Mercy, Mercy

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Mercy, Mercy
Hello dear, It rained again today, but only for a little bit. Work's been nagging at me pretty bad and this job hunt has been admittedly less than fruitful thus far. I haven't heard from you too much lately, I hope everything is going well. The dog is sick. Can't keep water down. Still has that goofy fun loving attitude. He was so rambunctious on our walk yesterday that I carried him just to offer spite. He loved it. I must admit (again) that I'm afraid. The more into your work you become and the more preoccupied you seem the less meaning and presence I feel I carry. It's great for you and I know that. I support you, in all you do. Regardless of whether it brings us closer together, or it inevitably separates us. But knowing that I miss you when you're not even truly gone, I know how it would hurt for you to actually go. I wish I didn't feel this way. I wish I had confidence. I wish my past wasn't riddled in sores and scars, but such it is. Do take care, and don't work too hard. Best xx
ADM
What would you think if you knew that I had cried for you that day? You probably would have scoffed And told me it was a sign of weakness. Right? But I suddenly found myself wanting to tell you I was sorry For the way you hurt me That maybe things would be a little different I was a little more like you–or, a little less And that maybe it would’ve played out better for both of us if I had never come to California. But the road flashed before me and even in my high-beam lights, all I could see in front of me was the double yellow lines in the center of the road that warned me not to cross to the other side. That night I was haunted–haunted by you, and by how much I could care about the life of someone who had nearly ruined mine.
an open letter to my mother-in-law
May 2017
rifling
so many remnants , emotions, -viscera- encased in maybelline so we memorize the past
i was there and there, and there
NaPoWriMo - Day 16: A Thank You Letter
Dear You,
I have not forgotten How you were there when I needed someone most And how sweetly you gifted your time To tend to my troubles They are thoughts I do keep close Even in somewhat brief passing Your impact was lasting My heart has the imprints Of the kindness that you showed I wouldn't know how to forget it Even if I tried When it plays on my mind It makes me want to cry Because I cannot believe Such warmth was extended to me So willingly and without condition And I was not in good condition But you made it alright I recall every detail Beginning middle and end I can easily retrace my steps To go back to that night
When I reflect I don't know how I would have gotten through without you I didn't know how bad I needed rescue But you did You knew exactly what I needed And hit the mark perfectly There was nothing more I could have asked for Nothing more I could have wanted With how it came so effortless to you I could have sworn you'd known me my whole life You saved me from that moment Without me even having to ask You broke through my silence It revealed a glimpse into who you are You're sincerity and your qualities Beyond what surface shows And it touched me More deeply than these words could speak
So I just wanted to thank you For that night For your time For your kindness For that feeling For sprinkling magic on tragedy For being the good person that you are Your efforts were appreciated And I'm sorry I never quite figured out how to say it to you right
*Used today’s napowrimo.net prompt which was to write a poem in the form of a letter about a person, place, or thing, or in the form of a back and forth correspondence.
Dear Anxiety, Could you possibly, just for a single moment, stop? Stop trying to make me second-guess every single thought in my head? Stop trying to make me regret every single thing I’ve ever done? If you’d rather not, I guess it’s fine. I wouldn’t want to impose. With Very Little Love, Ray
Dear Anxiety
a letter to my future husband
I hope you kiss my forehead and that I kiss your finger tips and that you can cut out things better than me because I can’t cut for shit I can’t use a ruler to draw straight lines but I hope we love outside them that we’ll sit on the kitchen counter and eat cereal straight from the packet and when we sleep, we’ll dream each others dreams like we’re slipping into each others clothes, and somehow they fit. maybe you’ll have hair like a hurricane like pulsing spirals and oil spill, or maybe like a thatch of corn but there are more important things; I hope your smile is like a shot- that I can feel it like a buck knife slammed between two ribs still whatever may come I hope that when I look at you I see you when we first met the newness, the greenness of it all like an inferno rising between your teeth that you smile with all your teeth and the every day proof of our love will scream from e very facet of routine. I’ll let you see the entire expanse of me- miles of skin and landmarks of white chalk-ridge scar acres of a life line my shoulder blades shift restless, tectonic plates, beneath your palms like a timeline, between your hands and perhaps you shall let me traverse you; not like a well worn path or untrod land but like sifting fingers through sand like sea glass each time touched anew.
-afledglinggirl