To anyone anxiously awaiting an update on All For You I’d like to announce that the next chapter has officially put the total word count over 450,000 and I’m not even halfway done yet. 💀💀💀
With any luck you’ll be eating tomorrow or this coming weekend if my muse holds and work doesn’t choke me out on the floor randomly.
It's been a hot minute, hasn't it? And it's not even new content rip. But still, have these 5k words that will replace the poorly written original chapter 2 of this trainwreck that holds a special place in my heart.
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“Langa…”
Reki rolled onto his back, dropping his book on his face and groaning. Langa watched as the boy spread out like a starfish on his bedroom floor, not moving the book away and seeming overly dejected. He was still wrapped up in his usual yellow hoodie, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Always that yellow hoodie, always wearing that thick sweater despite it being the end of July. He was still in that sweater, the bright yellow one that had started to fade from the overexposure to sunlight, the one that never failed to draw Langa’s eyes towards the boy. Or so that’s what he told himself as he wrapped his arms around his knees, physically holding his leg back from swinging and landing a kick to Reki’s side in an attempt to jolt the boy back to life.
Despite the summer having finally rolled around, schoolwork never stopped, which kind of sucked. There were no more of those summers where Langa would just lounge around the house, watching cable television while his parents worked. There were no more summers spent at his grandparents, summers he would spend playing in their yard. There were no more summers free of school work; Japan hadn’t caught on that the hot months of the year were supposed to be spent not thinking about school. Or maybe it was that there was so little summer heat in Canada – unlike in Japan where it was just constantly hot – that the people in charge of the education system decided to enjoy their summers not working. Langa never really got why summer meant vacation, but that wasn’t his problem. Not anymore at least, now that he had to spend his summer doing homework.
Thankfully, he had Reki to share his homework with. That was if the boy had any intentions of working on their assignments before the last day of break. Knowing Reki, he was most likely going to repeat last summer and rush through everything, resulting in a week’s worth of detention due to the poor quality of his work. And as much as Langa hated the idea of working on assignments, he wasn’t ready to miss out on a week worth of fun just because Reki hated schoolwork even more than he did.
“An hour a day. We agreed on an hour a day to get your grades up.”
“Not like yours are that much better than mine.”
Reki’s voice had been muffled by the textbook still resting on his face. If he stayed like that any longer, Langa would have expected the ink from the pages to have imprinted itself onto the boy’s face, but before he could even entertain the idea of studying off of Reki’s cheeks, he flipped onto his stomach with yet another groan. It looked almost painful for him to do, but once he was comfortable again on his floor, the textbook neatly tucked under his folded arms and chin, Reki let his eyes skirt over the words. He was back to work.
For five minutes. Reki had lasted five minutes before falling asleep, snoring softly into the gutter of his math book. The hums that usually filled the air as they studied together had been replaced by a steady breath, a sound Langa had grown far too accustomed to over the course of the year of impromptu sleepovers. It was just easier to crash in the same room after a night spent at S. It saved Reki the detour of dropping Langa off. It allowed them to catch a few extra minutes of sleep before the morning alarm started to blare in their ears. Or at least that was what Langa told himself.
With a sigh, Langa set his own book aside to poke Reki in the side. The boy yelped as he jumped, grabbing his waist in an attempt to avoid being poked again.
“Dude! What the hell? Don’t just… Don’t do that!”
“You fell asleep.”
“Yeah well, I… Maybe I need the rest! We’re supposed to be on break, after all.” A smile curled onto Langa’s lips as Reki flopped to the side, still whining. “Can’t we go out and skate instead? This is so boring.”
Langa sighed, slumping his back against Reki’s bedframe. His eyes didn’t shift away from the body on the floor, his eyes trailing across the sun-kissed skin, his gaze forming constellations with the pale freckles that ornated Reki’s face. Or at least, he did so until he noticed what he was doing. Quickly, he shook his head, the words he had meant to say finally tumbling out.
“I can’t today. My mom is going to kill me if I don’t show Emmy around like I promised.”
Reki shifted on the floor, slumping his back against his closet door to face Langa. The short-lived nap must have gotten to the boy, his eyes a little duller than usual as he stared at Langa. They lacked their usual shine of excitement, instead seeming a little foggy.
“Your girlfriend?”
“Cousin, Reki. She’s my cousin.” Langa shook his head at the boy. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that she’s my cousin and not my girlfriend.”
Had he lacked the self-control, Langa would have muttered something about being too gay to have a girlfriend, but instead, Langa bit his tongue and simply watched Reki squirm across from him. Maybe he should have said something. Maybe if he had said it, Reki would stop assuming every girl in his life was his girlfriend. It was always “How is it possible that you, Prince Langa, haven’t at least had a girlfriend back in Canada?” and never why he didn’t have a boyfriend. Then again, it may have been rude to assume someone was gay.
Langa huffed, thinking back to the time he had managed to render Reki speechless. It didn’t often happen, but with just enough confidence, he was capable of anything, even rendering Reki speechless. It was a surprising moment, really; he hadn’t done much besides lean closer to Reki with a smirk, asking him if he was jealous of the girl who had just asked him out. He hadn’t expected such a strong reaction from Reki, flames taking over his face as his eyes grew wide, his voice cracking over fragments of words and stammering worse than usual before stuffing his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and kicking his skateboard into motion. He had rarely raced off so quickly and Langa swore he heard Reki mutter something resembling a yes, but that must have been wishful thinking. If Reki were to be jealous, it wasn’t of the girl; he, too, deserved to be asked out and gifted chocolates and love confessions every other week, even if the thought of it made Langa’s stomach twist.
“Can I come with?” Langa blinked at the boy who was once again sprawled across the floor. “I’m just so bored at home!”
Langa shrugged, closing his textbook. Thinking he’d get any extra work done was purely hopeful and naïve thinking. “Sure, but Emmy’s not exactly… fluent in Japanese.”
“Neither are you.” There was a beat of silence. Then Reki sat up again. “Wait, no. You’re pretty fluent, just…” Reki reached out, his fingers curling around one of Langa’s notebooks and flipping through the pages. “You write like shit, dude. How do you even revise with these notes?”
Heat formed under Langa’s cheeks as he snatched his notebook back. “I’m not that bad!”
“Pretty sure the twins have better handwriting than you and they’re not even in school yet!”
“You know what?” Langa got up, half-glaring at Reki as he messily stuffed his homework back into his bag. “No, no you can’t come. You’re going to have to deal with your boredom all on your own.”
“No!” Arms wrapped around the boy’s ankles, not letting him move away from the body on the floor. “C’mon! Don’t be like that! I’m sorry! I’m just teasing!”
Sometimes, Langa’s cold exterior came in handy. It took a lot for him to crack, no matter how badly he wanted to smile or laugh. He was more than aware that Reki was just teasing him – not that he was wrong; Langa’s handwriting really was shit – but part of him wanted him to feel at least a little bit bad. Nothing major, not for too long – he wasn’t evil after all – but just for a bit. Or maybe he was evil. Was it evil to purposefully make your best friend feel bad after he just insulted your handwriting? Langa didn’t know; he had never had friends who would tease him the way Reki did.
“C’mon dude, please? Please let me come?”
“Fine.” A smile finally blossomed across Langa’s face as Reki let go of his ankles. “But I’m not translating your endless rambles about boards. You go way too fast and the words are just gonna…”
The softness of Reki’s smile as he got up to be eye level with Langa almost made him melt. “I know, man. I know you have a hard time switching between languages.”
Reki was always so understanding. While his brain was constantly buzzing, ideas bouncing around at the speed of light, Langa’s seemed to shut down at the most unfortunate times. Whenever he needed it to work for him, such as when he was put on the spot and was expected to give an answer, it just decided to go on vacation, leaving him a silent, panicking mess. Or at least, he felt like a panicking mess; others, more often than not, either assumed he was too cool to be answering questions or that he was a total airhead, which he guessed was fair. Maybe he was a little bit of an airhead at times, but most of the time, it was just his brain refusing to cooperate with him. Most of the time, it was the anxiety, or maybe it was just all those high expectations. Regardless of what it was, all he knew was that when someone asked him for an answer, he froze up.
A few people had asked how it was that he was so bad at everything except skateboarding, but he hadn’t given them an answer. Except for Reki. He had answered Reki, but that was probably because Reki had been gentler when asking how it was possible for Langa to know all the answers when it came to skateboarding. And he had answered honestly: he didn’t think then he was skating. He was good at it because he didn’t think; everything went so fast, he didn’t have time to think. He just acted, all his answers for himself and himself alone. He didn’t need to be in someone else’s head when finding answers. He just had to do what felt right to him. Nobody expected anything of him, nothing except what he normally did which was what he wanted.
Skateboarding was easy. People… not so much.
“Quit overthinking this. I’m sure we’ll manage something. And if not, we’ll just mime stuff at each other until we get each other.”
A light chuckle escaped Langa as Reki mimed miming, his arms waving through the air. He had no idea what the boy was trying to communicate with his charade, but neither one lingered too much on that. Instead, he calmed, his focus suddenly lingering on the small point of contact between the two boys, the warmth of Reki’s body against his.
“You know,” his voice was back to its usual coolness, though he could feel a stutter on the tip of his tongue, “there is this thing called a translator app. Not perfect, but better than me.”
“Aw, man, don’t be so hard on yourself!” Reki leaned even more into Langa, his head on the boy’s shoulder. “I’m sure you’re gonna be a great translator!”
As Reki peeled himself off of Langa, the warmth dissipated almost immediately, leaving Langa cold once more. Despite the sun beaming down on all of Okinawa, Langa still felt cold when Reki wasn’t next to him, touching him, cuddling him. It wasn’t weird for best friends to cuddle, was it? People could cuddle platonically, right? It had to be a thing. Girls did it all the time at school, all huddled together, some on each other's laps, arms linked as they giggled together. So it wasn’t weird to have Reki cuddled into his side while they watched skateboarding videos, buried under blankets, in the dead of the night.
“C’mon, man! You’re zoning out on me again! Race you to your place?”
Langa blinked a few times before giving him a curt nod, dropping his skateboard and pushing off after Reki. He wasn’t going to think about cuddling Reki. Nope. No way. Not happening.
Once again, it wasn’t hard to spot the girl sitting on the curb of the road. Her blond hair shone under the hot summer sun, bright against the dull color of the apartment building. Her phone screen also helped with the shine, rays of sunlight reflecting off of it as she continued scrolling mindlessly. If Langa had to describe the girl, phone-addict was one of the first things he’d say; she didn’t do much other than scroll through the countless apps she had. Really, all she did was pull her knees to her chest and stare at a screen all day, which was probably why Langa’s mother had asked for him to take her out for the day.
At the sound of the screeching wheels of two skateboards coming to a halt, Emily lifted her head, seeming a little disoriented. She blinked at them, as if not recognizing the boy in front of her, but as soon as the connections were made in her brain, a grin broke across her face as she bounced up.
“About time you got here! I’ve been–!”
Brown eyes flickered towards Reki, a color breaking across her cheeks as she bit her lower lip. Her fingers picked and pulled at her phone case, a nervousness so uncharacteristic from the girl Langa remembered from his childhood, and yet, it made him bite back a smile.
“Hello, I mean,” she fumbled with her words and her phone, worse than Langa had on his arrival in Japan. “Hello,” she repeated in highly English-accented Japanese.
A cold sweat swept over Langa. As much as he wanted to laugh at the girl and her struggles, he was suddenly more concerned and aware of his own presence. Was he to play translator or was he supposed to let her try and communicate on her own? Was it rude to let her struggle or would it be ruder to cut her off and just tell her that he’d translate whatever she said? Had it been a mistake to let Reki join him today? Should he have told him that he was busy and couldn’t come with him?
“Hello, I… I hope I not…” Reki leaned closer, whispering to Langa in his native Japanese. “How do you say ‘intruding’ in English?”
“Bother.” The English rolled off of his tongue far more naturally than the Japanese ever did despite having spent years speaking it and having lived in Japan for the past year. “I hope I’m not bothering.”
“Bot–! Bot… I…” Reki grinned, pointing at Langa. The clunky attempt at English was quickly replaced by a smooth Japanese. “That! Whatever Langa said, that.”
It would have been easy to have ignored the situation, make nothing of it. Nothing spectacular had happened, after all; Reki had tried to speak English just as Emily had attempted to speak Japanese. Except everything had happened and Langa felt like he could just die. And not just because he would have to play interpreter between Reki and Emily.
It was ridiculous, really. It had no business making his heart skip a beat in his chest the way it did. It wasn’t even like it was the first time he was hearing Reki try to speak English! And yet, here Langa was, the corners of his eyes prickling with potential tears, the urge to curl up in a ball on the ground, knees pressed to his chest, stopped by the mere fact that he was not dramatic by nature.
Reki was cute. Reki was absolutely adorable and it was going to kill Langa. His accent was everything, an accent Langa had never really noticed since Reki never spoke English aside from the couple of words he had to utter during English classes. And Langa had never really thought about speaking English with Reki; the most that would happen would be him turning a word over in his mouth until he found the Japanese translation. He had never seen Reki try so hard to communicate in a langue that wasn’t his own, the concentration so visible on his face as he tried to repeat the words Langa had given him. And when the sheepish grin spread across his face as he gave up? That was it. Langa was gone. Langa was lost to the brightness of the boy, to his ridiculously adorable ways. How was it possible that he had somehow gotten even cuter than he already was?
“Hey, Langa?” Emily’s voice drew Langa back to reality, her fingers curled around his forearm. “You good there? You look like you’re about to have a panic attack.”
“Cute attack actually.”
The words were already out by the time Langa was clasping his hands over his mouth, eyes widened with shame. It was too late; there was no taking them back now. They were out for the world to hear rather than in the safe space in the corner of his mind. His deepest, most embarrassing thoughts had been verbalized, and there was no doubt about that given the way Emily was biting her lip, failing to conceal her laughter.
“You…” A snort escaped the girl, her laughter falling like a waterfall now. “You have it so bad! How have you not slipped up yet?”
“This is your fault!” Heat rose to Langa’s cheeks as he hissed at the girl. “This is all your fault! You—!"
The corner of Langa’s eyes caught on a wisp of red, red that drew him in as always. Amber eyes had been cast down, staring at his fingers picking at the fraying hem of his sleeve. There was a shadow over Reki’s usual brightness, a shadow Langa had learned to quickly notice. It came with the tugging of sleeves, something Reki only did when he was uncomfortable. Something he only did when he felt unwanted. Something he only did when he felt out of place, the last thing Langa wanted him to ever feel; Reki should never feel out of place next to Langa.
“Reki?”
“It’s okay, Langa. I… I’ll just go home. I’m sure I can do something for my mom and you, well, it’ll be easier for you.” He forced a smile as his eyes met Langa’s. The grin looked as fragile as Langa’s heart. “You’ll come around later? Or like, you’ll text me tonight?”
“No.” A pause. Downcast eyes and slender fingers grabbing for the soft yellow fabric. “Yes. No, Reki. Please.” The eyes rose like sunshine in the morning, pulling a grateful smile from Langa. “Please don’t go. I… I want you here.”
“And,” the voice was shaky but held a lot more confidence than what Langa had mustered up all those months ago when he first arrived in the new country, “I understand. Just… Just go slow please?”
The Japanese words were slow and slightly butchered by an English accent, but still, they left a pool of relief in Langa’s chest. He wouldn’t have to translate everything, all the back and forth between Emily and Reki. He wouldn’t have to play interpreter, a job he knew he was terrible at. He’d just get to sit back and listen, something he enjoyed quite a bit; talking was such a tiring thing.
“When’d you…”
The question wasn’t fully out by the time Emily was looking at him, her eyebrow arched, some sort of invitation for Langa to finish his sentence. She often did that, looking at him in a way that meant “go on, I dare you.” But Langa knew better. He knew she knew the rest of the question without needing him to spell it out for her. She was good at predicting what would come next; or maybe Langa was predictable when it came to his questions.
“I’ve been practicing a bit.”
The girl shrugged as she turned on her heel, turning her attention to Reki. So that was why she was using a lot more words than he remembered her knowing. And sure, they weren’t perfect, far from Reki’s native Japanese, but it was nonetheless impressive to Langa. After all, out of the two, he was by far the more “Japanese” one.
Back in Canada, he was the one that people went to when looking for a “foreign” kid, despite his light hair and blue eyes. He was the one people heard speak Japanese with his parents. He was the one that had weird things in his lunches, which now that he thought about it, weren’t even that weird. He was the one that looked the most Asian when he stood next to Emily, Emily with her big brown eyes and her glistening blond hair. Out of the two, he was the one that had embraced the Asian heritage a lot more. Or maybe, he just grew up in an environment where being Asian didn’t mean being a freak. Or maybe he was just used to being alone while Emily hated it. Who really knew.
None of that really mattered anyway. They weren’t grade-school kids back in North America anymore. They weren’t the strange kids that didn’t look like the others anymore. Well, yes, they still were, but they were older and it didn’t really matter anymore. What mattered right now was that Emily had her arm looped with Reki’s, her shoulder pressed to his as they walked ahead, chatting like old friends. Fragments of Japanese and English words filled the air, both stumbling over the language they still struggled with. Reki still mostly answered in Japanese, his flow simply slowed down quite a bit in hopes of Emily grasping at least a part of the meaning of his words, while she simply repeated English words over and over again until the Japanese equivalent made its way on her tongue. They both made such efforts to understand each other, eyes bright as they went back and forth. Both seemed so happy in each other’s company that now, it was Langa’s turn to feel out of place. It was his turn to stand back, kicking rocks as he followed them like a sad puppy.
“So, any lucky girls in your life?”
If he hadn’t been grasping the words thrown around before, this series of words didn’t fly high over his head. These ones struck a chord within him. These words had been unmissable and unmistakably Emily’s attempt at getting fresh gossip. She was going to badger Reki until someone snapped, though it was unclear in Langa’s mind who would snap first.
“Emily…”
His voice was low and warning, a tone he hadn’t heard out of himself in ages, and yet, it didn’t chill the girl the way it had chilled him. If anything, she looked amused at his tone, grinning over her shoulder as her eyes twinkled. As always, there was that mischief, mischief that scared Langa more than he could ever scare her.
“Cool it, Twig Boy.” Slick English filled the air, her words like a song unlike the clunkiness of her Japanese. “I ain’t tryin’ to steal your man. Just trying to figure him out, y’know?”
She shot him a wink which made his stomach turn. She knew what she was doing to him, no doubt about it. She knew he hated every moment of this. She knew the power she had over him, the power to drive him to insanity. And yet, she didn’t make any sign of stopping. If anything, she did the opposite, turning to Reki with a grin.
The boy glanced awkwardly between the two. Confusion glazed his eyes, a look which normally would have worried Langa but left him with unnatural relief. By his look, there was no way he had understood the English. He was left in the dark. He was left at Emily’s mercy.
“Well?” She leaned into him, her blonde locks nearly mingling with the wild red wisps. “Girls? Pretty ones? Interesting ones?”
Reki’s eyes grew wide before softening again and falling to the ground in front of him, vanishing from Langa’s view.
“Ah, well…”
Langa had seen that movement a thousand times already, but never did he get used to it. His eyes always followed the freckled skin, the calloused fingers as they reached for Reki’s neck, rubbing the spot sheepishly. Who knew what the boy’s face looked like; was he blushing? Was he thinking about some of the pretty girls from around town, from school, from S? Langa would have loved to know what Reki was thinking, who he was thinking of, but Reki’s mind was a forbidden place. No one but Reki was allowed into his thoughts.
“No, not really. I… I don’t know? I mean, I, I haven’t really had time to think about girls? With skating and school and all that? My mom’s not super happy about my grades, so I can’t go ‘round thinking ‘bout girls all the time, y’know?”
A nervous chuckle fell from Reki’s lips as he glanced back at Langa. Big amber eyes shot a shiver down Langa’s spine as a relieved sigh left his lips. No girls. Reki wasn’t thinking about girls, not that Langa wasn’t aware of this. Or rather, Reki had never brought one up to him and Langa, perhaps naively, believed it meant that none had caught his eye.
There only ever had been boards for Reki; it was all he would gush about. It was always “Look at the shape of this one!” or “The colors look freaking awesome when you flip this one!” and never… whatever it was that straight boys said about girls. Girls had never been an issue, and Langa couldn’t have been more thankful. He had no idea what he would have done if Reki had confided in him about a crush on some girl in their class. Or one of the older girls that S. Was Reki maybe into older girls? He talked to a lot of girls their age but never mentioned any, but he rarely talked to the older ones under the harsh midnight lights at S. Maybe he was too shy around them because he found them pretty. Or maybe he—
“What about boys?”
“Emily!”
The name tumbled out of Langa’s mouth quicker than his mind was going. Reki wasn’t into any girls, he had just confirmed that despite Langa’s racing thoughts. Reki was still just Reki, his Reki, his best friend. But such a confirmation didn’t mean that he had any interest in guys! Emily was just being annoyingly nosy, asking inappropriate questions to someone she essentially just met.
“What?”
She had that shit-eating grin on her face again, the one Langa knew too well, the one that more often than not made his cheeks burn bright. There was no blaming the sun for this one; the blush was there, probably a deep crimson, and it was definitely that she-devil’s fault. It was her fault and… and… It was her fault because she couldn’t ask Reki questions like that! They were uncalled for and inappropriate! And Reki absolutely did not need to answer or—
“No? I mean, I don’t know? I…” Reki rubbed his nose with the sleeve of his hoodie, the yellow bright like the sun, the yellow giving his pretty face a glow like the setting sun. “I haven’t thought about it?”
The hesitation in Reki’s voice made Langa’s heart skip a beat. What was it doing there? Reki didn’t have to seem bashful or anything about it; he could have easily just said no and moved on with his life. But it was there, clear as day, clear as the blush that Langa tried desperately to make disappear. Perhaps he had just misunderstood the question. Maybe that hesitation stemmed from him trying to decipher what Emily was trying to say to him rather than a consideration of what she was saying, since he didn’t like boys. It was just obvious: Reki did not like boys, at least not the same way Langa did. Reki liked girls and that was that.
“Do you—”
“How about,” Langa squeezed between the two, pushing Emily away a little forcefully. She stumbled next to him, snapping her mouth shut as her words vanished from existence. She shot him a look that Langa ignored, simply grabbing both Reki and Emily by the wrists and dragging them along. “How about we go grab something to eat? Since I’m supposed to be a tour guide, we might as well—”
“Explore what you know best?”
Emily burst out laughing at Reki’s proud grin. And Langa couldn’t even bring himself to be mad at the boy; he was right after all. All he really knew was where he could fill his stomach. All he really knew were the places where he and Reki fit in best, sunken deep into an old booth, two best friends sharing a carton of fries and occasionally some sickly-sweet drink at the crack of dawn.
“Let’s just go.”
The words were accompanied by a sigh, but the smile didn’t even try to cover itself. How could Langa try to seem frustrated when Reki was smiling like that? How could he even dare try to seem annoyed when Reki was there? It was impossible to try and act like he would have rather be alone.
And Reki, he didn’t seem like he was less excited at the prospect of getting food with his best friend. Or with Emily. Who knew who Reki was more excited about, not that Langa would try to pull the answer out of the boy. Emily, on the hand, still seemed ready to go fishing for more information, yet another thing Langa wouldn’t allow to happen.
Today just wasn’t the day Langa would try to open the can of worms called sexuality. Today wasn’t the day he’d try to learn if Reki exclusively liked girls or not. Today wasn’t the day he would be finding out if all his terrible attempts at flirting had been in vain or not. No, today was going to be the day where he got himself a burger and just spent a nice day out, not getting his life turned inside out by some nosy cousin he hadn’t seen in forever. Today was not the day he was going to be dealing with yet another emotional crisis.
after being surrounded by shadowy forests of granite falls your sim finds themself among the bright jungle ✩ they wish to dig up some artefacts, find a treasure and dance the nights away!