Aug 6, 2015
earthquake
My mom is showing me her in-case-of-an-earthquake suitcase...
It contains all the jewelry I’ve ever bought her and her birth certificate and passport, but no clothing, bottled water, flashlight, canned food, or you know, anything you might actually need in case of an emergency...
Mom: Dhere’s going to be dhe beeg beeg earth-uh-quake-ey. Soon. Berry soon. Me: Where are the earthquakes lines in California? Isn’t Fullerton pretty safe? Mom: Will-shurr*... You know dhe Jews dhey build dhe high rises all along Will-shurr. Dhe Jews so smaht-uh. Good buzyness-uh people-suh. Me: Uh huh? Where are you going with thi- Mom: End dhen dhey sell end move to Ari-Jone-nah. I dhinking moo-bing to Texas-uh.
*Wilshire Blvd. in Los Angeles