I FINALLY FINISHED THE DAMN MALWARE MAC FANART!!!!!
I AM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT
I am being COMPLETELY honest in saying that digital art is very very new to me, and I wanted to go out of my comfort zone to truly make something I could be proud of! So here it finally is!!
I think this is my proudest work so farrr!!! And it was honestly so fun to edit in a bunch of glitchy features for Mac hehehehee!!! So I hope you guys enjoy itttt MWAAAAA!!!
bhai I finished a whole chapter, ekdam did all the steps, took notes, watched the lecture, solved questions by myself. I could cry I'm so proud of myself
tw: someone with mental health issues is treated awfully and their suffering is intentionally increased
read it below or on ao3
Lan Xichen sucks on the hard candy that Wei Wuxian had brought him from Caiyi Town, carefully observing the scene in front of him. Nie Huaisang is sitting, back straight, on his floor, gazing patiently back at him. His smile is serene as he leisurely flaps his fan and Lan Xichen can’t help but feel slightly nauseous.
“What do you want?” he finally asks without preamble. There’s no need for niceties when talking to men like Nie Huaisang—the only thing it will get you is manipulation.
Nie Hausiang flicks his fan shut. “Your help.”
“Hm,” says Lan Xichen. He continues to suck on the candy, savoring the sugar-sweet flavor as he tries to figure out what Nie Huaisang wants. They haven’t talked since the last Discussion Conference—and they haven’t really talked since that day in Yunping—but Lan Xichen still feels the last vestiges of betrayal swimming deep in his gut. It would be easy—too easy—to turn Nie Huaisang away right here and now. What does Lan Xichen owe him? Nie Huaisang has no power here, not when he has invaded Lan Xichen’s home.
Still, because he is honorable and just and everything that the man across from him is not, he says, “Explain.”
“I’m being haunted.”
“Haunted,” Lan Xichen says blankly. “Sect Leader Nie, you have your own disciples who can deal with this.”
“But none of them can,” explains Nie Huaisang. “And you’re one of the most powerful cultivators of our generation.”
“You’d have better luck with Wei Wuxian,” Lan Xichen points out. In fact, he goes to walk out of the Hanshi, to go and retrieve his brother-in-law. Maybe, that way, he can finally put an end to this disaster of a meeting.
Nie Huaisang immediately shakes his head. “Second Brother, I really don’t think he would be keen on helping me.”
Incredulously, before he can stop himself, Lan Xichen demands, “And you think that I am?”
Nie Huaisang’s lips thin. He continues to fan himself but his movements are sharper now—jerkier. Lan Xichen has touched a nerve. Good, he thinks viciously. To his displeasure, though, Nie Huaisang simply soldiers on. “Regardless, I’m in need of aid. Are you going to turn me away?”
Lan Xichen stares at the vile man who has ruined his life. Maybe he will turn Nie Huaisang away—maybe he will throw him out of the Hanshi, leaving him with no choice but to go and confront Wei Wuxian. Maybe he’ll ban Nie Huaisang from the Cloud Recesses altogether. Maybe he’ll irrevocably ruin the Lan Sect’s relationship with the Nie Sect in any number of ways just so that Nie Huaisang will suffer the backlash. Maybe he’ll trap Nie Huaisang here, tie him firmly to the door so that Nie Huaisang will always know how close he is to freedom without ever being able to achieve it.
Lan Xichen has long since accepted the cruel, awful thoughts that float through his head, the kind that he’d always thought only awful people thought of. But no, he knows the truth now—everyone thinks like this, the awful people are the ones who follow through on their thoughts and impulses. And Lan Xichen is not an awful person.
So, as much as he’d love to see Nie Huaisang shackled to his door, wasting away in the Hanshi, Lan Xichen simply sighs. “I will help,” he says. “What is the nature of your haunting?”
Nie Huaisang says, “It’s a ghost. It looks just as it did in life, but it makes no sound. No others can see it. It has taken to unsettling me with merely its image, which it occasionally morphs in order to evoke negative emotions in me.”
“Okay,” Lan Xichen says slowly, building a case in his mind. “Do you happen to know who the ghost is?”
“Yes,” says Nie Huaisang. “It’s Jin Guangyao.”
Lan Xichen’s mind screeches to a halt. For a moment, he’s consumed with rage—how dare Nie Huaisang come here and say that man’s name, taunting him with each flap of his fan? But no, the look in Nie Huaisang’s gaze is clear as day. He truly believes that he’s being haunted by Jin Guangyao.
“Sect Leader Nie,” says Lan Xichen, “Jin Guangyao is still trapped in the casket with your brother.”
“Which is why I’m concerned,” says Nie Huaisang. “Somehow, he has managed to find a way to escape.”
“To do what?” asks Lan Xichen. “Torture you, specifically? You think he intends to spend the rest of eternity trying to make you mildly uncomfortable?” It sounds mad. The casket that Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue had fallen into had been sealed several times over by Wei Wuxian himself, and Lan Xichen is aware enough to know that Wei Wuxian is among the most powerful cultivators to ever exist. Just being in the same room as the casket made Lan Xichen hiss from stinging pain, and looking at it was like taking a razor to the eyes. Wei Wuxian himself had seemed entirely unbothered, of course, only looking concerned when Lan Wangji began to tremble.
The bottom line is—no one is touching the casket, and no one will be breaking out of it.
Nie Huaisang’s claim seems incredibly unlikely. Still, Lan Xichen ignores Nie Huaisang’s protests to say, “I will look into it.”
The other man all but deflates. “Thank you, Second Brother.”
Offhandedly, not even thinking about it much, Lan Xichen adds, “And don’t call me that.”
“What?”
“‘Second Brother’. I don’t see any reason why you should continue to.”
“You say that with such a straight face.” Again, Nie Huaisang seems hurt. Lan Xichen has half the mind to curse him right here and now. The image of Nie Huaisang, wasting away in the Hanshi, pops into his mind again, but this time, he imagines Nie Huaisang’s hitching sobs of fear and betrayal. It’s awful but, well, he would deserve it, wouldn’t he?
Lan Xichen puts a stop to that train of thought quickly. He’d rather not act on it. Instead, he dismisses Nie Huaisang and gets to work.
-
As expected, the casket is still sealed. Wei Wuxian confirms this for him with ease. He also assures him that both Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao are still inside, fighting and clawing at each other for the rest of eternity. He says that last part with a smile. Lan Xichen nods, used to Wei Wuxian’s occasional but intense bouts of savagery.
Still, that leaves Lan Xichen wondering—what on Earth is happening to Nie Huaisang? Perhaps another ghost has taken to him, utilizing his greatest fear. To know further, he summons Nie Huaisang.
The man arrives three days later, looking weak and exhausted from the journey. Lan Xichen, rather pettily, likes it. He doesn’t mention it, though, instead asking Nie Huaisang more and more questions about his ghost. It sounds rather standard for a haunting and Lan Xichen gets more and more irritated, wondering how Nie Huaisang’s own disciples haven’t been able to deal with it, but then they reach a certain point of questioning that piques his interest.
“Are you sure it’s Jin Guangyao?” demands Lan Xichen. “Are you absolutely positive?”
“Of course,” says Nie Huaisang. “Who else can it be?”
“Another spirit may be trying to scare you,” says Lan Xichen. “Or it might be a demon that’s feeding on your mind.”
“It’s not,” is the firm reply. “It’s Jin Guangyao!”
And on and on in circles they go, with Nie Huaisang absolutely certain that the ghost is Jin Guangyao no matter how much evidence he receives on the contrary. Lan Xichen eventually shuts the conversation down, absolutely baffled. He summons his uncle, confused and wondering if he’d somehow forgotten about some nasty spirit that confounds the mind. Lan Qiren listens to Lan Xichen’s descriptions of the predicament, carefully sipping his tea.
Then, his uncle says, “This is not the cause of any malicious force.”
“Then what could it be?” demands Lan Xichen.
“It sounds to me like a lapse in sanity,” Lan Qiren says. “It sounds like a surplus of guilt combined with a distinctly unwell mind. Whoever it is that is suffering from such a fate needs to see a healer. If they remain as they are, they will only become a hazard to themselves and others.”
Oh. It seems that Sect Leader Nie has gone insane.
-
Lan Xichen puts off telling Nie Huaisang the truth about his problem. Instead, he waits, and he thinks. That awful part of him that he always ignores tells him that, maybe, Nie Huaisang deserves this. His uncle had said it plain as day, after all—this wouldn’t have happened if Nie Huaisang weren’t overwhelmed with guilt, and the man can certainly stand to be guilty.
And what danger can he be to others when he can barely cultivate? Even more, what does it matter that Nie Huaisang may be a hazard to himself? What can he do to himself that he wouldn’t deserve? Nothing, Lan Xichen realizes—Nie Huaisang deserves this. He deserves to suffer.
So, when Nie Huaisang visits next, Lan Xichen doesn’t ignore the awful voice in his head. He says, “It is Jin Guangyao.” He says, “He’s haunting you for your sins.” He says, “He won’t go away until you’ve properly atoned for them.”
Nie Huaisang accepts the explanation without question.
Lan Xichen watches how, over the next several months, Nie Huaisang scrambles to make amends. He watches the man suffer and cry and beg and look into every corner with sheer terror. Sometimes, Nie Huaisang will come crawling back to Lan Xichen, collapsing on his knees in the Hanshi, and weep, “He’s still there, I haven’t done enough. When will it be enough?”
“Just a little more,” Lan Xichen says, cradling the man’s tear-soaked cheeks in his hands. He looks almost enticing like this, as if he’s truly innocent. “I’m sure that then, it will be enough.”
Nie Huaisang withers into a whisper of himself and Lan Xichen thinks it’s exhilarating. Nie Huaisang will always be haunted by Jin Guangyao because he deserves it. He will never be able to make up for what he’s done for as long as he lives.
He’s almost disappointed when the news of Nie Huaisang’s suicide reaches the Cloud Recesses.
-
It’s three months before it happens for the first time. Lan Xichen is in the Hanshi, reading through some scrolls pertaining to the supplies purchased by the Sect, when something flickers in the corner of his gaze. He pauses, setting the scroll down, and he turns to look.
He sees Nie Huaisang standing in the corner. His eyes are blank and distant. His mouth is moving but no sound comes out. He reaches out to Lan Xichen, tears streaming down his cheeks. It’s a scene that Lan Xichen used to find so striking.
