In “First Wife”... why do you think Jamie said “you left me” to Claire? I know it was a heated exchange and emotions were all over the place but that was so off base from reality. Thank you.
Hello darling!!
This a valid question and one that when I initially saw “First Wife” struggled with a lot. I had similar feelings to you; Jamie’s statement felt “off” to me.
I actually sat on this question for a wee bit because I wanted to look over the screenplay and the novel before answering! However, everything I share is purely my interpretation of the reality presented to me on screen and in print.
I am going to approach my answer first by trying to contextualize Jamie’s bold claim in the novel and show; then by giving you my personal sentiments.
VOYAGER:
These words that Jamie says are not exclusive to the show. Jamie does utter them in the novel. Here is the exchange:
‘Am I a man? To want you so badly that nothing else matters? To see you, and know I would sacrifice honor or family or life itself to lie wi’ you, even though ye’d left me?’
‘You have the filthy, unmitigated, bleeding gall to say such a thing to me?’ My voice was so high, it came out as a thin and vicious whisper. ‘You’ll blame me?’
He stopped then, chest heaving as he caught his breath. ‘No. No, I canna blame you.’
He turned aside, blindly. ‘How could it have been your fault? Ye wanted to stay wi’ me, to die with me.’
‘I did, the more fool I,’ I said. ‘You sent me back, you made me go! And now you want to blame me for going?’
He turned back to me, eyes dark with desperation.
‘I had to send ye away! I had to, for the bairn’s sake!’
His eyes went involuntarily to the hook where his coat hung, the pictures of Brianna in its pocket. He took one deep, quivering breath, and calmed himself with a visible effort.
‘No,’ he said, much more quietly. ‘I canna regret that, whatever the cost. I would have given my life, for her and for you. If it took my heart and soul, too …’
He drew a long, quivering breath, mastering the passion that shook him.
‘I canna blame ye for going.’
‘You blame me for coming back, though’
He shook his head as though to clear it.
‘No, God no!’
He grabbed my hands tight between his own, the strength of his grip grinding the bones together.
‘Do ye know what it is to live twenty years without a heart? To live half a man, and accustom yourself to living in the bit that’s left, filling in the cracks wi’ what mortar comes handy?’
‘Do I know?’ I echoed. I struggled to loose myself, to little effect. ‘Yes, you bloody bastard, I know that! What did you think, I’d gone straight back to Frank and lived happy ever after?’
I kicked at him as hard as I could. He flinched, but didn’t let go.
In the novel Jamie does speak those words at Claire. However, like the show, it was in the throws of a fight.
Also interesting to note, when Claire questions the blame Jamie places on her for coming back, he responds with an adamant NO. This to me communicates that despite Jamie speaking out of the heat of anger, his heart is resolved.
FIRST WIFE:
This entire exchange is similar to how it plays out in the show and yet extremely different. Here is the script of the scene:
When I am looking at the notes in the script, I can see that the writer made a choice to state that Jamie “matches her fury”. What this indicates to me is that Jamie chose to ESCALATE the moment rather than deescalate, or attempt at peace.
This is what the novel & screenplay have to say about this scene: Jamie and Claire are in an argument, Claire ‘throws a punch’ and Jamie reciprocates in kind.
MY SENTIMENTS:
Ok so aside from that contextualization, here are my thoughts:
Jamie & Claire have fought before after extreme conflict and will say things in anger that they do not ENTIRELY believe or feel.
If someone is trying to escalate an argument, they will typically say something that is partially true, but not holistically so. It is honest enough to sting, but not entirely true so as it leaves a question of doubt in the air.
A prime example of this is after Jamie & the men rescue Claire from Black Jack and they have a huge argument by the river in 1x9 “The Reckoning”. Jamie even states, ‘I was sore. I said more than I meant’. Jamie does not actually think his wife is a foul-mouthed b****…he merely said that in burst of passion.
This is one interpretation of what happened in ‘First Wife.’ Jamie said that merely to hurl an accusation back at Claire and did not entirely mean what he said.
Another interpretation could be that Jamie has had two decades to sit on what happened between him and Claire.
Jamie was prepared to die at Culloden. He was not expecting to live past giving away his wife and unborn child.
The agony of waking up alive without them caused a large portion of his heart to die. He lost his soul.
When she returns, the sun arose on his darkest night. His lungs breathed air for the first time in decades.
However, he married in her absence and he is trying to justify that to her. He is almost saying, well you left, I did not die. I lived and so I married as a means to be able to continue on existing. I married again and it blew up in my face. But you left, and that is why all of this happened.
To be honest though, no matter how you try to interpret that statement, it is below the belt.
HOWEVER, to be candid, I think this line is a poor characterization flaw. I just do.
When Jamie says, ‘even though you left me’, I was shocked. Jamie is not perfect; hardly so. He should not be on a pedestal. But, I felt that this choice from Diana was contrary to the heart and soul of James Fraser.
Jamie released Claire FOR THE SAKE OF HER AND THE CHILD. Jamie WILLINGLY gave them up that they may live.
Even in ‘A Malcolm’ there is an exchange that solidifies this COMPLETELY:
I will never leave you again.
You were right to leave. We did it for Brianna.
THIS to me is a line that is true to the heart of Jamie.
Naturally, we all say things contrary, especially in the passion of anger or hurt, but I just assert that Jamie throwing that line in Claire’s face to be contradictory. Particularly because HE was the one who made her go, and he knows that, AND because he reaffirms that decision to his wife upon her return.
Sometimes authors do make character choices that are confusing and inconsistent; it happens. I do not own Jamie. He is not mine. But, in my personal opinion, Diana made this mistake with having Jamie blame his wife for leaving.