?”
Zoro stiffened, the smirk gone. He glared at Nami. “Not. A. Word. I was under a spell. Nothing I said was important.”
“Oh, no, it was definitely important. I think it was something along the lines of… ‘I’m ticklish’?” Nami leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, a look of smug delight overcoming her face as she dropped the bomb that shook the ship.
Everyone had fallen silent and turned to stare at Zoro, who was still glaring at Nami like she had just destroyed his swords. He was so still that Sanji was sure he wasn’t even breathing.
“The great Roronoa Zoro is ticklish?” Sanji asked, a grin spreading across his face. “Aren’t you feared across the seas?”
“Touch me and it will be the last thing you ever do,” Zoro said, his glare now directed at Sanji.
“Oh, will it now? Don’t tell me you’re scared of a little tickling.”
“I’m not scared,” he responded curtly.
“Oh, wow. Zoro looks like he wants to kill you, Sanji,” Luffy said with a grin.
“He most definitely does. Tell you what. You admit that I was the one who killed the dinosaur, and I’ll leave you alone,” Sanji said to Zoro as he leaned forward.
But the second he moved, Zoro’s sword was out as quick as the light and against Sanji’s throat. Sanji looked down at the silver, seeing his own reflection as it smirked back at him.
“Nice blade,” he commented, looking back up at Zoro.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Vivi whisper something to Luffy with a smile on her face. Luffy pulled away and mouthed the word ‘oh’ before he looked to Zoro. Suddenly, Luffy’s arms extended and wrapped around Zoro’s swords. Before the green haired man could even realize it, the weapons were ripped from his hand and sheath, leaving him defenseless.
The look of shock and betrayal on Zoro’s face was hilarious, and Sanji had to stop himself from bursting into laughter. Usopp had less self control, as he started snickering into the back of his hand.
“Last chance,” Sanji teased as he stood up. Zoro had a priceless look of anger, fear, and threat on his face as he shrunk himself into the corner he was sat in.
“Get him, Sanji!” Usopp cheered with a grin.
“With pleasure.” With that, Sanji reached to find a tickle spot on the swordsman. But he grabbed Sanji’s wrists to prevent his attempt, and the two were now fighting each other for control, though both for different reasons. Zoro to protect himself, and Sanji to hear the giggles he’d been told about for himself.
“I will cut off your hands!” Zoro threatened.
“With what swords? The ones Luffy took?”
“Sorry, Zoro, but Vivi was right. I can’t have my crew using weapons on each other.” Luffy grinned. Vivi offered him a fistbump, which he happily returned enthusiastically.
“Luffy, I will kill y—” Zoro was cut in by a sharp intake of breath.
Sanji had managed to rip his wrists free and was now skittering his fingers up and down Zoro’s torso. His face was stone, almost too calm as he struggled. But Sanji could feel that his strength had lessened now that he was actively being tickled.
“Not as strong with the tickling, are you?”
“Shut up,” came Zoro’s strained response. A smile was slowly starting to grow on his face and his struggling became more panicked. The man was actively squirming at this point.
“C’mon, man, you can’t hold on forever!” Sanji said as he slowly started to gain the upper hand. “Nami! Where did you say he was ticklish?”
“Uh, he said it tickled when I brushed my foot against his calf.”
“Ah, ticklish legs?” Sanji quickly refocused his efforts and started squeezing up and down Zoro’s thighs.
A strangled “AH—!” escaped the thrashing man as laughter finally began to escape him.
Sanji grinned victoriously. “Ah, there we are!”
He pushed Zoro’s legs down and tried his calves, which made the swordman’s legs kick out as the volume of his laughter grew. This was priceless. Roronoa Zoro, the man who people all over the world aimed to kill and defeat, was now nothing but a giggling, squirming pile of a person. That was another thing—he was giggling. Actually giggling. And it was adorable.
Zoro was trying to grab at Sanji and kick him off, but the cook had shifted so he was sitting on his ankles. He’d resorted to leaning back against the wall, his arms over his eyes as his body and legs tried to jerk free from Sanji’s not-so-torturous torture. Curses and threats fell from his lips, though none of them sounded very threatening, not to mention coherent.
“I can’t believe you’re ticklish, Zoro!” Luffy said.
Zoro said something that sounded suspiciously like a death threat aimed at everyone in the room.
“Don’t worry about him. I don’t think he’s very dangerous right now,” Nami said with a smile. She was obviously very proud of herself for starting this whole thing.
“I will say, I am a bit worried about what will happen to Sanji once Zoro recovers,” Vivi said.
“Oh, don’t worry about me. I’ll just tickle him some more if he tries anything,” Sanji said with a grin, still squeezing up and down Zoro’s calves and thighs. He’d started bucking to try and get the chef off. “Woah, there. We’ve got a thrasher.”
“Yeah, I can’t just sit here and watch.” Nami got up from her chair and went over to Zoro.
“Gehehehehehehe awahahahahahay frohohohohom me!” The ticklish man tried to threaten her. But his movements were much less refined and far more sloppy, so it was much easier for her than it was for Sanji to tickle him. She aimed for his sides, scribbling up and down them.
His laughter grew louder and more breathy, his arms now weakly trying to push her away. Sanji watched with a grin as his friend—friend? …Yeah, friend—was reduced to giggles. It was an even better sight considering the warrior rarely showed any emotion. It was always a stone face with the occasional smirk when he bantered or a look of rage in battle. But this? This was a side of Zoro that Sanji had never seen before, though he definitely wasn’t opposed to seeing it more often.
Zoro, on the other hand… Yeah, he looked like he wanted to die. After he killed everyone else, of course. Speaking of, he finally got one of his legs free and started kicking at Sanji.
“Woah!” He tried to grab his foot, but it was proving difficult. “A little help here??”
“Dohohohoho not!” Zoro warned. Or, at least, he tried to.
Vivi got up and helped wrangle the flailing leg, which was promptly up back under Sanji and tickled to oblivion.
“Thank you, V.” Sanji shot her a grin.
“Okay, maybe ease up a bit,” Usopp said after a minute or two, though he was grinning just as much as everyone else was. Zoro nodded in agreement, his laughter still the most prominent sound in the room.
“Alright, alright. I guess we could give him some mercy,” Sanji grinned and finally stopped his squeezing. Nami stopped as well, though she gave him one last poke before she did.
Zoro laid his arms over his eyes again, taking in heaving breaths and swallowing whatever giggles were left over. There were still a few that slipped out, but he was obviously fighting to control them.
“You alright there?” Sanji asked teasingly.
“...Enjoy your hands while you still have them.” Zoro’s voice was tired and a tad bit more hoarse than usual.
“And why is that?”
“Becasue I’m cutting them off the moment I get my swords bACK—!” His words were cut off in a yelp when Sanji squeezed his thighs again to cut him off. “...Don’t do that.”
“What, are you embarrassed?” Sanji teased, gently running his nails down Zoro’s calves. His face scrunched up and he covered his mouth to try and hide the few giggles that escaped.
“I’m gohohohoing— to kihihil you!”
“Admit I killed the dinosaur.”
“Still about the dinosaur??”
“C’moooonnnn.” Sanji squeezed Zoro’s thighs.
“I— oKAY! You killed the damn dinosaur!”
Sanji laughed and got off of Zoro’s ankles, who pulled his legs closer and ran his hands over them, likely in an attempt to soothe the remaining ticklishness.
“You do know we’re never letting you forget this,” Sanji said with a shit-eating grin.
“Oh, I really don’t think he’s forgetting it anytime soon,” Vivi added through a giggle of her own.
“Luffy, you might want to start looking for a new cook,” Zoro grumbled.
“Why?”
“Because our current one is going to be dead by sunrise.”
“What??” Luffy sounded genuinely worried.
“He’s joking, Luffy,” Nami promised, and it was followed by a very quick “No I’m not” from Zoro.
“I hope he is. I don’t know what I’d do without someone to make us food.”
Sanji very slowly turned to face him. “Is that all I am to you?”
Luffy just gave him a look that said ‘what?’.
The cook huffed. “I’m being used.”
“Dramatic,” Zoro mumbled, clearly still a bit salty. In response, Sanji just reached back over and squeezed his thigh again. Zoro let out a sound that was between a snort and a gasp, sharply kicking Sanji away.
“If you don’t stop doing that—”
“Oh, no, I’m never stopping with that,” Sanji said truthfully. He was so gonna use this in the future to either shut him up or bring down his ego.
Zoro stood up, snatching his swords back from Luffy and turning to leave wordlessly.
“Hey, hey, you’re not actually mad over a bit of tickling,” Sanji said, a little worried now. Sure, he liked messing with the guy, but he didn’t want to actually be on his hit list.
Zoro stopped and turned back slightly, his face neutral once more. But then the slightest hint of a smirk tugged at his lips. “I’ll get you back for this.” With that, he turned and left the room to turn in for the night.
A small silence fell over the room for a few seconds.
“...That’s happening again, right?” Usopp asked.
Both Nami and Sanji gave the same answer at the same time: “Absolutely.”
