Wings in the Dark Chapter 32: No Longer Innocent
AN: And here we are--the very start of this chapter was the last one that I had sitting in my google drives. After the first scene of this chapter, you're getting what I've been writing since I flashbanged you guys with chapter 30 lol.
Please, please, please review and feedback guys, I love you all, the whiplash of going from 30 comments on chapter 30 to 4 comments on chapter 31 was wild, and I would really like the feedback just to make sure I'm back on track with the characters since it's been a while (Again) since I wrote them and I'm kicking off the rust.
Love you aaaalllllllllllllllll <3333333
Characters: Levi, Fem!Vampire!Reader, Emery (OC), Erwin (Mentioned), Various Unnamed Characters
Pairing: Levi x Fem!Vampire!Reader
Warnings: Language, Violence, Blood, Minor Injury, Slight Rioting, Mentions of Starvation, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Illness
Word Count: 13826
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*Levi’s POV*
Erwin had given the two of them a day to prepare before departing, a day to make sure any tasks that needed them at headquarters could either be finished or handed off to someone else. Levi spent most of that time making sure the squad was going to put in the work to remain in shape and ready for any potential trouble while he was gone, and closely going over the reports that crossed his desk from Erwin about the developing situation with the refugees. He didn’t think he was going to be getting a date for the mass execution they were going to have to carry out in the day before they left, but he still looked, still followed every development, every step that brought them closer to the inevitable that was starting to weigh on him more and more. It hadn’t even been announced or finalized yet, and he could already feel it looming over him like a smog.
Last night had been a much needed and welcome distraction. Even talking about Emery, having some of the harder discussions about the two of them, had been better than his thoughts lingering on this sickening insanity.
Though, it wasn’t that insane, was it, when he understood perfectly what they were doing, and why, and he and those around him couldn’t think of any other solutions that were a viable alternative to the incoming slaughter. Either they did something about the situation–with this being the only option anyone could see–or the situation would be solved in an even more bloody and violent way as tensions exploded and people started fighting over resources and inside the walls turned into every man for himself.
Didn’t mean it didn’t make him sick, didn’t mean he didn’t hate every second it was discussed or thought of as the situation developed and plans were being made, he could see some of the moves being made in preparation of what was about to happen…
He’d much rather be thinking about Y/N last night, of their kiss, of the feel of her fingers trailing down his chest, her palm over his heart or pressed against his abdomen, the depth of their kiss that had stolen his breath for the first few long moments, made him dizzy and restless and wanting. At least, before her position had come dangerously close to one that would have had him driven mad with the proximity, before a stab of anxiety at the thought of stumbling accidentally into more sexual waters when clear-headed he’d already decided he was not ready had made him pull back and speak up.
He had thoughts, that was undeniable. He’d already…touched himself while having thoughts of how tantalizing he found her how many times, now? And that hunger that started to burn inside them when they had the time to get particularly close, to be a bit more intimate than brief brushes and kisses, made it clear that he wanted more.
But thinking about actually doing it? Hell, he didn’t think he’d even pictured her in his mind’s eye unclothed–not yet, anyway. He wasn’t quite there yet, and it stressed him out too much when he started to think about the potential of them having sex–
He wasn’t ready. It felt good to know she wasn’t, either, that he wasn’t holding her back or making her wait or anything like that. He wanted to be closer to her when they had the time and privacy to do so, but the thought of being that close was still…too much, right now.
And besides, they had far too much to be doing right now to be worrying or stressing out over sex. There were much more important things to worry over.
First Emery, and anything that may pop up into the mix with that mess they were attempting to clean up, then the refugees, and then, most likely, when they returned they were going to be faced with the ‘solution’ to the food crisis.
The extra day to prepare ended up passing quickly enough Levi found it unnerving in how uneventful it turned out to be. Y/N didn’t come to visit him after dinner this time, mostly because they planned on leaving just before dawn and both needed their rest before then. Well, mostly Y/N needed her rest–Levi slept just about as terribly as he normally did. Which also meant that he was up and ready for the day far sooner than she was. There was barely daylight starting to lighten the sky in the distance when Levi grabbed the bare necessities he’d packed for the trip and headed out to the stables to start readying the horses for their departure.
It had been a while since the last expedition–far longer than normal, by now–and the horses were getting more restless. They even rivaled their owners in how impatient they seemed to be to leave the cramped walls of their enclosures and venture back into open spaces.
Except the next time that they went beyond the walls, it would just be into the old territory, still within the walls, unable to reach that vast unknown space beyond that they had ventured into before.
As such, once Levi had both his horse and Zephyr saddled and ready–taking the time to make sure all the straps were secure and the gear in the proper place–he took them by the reins and started them on slow laps walking around the pasture to kill the time it would take for Y/N to arrive.
For the most part, they behaved–Zephyr kept wanting to quicken her pace and move ahead of Levi and his horse, but he was able to keep her under control and in pace with himself and the black stallion walking just a step behind. His horse was mostly well behaved, though occasionally the stallion seemed to lean over to Zephyr and nibble at her mane when Levi wasn’t looking. Even when Levi gave a small tug on the reins to correct the behavior, the stallion simply waited a little while before he did it again, earning a scowl from Levi and a grumble about Zephyr continuing to be a bad influence on him.
Just as the sky was brightening to the point Levi knew that the sun would be appearing soon, Levi finally spotted Y/N waiting by the fence for him to finish the current lap, rubbing at her eyes tiredly and muffling a yawn, leaning heavily on the post in front of her. Levi gave a small tug on the reins, encouraging both horses to change directions and start heading towards her.
By the time Levi reached her, she was standing straight again, attempting to look alert after he'd caught her looking half-dead this early in the morning.
“You've been up for a while,” she remarked, voice still lower and rougher than normal, which gave away just how fresh out of bed she was.
“And you clearly just fell out of bed,” Levi responded, tossing Zephyr's reins to her. At least she caught them. “We've got a ways to go, and Erwin didn't give us a lot of time to get things done. The sooner we leave, the better.”
“I know,” she murmured, attempting to muffle and hide a yawn as she came closer to Zephyr to start making sure everything was in place. Levi watched, reaching out at one point to tug on one of the saddle straps to make sure it was secure and in place and eyeing the straps of her ODM harness suspiciously. Considering she was half asleep, he wasn't entirely sure it was as tight as it should be, one of the straps seemed to be at something of an angle…
Before she got around to mounting her horse, and while she was still close to him, Levi reached out to adjust the one sitting at an odd angle. His fingers ran under the straps while he had the opportunity to see how loose they were, before tightening them when necessary with a scowl.
“Are you always this careless with the straps?”
“No. Guess I didn't pull hard enough.”
“You're not allowed to do your gear half asleep, if the result’s this shit.”
“Are you going to come in and do it for me every time it's an early start and I didnt sleep with them on?” She asked, the teasing obvious in her voice.
“Fuck no,” Levi grumbled, giving a last tug on the last strap. She was an adult that had already gone through training–and normally he didn't see the straps in this kind of state to prompt this kind of thing. “If this becomes a problem, you'll be drilling putting on the straps until you can do it in your sleep.”
She rolled her eyes, but there was a smile on her lips before Levi turned to mount his horse. “It already feels like I can.”
“The state of those straps suggests otherwise.”
The only response he got was a soft laugh as she mounted Zephyr, bringing the mare around to stand astride Levi. She knew where the cave Emery was in, and how to find the entrance, but Levi was still taking the lead for the majority of the trip there, at least while they were on horseback and then later when they were dealing with the refugees, considering the technically superior/subordinate in public dynamic.
He'd have to do some digging to see if there was anything they could finagle to fix that so that they were equals, or as close to it as possible, in public and not just behind closed doors.
That, however, was a thought for another time. Right now, they had a journey to make and a young vampire to go give an ultimatum to, which hopefully would result in one of the positive outcomes, for the sake of everyone involved.
Here was hoping the kid would not only listen, but act accordingly after this.
The ride was a long one, and included at least two breaks for the horses. They technically only needed the one, considering their breeding and training for long distances in titan territory, but both of them had decided that within the walls, there wasn’t the need to push them in such a manner. Their timeframe for their trip could afford a few breaks for the horses to rest and drink, maybe even do a bit of grazing while Levi and Y/N took the opportunity to speak. Neither of them were trying to hold a conversation over the pounding of their horses’ hooves during the travel itself, so any necessary conversation before they reached their destination was done in the brief time they had giving the horses some time to rest.
She was nervous, Levi didn’t even need to try to glean that from her demeanor. She was going back to being more comfortably affectionate, too, which was part of the reason why it was so easy for him to tell. Her hands sought out his own, whether it was just to brush her fingers against the back of his hand or to hold it long enough to give it a small squeeze, which also allowed him to feel the nervous twitching of her fingers, the slightly cooler than normal temperature of her skin. She wasn’t very still, either, shifting to stand closer to him but maintaining a gap between them, still, because she wouldn’t hold the position. She’d shift to stand beside him, loom over his shoulder, shuffle to stand a bit more in front of him, shuffle away to fidget with something on Zephyr’s saddle.
It wasn’t that bad at the first rest stop, but the second was more noticeable and blatant. He didn’t ask, though, because he already knew. She was worried–worried for Emery, worried about what Levi’s approach would be, about risks to Levi if Emery lost control, worried about what choice Emery would make. She had a fairly long list of things to worry and fret over, but they’d both already discussed it, were already aware of it, and didn’t see the point in bringing it up again when they would just be saying the same things all over again. Besides, there was no point in fretting over it anymore when they were about to finally carry it out and would have answers by the end of the day, whether they liked the results or not.
Levi also noticed, as they were traveling, that there was more of a Garrison presence on the road than there normally was. It wasn’t so heavy that there was always a soldier in sight, even from a distance, but it was often enough to make it clear that the roads were being patrolled, monitored, and a military presence was certainly being kept amongst the people.
It could be preparing for potential trouble in the time it took to get the fucked up ‘plan’ for the food shortage executed, and it could also be in part because of the search for Emery. A presence this heavy on the roads would have made it hard for a normal criminal to get anywhere without someone noticing, and this level of a presence also meant there were plenty of soldiers in the area to react if unrest started boiling over without the numbers of the soldiers being blatantly obvious.
One glance over in Y/N’s direction told Levi that she’d noticed, too, and had come to some very similar conclusions.
The sun was starting its descent into the western sky when the mountain they were headed for started to loom in the distance. Levi’s head arched back to gauge the hours that they had left to reach that mountain at the speed they were maintaining, doing some mental math to make sure that there would be enough sunlight for them to properly utilize it for his protection while talking to Emery as had been their initial plan.
If not, they would have simply gone to the refugees, first, and seen Emery tomorrow before leaving. But, he felt rather confident they could get there with plenty of time to do the riskier part of this discussion with the sun.
Once the mountain was in closer range, Y/N took up the lead instead, guiding them off the more well traveled paths and into a more direct path that would lead them into the woods beside the mountains, and then into the mountain’s slopes. They slowed their pace so they wouldn’t draw attention as two soldiers racing along off the beaten path, and also to more safely navigate the terrain that was giving way from plains and fields to sparse forests, thickening as they grew closer to the mountain itself. The silence continued between them–comfortable, thankfully, even though the way Y/N was holding her reins bunched up in her hands in a tight grip that would probably destroy the leather if she didn’t restrain herself gave away her continued nerves.
They found a fairly well hidden glade in the middle of a thick patch of trees where the mountain started to slope upwards, and dismounted there, choosing it as the spot they would hitch their horses until they finished the meeting with Emery. Y/N wasted no time in making sure Zephyr was secured and that she had everything she needed, looking up at the mountain they were about to traverse on foot as Levi dismounted and hitched his horse nearby. Everything he needed was on him, not his horse, so he didn’t bother with the check she’d made. Instead, he came right over to her side, noting her continued distraction with her own thoughts and reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder, which caused her to jump slightly as she came back to the present with him.
“Out of your head. There’s no point worrying over it, it’ll be over within the hour or so.”
At best. It may take longer than that, but he was sticking with the general estimate for now, if it didn’t take them too long to get to the cave itself.
“Sorry…I don’t have much of a part to play in this besides making sure he doesn’t attack you, so I guess there’s just more nerves than normal over how it’s going to go down.”
Levi sighed at the admission. It was understandable, of course, that she was so worried about the ultimatum discussion being so out of her control, but again, it wasn’t anything she could do much about right now. She needed to get out of her own head while they headed to the cave.
In a few strides, Levi was at her side, shoulder brushing hers as he craned his neck to look up through the trees at the slope of the mountain rising above them. “Come on–we don’t have time to linger,” he remarked, and a second later he felt her hand slip into his. By now, the gesture was natural, right, and a part of him relaxed to feel it, giving her hand a small squeeze before he tugged her forwards.
Levi only led for the first few steps–once they were out of the glade, Y/N took up the lead since she knew where this cave was, navigating the slopes to find a path that both of them could make with relative ease without having to rely on her vampire abilities to jump an extraordinary high distance or leap over a gap no human could jump without ODM gear. They had their gear, but they didn’t want to have to use it unless absolutely necessary, since their cover mission didn’t really require its use.
The climb didn’t take as long as Levi thought it might have–the sun hadn’t moved too much lower in the sky by the time she pointed out the cave’s entrance. At best, they’d only been at it for forty-five minutes, at worst a little over an hour. Once she pointed it out and Levi knew that they were close enough that Emery would be able to hear them soon, Levi tugged her to a brief stop so they could talk one more time before heading in.
“Before we go in--can you keep your head and let me do this my way?” Levi asked, gaze fixed on her and watching closely for her reaction.
She shifted in place, the smallest frown flickering across her face. She was still uneasy about what that might entail, then. Levi wasn't going to expand on it any further. If Emery needed a more forceful hand to get things through his head, Levi was prepared to be that forceful hand. But if the kid saw sense quickly and he didn’t need to use force, then there wasn’t any point in dragging it up beforehand.
After a few moments, she gave him a tentative nod, eyes flickering in the direction of the cave. “Even if I end up not liking something about it, this is your show right now. I’m pretty much just here to make sure he doesn’t try to eat you and to see what the outcome will be.”
Good enough, he supposed. As long as she wasn’t going to undermine what he was trying to do, that was the important part.
Levi gave a nod in the direction she’d been glancing in, signaling her to lead on as he fell into step just behind her.
They didn’t travel so terribly far up the mountain that the trees disappeared, but they did get high enough that the terrain became more rock than grass and dirt, and the incline was starting to turn steep. As for the cave itself, there was an isolated cliff face hidden from the treetops and rising up above them that required a brief use of the ODM gear for Levi to reach, and a simple inhuman jump for Y/N to top before Levi. She went first so that Emery wasn’t startled by a stranger’s arrival–the situation was tense enough as it was without adding Emery accidentally attacking Levi at the start thinking he was an intruder.
“Emery? We’re here,” she called softly as she temporarily disappeared from Levi’s view as the cables pulled him up to the lip of the cliff.
As Levi pulled himself up to solid ground and started to get to his feet, she walked straight into the shadows of the six foot tall cave entrance in front of them. Deeper in, he could see movement, a roughly familiar shape taking form as the vampire, for the first time since the few moments of passing on Wall Rose during the Fall, came close enough for Levi to start noting distinguishing features. His mind listed the important things quickly–height, weight, youthful appearance, freckles, deep green eyes, dirty blond but unruly hair tucked behind sticking out ears–
Within seconds, Levi had a good enough look at him to be able to effortlessly pick him out of a crowd if need be. He could also see what she had meant about Emery still being a kid–Levi could tell just looking at him that he'd been turned in the middle of his growing years, some features more defined than others that still had their softer, youthful edges.
Y/N was still between Levi and Emery, with Emery quite a ways back in the cave and not, at the moment, coming a single step closer to the entrance. Despite the distance, the two of them were much closer than they had been on the wall. As for Y/N, Levi could see the tension building inside her as they all waited to see how Emery would react to the close proximity to Levi, her shoulders held higher with how tightly strung she seemed, coiled and ready to have to intercept a blind lunge.
Emery leaned just slightly to the side to peer around Y/N, faint recognition sparking in his widening green eyes and slowly growing stronger the longer he studied him.
“Wait, I know you–on the wall that night, and–aren't you–?”
Levi rested a hand on his hip–close to his gear and blades–readying a short response to shut down a slew of off-topic questions about Levi before he saw something shift in Emery's demeanor, the young man's posture going from timid and hesitant to still and taut, the now-familiar red glint spark in the young man's eyes as he stopped mid sentence.
Y/N was already shifting closer, a hand gripping Emery’s shoulder in an abrupt and hopefully steely grasp, trying to pull the kid's attention away from Levi. Those eyes were turning more red than green, and unlike with Y/N, Levi felt a chill of warning down his spine, his instincts rearing their head to tell him to fight or run–he was far more inclined to fight, but there was still the underlying urge to escape the predator in front of him that she was now trying to talk down.
“Emery, through the mouth, deep breaths, like we talked about,” she said, voice steady and clear, trying to cut through the blood haze that was taking control.
Emery grabbed onto her arm, turning his head away from Levi as the red continued to consume the green of his eyes, the exhale he let out coming out strangled and guttural, fingers digging in hard enough into her upper arm Levi could see her wince and suck in a sharp breath to bite back any noise of pain.
“Levi, back up a bit–if you can,” she warned.
Levi complied, but it wasn’t much–he was already standing close to the edge, and he wanted to give himself the space to maneuver if he had to redirect Emery away from himself. He had barely shifted his weight when the wind shifted behind him, blowing in the direction of the two vampires in the cave. He instinctively switched to a more at the ready position the same moment that Y/N stiffened–
As Y/N had worried over and apparently unintentionally predicted, a shift in the breeze was all it took for the young vampire’s finite control to rupture. Y/N’s grip on Emery’s upper arm wasn’t strong enough to restrain, as she’d been focused on catching his attention and trying to ground him, so it was no surprise when he was able to pull free with the wild lunge in Levi’s direction, the hand that had been trying to hold to her for stabilizing support now knocking that arm aside to try and get her out of the way of his mad dash.
The movement was rapid, everything happening faster than he could finish drawing a breath. Emery was lunging for him, crimson eyes having burned away the forest green that had been there moments prior, all four fangs on full display and ready to rip through flesh, a face that had been youthful and dare he say innocent a few moments ago suddenly twisted with animalistic savagery. Levi barely had time to raise his hands, to get ready to shove Emery back into the cave when he inevitably burned himself in the sunlight, ready to take the hit and redirect the young man back into the shadows when Y/N rammed into Emery from the side.
They both careened into the darkness, Y/N staying on top in a takedown that was more raw force than technique, pinning Emery to the ground with her arm on his throat and a knee in his gut to keep the young man down. Levi caught a glimmer of red in her own eyes–just a glint–as Emery thrashed against her, trying to claw, bite, and shove her off him with raw strength alone, his fingers gouging into her arms in the process and drawing blood.
Her expression, however, did not hold a hint of the wildness Emery now showed. Hers was distraught, but focused. Disappointed, but unsurprised.
Controlled. Something Levi saw not a trace of in Emery’s feral expression and movements. Even when Y/N had attacked him in the warehouse out of desperation, or when she’d defended him from the other vampire in the Underground, she’d been nothing like this. The closest to this he could think of was in the Underground, and even then, while she’d shown some of the more vicious traits lurking under the surface–the flash of her fangs, the hissing and snarling, the red eyes–it had no resemblance to this.
Even the other vampire that had attacked him that night, that had been motivated by raw desire to feed off Levi’s blood, hadn’t been this wild. They had both still been in control of themselves, of their bloodlust–the focus of most of Y/N’s efforts of growth, always about control of herself and her bloodlust.
He had not seen a vampire without control before, until now, seeing one too new to have any, seeing Emery lose all sense of control and be overcome by raw instinctual need to feast on human blood.
His blood. Too tempting for someone so new to resist, even unspilled when he was this close.
Suddenly, Levi felt a new appreciation for just how much control Y/N had around him, especially in the early days and when he’d bled in front of her and she’d had to resist so many times before, before she’d grown accustomed to being around him so often.
Maybe he hadn’t fully realized just how enticing his blood was when she’d explained it back then. Not until now.
Emery’s clawing at her arms gouged new lines into her arms to replace the ones that were rapidly healing–courtesy of the blood still running strong in her system from Levi–dark crimson running down both arms to pool on the stone floor and stain Emery’s shirt, and prompting Levi’s gaze to harden and focus. The young man didn’t look like he was anywhere close to coming back to his senses, continuing to wildly thrash and claw and snap in a desperate attempt to lunge at Levi.
They weren’t going to get anywhere with Emery like this. They needed him at least capable of listening.
“Let him go.” Her head snapped up so she could look at him like he was insane, so Levi gave her a bit more than the command. “He might burn some sense back into himself. If he wants to charge headfirst at me into the sun, let him.”
That was clearly something she didn’t agree with, a scowl sprawling across her features as she looked back at Emery, still struggling against her and drawing blood, fixated on Levi and completely ignoring the vampire atop him except in the struggle to throw her off so he could try to get to Levi.
“Fine, but I don’t like it,” she muttered, focused entirely on Emery as she held her position, giving Levi enough time to brace himself before she abruptly let go and backed up, cradling her blood-slick arms to herself while they healed and allowing Emery to make his feral charge towards Levi, unrestrained.
Predictably, Emery charged full speed towards Levi and right into the path of the sun, staggering to a halt a step or two from Levi with arms suddenly crossed in front of himself to try and block the sun as his skin began to steam, skin turning splotchy with read patches of skin peeling away and burning. His snarling turned into a sharp cry of pain as he staggered backwards towards the shadows on instinct, overwhelmed and confused by the jarring switch from wild full instinctual charge to the shock of agony bringing him roughly back to the present.
Levi followed the young man as he staggered backwards towards the darkness, only two steps away despite the fairly good look he’d just received of how tempting his blood was for the poor kid. Just before Emery could reenter the shadows, as Y/N was starting to tense in the background in concern that Emery wasn’t going to make it back out of the sun before he burned up, Levi took the young vampire’s distraction with the pain from the sunlight and temporary confusion from being so painfully shocked back to reality to have an easy upperhand in restraining him.
Grasping onto the young vampire’s forearms in a grip much firmer than the one Y/N had on the kid’s upper arm, Levi pulled Emery’s arms away from the shielded position covering his face, which caused him to recoil and hiss at the pain suddenly burning the more sensitive skin of his face. Not wanting to risk the young vampire turning into a pile of ash just at the mouth of the cave–something that was getting uncomfortably close to happening judging by the antsy way Y/N was shifting from foot to foot just inside the cave–Levi was quick to spin the kid around to face the shadows of the cave, twisting Emery’s arms behind the kid’s back in the process and pushing him back into the shadows of the cave.
Once Emery was safely within the shadows and no longer actively burning, Levi swept his legs out from under him, causing the young man to fall forwards, the wind temporarily knocked out of him, landing right next to the beams of sunlight stretching into the cave’s entrance, perfectly within range if the young man started trying to attack again. Levi used one hand to press one of Emery’s arms up into his back–without breaking it, though in a good position to do so if necessary–Emery’s other arm ending up trapped beneath his body while Levi’s other hand preemptively got a good grip on the back of the kid’s head by the hair so, if he started trying to bite him again, Levi could control it with ease and keep from getting attacked.
Behind him, Y/N shifted closer, but she didn’t try to intervene. He could hear her shifting anxiously behind him, though, staying nearby if something happened, her gaze boring into the back of Levi’s head–
He ignored it for the moment.
For the moment, Emery’s head was turned so that his cheek was pressed into the ground of the cave, but he could look up with one eye at Levi so Levi would be able to watch his expressions and track his mood shifts and make sure he was actually paying attention to what Levi was going to be telling him. At the moment, there was still more red than green in his eyes, and Levi could feel Emery trying to squirm and buck free beneath him, but Levi kept him pinned to the ground with his position…and with his raw strength.
Interesting…so a new inexperienced vampire couldn’t match his strength. That was good to know. Not something to let get to his head, though–he’d already experienced a vampire that matched his strength and a vampire that had strength greater than his own. However…it was still a point of interest he filed away for later.
Emery tried to lift his head, arm trying to pull free of the grip Levi had him in, but Levi shoved his head back down and tightened his grip on the young man’s arm, gaze sharp and for the moment indifferent to his struggling.
“Breathe through your mouth like she told you, and get your shit back under control, or that won’t be the only time you get some sun today,” Levi said, tone even and calm despite the silence of the cave making his voice sound louder. Emery tried to rear again, and Levi pushed him back down into the ground again. “Don’t–you’re going to stay like this until we’re done for everyone’s safety.”
Emery had already lunged at Levi with the instinct to kill and gouged the hell out of Y/N’s arms over and over until her blood stained Emery’s clothes and the floor, Levi wasn’t going to let him do any more damage today.
“Are you listening to me?”
There was far too much red in Emery’s eyes for Levi to be convinced that Emery would really hear what Levi was telling him if he started speaking now, so he had to check, first, watching for a reaction that would show him he could continue and his words would actually process with the kid. Emery snarled at him, a little more red creeping into his eyes, and Levi put a bit more pressure on the arm that he had twisted behind the young vampire’s back, causing that snarl to cut off with a cry of pain and more red to vanish as his face twisted up in pain. The eyes staring back at Levi had more green to them, now.
“Are you listening?” Levi repeated, eyes never waving from Emery’s.
“...Yes,” he finally answered, voice gruff and strained around heavy breaths passing his lips, red still gleaming in his eyes, but enough senses having returned to the young man for him to actually listen to what Levi had to say.
Good, Levi thought, the shitstorm this kid had stirred up and was threatening to bring down on all of them roiling to the front of his mind now that the kid was properly under control and wasn’t going to be breaking free any time soon, forced to listen to every word Levi was about to say.
“I hear you want her to do all the shit work and take all the risks while you reap the rewards,” Levi remarked, voice low and hard. Emery squirmed beneath him, red stained green eyes flickering away from Levi’s unrelenting stare.
“That’s…not how I’d put it…”
“Oh? Then how would you put it?”
Levi’s voice had turned deceptively calm and quiet, but his grip in the kid’s hair tightened as he pressed his head down into the ground with enough force for Emery to wince and shift his gaze back towards him, eyes widening in sudden fear of the man that had him pinned to the ground so effortlessly with the calm but terrifying tone directed at him.
“Because you promised you’d put in the effort to learn to survive, but when it was time to do your part, you had her do it instead. And it sounds like that’s how you want it to be from now on.”
“I…I just can’t hurt anyone–” Emery started to rebuke, but his voice was frail and cracking, lacking conviction in the face of how afraid he was at the moment.
Levi cut him off before that delusion could linger in the air. “You’ve already killed people, so don’t act like your hands are clean. This pretend bullshit that you can stay innocent if you don’t make any of the hard decisions is just making the shitstorm you created worse–one that’ll get more people killed and take her with you if you don’t start taking responsibility.”
Despite the distress that filled the half of his expression that Levi could see, he could see the red draining from his watering eyes little at a time despite the conversation topic–at least he was getting his bloodlust under control.
“But those were all accidents! Killing more people–on purpose–can’t be right!” Emery railed desperately. He wasn’t physically struggling against Levi anymore, seeming to accept finally that this was the best position, uncomfortable as it was, for the time being. He did, however, start to shudder beneath Levi at the thought of having to kill more people, having to purposely take a life, and tears were now disappearing under his lower eyelid and over the bridge of his nose.
“I never said it was right,” Levi corrected, his voice momentarily distant and pausing to let the reality of what they were discussing be properly absorbed, that he wasn’t trying to simplify and justify something this complicated, before his voice hardened again as he went back on the offense for Y/N.
“But it is how you’re going to survive and stop having accidental massacres. Do you think she wanted to? That it was easy? She’s had to claw and fight to get where she’s now, a fight you haven’t even started. She’s giving you the way she knows will eventually mean less or no death, but you’re going to have to fight to get there.”
“I-I just, I just don't think I can do it!” Emery’s breath hitched around sobs he was trying to choke down, struggling to get the words out around his catching breaths.
“She might have been kind enough to give you a chance, but don’t assume I’m going to let your refusal to survive destroy everything she’s fought for.” That was the closest to a lethal threatening tone Levi had let his voice get so far. He’d kept his tone steady and deadly calm this whole time, but when it came to the crux of the issue he took with Emery, the threat Emery was posing to Y/N and everything she’d worked to gain, that was where his anger leaked through.
“The military is turning this place inside out looking for you, vampire hunters are after you, and that’s just the topside shit that you’re dragging her into. It’s more than her life at stake if something happens to her, humanity needs her more than ever, and one indecisive brat is not more important than her safety.”
No need for Emery to know this was more personal for Levi than that. Y/N knew, but Emery didn’t need to, so he went back to the old, ‘She’s important to the Scouts and Humanity’ excuse that he’d hide his ‘She’s important to me’ inside.
Emery’s tumultuous emotions started to clash in his eyes, guilt drawing his brows together and making his gaze turn away, breath catching and holding around another shudder, this time of fear–fear of the threats closing in and the thought of being abandoned now when he’d come so close to not having to go through this alone, if Levi had to guess.
Now was the best time to present him with the choice in front of him, and press for an answer.
Levi’s grip tightened in Emery’s hair, pulling his head back to look at Levi more head on, and even though Emery’s eyes turned a bit more red as a result, Levi got a bit closer to further drive his point home. “Either you do what she says, fight to survive, or you can stay here and wait to die. You’re deciding, right now, so she knows if she needs to cut you loose, or can stay.”
The silence in the cave had a weight to it as Levi and Y/N waited to hear what Emery would say, the young man’s gaze searching Levi’s frantically and fearfully, red ebbing and flowing in his eyes like cresting and receding waves as he struggled with his decision, between his fear of abandonment and dying or his fear of taking life to survive.
Something gave way inside him, and a tear fell down his cheek. Levi knew what his answer was before the kid even said it.
“...Okay…okay, I'll do it,” Emery whispered, voice rough and breaking.
Levi held his gaze, searching it intensely to make sure he really meant it. “If you don't follow through this time, there won't be a second discussion.”
Emery nodded as much as he could with the grip Levi still had on his hair/head. “I know.”
That was the best they were going to get for now. They’d know if he really committed the next time she tried to teach him how to hunt, but for now…this would do.
He relented his grip on the young vampire’s hair, hand still hovering just above his head in case he needed to grab on again. “Are you going to try and attack me again if I let you up?” Levi asked, ready to get up and move but wanting to make sure Emery wasn’t going to start lunging at him again if he did considering there was still red in Emery’s eyes, red that told them the bloodlust wasn’t entirely gone.
“I…I don’t think so…” Emery said, uncertain. It wasn’t a great answer, but it was an honest one. And if Emery couldn’t control himself on his own, Levi would just head back to the mouth of the cave in the sunlight. He’d done okay restrained like this, though, had this whole conversation to adjust and get ahold of himself, to make sure he didn’t inhale through his nose and get overwhelmed by the scent of his blood.
That had been…enlightening, seeing how Emery reacted instinctively at the mere scent of his unspilled blood.
How the hell did he survive over twenty years in the Underground without becoming some vampire’s snack, again?
…or had he been, and he’d just been compelled to forget?
That wasn’t a thought he wanted to entertain, and certainly not right now.
Carefully, Levi started to ease off of Emery, letting go of the kid’s arm so it could fall back to Emery’s side while Levi shifted up and away, taking a few steps back to where Y/N had been standing and watching the whole conversation, keeping her promise to let him do his thing whether she liked it or not.
Between the now unrestrained vampire that had already tried to attack him in front of him and his concern that if he looked at her he’d see she was upset with how he’d treated Emery, he kept his gaze fixed forwards on Emery instead of looking at her for the time being.
Emery got back to his feet, one hand rubbing at the side of his face that Levi had pressed into the ground as he backed up several more steps, making sure there was a safe distance between the two of them. Even in the shadows of the cave, Levi could still see that red glint in his eyes, but it was slight, much less than it had been when Levi first approached.
It also didn’t escape Levi’s attention that when Emery backed up, he stayed close to the light streaming into the cave’s entrance from the sun still, that he was close enough to stick his hand outside and burn himself to snap himself back to his senses if the bloodlust got too strong.
The kid was a quick learner, when he wanted to be. Levi couldn’t fault him for not wanting to take life–the kid had a good heart. The problem was…it was going to do more harm than good in their current situation.
Y/N would figure something out, once the kid got more control of himself. She wasn’t going to leave this kid to collect the same high body count she’d collected during her forty-ish year struggle through figuring out her vampirism on her own. She’d find him a way to hurt as few people as possible, to take as little life as possible. It was just going to be messy, and take some time, and unfortunately, some people were still going to die in the meantime.
But he would trust her judgement when it came to that. Now they just needed to see if Emery really would take responsibility for his own survival instead of trying to shove all the ugly parts of it onto Y/N.
Once Emery was steady on his feet again, taking slow and deep breaths to help keep himself under control–Levi did catch him leaning his arm into the sun once or twice when the red got a bit stronger in his eyes–Levi spoke up one more time, gesturing to Y/N standing beside him.
“Listen to her, and if you do your best not to put her in harm’s way, you and I won’t have a problem.”
Emery’s gaze slid to Y/N standing beside him, looking properly remorseful as he moved to take a step in her direction, then thought better of it given it would bring him closer to where Levi was standing, and it was pretty clear now that distance was the safest bet.
“I’m sorry…that you had to kill someone the other night for me,” Emery started, voice soft but sincere, shoulders hunched and head bowed. “And I’m sorry that I’ve put you in danger. I promise I’ll try harder from now on–follow the lessons you give me, and…and take responsibility for my own actions and survival.”
That was enough for Levi, he was certain it would be more than enough for her.
Y/N left Levi’s side, approaching Emery and putting a gentle hand on his shoulder, causing the kid’s gaze to turn back to her.
“We’ll get you through this, okay? The first couple years are always the hardest,” she told him, her voice and words much more soothing and gentle than Levi’s had been. “But if you listen, you don’t have to go through them alone.”
She left the, ‘and you might survive them,’ part unspoken.
Emery gave a small sigh of relief, nodding in silent answer to her encouragement and earning a small pat on his shoulder in response. Levi crossed his arms over his chest, backing up another few steps so he could lean back against the wall of the cave.
“We need to talk about what to do about everyone after him,” Levi remarked, aiming his words more towards Y/N but including Emery in the conversation.
Y/N turned to look at him, curiosity in her gaze considering he hadn’t actually warned her there might be more to discuss before they left–or brought this up to her at any point beforehand. “I have a plan. It's unpleasant, but it would get the military off him, at least. It won’t work on hunters, though.”
Y/N’s hand dropped away from Emery’s shoulder as she turned all the way around to face him, brows furrowing together and a slight frown tugging at the corners of her lips. “What do you have in mind?”
“Let the MPs kill him.”
There were perhaps two beats of silence after his statement where the color drained from Emery’s face as the kid stared at him in shock. Y/N…he could tell was contemplating it, but her expression was anything but pleased at the suggestion.
“...What?” Emery asked in a hoarse voice.
Unsure if Y/N had the discussion about ‘temporary deaths’ with Emery yet, he decided to expound a touch on what he meant before Emery could spiral into a full panic attack.
“Not permanently, obviously. But if you die in a way that would kill a normal human at their hands, they’ll consider you taken care of and stop looking. We can recover your body and bring you somewhere safe before you wake up.” Levi tilted his head towards Y/N to indicate he was addressing her, specifically, again. “Any hunters on his trail won’t buy it, though, if they’re already certain he’s a vampire.”
Y/N was worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, Levi keeping his steady gaze on her as he watched her wrestle with the plan he’d proposed before she sharply turned to an ill-looking Emery, eyes apologetic.
“He has a point.”
“But–!”
“The faster the military stops looking for you, the sooner they’ll forget about you, and the sooner you can blend back into society once you get in control of yourself. And it would take care of half our problem. No, it doesn’t solve the hunter issue, but…but it’ll mean no more of these patrols out looking for you everywhere. It would take a bit more time and planning, we don’t have time to do everything we need to in order to pull that off properly right now, and I won’t lie, depending on how it goes, the temporary dying itself could be…unpleasant, but you’d be basically unconscious for nearly all of it, we’re the ones who would have to get you somewhere safe while you’re out, but do it in a way that no one catches onto anything suspicious–”
“Y/N,” Levi cut her off, prompting her to slightly turn to look back at him. “You’re rambling. That’s all shit for us to deal with later.”
Levi’s gaze turned back to Emery, who looked like he was going to faint. “You can think on it. She’ll come and give you an actual plan when we have one. But we need to know if you’re willing to do it.”
Emery was frozen in place under Levi’s unwavering stare, possibly unnerved by how Levi phrased that last part considering the talk they’d just had about following what Y/N told him to survive. “You…you’re asking me to, to die?” Emery asked haltingly, voice weak.
“Briefly,” Y/N corrected quickly. “You’d wake up, ideally after we got you somewhere safe, and completely unharmed. The hardest part will be making the ‘chance’ encounter look like chance…and that the dying itself could be…unpleasant, however brief it may be. But you wouldn’t have nearly as much danger hanging over you anymore.”
Emery was shaking, understandably terrified if he hadn’t died again since he’d been turned. “If…if you’re certain I’ll be okay, that I’ll wake up…and they won’t hunt me anymore…”
Y/N leaned into his line of vision, giving him a small, reassuring smile. “Don’t think about it for now. Just focus on what we’ve been working on, and let us figure out the details in the meantime, okay?”
“O-Okay.”
Once Emery consented to the tentative plan–or rather, the general idea of what they were aiming for–Levi pushed off the wall, heading for the mouth of the cave.
“Where’s he–?” Emery started to ask.
“That’s all he needed from you,” Y/N assured Emery before calling out to Levi. “I’ll catch up in a moment.”
He didn’t answer–he didn’t need to. He simply started to work his way back down the cliffs of the mountain and down to the forest floor. She’d probably catch up to him before he even reached the bottom of the mountain, anyway.
*Reader’s POV*
You didn’t linger too long with Emery, knowing that you and Levi were actually on a fairly tight schedule with how soon Erwin wanted the two of you back. Levi had said as you’d been approaching that the two of you would be finished within the hour, which had let you know he did not intend on being here with Emery long at all, and you didn’t want to slow the two of you down.
Still, you stayed long enough to make sure that Emery was okay despite how shaken he was, despite everything that had just been dumped on him at once and the…rough first meeting with Levi he’d just had.
He was far from okay, though he was trying desperately to put on his bravest face. Understandably. In the same conversation he’d been threatened with abandonment and a strong suggestion of inevitable death, had to accept he was going to have to kill people to survive and that it would start the next time he needed to feed, and been asked to die–temporarily–to solve only part of the problem of people hunting him.
Plus, he still seemed shaken by his complete loss of control at the start where he’d tried to attack Levi and had harmed you. Your arms were all healed up by now, but the blood was still on his clothes and the cave floor as a testament of just how much damage he’d done in his brief blood haze. At least it wasn’t the only change of clothes he’d had–you’d bought him multiple changes of clothes a while back in anticipation of him getting blood all over himself when you brought him hunting.
You’d tried to prepare him for this meeting, and it still hadn’t been enough once he was hit with the scent of Levi’s blood up close and personal, and he was still scared of himself in those moments, waiting until Levi had left in order to confide in you about the feelings that had taken over, the need to rip and tear and feast, and even a concerning desire to feel prey struggling beneath him.
The poor kid was terrified of what he felt inside him, and terrified of the thought of giving into it the next time he needed to feed–terrified of what he could become.
You were more worried about what he could become if you weren’t here to help him tame the monstrous side of himself before he went full blown ripper.
After many wiped tears and soothing words, the promise that he would be okay and that he needed to rest for now and you would talk more in depth about all of this when you came to see him next and Levi wasn’t around and waiting on you, after more apologies from Emery for failing you and harming you and trying to hurt Levi and assurances that as long as he tried next time then it was already forgiven, you took your leave.
You made quick work of the mountain cliffs, nimbly landing on one ledge after another with greater speed since you were descending on your own. The breeze carried the scent of mint, soap, and tea towards you, letting you know that Levi wasn’t too terribly far ahead of you–he probably hadn’t even made it back to the glade, yet.
Good–maybe the two of you could talk a bit before you had to head for the town barracks. You weren’t going to get special treatment there, and you weren’t going to have privacy if they stuck you in bunk rooms.
Considering Levi was an officer, even if the Scouts were looked down on…hopefully not. You hadn’t needed to bunk with anyone in a while, and you’d rather not have to bunk in a room with soldiers from other branches that weren’t so friendly to the Scouts.
In the next few moments, you caught sight of Levi up ahead through the trees, able to easily catch back up to him, especially since he slowed down slightly once he heard you coming. Neither of you said anything at first, simply walking in silence through the woods, the shadows of the trees lengthening as the sun started setting and the sky turned from blue to a burning palette of colors.
Oh, if you were good with paints, the drawing you could capture in full color with this kind of scenery…
Levi continued to not say anything, which wasn’t entirely out of the normal for him, but he also seemed a bit more…withdrawn, than normal, and he wasn’t looking at you, either–like he hadn’t looked at you all throughout him talking to Emery while he had him pinned, and hadn’t looked at you when he’d initially backed off, either. He didn’t reach out to try and touch your hand, though he wasn’t putting distance between the two of you and was allowing you to walk close enough to his side it would have been easy to simply brush against your shoulder.
He wasn’t mad at you–he had no reason to be, and that was a different kind of withdrawn, as you were unfortunately familiar with now. You knew he’d been concerned about this talk in a different way than you had been, though. He’d kept asking that you let him handle it his way, that you not intervene, that you let it play out, and the slightly more closed off attitude now, not wanting to look at you…
Was he worried that you might be mad at him for how he treated Emery? It wasn’t pleasant watching him be rough with the kid while Emery was still in such a volatile and fragile emotional state, and admittedly, you’d wanted to tell him to ease up a few times, but…
You knew he could have done much, much worse. He was still pretty gentle with Emery, all things considered, aware when something was out of Emery’s control–like the bloodlust–and not insensitive to the fact that they were still talking about taking human life, and that wasn’t a simple, cut and dry thing. But the situation was complicated, and with the options you had right now, Emery needed to take life to survive if you were going to help him, otherwise…
You let out a sigh, soft and slow through your nose, head tilted back to look up at the canopy of golden setting sunlight filtering through the trees. This was all stuff you’d already discussed with Levi. You were on the same page about Emery’s feeding situation and what he needed to be doing if you were going to help him. If Levi was worried, he wasn’t worried about what you’d already talked about. He would be worried about how you felt about his methods.
You tilted your head to the side so you could glance back at Levi out of the corner of your eyes, leaning slightly closer so your shoulders and hands brushed together, pinky and ring finger curling loosely around his pointer and middle finger, admittedly relieved when you felt his fingers twitch instinctively to curl around yours in response, though there was a bit more hesitance there than normal.
“Levi…?” you asked him gently, slowing down in your walking pace and forcing him to slow down with you. He finally turned to look at you when you’d nearly come to a full stop, and after hearing that there was no anger or frustration in your voice.
You took a step closer once he was facing you, twining your hand more fully into his own and leaning in to press a soft kiss to his cheek. His fingers laced tighter into yours, and you heard the softest exhale that sounded like relief before you even pulled away to speak.
“Thank you,” you told him sincerely, waiting until you met his gaze again to speak. You could see the tension in his shoulders relax slightly at the statement, and knew you’d been right in assuming he’d been worried you might be mad. You still wanted to be honest, but you were going to make sure he understood you weren’t mad at him, either.
“I might not have liked…seeing you be rough with him, but he needed the push, and I’m still grateful that you got him to agree to try–whether he follows through or not,” you told him softly. You gave his hand another small squeeze. “Thank you.”
Levi’s eyes–a steelier blue in the setting sunlight–were studying you, as if making sure that you really weren’t angry with him, or that it wasn’t going to come back and bite him in the ass later in some way if you were just shoving down your anger. You didn’t look away, letting him reassure himself and see for himself that you weren’t mad at him. Apparently satisfied and relieved by what he saw, Levi looked away, a soft, short sigh escaping him as his hand tugged you forwards with him to get you to keep walking with him towards the glade where you’d left your horses.
“I know how important him getting better is to you. But you being where you are now is important, too.”
The little smile that played across your lips was just for you, head ducked low for a moment as warmth seeped through your chest at his words, the unspoken extra meaning you read between the lines as the two of you walked in now comfortable silence back to the glade.
Staying right here with you is important to me, too.
Considering the two of you weren’t Garrison soldiers, you were given a small two bed room in the Garrison barracks to stay in when you reached Kempton fairly late into the night. No one had wanted to deal with the two Scouts arriving long after the sun had set for the day, so there wasn’t much fuss–they’d simply been shown to the room and left to their own devices. The two of you lost another hour or so with the cleaning to get the small room in a more habitable state for both of you, and you’d both agreed to leave the window open to let the room breathe more. After that, neither of you stripped out of your uniforms, but after a whole day of travel and the cleaning and not being familiar with this barrack’s layout–or willing to discover what state the communal washroom would be in–you both collapsed into your respective spots to try and catch a couple hours of sleep, at least.
Well, you collapsed into the standard issue not very comfortable bed, after shrugging off your jacket, pulling off your boots, and freeing yourself from the harness straps, setting everything but the boots as neatly as you could on the desk with your ODM gear. Once it was all out of the way and neatly set aside so you were certain Levi wouldn’t scold you for being messy, then you flopped onto the bed, arms tucked under the pillow and head turned to the side so you could still breathe, burrowing into the bed without crawling under the sheets.
Levi kept even his ODM gear on, turning the desk chair out to face the room as a whole, more specifically the door, and promptly positioned himself in the chair with an ankle propped up on his knee and arms crossed over his chest.
You didn’t hear or see anything else about what Levi was doing–beside’s a soft ‘Tch’ after you flopped onto the bed–mostly because it didn’t take you long at all to fall asleep, thankfully…
“Oi…oi. No sleeping in–we’ve got shit to do today, and not long to do it. Get up.”
Despite the more abrasive words, the touch that went alongside them was gentle, and helped your rousing to consciousness happen a bit smoother. His hand was on your head, warm and heavy, fingers threading through your hair and gently moving your head around to ‘shake’ you awake, thankfully not pulling your hair in the process. When you started to wake, his hand pulled away, hair slipping free of his fingers and falling into your face as you raised your head to squint blearily at him getting back to his feet beside your bed, already set to go, and with the usual shadows under his eyes suggesting he either slept very little last night or not at all.
“You’ve still got to get your shit back on, so hurry up. I’ll find out where we’re going and meet you out front,” Levi informed you as you pushed up onto your elbows, rubbing at your eyes to try and wipe the sleepy blur away.
“Mm-kay…” you murmured. Levi only lingered long enough to make sure that you were actually going to get up before he took his leave to go figure out where the two of you were headed, exactly.
You couldn’t blame him for the brevity–he may have been awake all night for all you knew, and again, Erwin wanted you back as soon as possible. There was still the return journey to factor in as well.
He was right. You needed to get up and moving, and this day needed to start so you could get back to headquarters for whatever it was that had Erwin trying to play it safe and keep you and Levi close at hand.
When considering the state of the refugees you were about to see, it hadn’t crossed your mind that perhaps, farther away from the southern territories, farther away from the territories that had feared being hit next, refugees would be receiving far worse treatment. If anything, you had mistakenly thought that perhaps farther from the southern areas that most of the refugees had congregated after the wall fell, there might be less struggle over resources and less harsh conditions, a bit more to go around than there was in southern Rose.
You had been woefully mistaken to assume such a thing.
Levi, being the officer between the two of you, was getting official updates from the military leaders in the area, hearing their viewpoints on the situation, and getting briefed on incidents they’d had–including, you had briefly heard, a vague update about the thorough sweep they were doing for Emery. For the most part, these discussions kept him out of the packed throngs, out of the thick of the worst of what the two of you were there to bear witness to, though even though he was occupied with the Garrison leadership for this area, you could feel his eyes keeping track of you, noticed that no matter how far you moved, Levi moved his conversations naturally as well so he could always be within a decent range of where you were, you could always hear him, always knew where he was.
You, on the other hand–you went to walk among the packed refugees, trying to see if there was anything you could do to help, anything you could hand out, anyone you could get help for. And in the process you saw some…rather awful sights.
Since the two of you had arrived at this particular refugee housing in the morning, a good swath of the able bodied were out working the fields in the morning shift. Those that were still in the now-depleted and used for housing storehouse you were now picking your way through were either those who could not work the fields, or those that would work the afternoon, evening shift.
People here were starving, their sunken eyes tracking you with envy that tended to turn seething when they saw the crest on your uniform marking you as a Scout, enough anger in their gazes to make you uncomfortable even knowing you were perfectly capable of defending yourself. Some were in a far worse state than others, and it didn’t take long to notice the pattern and figure out that the ones that seemed like they weren’t withering away as quickly were the ones that were still able to work–those that could still earn their rations. Those that couldn’t…
You wish it had only been once, but there had been a couple times you’d found someone lying still and withered away in a corner or just entirely overlooked in the masses you were trying to walk around, realizing there were no heartbeats, no breaths, and that some of the people who couldn’t work had wasted away and died with either nobody noticing or nobody caring. More than once, you had to get the attention of some Garrison soldiers to help you remove a body for proper burial so they didn’t continue to rot away amongst the still living and cause disease to run rampant in the already cramped spaces.
It feels like I’m back in the Underground.
As much as you wanted to help, as much as you wished you had something to give, you didn’t have the one thing they needed the most–food. You didn’t have any on you, there clearly wasn’t enough to go around out here, so all you could do was look at the envious or angry faces and pick out the bodies that needed removal before people started getting sick on top of everything else.
This can’t keep going like this. People are wasting away to nothing and there’s just…not enough to help everyone. Places are already neglecting those that can’t work, starting to let those that just aren’t able bodied die rather than use up rations on them. And even then, the workers are still barely getting enough to scrape by, I doubt the rations they’re getting are sustainable…
Across the courtyard you were standing in, raised voices abruptly cut through the miserable hum of all the people crammed together in the small space–a space that would have twice as many people shoved into it come nighttime. Your attention was drawn to the noise noting that it seemed the morning shift was starting to come back and the afternoon shift was about to head out, people starting to shuffle in and out of the entrances. The disturbance itself had broken out between two men that the crowd was trying to give a wide berth to avoid being caught in the conflict, most of the masses trying to move around them so that they could get to earning their rations or come back to rest after a shift that had likely started before dawn.
There was a lot of conversation happening around you, a lot of noise, and you had been half listening to the conversation Levi was having about how they’d been trying to move some of the refugees to different parts of Rose to try and lighten their burden here, but had been unable to find a place that could afford to take them. As such, the argument wasn’t entirely clear with how far away you were, but you were able to at least figure out that the fight was over an afternoon shift worker that had tried to take the spot of a morning shift worker while they were out in the field. Something petty, especially since the afternoon worker was supposed to be getting ready to leave now, but it was getting loud and rowdy, and it seemed like it was about to escalate to blows. So, you did your best to move with the current of the crowd to get over to the two brawlers and try to help break it up before it escalated into a much bigger conflict with far more pissed off people that would be beyond the ability of the Garrison to control.
You got shoulder checked a few times by angry refugees as you maneuvered your way through the crowd to the two that were arguing, but you ignored it, taking the aggression in stride and staying focused on the more important matter at hand. By the time you reached the pair, it had escalated to blows, and two other Garrison soldiers were also arriving on the scene from different points in the crowd. The mousy brunette threw a punch at the blonde that sent the blonde reeling into the crowd, earning a shout of anger as the blonde was pushed back towards the brunette. You lunged inside the tiny space that had been cleared in the effort of the crowd to try and avoid the fight, grabbing the blonde and hauling them up with your strength before they could reconnect with the brunette’s fist, while the two Garrison soldiers grabbed onto either arm of the brunette to help in pulling the two away from each other.
The one you’d grabbed, however–you didn’t know who was who in the conflict, who was the morning worker and who was the afternoon worker, but to you, it didn’t quite matter, you just needed the fight broken up–apparently decided he was going to take a much bigger issue with you than the brunette he’d just been sent reeling by, or even the member of the general crowd that had shoved him. At first, he just struggled because he was being kept from fighting the brunette–he didn’t have anywhere near the strength to break free from your grip, even if he had been properly fed. However, when in the midst of his shouting and twisting to let him go he spotted the crest on your uniform, the situation changed to something else entirely, and it was a much deeper anger that simmered in his eyes once he realized you were a Scout.
“You!” he seethed, enough venom emanating from him that you were momentarily taken aback by it, even if you’d been enduring the angry envious stares the whole time you’d been here. “One of those fucking waste of rations? We’re over here busting our asses for scraps, what the fuck are you doing to eat so well? Nothing!”
You were also unprepared when halfway through his rant he suddenly bucked backwards, purposely trying to do some kind of damage to you now instead of the brunette. Your reflexes were fast enough to keep him from nailing you in the nose, but with the fact you were also restraining him from behind, he still got you in the mouth with the back of his head. You felt your lip split and blood suddenly well up in your mouth, sucking your lip in to try and hide the injury so no one would notice when it rapidly healed. Still, the man continued his tirade, now trying to swing and hit and do some kind of damage since he’d caught you off guard and connected in one of his hits, and you couldn’t exactly let him go when you were trying to restrain him.
“What the fuck are the Scouts doing for humanity besides getting themselves eaten and wasting food that could go to people that actually earn it! Why do you get to eat so fucking well while the rest of us are fucking starving?”
Around you, you could hear the sentiment being echoed by the crowd, could feel the anger that had been bubbling around you starting to rise to a boiling point, hear more people getting louder about their anger about the soldiers they saw as freeloaders and wastes of resources in times like this.
Suddenly, you felt like you were in the middle of a pot you’d known was being heated up to a boil but hadn’t gotten out fast enough and was now sitting in water that was going to boil over and drown you in it if you didn’t find a way out of the pot. You were suddenly painfully aware that you were the lone scout in a crowd of starving, desperate refugees being whipped into a fury, and the Garrison did not have enough love for the Scouts to put their necks on the line to help you, especially if they’re own people were suffering from the food shortage, not just the refugees. And you didn’t have the tools or words to diffuse the situation.
What were you going to do, tell him you didn’t eat? That your rations went to double up someone else’s meals? Of course not. You also couldn’t tell them that you were working, that you all weren’t just sitting around doing nothing, that you were trying to do something, wanted to do something, and in your case there had been a lot going on behind the scenes that no one else could ever know about. You wanted to defend yourself, to prove him wrong–especially considering you’d come to the Scouts so that people weren’t sustaining you with their lives for you to just survive and do nothing with your life and abilities.
But you also knew that these people were desperate, starving, watching people dying around them, crammed into too tight of spaces that weren’t supposed to be lived inside of in the first place, falling ill, not getting enough food to properly survive on even when they worked for it, and to the public, especially because you hadn’t been able to be set loose yet, the Scouts really did seem like a waste of resources, especially in times like this, when the Scouts were on hold and weren’t being allowed to go outside yet so all they could do was wait–
These people didn’t care about politics, or if you wanted to make a difference, or if you didn’t believe the Scouts were worthless and thought they could do the greatest good for humanity if given the right tools.
They wanted to eat, to survive, and find a way to crawl out of this hell they’d found themselves trapped in and somewhere better and at the moment they just couldn’t do it and they were caged and desperate and dying.
Something you understood perfectly.
So you had no argument to give. All you could do was hold onto the man that was still trying to do as much damage as possible, trying to ram his head into your face again, trying to stomp on your feet or elbow you in the ribs, anything.
The Garrison soldiers that had grabbed his brunette opponent had already hauled him out of the small cleared space, leaving you alone in the now much smaller clearing that was closing back up with the throng.
Out, I need to get out now!
You had seen a crowd in panic when Maria fell, while you were evacuating towns. You had seen small crowds turn into mobs when people were angry enough, both Underground and in smaller scales during the evacuation and in smaller clusters amongst the southern located refugees. This situation was about to turn sour, and even though you knew it wouldn’t kill you, you couldn’t exactly explain away a very public death trampled or suffocated or bludgeoned in an angry mob, and your instincts were telling you that you needed to get out of this situation right now.
Trying to get a good enough grip on your struggling captive turned assailant, you tried to decide the best course to ditch the man that had turned his hostility onto you and to move through the crowd that was also turning hostile on you with the least damage, both arms occupied and head moving back and to the side to avoid another backwards headbutt when someone from the crowd through something metal, hollow, small–you weren’t sure what it was, but it was sharp enough you felt it cut into the back of your head, felt blood quickly making your hair turn damp as pain lanced through the back of your head where you’d been hit.
All it took was one. You needed to bolt. Now.
No longer caring about strategy so much as survival, you twisted and threw your weight into a shove that sent the blonde you’d been restraining towards the throng in one direction as you ducked your head barely in enough time to avoid another thrown object that nailed a different citizen in the face, causing more shouts to break out, shoving, more throwing–
You were ducked low, trying to disappear into the throng and get to the exit as fast as possible, one hand covering the spot at the back of your head you’d been hit, trying to ignore how tight and cramped the space felt, the difficulty breathing, how similar it felt to the cramped dark suffocating space you’d been trapped in forty years ago–
You didn’t know how far into the crowd you’d gotten, how close to the exit you may have been, but suddenly a hand wrapped around your wrist, seeming to reach out through the crowd and trying to pull you through it all.
You almost fought back, thinking someone had noticed the Scout trying to slip away in the confusion that you could hear turning into a full on bloody brawl in the space you’d left behind, but you recognized those slender fingers, the calluses from years of gripping knives and then hard ODM gear use, the strong and reassuring way they wrapped familiarly around your wrist and were now trying to guide you safely through the throng, to make sure now that there was a grip on you, that the two of you weren’t going to get separated.
Now knowing that you weren’t about to get attacked and that it was Levi trying to help guide you both out of the crowd and to safety, between his guided tugging and your following through the mess of people, you were both able to quickly get to the edges of the crowd. You could hear shouting and yelling picking up, the crowd having turned from going to work or coming back to work to now turning inward on itself as a massive fight broke out, Garrison soldiers shouting and trying to get the mob back under control, most likely in vain.
“We’ve seen enough. We’re heading back. Now,” Levi said, your sharper hearing able to distinguish his firm voice despite all the noise and the fact that he didn’t raise it to be heard.
You didn’t argue, didn’t question if the two of you should stay and try and help contain the mob. You’d just seen firsthand that the people were at their breaking point and the Scouts were one of the easiest targets for their rage. The two of you staying to try and get the situation under control would likely just make things worse and inflame a situation that was already trying to turn explosive.
You already knew the tone of the report Erwin was going to be getting from the two of you about this side mission to check on the refugees. It wasn’t even really about public opinion of the Scouts right now.
The people were reaching their breaking point, and something needed to be done to fix the situation, or it was going to turn into something much larger that was going to blow up in everyone’s faces if it was left to spiral any further.
Next Chapter---->
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