The documentaries are completed, the hard work is done for “The Intimate Truth.” It’s been screened to the industry panel and the feedback is in. If you want to view it, the video is below:
(Dir: Amy Harman, DP: Levi Cranston, Edit: Brooke Jensen)
The panel consisted of Dr Jodie Taylor, Director Stephen Lance and West End magazine editor Ann Megalla.
The feedback was both sweet and short. Taylor opened with a beautiful compliment, “I felt so connected with those women watching that. I thought it was absolutely beautiful and very inspiring.” That’s it, we can go home! That’s exactly what you want to hear. Taylor went on to say that she felt the problems these girls experience working were portrayerd the correct amount in juxtaposition to the personal problems they experience every day, which Megalla would describe the narrative as well balanced. Taylor and Megalla both agreed that there was a line of dialogue toward the final minutes of the documentary that seemed to jar the flow of the narrative suggesting that it didn’t completely contribute to the overall story. Lance, agreeing with the intimacy achieved, took a visual approach stating that he felt the documentary needed a certain ‘counter-narrative’ which would help explain the world around them and how they live in it (beds, showers, recreational rooms etc.). Megalla and Taylor both agreed, stating that it would help maintain attention, and Taylor even suggested that she would like to see all the girls together to depict the ‘little family’ scene the girl’s talk about. Megalla also adds that she didn’t connect with the owner or manager as much as the girls and finishes with a massive compliment stating that the documentary achieved “art” in the intimacy. The panel hummed in agreement.
It may sound like an easy way out, but I agree with basically every point of criticism stated. I also believed that the documentary could be tightened, even beyond cutting the ‘assumptions’ dialogue just to keep the same points flowing between the girls. I have to, ironically as DP, agree with Lance on the visual aspects as being just talking heads. It is quite literally what I focused on. Lance’s suggestion of a counter-narrative is nothing new or surprising, as that is the intention of B-roll, but I simply focused on what the Director wanted from the B-roll and sort of shied away from really studying the story and visually contributing ideas. For example, I did shoot B-roll inside of the rooms (when the manager gave us a ‘tour’) but I didn’t quite exactly portray their environment. There was also an issue with the girls shying away from the camera in the recreational rooms, but oh well, it can be revisited. Upon hearing Taylor’s feedback I completely agree that it would be lovely to see all the girls pictured in the same room (the shyness problem would present its head again), but problems with the girl’s availability also constricted us on the days we were there. However, it would’ve been a beautiful little touch. And, on a final point, the compliment of the documentary of achieving “art” is a massive compliment, one that I hope gave Amy the feeling of joy and encouragement she deserves from constructing and completing the documentary.
These criticisms don’t completely change my view on the documentary—I believed it still needed a little bit of refining—but most of all I found it encouraging. If anything it was a great push to make this documentary even better. I knew the documentary was definitely intimate—almost crying on set myself—but hearing these comments possibly elevate the extent to which I believe it achieved.
One obvious element, which should strive to be created, is the visual counter-narrative. Amy, having maintained a good relationship with the owner and manager, would have access to return and shoot what she thinks we would need. This of course would require myself, as DP, to converse with Amy, in order to decide what and how she wants to portray and enhance the story that’s told. Another element to be fixed, which I believe will be anyhow, is that of tightetnin and cutting certain lines to reinforce the story. This would simply require Brooke and Amy to return to the editing suite and think how they could cut these lines and tell their story in a shorter, stronger form.
