#leveloneofcrazy

[duskness]

hi, thanks for the follow! cool blog x

thank you. :]

[leveloneofcrazy]

Page 12 of Book 2013

[leveloneofcrazy]

I guess you can say I'm smitten.

[leveloneofcrazy]

2012 - A year of love and lost

I blasphemy-ed? Sorry :c I imagine myself happy with a significant other by now, but sadly another year, another white chalk on the board marking the number of years I've been a single lady. Nevertheless, it's been a pretty decent year. I proved myself by getting the grades that I wished for only to have my whole academic career went toppling down the next. It wasn't pretty. I don't participate in much clubs or campus activities, so I'm relying on grades and charm to win me a job next time. It's okay I guess, I still have another two more semesters to get myself into the honor roll, if not first then second.  I think I pretty much made amends with some people; give it verbal fight(s) or just basic truth. I don't want to try to please people and I sure as hell don't want people to act as I wish them. I changed. People changed. I do know that, for a long time now but sometimes..I just act like an a-hole. For that, I am truly sorry, whoever you are that I tried to befriend but still rather fail at it. I'm not good at apologizing but I'l try to do so more often next time.  New movie count = 57. Book count = 40. Not a great accomplishment but still I'll break that next year. I just discovered Goodread to supply me endless lists of good novels so yeah, looking forward to fully using it next year.  Happy New Year! Just remember, you don't have to make 2013 a great year. Just make sure that it's not worse than 2012.  But if it ends up being a great year, then awesome! I wish everyone a great year ahead. 

[leveloneofcrazy]

I just love reading romance novels.

Then I read Water Wings and I still remember on page 297, there was a kiss scene that was written so explicitly (for a 13 year old) and there was this hunger within me to read more stuff like this. (Spoiler: that book contains no sex scenes) I began buying books with more adult content, mostly from the Little Black Dress series. From there, I found out about Rachel Gibson. I bought "See Jane Score" first and then realizing that there is some connection between the characters with the characters in the excerpt of another novel they usually provide at the end. And so I bought more Rachel Gibson books. In the end, I currently own 4 books under the Chinooks Hockey Team series, "See Jane Score" being my favorite. I found that the love is more pronounced and maybe I'm being a hopeless (and clueless) romantic but I cried at every argument, every misunderstanding that soon led to them falling in love and declaring it in the most cheesy way a person could.  Years gone by and I bought around 20-30 more LBD books and then I decided to venture into the world of Cecelia Ahern and Sophie Kinsella. I read "Shopaholic Gets Married" when I was 14, but I had forgotten how it was like. Ignoring the Shopaholic series, I opted for Sophie's stand-alone books. I read all of her stand-alone books instead of Twenties Girl and I've Got Your Number and she immediately became my favorite contemporary romance author. Cecelia Ahern followed next. Only recently that I started reading The Shopaholic series and quickly fell in love with Luke Brandon all the while kicking myself from not reading it much earlier.  And then came the year of which I was introduced to historical romance. By then, I've already bought an adequate (boy was I wrong) amount of books fit to call myself an avid reader. I first stumbled across an e-book called "Accidental Countess" by Melissa Schroeder and as the title suggested, it was set in the Regency Era. I fell in love with the prospect of arranged marriage and soon I found myself picking up a Lisa Kleypas book, "Married by Morning". I was hooked. Lisa Kleypas is also a contemporary romance author, and I soon find myself owning 5 out of 30+ of her books, the most by an author I have in my current collection. Next came Mary Balogh and followed by Julia Quinn. Julia Quinn wrote two of my favorite historical romance books-dare I say ever-, "The Viscount Who Loved Me" and "Romancing Mr. Bridgerton". Those books are 2 out of 8 in the Bridgerton series and have yet to read the others. TVWLM is the second book while RMB is the fourth. There was also the second epilogues (made into e-books) and yes, I've read the second epilogues of TVWLM and RMB as well.  I brought novel(s) with me to classes. That's how much I love reading. Although I can't go a week without the Internet (believe me I did and I suffered quite painfully internally), I can't imagine go a whole day without reading or re-reading a book. I just finished RMB like literally 2 hours ago, prior of this post. And I'm thinking of finishing "The Ugly Duchess" by Eloisa James and the last few chapters of "Just Like Heaven" before starting on "To Kill a Mockingbird" . I also have this disease of starting a book before finishing a previous one.  No worries though, I never failed any classes. I got good grades and my English improved over the years from reading alone. So, go read a book. Any book. Mystery, romance, crime etc. Go. Read. You'll be happier. 

[leveloneofcrazy]

Time to get my shit together

I have two tests to study for A summary of the final year project I'm working on to write A bunch of studying to catch up with my courses  

Because I went down last semester. And I went down hard. Time for fooling around is over but I can't stop. I'm so addicted to reading it's like a disease. To fill that hollow feeling I have every morning when I wake up. I found my Ben. You don't need to know him, but I found him. It wasn't enough. Then I found Grant and my heart just swelled with emotion. I fell in love with a fictional character.  

That's when I realize, I'm so fucked up.

[leveloneofcrazy]

Do you know?

How nice it is when someone tells you 'no, you must be strong. you can do this?' DO YOU FUCKING KNOW HOW IT REALLY FEELS? 

I rarely get a genuine "please be strong" from someone. And today, I got three. Three people telling me genuinely to suck it up and endure it. And they'll be doing the same thing too. A support system that nice, it made me cry just thinking about it. I always get a "you can do this!" "I believe in you!" but never in my life have I ever felt so touched by their sincerity. 

Comfort; the rarer it is the more special it is. 

[leveloneofcrazy]

Today is one of those days.

I broke down and cried in class after finding out the codings that I've been doing is a worthless piece of shit. The others look so calm with their work I almost wonder if they're worried as fuck as me. Not even Jerry could calm me. Nope Matt, I am one of those people who cry when they're stressed. I don't owe you a promise, I do what I  want. 

As for my codings. We'll see later today. I almost want to quit this class but there's only 3 weeks left till finals so there's no point. I have to suck it up and finish everything today. I hope everyone else can be at least as worried as me. If they want to make a fool out of themselves tomorrow then be my guest.