<I know I haven't posted an #accordingtomymother conversation in a long time. So here is a long phone conversation for you...> Photo caption roughly translated: Do I look like a living portrait? Me: Is that picture your reflection in a mirror or you behind a frame? Mom: Uhng. Vintagey fuh-ramey. Me: But is that your reflection in a mirror or you behind a frame? Mom: I went to wedding yesterday. So guhn-sah-heh [fancy]. Boths of dhem single moms' keeds. I crying so much when modher-son dance-suh. Noh-mooh muh-shee-suh [Very chic]. Dhey grow up so well even dhough single moms. Me: So are you implying I didn’t “grow up” well-? Mom: I'm so happy to see dhat wedding. Me: Ok, but, like, you were standing in front of a mirror or were you behind the frame? Mom: Oh oh frame-y. Frame-y. Also. Sue auntie had stroke-uh. Me: Oh no- Mom: She in best-uh hospeetal. Beh-vuh-lee Hill-suh. Mount Sheenai. Best hospital. Best room. Nice bee-you. Everything is so expenseeve flower OOohl [whole] room. Me: Uhh- Mom: She's not happy. She cannot use left han-left han and feet. Her house as you know is second story. She afraid to go home. Me: When does she- Mom: She had money. She has so strong. Social worker come. Talking to her. Come talking. Sue yelling, "I hab Own my insurance." Yell at social worker. I saying, "Calm down." Heh-lah-guh-lah-goh [I tell her to]. Me: Right, she's just trying to do her- Mom: End dhen Sue husband-uh fuh-rend-duh popping dhe champagne. When she got better. Celebrating. Sue saying, "What are you celebrate?! I can't move my left side-uh. Dhis may not recover. What are you celebrate?" You know, she cannot control pee pee. Me: Right, ri-wait, wha-? Mom: Jjaa-jung-nah-jahn-nah [It’s frustrating]. I say, "Be patient and recover." I was soooo depress. Dhe Friday. And dhen. Even I don't have ten dollah. I so poor. Parking fee is ten dollah. I tell Sue younger seester, "I don't know how to put my credit card in he-yuh." She paying fo me. Me: I could've sent you- Mom: We are seventee years old. We have dhese thing on-going-on-going. I was so depress. I calling you. Why you no calling me back??? Me: I got your voicemail in the morning. I think I was asleep when you called? And then- Mom: Yeah maybe. I told you, "You must be sleeping and I call and leave voicemail," and I dhink you gonna calling me back. I waiting… I recover on my own. Me: Sorry I didn't call- Mom: When I die, right away, they take me away. You cannot see my body. They take me to med-ee-cahl hospital. Cut me. Study me. Then they do [cremation]. You never see me. Me: Well I could take care of all of that. Do you have to give your body to science? Mom: You have no money! How do you do? Funeral soo expenseeve. Me: True- Mom: Why spend money dhere? Waste of money. Me: But in the- Mom: Ee-ben dhough you have no money now. (She laughs.) You have no money now. But. Dhat's how it is... Me: ... Mom: Oh Sue. I say, "Pray. Pray for it all." Sue say, "I been praying my whole life. If Jesus comes why won't I pray?" She cuh-ry again. "Pray," I say. She yelling, "I told you I'm not praying!” You know it takes two hour to be dhere. Come back two hour. I spend Four Hour—Wait, it only take one hour to come back cause no traffeec. So three hour. But still too muchy...She's not happy anyway. Me: But you should try to visit her again, no? Mom: I guess when she go home I'll veesit. Me: Not while she's still in the hospital? Mom: Noo. No need. She call whole neighborhood to come visit. Her little sister complain, "When will she rest?" Rest is important. And doh-tuh-in-law won't come to hospital. Little sister to me bubbling bubuhling. Me: …Uh. Well. Uhm, make sure you're exercising- Mom: Too hot to exercise! Where will I go to exercise?!... Dhat's why. You don't even pray. I know. But pray for Sue auntie. Me: Ok. I'll try. Go visit her when you can- Mom: OOOooK! Go walk. Bye. (Click.)