Requests: Iâll write for Attack on Titan (Prefer Levi), Sword Art Online (Prefer Kirito or Eugeo), Mr Love Queenâs Choice, or Devilâs Line. I am always open for requests, just send me a DM, Ask, tag me, anythingâI always like the chance to exercise my writing skills. Be forewarned, Writerâs Block is real, and considering Iâm going to be doing my best to give my best, it may take some time for me to get these requests out. Or lightning could strike and Iâll crank it out faster than you can say YAY CONTENT! Plus, if you would like tagged in pieces for certain characters, or certain series, just tell me, and Iâll add you to a tag list for the character/series.
AN: Also, congrats, this is the first time Iâve included not-yet-published pieces/works in progress to my masterlist. Hold me accountable, maybe Iâll get more of these suckers done this way, haha.
AOT Fanfictions
Survive Or Live (Zombie Apocalypse AU Series) (Levi x OC) (AO3)
Through The Looking Glass (Series) (Levi x Fem!Reader) (AO3)
Vampire!Levi or Vampire!Reader Collection Masterlist
A Demonâs Promise (Series) (NSFW) (Incubus!Levi x Fem!Reader) (AO3)
Push And Pull (Series) (Levi x Fem!Reader)
Different Breeds (Series) (Modern AU) (Jockey!Levi x Horse Ownder/Breeder!Fem!Reader)
A Quest for Gods (Demigod!Reader)
Persephoneâs Garden (Part 2 Demigod!Reader) (Levi x Reader)
A Soothing Touch (Levi x Reader)
Breathe (Levi x Reader)
Different Kinds of Gifts (Levi x Reader) (Request)
The Perfect Blend (Levi x Reader) (Modern AU) (Request)
Leviâs Pokemon Team (Headcanon)
Unnamed Mini-Series (Levi x Fem!Reader) (Development Stages)
The Blame Game (Levi x Reader) (In Progress)
Herculean Feats (Part 3 Demigod!Reader) (In Progress)
MLQC Fanfictions
Gentle (Lucien x Reader)
High Stakes and Pressure Points (Gavin x Reader) (ANGST w/happy ending)
Creative Spark (Kiro x Reader)
Heâs Mine (Kiro x Reader) (ANGST/TRAGIC)
The Other Side of Fateâs Edge (Angst Chpt 18 POV Gavin/Kiro/Victor) (Development Stages)
Donât Stop the Music (Kiro x Reader) (Part 1 In Progress)
Just letting you all know there's INSANITY happening rn so while I do have a couple event one shots already done and waiting to be posted and others in progress, you're all probably not going to see any posted until probably a rash of posting at the very end of the month.
Cause I have some insane irl stuff to deal with first.
Hi there! Itâs been a while â I hope youâre doing well. âșïž
3 and 4 for the ask game. đ
Helloooo! Im hanging in there, it hasn't been an easy couple....years, but im surviving đ
Anywho! Yes, the questions!
3. What's something you like about your writing?
I am very proud of my relationships, my deep characters and backstories, but most of all my detail and internal monologues. Those are what im usually confident in no matter how rusty I get with my writing.
4. Is there an au or trope you haven't written before, but would like to try?
Honestly, ive always liked the thought of some form of an Assassin AU, hehehehehehe--ive just never done it in any form or Fandom. I think it could be a lot of fun--i just haven't had a solid idea for one that i want to move forward with before đ€
Hellooooo!!! I thought I might hear from you for the game XD I'll be sending you an ask for this when I get the chance, hehehehe
But anyway, the questions!
The answer for 2 and 9 is ACTUALLY the same topic, so I'm bundling them together.
2. If you could sit down and finish any completely new fic without anything stopping you, what would you write? Tell us about it if you want!
9. Tell us about a WIP/Idea that you're excited about!
So, i got into a discussion with someone in the replies of a post about a Fourth Wing AU for Aot that got me really thinking about it, and I ADORE dragons, so I think once the seed was planted, there was no going back. However, as much as I like Fourth Wing, my Dragon Rider fantasy is a bit more ambitious than what I can do in a Fourth Wing lore format, and I kept thinking about until I came up with a Dragon Rider AU with custom lore that's a bit of a blend between, like, Fourth Wing, Eragon, maybe some Throne of Glass inspiration when it comes to how magic works, and then with my own little spin on it.
Now, I was resisting diving into this project, because I know it will CONSUME me, and I still have three longfic/series wips that I really wanna write, and only one that i've gotten back to actively writing. Which is why this is the series where if I could sit down and finish it with no distractions, this would be the project I would want it to be.
BUT, with the Levi Event next month, the last day was a Free Space prompt, and my mind immediately went to this Dragon Rider AU idea I had, and I have notes written down and I'm thinking the last prompt day for the event next month is going to be a soft launch/pitch for my Dragon Rider AU idea, maybe a one shot from Levi's POV that sort of sets up the world/lore/magic, maybe a touch of the stakes involved.
Now, 20 is pick any of the other questions you'd want to answer, aaaaand i decided I'd pick 10: What Genera is generally the easiest or most enjoyable for you to write? Which is the Hardest?
IIIIIIIII adore my fantasy and supernatural realms (Demon AU, Vampire AU, Ancient Greek Myth AU, Dragon Rider AU--) and I especially enjoy writing the dramatic stuff, angst, HIGH risk, action and conflict and magic, triumph against all odds no matter how dark things get.
The HARDEST thing to write, for me....Is modern AU stuff, or at least the slice of life stuff. I think too much of me longs for the action and adventure of the fantasy and supernatural, it's really hard for me to slow down and write the day to day modern stuff without any of the fantastical risk in the background--which is why when I do something with a modern world, it usually has some kind of fantastical twist to it, still (i.e. A Demon's Promise, Through the Looking Glass). I can write the relationship building stuff easily, the fluff and romance and slow burns--but i like it better when it's in the context of a dynamic or world that's fantastical in some way, and it's easier for me when i can move things forwards with those actors and contexts helping things along.
1 ⧜. if you could sit down and finish any one of your wips without anything stopping you (time, tiredness, etc), which fic would you choose? tell us about it if you want!
2 ⧜. if you could sit down and finish any completely new fic without anything stopping you (time, tiredness, etc), what would you write? tell us about it if you want!
3 ⧜. what's something you like about your writing?
4 ⧜. is there an au or trope that you haven't written before, but would want to try?
5 ⧜. is there a certain kind of fic that feels the most satisfying to finish? any reason why?
6 ⧜. if you were to write a part two/sequel to a fic, what fic would you want to write it for?
7 ⧜. is there a fic you wish you received feedback on, but didn't get any/much? this ask game is asking someone else to then give feedback on said fic, pretty pretty please!!!
8 ⧜. what part of [insert fic] is your favorite?
9 ⧜. tell us about a wip/idea that you're excited about!
10 ⧜. what genre is generally the easiest or most enjoyable for you to write? which is the hardest?
11 ⧜. if you were to rewrite [insert fic] with [insert different character/ship] how do you think it might change?
12 ⧜. what's a song or two you associate with [insert fic]?
13 ⧜. do you have any writing projects/goals/plans you're working on/want to work on?
14 ⧜. is there anything outside of your normal content that you want to write?
15 ⧜. if you wrote a fic called [insert title] with [insert character/ship] what do you think it might be about?
16 ⧜. if you wrote a fic called [insert title] what character/ship would you want to write it for?
17 ⧜. are there any songs you want to write a songfic for?
18 ⧜. how do you want your writing to feel to your readers?
19 ⧜. give a hint/teaser about something you're writing without any context or explanation! tease us haha
20 ⧜. answer any one of the other questions that you want to!
*noises coming from the back of my cave of hyperfixation*
*brief semi-coherent frustrated muttering about this is why I write long fics, cause i get too deep into lore and setup and buildup and its hard for me to write one shots cause I just wanna add more details and follow up and backstory and lore and i almost never write short or average sized one shots and most one shots end up being series rather quickly*
*shuffles back deeper into the cave out of hearing again*
(Or, Angel has been writing the same one shot for the past 6 days and it keeps getting longer and she's spiraling down a lore idea rabbit hole and is starting to doubt if she can cut all these ideas short enough to be one shots for the 27/31 prompts for the Levi event next month she has ideas for)
I may put my WITD writing on hold for a tiny bit cause the Levi event next month when I first looked at the list i had like 4 or 5 ideas and thought id combine a bunch of prompts and now I have a folder full of individual one shot ideas for all but 4 of the prompts đ„Ž
So imma be working on those instead for a while lol
AN: Sorry this has taken so long guys--IRL is going crazy right now (Of course, AO3 curse strikes again) and I was struggling with Chapter 37 until I accepted the scene I was trying to write just didn't need written and I just needed to summarize things and move on. Hopefully on a actually writing front it goes smoother from now on, but things may still be slow cause, like I said, IRL is going insane right now. Ah well, such is life, moving on, lol
Warnings: Language, Mild Spicy Thoughts/Topics/Discussions, Minor Consensual Injury
Word Count: 12608
<----Previous Chapter Masterlist
*Leviâs POV*
Levi stayed throughout the night.
He could have gone back to his room after she fell asleep, made sure there wasnât any chance for one of them to be caught spending the night in the otherâs room, but he decided tonight could be an exception.
Besides, he was comfortable where he was, basking in her warmth and the feeling of her resting over his heart, his hand at her side feeling the steady rise and fall of her chest beneath his fingersâŠsheâd fallen asleep so quickly when she was curled up next to him like that, he didnât want to risk waking her up trying to untangle himself from her.
He didnât fall asleep in part because he didnât want to soil the peace of the moment with the nightmares that would no doubt be waiting for him if he did allow himself to fall asleep. He was still resting, still settled into the silence of the room with her and relaxing into their embrace, he just didnât sleep, not really. At most, he might have started to doze here and there, caught between the waking and sleeping worlds.
The fact Y/N kept waking up from nightmares was the other half of the reason he didnât sleep. There were periods of time when she was falling back asleep where it would be calm and quiet, and Levi would start to doze near the end, feel his eyelids grow heavy and his vision blurring as his focus on the room around them slipped.
But then her legs would twitch, her hands would clench and unclench, head twitching as if she was looking around, small noises slipping past her lipsâŠ
He knew she was going to abruptly wake long before she did, and it would pull him out of his sleepier state and back into the present, already seeking to soothe her before she even finished waking up. Heâd thread his fingers back into hers in a reassuring grip, gently smooth the hair from her face before resting his hand on her head, keeping her held securely against him so that when she woke with a full body start as if she was about to lurch into action, she would find herself already grounded and safe in his arms, far from the danger, blood, and screams that were no doubt haunting her sleep.
She didnât fall asleep as easily after a nightmare. Sheâd hold him tighter, bury her face in his chestâsometimes heâd feel the slip of tears rubbed from her eyes and onto his chest, but he didnât say anything about itâand work on steadying her breathing, keeping her eyes closed. They didnât say anything, she didnât share what her nightmares were aboutâthey didnât need to. They both knew. If Levi had been sleeping, he was certain he would have been suffering from similar nightmares.
While she worked on calming down and slipping back into sleep, Levi would keep an eye on the room around them, keeping watch to help put her fears to rest until she felt secure enough to fall back asleep.
No matter how many times she startled awake, she kept her hand resting over his heart with her head nestled right next to it, curled up and letting the beating of his heart lull her back to sleep.
He couldnât have peeled her off him even if heâd tried, though it was the last thing he wanted. He was savoring this, the sensation of not being alone on one of the bloody nights, the peace he would never have found tonight on his own, the way having her close to him like this made him feel, the way having her fall asleep to the beat of his heart made him feel likeâŠ
He couldnât pin down a word to describe it. Light, like he would float away? Warmâshe always made him feel warm and comfortable, but this was special, this was something else. Bright in his heart didnât make sense and yet for some reason it did at the same time.
Whatever it was, the feeling in his chest at that moment, he wasnât going to disturb it or cut it short. He stayed right there beside her the whole night, dozing in the comfortable quiet and keeping watch over her and helping lull her back to sleep when the nightmares returned, long after the lamplight went out on itâs own from a lack of fuel and no one tending to it, until he started to hear the birdsong and the darkness outside her window started to brighten with the approaching dawn.
Now was about the time that he would normally start moving around for the day, but she was still passed out asleep on him with no signs of waking up yet. Considering her sleep had been rocky with periods of waking between spells of sleep, he didnât exactly want to wake her up, and he didnât like the thought of her waking to find him gone after heâd promised heâd stay.
He could stay longer. If someone went looking for him and didnât find him in his office, theyâd assume he was out and about getting things done for the dayâit would be a long time before anyone thought to check Y/Nâs room.
He hoped.
Lifting the arm that wasnât in any way restricted with her lying atop him, Levi gently brushed her hair back from her face, keeping his touch light so it wouldnât disturb her, and letting his fingers thread deeper back into her hair in the process, taking the time to feel the smooth slip of her hairâsofter than normal so soon after a bathâ between his fingers as his eyes roamed her sleeping features. His gaze traced the outline of her eyes, the curve of her nose, the soft lines of her parted lips allowing the gentle breaths to breeze gently across his skin.
She was beautifulâŠin every way.
His arm tightened slightly around her, holding her a touch closer to him, fingers brushing against the smooth skin of her side. His mind immediately started to recall the feel of her straddling his leg, the little noise in the back of her throat that had built to an audible, breathy groan as his lips worked their way around her throat, her body arching into him while his hands felt the curves once he couldnât recall places to trace scars anymore, the smooth warmth so soft and pliable beneath his handsâ
No, stop, not right nowâ
Levi blinked a few more times than he needed to, as if shaking the thoughts free of his mind by doing so. Now was definitely not the time for those kinds of memories and thoughts. Today was going to be a busy day once she woke and he got movingâhe had his report on yesterdayâs events to write, two sets of gear and clothes to clean, he needed to see Erwin and talk to him about what had happened, and he wanted to be keeping an eye on her to make sure she continued to be okay, or at least cope more healthily than accidentally almost shutting out her humanityâ
Not today.
Making sure she didnât break again was at the top of his priority list. He didnât really know what advice to give her about how to cope, or even if he could, considering everyone coped differently. Sheâd already seemed to have her own methods and had done extraordinarily well in coping with her vampire lifestyle and reality. He was hoping that now that she had her feet back under her and had been grounded, sheâd be okay moving forwards, that sheâd find what worked for her.
Last time something had truly bothered her, it had resulted in pages of haunting drawings of his near death experience suddenly filling her sketchbook, looking so out of place amongst her captured moments of the horses and the squad, her nature drawingsâŠ
Maybe that was something he could do.
Maybe.
It was dangerous to be heading out as a Scout right nowâtoday especially. The food shortage hadnât magically been fixed overnight by the sacrifice of the three hundred thousand, it would still take a little while for things to improve back to sustainable, and today everything was still raw and at the forefront of everyoneâs minds. The Scouts were prime targets, and stepping out into public was just asking for some kind of conflict to break out.
Heâd think about it. Maybe if he kept his head low and went out in civilian clothes, and made it quick and direct, he could avoid the worst of a conflict.
Y/N shifted in her sleep, one of her arms stretching out to lay more haphazardly across his chest, face turning into his chest so that her nose and lips were pressed against his pectoral, and he had to stifle a soft snort at the way her face was now smushed into him, the sound cut short by him holding his breath as her leg rose higher so her thigh was lying across his waist, clinging to him even fast asleep.
Closing his eyes, Levi focused on his breathing, on the steady in and out, on keeping completely still. He was not going to think of how warm and close she was, how right it felt to have her pressed against him even if it wasnât the most comfortable when she was partially rolled onto his arm like that, the limb starting to tingle and go numbâ
There was a fairly loud knock on the door, enough that it made both of them start, Levi tensing and holding Y/N closer at the abrupt sound, and Y/N startled awake with her head lifting off his chest, eyes blinking blearily without being awake enough to truly see the world around her, yet. There was light outside her window by now, yes, and most of the soldiers here that had things to do today would be up by now, but he wouldnât have expected anyone to be here of all places this early besides the two of themâ
âY/N! Rise and shine!â A familiar voice sing-songed.
He should have known.
âIâve come to claim you before Short Stack can hog all the cheering up duties. Youâre joining me for some experiments today!â Hange continued to prattle at a volume loud enough to wake Y/N if she hadnât already.
Levi scowled at the comment about him, glancing down at Y/N as she tried to bury her face in him with a soft groan, pulling the blankets higher until she had the fisted ends covering her hands pressed against her cheeks. Her eyes were squinted against the morning light in their own protest, undecided if they would rebel and stay closed or if she would crack her eyelids open to start to adjust to the morning light.
âI hope youâre already awake and ready to move, because if not, you only have until I pick this lock before I come in to collect you myself!â
The threat was delivered with a deceptively cheerful voice that let Levi and Y/N know that Hange was not joking, and was in fact prepared to force her way in to see Y/N and to do her part to make sure she was going to be okay.
Levi carefully untangled himself from Y/N as fast as he could without ripping himself harshly free and without making so much noise he tipped Hange off to the fact that he was in here. Y/N curled into a ball after heâd pulled himself free with a disgruntled groan, staying in that position under the covers for a solid few seconds before her head popped out from under the covers, nose scrunched up and lips pulled into a pout.
Hange had already run into them during their first kiss. Considering this was a single room private room with the small washroom off to the side and as soon as Hange entered she would be able to see the bed, he had to move before she got inside. He didnât want her to also run in on them in their state of half undress in the bed togetherâheâd never hear the end of it.
Once his feet had silently found stable footing on the floor, he leaned over to give Y/N a kiss on the forehead, scooping his shoes up from their spot on the floor beside the bed, leaning over to snatch his shirt off the floor as well. He could hear rattling at the door as Hange worked on picking the lock like sheâd threatened to do, prompting him to hastily duck into the bathroom and get the door as close to shut as he could without making noise, mere moments before he heard the door to Y/Nâs room swing open.
âI knew itâstill in bed!â Hange announced once she was inside, her footsteps crossing the room approaching the bed.
Levi drew further behind the door, just in case, already starting to quietly pull on his shirt just in case he was discovered. A quick glance in the mirror showed the usual shadows under his eyes after a sleepless night, but also smooth and unblemished skin along his throat despite her sensual biting last nightâthough the old bite marks were still there. As he buttoned up his shirt, he could also see that the bruise on his wrist had vanished, and every scar he normally didnât pay any attention to felt moreâŠprominent, this morning. Thankfully, he didnât think it was in a bad way. He wasnât plagued with memories of injuries and suffering. Instead, he was imagining the feel of her fingers and lips against his skin last night, treating each spot with tender reverence and providing a new perspective to view each unique mark on his skin.
âGo away,â Y/N moaned, the muffled sound suggesting she was burying herself into her blankets again to try and hide from Hangeâs approach. âLet me sleep.â
âNope!â
The cheerful exclamation was followed by a rush of fabric, and a strangled noise of aggravation and distress from Y/NâHange had likely just pulled the covers from the bed to keep her from hiding beneath them.
âYou and I are going to spend the morning together, and have plenty of time for nice, long heart to hearts,â Hange announced.
Footsteps drew closer to the door, and Levi quickly slid closer to the door so that when it opened he could hide behind it.
âDoes it have to be so early?â
âWhat are you talking about? This is the ScoutsâYouâve slept in already! And like I said, I had to get here early if I wanted to beat Levi to the punch before he could whisk you away to keep you all for himself like he has the past few months,â Hange was saying as the door opened and she walked inside, Levi sliding as deep as he could into the corner behind the door and staying as quiet as possible. He could hear water splashing into a container, likely the small pitcherâ
âNow, letâs hop toâIf I need to, Iâll encourage you with a nice flash of cool water.â
âYou wouldnât dare.â
Levi could envision Hangeâs mischievous grin in his mindâs eye as her footsteps came to a halt in the bathroom doorway.
âYou bet I would. Câmon, hurry up, before he intercepts us!â
Y/N sighed, the sound heavy and reluctant, but he could hear movement in the room, and Hange hadnât moved from her position in the doorway. Sheâd finally gotten out of bed and started moving around, prompting Hange to put the pitcher back on the wash basin counter.
âHey, I donât see your gear anywhere?â Hange called inquisitively before she bounced out of the bathroom, shutting the door completely behind her and allowing Levi to relax from his cramped, tense position behind the door. Â
âLevi probably took it last night to clean it,â Y/N responded without missing a beat.
Safe behind the shut door of the bathroom, Levi slipped on his shoes, barely able to make out the softest chuckle, coming from Hange based on her proximity to the bathroom door since she didnât seem to have strayed too far from it.
âAre you sure you didnât accidentally use some kind of vampire charm on him or something? Cause heâs all tangled up in his heartstrings trying to learn to play them for you.â
It was a damn good thing he was out of sight and was supposed to be quiet right now, because her statement had heat immediately rising to his face, breath catching and held to keep him from trying to snap out a defense that would probably amount to just telling her to shut the fuck up about shit she didnât know shit about.
âHe was just being thoughtful,â Y/N murmured, sounding further away. She was probably over by her dresser trying to get dressed in something acceptable for off duty but still doing things around headquarters.
âOh, yes, certainly, thatâs all it is, youâre absolutely right,â Hange teased.
There was the sound of Hangeâs footsteps moving across the floor towards where Y/N was, and he heard a soft âoofâ uttered by Y/N before Hange was speaking again around the sound of stumbling feet, the noise moving towards the door to Y/Nâs room.
âCome on, letâs get out of here before someone else tries to steal you away.â
âI really donât think you have to worry about that, HangeâŠâ
The door opened, shut, and he heard the sound of their voices and footsteps disappearing down the hall. He waited a full minute after heâd stopped hearing them before he stepped out of the bathroom, looking at the haphazard state the bedroom had been left in the wake of Hangeâs determined attempts to drag Y/N out of sulking in her bedroom and getting her to do something else entirely.
The bedsheets were at least tossed back onto the bed, though they were spilling onto the floor. One of the dresser drawers were partially open, the clothes Y/N had slept in last night were in a pile kicked off to the side in a bundleâ
Messier than normal, given how Hange had been rushing her out.
Levi at least took the time to make the bed, shut the drawer, and put the dirty clothes in their proper place before he slipped out of her room once he was certain no one was passing by in the hallway.
He needed to go clean for a while, partially to check that part off his list, but also to cool down and do some thinking.
Or at least distract himself from Hangeâs little comment about him and his feelings.
*Readerâs POV*
Hange didnât waste any time with detours, dragging you directly to her office with far more energy than you could currently keep up with. Youâd intended to sleep in and rest today, and having to abruptly be up and moving around, fully alert, was throwing you off and making you groggy and a bit slower to respond. Hange didnât seem to mind, though, undaunted by your sleepy state as she dragged a chair out for you to sit in and went digging for the notes from the last time the two of you had sat down to discuss and exerciseâto a degreeâyour abilities behind the safety of the locked door of her office.
âAh! Got it!â Hange exclaimed, pulling out the notebook youâd seen her use last time to scribble down her notes and theories to go over later. âIâve got to hide it from Moblit, but thatâs a lot harder to do than it soundsâspeaking of, would you be okay with telling him about this before he stumbles across the book on his own?â
You blinked, not expecting the question. As usual, your immediate thought was, the less people that know, the better, and the easier to contain the secret. She did have a point that Moblit very well could stumble across it during one of his purges through her room to try and keep things semi-organized and see if he could recover lost items that just got buried in everything else. Heâd open it to figure out what it was to put it in the proper place, and be met with a bunch of notes about yourself and vampires in general.
It made sense, but it wasnât just up to you. âAsk Erwin.â
Hange sighed, dropping into the chair directly across from you. âGuess thatâs something I can do when I drop off my report on yesterday.â
You grimaced at the reminderâthat was something you still needed to do, since you hadnât done it last night.
Other things had been on your mind last night.
Hange flipped open her notebook, flipping forwards past sketches of your fangs and scribbled notes in diagram forms to a new page. âIf you havenât done yours yet, either, thatâs something we can get done together and I can drop them off when I go see Erwin.â
You hummed, leaning forwards to rest your chin in your palm. âThatâd be appreciated. Thanks Hange. Iâll drop the report off to Levi later, thoughâIâm sure heâd rather the squadâs reports were turned in altogether.â
Hange hummed, scrounging up a pencil from the desk, leaning in much closer now that she had everything she needed. âSoâwhen was the last time you fed?â
It took far more effort than you wanted to admit to smother down the echo in your ears of the sounds Levi had made in your ear with your teeth latched into his throat, the feel of his body beneath yours and his excitementâ
âLast night,â you said, forcing yourself to stay focused fully on the present before you could spiral any further into the memories of last night.
Excitement sparked in her eyes. âOh? You donât mind testing your healing rate today, then, do you? I havenât caught you so soon after a feed before!â
âI suppose not.â
You held out your hand for Hange to take, sitting back passively as you watched her turn your arm around until sheâd picked a spot that wasnât going to hurt too bad or hit anything important. She just wanted to see how fast you would heal from an injury, not test something major that would sap some of that fresh strength you had just gainedâand a little extra you were still basking in.
After finding the desired spot, Hange fished around for a simple knife in the drawer of her desk, leaning in to see the very start of the cut as she made a quick swipe of the edge down your arm, keeping the sting of the cut short instead of drawing it out. You flinched from the flash of pain, but kept yourself still after that, giving Hange the perfect view of the cut that was closing back up already.
âThatâs amazingâand much faster than the last time we did this,â Hange commented in wonder, turning your arm slightly so that the light hit the healing wound at different angles as the skin stitched itself back together, the scar was left behind, and then began to rapidly fade.
âWell, it had been a bit since I last fed when we last did this. And Levi and I had been sparring, which means Iâd already burned through some energy healing from thoseâŠâ
âThis gives me a great starting point to work with for your healing rate relative to blood drank,â Hange said excitedly. âI donât really have a gauge for quality, but if youâre regularly taking from Levi anyway, I can at least use what weâve done in the past and this to figure it out for your current diet,â Hange was rambling, scribbling in her journal, drawing a rough sketch of the wound youâd just had before it healed for a visual representation of what kind of wound had just healed that fast.
âIâm not going to bite you, Hange.â
âI know! I didnât even ask. Besides, biting me right now would probably be a little over indulgent.â
Indulgent tonight?
You cleared your throat, looking away to pick through some of the papers on the desk while she wrote to distract yourself. âWell, when you finish with your calculations, do you want to go back into trying to figure out how the necklace works?â
Hange hummed, fingers pressed against the tips of the page to start peeling the pages back, likely to seek out her notes from the last time the two of you had poked at trying to figure out the way it worked, or at least get her finger between pages where sheâd need to flip to once she finished with her current writing.
âThereâs certainly some aspect about how it works that weâre missing, and whatever it is, I think itâs the crucial piece to actually make a new necklace work. It doesnât hurt to keep trying new things to try and figure out what it is weâre missing. There doesnât seem to be anything inside your necklace, so what we see is what we get, and yetâŠâ Hange mused.
You shrugged. âMaybe if we keep trying new ideas weâll stumble into a breakthrough eventually.â
Hange circled two or three abstract thoughts on her observation diagram, drew some connecting lines, and turned to face you. âExactly! What did you have in mind?â
As you could have predicted, the two of you didnât manage to unlock the secrets of your necklace today. It was always worth giving a shot, but the pieces for a necklace that the two of you experimented on still failed to yield any kind of protection from the sun, putting you back to a stumped square one, back to the drawing board. Â
After the failure with the necklace experiments and no new ideas to try out today, Hange went back to testing your healing rate, which was less fun since it involved variousâminor, consensualâinjuries inflicted upon you. Still, she explored a bit further beyond the brief bit sheâd gotten from the earlier wound, trying different depths and lengthsâagain, with your consentâto test the healing rate with different injury types.
After a bit of discussion, you sat down with her to sketch out some of your past injuries that were not the kind that you would want to recreateâsuch as Leviâs slash across your chest with the ultrasteel blades, or the sage-soaked wooden weapons from the huntersâgiving as detailed of a recreation as you could manage with specifics of when the last time you had fed at that point in time had been, how long it took to heal, if more blood had been required to complete the healing at a more rapid processâ
All details Hange soaked up eagerly to help feed her theorizing and analysis.
After the experiments, the two of you had sat down with papers pulled in front of the two of you to write out your reports of what had happened yesterday. The mood in the room had turned more somber, both of you quiet and working on your recollection of each of your experiences with the horrors of the day before.
The silence in the room was only punctuated by the scratch of your pens against the paper or the occasional rustle of the papers being shifted when you finished a page. Your eyes were unfocused as you wrote, the lines of the letters on the page contorting across the sheets of off-white as if attempting to form moving images of the haunting scenes in your mindâs eye across the page.Â
Not sure if it was stress after-the-fact or if you were still tired after your on again off again sleep, you sighed and leaned forward, taking a moment to pinch the bridge of your nose, as if the pressure could hold back the more visceral images in your mind.
Hange suddenly spoke, her voice filled with a soft and caring edge you had not heard from her yet that caught you off guard.
âI know yesterday was hard on youâI doubt reliving it for a report is easy.â
It was a gentle way to broach the subject, allowing you to answer and direct what part of the conversation to pursue if you decided to talk. She wasnât asking anything that you had to answer directly, stating observation more than anything, and she wasnât assuming anything or speculating with theories you could either confirm or deny. She left it entirely up to you.
As if delving back into the memories for your report didnât make your heart heavier with the revisiting of the bloody memories from yesterday, you felt the return of the compression of your chest trying to squeeze itself into a much smaller space as you turned over just how hard it had been, so you could give Hange a suitable response.
âIt has to be done, thoughâthe command needs all the facts in case thereâs something of discovery in someoneâs experience, andâŠand it will help with figuring out the more accurate death toll,â you told her quietly.
âWell, yeah, those are the more official reasons to do itâbut I wasnât talking about why they need to be done.â Hange sat down her pen, pushing the book aside and leaning in to peer at you more intently.
You let out a small sigh, looking off to the side and away from her intense gaze for a moment. âIâve dealt with death regularly for more than half of my life. ItâsâŠitâs an unfortunate constant companion for me, even now. Iâm no stranger to the gruesome, bloody, and unfair death in this world. But this was justâŠdifferent. Too much. I was drowning in it last night.â
Hange let your words linger in the air between the two of you, possibly taking the time to mull over what she should say in answer to that.
âAll of us are going to be carrying the burden of this for the rest of our lives,â Hange started. âIâve seen some bloody days in the Scouts, weâve suffered horrific losses in the past. This wasâŠsomething else, yes. On a scale none of us could have imagined, even those of us that have seen the horrors of the Titans time and time again by now. I promise you thereâs not a single one of us that wonât be haunted by what happened yesterday, and youâre not the only one whoâs struggling with it.â
Hange reached out to place a tentative hand on your shoulder, giving it a small squeeze and offering you a small, sad smile when you looked back at her.
âBut itâs not a burden that you have to carry alone. You have comrades who are carrying it with you, and some that would probably find some comfort in knowing youâre carrying it with them. The Scouts have always been about furthering humanityâs fight against the Titans, finding a way to fight back, for humanity to survive, to learn about the Titans and progress in the fight instead of losing groundâand giving meaning to all the sacrifices along the way. That weight has always been part of what the Scouts have to carryâŠitâs just a much bigger burden to shoulder, now. For all of us to shoulder.â
You looked away again when she seemed to pause in what she was saying for a moment, giving you the time to soak in what she was saying.
That was one way to tell you that you werenât alone, and that there were people who would support youâand that could use your help supporting them along the way. She didnât say that it would go away or one day youâd get over it or anything like that. She let you know you werenât the only one and that there were people who could understand and carry it with you when you felt it was too big for you.
Like Levi. Like Hange. Petra, who had already been worried about you before everything even happened. Anyone in the Scouts you grew close enough to open up to when you were having a rougher go of things.
âBesidesââ
Hange straightened, filling in the silence between the two of you before you could speak as she leaned back, poking at your cheek playfully. You couldnât help but feel as if she was pointing out a spot Levi had left behind, some mark from his kisses last night.
You knew he had kissed you there last night amongst many other places. She didnât, not necessarily, it was just a guess so long as you didnât react in a way that confirmed it for her.
Or maybe the intimacy of last night had left you hyper aware in a way that felt so visceral to you, it was easy to think that somehow the others would see it, too, even though they couldnât, and her poke had nothing to do with Leviâs affections last night.
âIâm sure itâs so tempting to just keep your super secret club to you and Levi for all the highs and lows of whatâs happening in your life, but the rest of us would at least like to be allowed in from time to time,â Hange teased. âHeâs been hogging you ever since you two made up, and the rest of us are going to band together and demand play dates.â
You shoved her poking finger away with a roll of your eyes, glad for the bit of lightheartedness to take away from the somber mood in the air and help lift your spirits. âAw, Hange, I didnât know you were so jealous,â you answered right back.
âOf course I am. You turned down my offer for you to date me instead while you two were going through your rocky period, and I missed my shotâIâm all kinds of jealous that short stack gets the gifted, sexy, vampire girlfriend.â
âWhy are you jealous, you have Moblit?â
âMaybe, but you have fangs.â
âIâm not biting you, Hange.â
âToday.â
âHow about we circle back to you not correcting me on the Moblit thing?â
âMoblit is Moblit.â
âAnd Levi is Levi, we donât have a label for what we are, we just are, so you need a better excuse.â
âSo you admit to you and Levi being a thing!â
âHange, you walked in on us kissing, you know thereâs been something going on, thatâs not a distraction thatâs going to work.â
âAnd donât I know it, you two were really going at each other. Is it always like that with all that pent up tension andââ
âOkay, Hange, different topic!â
Hange chuckled, pushing her glasses back up her nose from where they had slipped in her enthusiasm. âOne of these days, Iâll get you to share all the juicy details.â
You buried your face in your hand, purposely angling the side that Hange was on to hide your embarrassment the best that you could.
She wasnât getting those juicy details any time soon. You were hoarding them all to yourself, and you had no desire to share the sounds Levi made and the way his body responded to you, the expressions on his face and the looks in his eyes when it was just the two of you. Those were all yours to collect and cherish and keep locked where only you could pull them out to admire them.
Leviâs heart was not something you felt inclined to share the inner workings ofâyou wanted each beat in the rhythm of his pulse all for yourself.
*Leviâs POV*
Leviâs fingers still tingled from how hard he had scrubbed at the blood on their clothes this morning, smelling strongly of soaps and oil after his work on not only his gear and clothes, but Y/Nâs as well. Heâd put off writing his report a little longer simply because his fingers had still been sore enough heâd needed to give them a slight break, choosing to do most of his trips to go see people and check in on his squad members besides Y/N, Erwin, and Hange just to give his fingers time to recover.
Erwin was the meeting for after the report was done, while Levi had his attention and hopefully enough time to say what needed to be said before Erwinâs attention was claimed elsewhere.
Maybe. If Erwin was neck deep in those death notices and sorting the reports to figure out how many, exactly, had died and getting confirmations of death to the many that had lost family yesterday, then he might not have the time to sit down and talk about everything else that still needed addressed.
That was a problem to tackle when he was there. At the moment, Levi was working on the said reportâas well as the unofficial shorter report that would go into details of what had happened in regards to Y/Nâs vampirism, such as being able to hear the massacre and how far away theyâd needed to move in order for her to stop hearing it.
He left out the near-loss of her humanity not to bury and hide it, but because that was a conversation Levi wanted to have in person with Erwin, where his displeasure and disapproval with the whole mess would be loud and clear and not as easily brushed off.
This, what had almost happened last night, at least in regards to Y/N, could not happen again.
There was a knock on his door, softer and familiar, which prompted him to call out without looking up from his report, though he did shift the vampire version under papers where it couldnât be seen. Â
âYes?â
Petra slipped inside, a stack of the reports from his squad in her hand. âI have almost everyoneâs reports, Captainâexcept for Y/Nâs. I couldnât find her, is sheâ?â
Petra had dark circles under her eyes. A rough night for everyone, then. However, heâd be more worried if someone wasnât showing signs of some kind of stress or exhaustion after yesterday.
âL/Nâs with Hange at the moment going over Titan capture plans again. She knows to get it to me when sheâs escaped,â Levi remarked, turning his gaze back to his work after confirming who was entering. Petra approached to tentatively put the stack of the rest of the squadâs reports on the corner of his desk where they would be out of the way.
âIsâŠis she okay, Captain? I know she wasnât doing well before everything happened, and she wasnât even responsive afterââ
As easy as it was to simply say âsheâll be fineâ and end the conversation there, Levi decided against it. He didnât have to divulge the more private details, but heâd feel better knowing she had a decent support group to fall back on, not just him.
âSheâs got her feet under her, and sheâs doing her duties. Doesnât mean you canât check on her when you see her next,â Levi said calmly.
Petra snapped a salute, sensing the dismissal in his response and probably picking up on the veiled suggestion to go check on Y/N for herself. âThank you, Sir,â she responded, before promptly taking her leave.
Petra was the only one he was going to send her way, though. Hange could already be a handful, and Petra would likely drag the others into making sure Y/N had plenty of support from her squad after seeing the effects the day had on her yesterday. Any more than that and it might start to get annoying hearing people ask her over and over again if she was okay and wanting to talk about something she needed to be trying to move forwards from.
That and it was probably best she keep lying low for a while longer, at least until the food shortage started to ease up from its currently more dire status. He hadnât forgotten the looks heâd caught some of the others giving her when they thought no one was watching, and heâd rather any unnecessary fights or conflicts be avoided if they could manage it.
They didnât need dissention in the ranks, especially not right now.
Just another thing thing to add to the list of all the shit they currently had to shovel and deal with right now, though this one the best they could do at the moment was to try to keep it from getting worse. There were other things they could focus on while they waited for that issue to take care of itself.
Some of which were also things Levi needed to bring up with Erwin as soon as he got the chance to.
He hoped the other man could afford to carve out enough time in his day to address it all.
It was much later than Levi would have liked before he finally got in to see Erwin when the man wasnât caught up in meetings with other people. If he was going to go through with his idea for Y/N today, Levi would be pushing it if he went to town todayâmaybe he could get to a store with what he was looking for if he went faster than was strictly necessary and didnât dawdle, but if he ran into trouble while he was out amongst the civilian population, that could be an issue and he could miss his opening.
Not something for him to be thinking about right now. It was looking like he wouldnât be able to slip away today. However, heâd worry about that after his meeting with Erwin, which needed his full attention considering everything that needed to be discussed.
When he entered Erwinâs office, he was unsurprised to find it more of a mess than usual. Erwin looked like he hadnât slept at all, or if he had, at best it had been quick naps at his desk between stacks of reports of yesterday on his desk, as well as papers scattered across the surface to assist in the record keeping and data sorting he was in the middle of, trying to identify deceased soldiers and give a death and survivor count for the brass from the collective perspectives and accounts of the Scouts, comparison of reports of individuals that had been in the same group or area to make sure casualties werenât counted twiceâŠ
Erwin had the hardest paperwork job out of all of them, and Levi didnât envy him it. His contribution to easing Erwinâs work load had been in making sure his own report was as clear as possible, and including an extra report compilation that already did some of that work that Erwin was doing on a smaller scaleâhe had a workup of the collective casualties that his squad had witnessed as well as the individuals that they had rescued and the handful that they had been aware hadnât survived long enough to even leave the top of the wall. Â
There was even a small summary that spelled out some incidents of note from the collective experience of the squad, details of the behaviors of some of the abnormals, obstacles they had run into during the rescue attempts and suggestions for what kind of fixes could help such an endeavor run smoother in the futureâ
The short of it was, Levi did his best to make Erwinâs job a little easier with his contribution to the pile and tried to make it easier for the other man to work through.
And, of course, Y/Nâs report was now included in the stackâsheâd come by to drop it off before lunch, unable to linger due to an apparent promise in the hall to Petra to join the rest of the squad for their lunch. So, the visit had been only in passing, nothing much to show for it besides a lingering touch and a soft, slight smile to show she was managing to get through the day so far.
Theyâd catch up again at the end of the day, he was sure.
After making sure the door was shut behind him and that no one was lurking in a corner once he was fully inside, Levi went right up to the desk and placed his squadâs reports at the top of the stack he had just watched Erwin pull another squadâs bundle of reports from.
âThereâs shit thatâs not in there we need to discuss,â Levi announced, pointing to the reports heâd just added to the pile.
Erwin didnât seem phased, tired eyes scanning the papers in front of him. If he didnât know better, Levi would be tempted to think Erwin was just too tired to fully process what heâd said with how long the silence stretched before he answered.
âNormally you leave the vampire updates to the unofficial reports,â Erwin observed. âIs this over what that lap around Trost was about?â
Even visibly tired, Erwinâs prying and analytical tone didnât lose its edge.
âThatâs in the unofficial report. This is about after everything, and should this kind of shit happen again.â
Erwinâs gaze flickered up to Levi at the slightly sharper edge that had leaked into his voice near the end there, hinting that what Levi had to say was going to be a bit more charged than their normal discussions about Y/N.
âMiche will be here inââ Erwin glanced out the window to gauge the time by the sun's position in the sky. âA half hour or so.â
âItâs straightforward,â Levi said bluntly, arms crossed over his chest as he stared unwaveringly at Erwin. âIf thereâs ever bullshit like that we have to carry out again, donât involve her in it. Give her some other job as far from the massacre as we can get her.â
Erwin put down the pen he was writing with, leaning back in his seat to turn a sharp eye on Levi. That sharp look and the frown on his face was only the start of Erwinâs displeasure with that not-a-request from Levi.
Leviâs tense tone made it clear enough that this wasnât a request.
âYou know why she canât get special treatment like that, especially in situations like this,â Erwin said, studying Levi closely. âI canât leave just one soldier out of a mess that logically we would want present to help keep some semblance of control of what we can. It would be noticed, and easily chalked up to favoritism.â
âThatâs why I said give her some other job to do. Even if you have to make something up, make her part of a relay for communication with the brass sitting comfortably in Sina because sheâs known for how fast she can move. I donât care. Just keep her out of it. She canât take being a part of a blatant civilian sacrifice like that again.â
Ideally, there wouldnât be another massacre like this again where they were commanded to stand by and do nothing and make sure a massive swath of civilians died. But he thought more realistically than that. The situation they were in was a constant looming fatal threat with Titans capable of breaking through the walls, no current way to plug those walls, and no plan to reclaim territory in an efficient way that made the effort worth the endeavor instead of just an endless loop of a losing battle. If the next wall was broken through, if Rose fell as well as Maria and civilians were let into Sina, another sacrifice would follow soon afterâif they werenât all killed in a civil war for what meager resources remained, first.
There was still a possibility of the Scouts being told to ensure the death of a large part of humanity again if Rose fellâand likely far more than the over twenty percent of humanity that they had carried out yesterday.
She didnât need to suffer through an even worse nightmare of yesterdayâwith her heightened emotions, she might not be able to without shutting off her humanity. Then sheâd be lost to them. To him. And there was something worse about the thought of losing her while still technically having her.
âLevi,â Erwin started, tone admonishing in a way that made Levi bristle to hear. âEveryone is dealing with yesterdayâs events, some better than others, and some not at all. Iâve already got resignation requests I have to go through after this. If Rose falls, and this situation happens again, so long as sheâs a Scout she will still be there. I wonât give her special treatment because you want to spare her the pain the rest of us are dealing with. Youâve already promised me the relationship happening between the two of you wouldnât cloud your judgementââ
âThis isnât about my personal feelings,â Levi grit out, voice cutting Erwinâs lecture off like his blades through Titan flesh. âThis isnât about wanting to spare her pain. Sheâs a Scoutâitâd be pointless and idiotic to want that.â
Even if he didnât like seeing her in pain, that was just part of what they dealt with regularly as Scouts, she was going to be in pain far more times in the future, and there wasnât anything he could do to prevent thatâonly things he could do to try and ease the pain afterwards and help her get through it.
Levi leaned forwards, one hand braced on the front of Erwinâs desk, the other pointing at the reports as if to emphasize that what he was saying was partially addressed in the reports he just turned over.
âIâm talking about the fact that we almost lost her last night. If I hadnât been there to catch what was happening, we probably wouldnât have her at all anymore. Even if we did, there would be an active threat lurking in our ranks waiting for something to set it off.â
The moment Levi called what Y/N would become if she shut out her humanity it and not her, Erwin set aside the reports heâd been ready to get into before Levi had claimed his undivided attention.
Once the reports were back in the pile heâd taken them fromâLevi noticed Erwin also shifted Leviâs squadâs reports to the top in the processâErwin leaned forwards, raising his hands that were now loosely interlaced together to his lips in contemplation.
âWhat happened last night?â he asked, voice measured, gaze fixed on Levi, choosing to withhold his reaction until he had Leviâs full statement.
Levi stood upright again, gaze scanning for every micro expression Erwin may give as he got into the messier details of what almost happened last night.
âShe almost shut out her humanity by accident trying to cope with everything she had to witness yesterday.â
Confusion made Erwinâs eyes narrow slightly, eyebrows twitching closer together with the start of a furrowed brow, which reminded Levi that he hadnât brought that vampire ability to Erwinâs attention before today.
âShe once told me that vampires can shut out their humanityâtake the things that make them more humanâthe emotions, conscious, moralityâand push it all out so they donât feel anything. After having to hear everything yesterday,â Levi lifted his chin in the direction of the reports to indicate the details for that aspect of yesterdayâs series of horrific events was in there, âshe was trying to cope, and started accidentally shutting out her humanity. I caught it before she could shut it out fully and managed to bring her back to herself, but it was close.â
The sight of her vanishing right in front of him, the light and warmth bleeding out of her eyes and leaving a cold and empty chasm behind where her soul had been mere moments before, still made his heart rate pick up and his breaths come sharper, cutting against the constriction of his throat as the echo of the fear he felt in that moment crawled beneath his skin again.
Displeasure was one way to describe the look that was now etched into Erwinâs face. He certainly wasnât happy about what he was hearing.
âWhy wasn't this ability brought to my attention sooner?â Erwin asked, his tone terse, admonishing, and even with a sharp edge to it.
That was on Levi--he was the one who gave Erwin the updates on her vampirism.
âWe didnât know it was something that could happen accidentally, and she didnât know how to do it,â Levi explained. He only hesitated to speak for a beat, wary of the fact Erwin had called it an ability and not, say, a risk. âShe said it took something worse than what pushed a vampire to shut out their humanity to let it back in, and theyâd get hit with all the shit at once. Itâs not worth it in her eyes, and the thought of who sheâd be without her humanity or what itâd take to get her to let it back in scared her. Sheâs not going to do it purposely. If sheâd shut out her humanity for this, what it took to snap her out of it would be a nightmareâif we even could.â
As he spoke and Erwin had time to turn over this new information in his mind, Levi could swear he saw that cool, calculating glimmer enter Erwinâs gaze. It was that look in his eyes that told Levi he was gambling and contemplating dangerous moves that others may deem insane.
If Erwin was weighing the possibility of weaponizing that no-humanity version of Y/N, Levi was going to shut that shit down now before the idea could get too rooted into that big brain of his.
âDonât even think about itâitâd be the worst idea youâd ever had.â Leviâs tone was cutting, the words leaving no room for debate.
Erwin raised a brow at Levi's abrupt scolding. âI didnât say anything.â
Levi wasnât going to buy that faux innocence, not for a second.
âHer whole reason for being here and any respect she has for command, us, and basic respect for human life is rooted in her humanity. You think sheâs going to give a shit about the Scouts and their mission, or even care about sticking around if sheâs lacking her humanity? Because what was staring back at me when she almost shut it out sure as hell wonât.â
Her guilt over all the people sheâd killed to survive and her value of human life and desire to protect it had driven her here. Her morality not to harm people if she could help it and to muffle the worst of her vampirism came from her horror at seeing how monstrous and destructive vampires could be. Â
There was a respect for the people around her and the chain of command that caused her to ask and consider those involved or affected when making weightier decisions (and she had the time to do so). All of that went out the window without her humanity, and he doubted sheâd stay for the Scouts or give a damn about what they thought or said.
And he knew she wouldnât give a damn about him without her humanity. Well, not him as a person. Sheâd sure as shit still want his blood, though she wouldnât care for him or his safety and comfort, and things would get messy fast.
âThatâs not the first time you havenât referred to her as a personâin this scenario,â Erwin amended when he saw the sharp look on Leviâs face at the suggestion that Levi was calling her an it/that/thing.
No, his mind had already drawn up a clear and sharp distinction between Y/N and the thing she almost became last night. Those werenât just different people, they were different entities.
âI got a glimpse of what sheâd be without her humanity, and it sure as shit wasnât her,â Levi stressed. âThat was more like what Iâd thought she was before she came clean.â
Erwin sighed, letting his hands drop back to the desk. The other man almost lookedâŠdisappointed.
Levi seriously hoped the disappointment was because heâd accepted the risk wasnât worth trying to weaponize a no-humanity Y/N.
âWellâŠI suppose hearing you speak so clearly about a threat she could pose and not pulling your punches on how you phrase it is some reassurance that youâre not letting your relationship with her cloud your judgementâthough not mentioning this was something vampires could do earlier is still a concern.â
Levi blinked, taken aback not only by the nonchalance in Erwinâs tone as he said it, but by the fact that was the track that Erwin chose to take in this exact momentâanother comment about the relationship between Levi and Y/N.
âAre you fucking serious?â
He wasnât sure if Erwin was actually being an asshole or choosing right now of all times to test him again over their relationship. He knew Erwin still wasnât convinced that a relationship between the two of them wasnât going to get in the way of their duties as Scouts, but now wasnât exactly the time to be pressing that.
He hoped it wasnât supposed to be a distraction to keep him from potentially seeing that Erwin hadnât let go of whatever thought had been brewing in his mind about Y/Nâs ability to shut out her humanity, because if it was, heâd hate that it was working.
Erwin ignored his exclamation and plowed right on ahead with the topic.
âAnd if you were with her through the night, that also answers why you werenât in your quarters this morning when I came looking for you. However, if you two are officially spending nights with one another, and not just to monitor recoveries, then itâs about time we had an official talk about this, yes?â Erwin asked, gaze fixated unabashedly on Levi as if he hadnât just implied that Levi and Y/N were having sex.
He had to bite back a scathing remark about it being none of Erwinâs fucking business what happened in their bedrooms, because unfortunately, to a small degree, it was. Not in the details, fuck no, but knowing where their relationship was, if it was at the point they needed to start filling out some pain in the ass paperwork about their relationship to clarify there wasnât some kind of toxic abuse of power/power imbalance/career gain aspect in their relationship occurring, and that it wasnât negatively impacting their ability to do their duties if anybody came asking.
The line had been blurry until recently, with neither of them knowing what to label their relationship besides the fact they were getting closer and more affectionate. Now it was blatantly intimate, borderline sexual, more defined as clearly romantic, intensifying and deepening with no sign of letting up any time soon.
Which meant it was about time to be making that official statement of a relationship so that all necessary ass covering could be done and Erwin could prove proper channels had been taken and Scout Leadershipâor rather, Erwin, as he was the only one above Levi in Scout Command structureâhad been aware of and made sure there wasnât anything untoward happening, especially since, currently, she was still technically his subordinate in public and on paper.
This wasnât something heâd thought heâd need to worry about since joining the Scouts, and nobody in his care had started a relationship that he had to handle, so admittedly, he didnât know the first thing about what, exactly, would be expected from him and Y/N, just that there was a protocol for these kinds of things, it involved paperwork, and the kinds of things they looked for.
Part of him may have been hoping that by the time their relationship developed into something more concretely romantic, sheâd be his equal publicly and on paper as well so they wouldnât have to worry about this shit, but here they were.
âWhatâs there to say?â Levi asked rhetorically, folding his arms across his chest and moving so that he was leaned against one of the sturdier seats in Erwinâs office, a frown on his face and gaze fixed on the bookshelf across from him instead of at Erwin.
The damn thing was just as much of a mess as the rest of the room, though doing something about it right now would be pointless, since this room was going to be in a constant state of utter disaster until Erwin was finished with handling the aftermath of yesterdayâs operation.
Then he could straighten it up, and it would only go to the usual disaster afterwards.
Levi heard rustling paper, a drawer opening, the sound of a file dropping to the desk. He was tempted to look, but didnât, stubbornly keeping his gaze averted since he knew there were a bunch of questions about his relationship with Y/N incoming.
âThis should go faster than it normally wouldâIâve already had parts of the file for this prepared since you two started getting closer. Iâll just need you and her to confirm and fill in certain details,â Erwin said calmly, the sound of papers being spread across his desk confirming that heâd had fairly detailed paperwork already prepared and waiting for this conversation.
What the fuck.
âNowâŠhave you entered into a romantic relationship with your subordinate, Y/N L/N?â
He fucking hated hearing Erwin call her his subordinate when they both knew she was his fucking equalâhearing Erwin phrase it that way made their relationship sound filthy.
âYes,â Levi grit out, leaving out the complaint about the phrasing since, again, at the moment, they were superior and subordinate on paper and in public.
âHow long ago?â
When did it become a romantic relationship? How was he supposed to know that? What were the qualifiers? Was it when they had their first kiss? The first time heâd gotten erect from more than just how good it felt for her to bite him? The first time theyâd been kissing and it got particularly heated? The first time heâd felt sex might be on the table? What was the point in his mind there was no denying the fact he was getting in deep with her and what was forming between the two of them wasnât going to be anything other than romantic?
Most of those milestones happened in the same stretch of time, so his best guess would beâŠ
âA couple months ago.â
He could feel Erwinâs gaze on him, already knew what he was thinking was about how it probably wouldnât look good that theyâd waited a couple months to inform command of their relationshipâ
âLuckily I already have it in here that I was aware that a relationship was developing between the two of you and you werenât trying to hide it from me,â Erwin murmured. âI already have it established that her advancements have been based on individual ability and merit and not on the relationship between the two of you, but I still have to confirm if you two are in a sexual relationshipââ
âFucking hell, Erwin, you donât really need that shit, do you?â
âIt establishes that you didnât give or suggest her for any of her advancements for sexual favors because there was no sexual relationship at the time, or if there was, weâll need to clarify that there was no discussion suggesting such an exchange or that it didnât influence your thinking one way or another,â Erwin returned calmly. âSo, again, is your relationship sexualââ
âNo! Fuck, Erwin.â
Not yet, a little voice whispered in the back of his mind, which he promptly attempted to smother the life out of as quickly as possible. Tried not to think of her legs wrapped around his waist last night, arching against his body, pressed up against the bulge in his pantsâ
Fuck.
Not yet.
To make matters worse, Levi happened to glance over at Erwin in his exasperation and managed to catch a look on Erwinâs face that told him that Erwin didnât entirely believe him. It was true, and thankfully meant no more probing in that area and that her advancements wouldnât be called into question, so it made this easier, and yet, Erwin didnât seem convinced.
âWeâre not fucking, so you can get that constipated look off your shitty face,â Levi snapped.
Erwin sighed, taking the time to write in the details Levi had just given him into his already partially completed report, the silence in the room giving Levi a few seconds to simmer back down.
âAre there plans to continue your relationship?â
âYes.â
âAre you conscious of and taking steps to mitigate the risk of your relationship coming into conflict with the duties given to you?â
âYou ask me about it all the fucking time.â
âLevi.â
âYes. We already fucking talked about it, and you ask me about it regularly, and I already asked you about seeing if we could make us equals an official thing and not just behind closed doors, you know this shit.â
âI still need to confirm it with you. And if you two havenât gotten physical, thereâs not a risk of sexual favors yet, and thereâs plans to move her out of the position of your subordinate, that solves the issue going forwards.â
That pulled Levi out of his sulking and made him look over at Erwin, who was organizing the papers for this file heâd been keeping and going back over what heâd already written to make corrections where he needed to. Bastard had probably assumed the relationship was already sexual.
âYou settled on something, then?â
Erwin hummed. âAn idea or two. At the moment I donât have any of it in front of me, but when this,â he gestured around him at the paperwork for yesterdayâs operation that he was drowning in, âis finished, Iâll have you both in here to discuss the specifics. In the meantime, ask her about her thoughts on holding a leadership positionâin general. No matter whatâs decided, sheâs going to be in a position of authority with this new position; and the sooner you do it and get back to me, the better.â
âWhat, youâve got a deadline to make or something?â
âThereâs an event coming upâfar enough away to give time for the dust to settle from this operation, but still soon. We need to start gathering support for the expeditions again, and I want to bring both of you with me. Ideally, that will be when her new titleâwhatever we settle onâwill be made public.â
It hadnât even been twenty-four hours since yesterdayâs nightmare, he was still surrounded by the reports of overwhelming death, and Erwin was already thinking about the next operation, the next expedition, gathering money and support and how to sway the pigs in the upper class into forking over the funds and support they needed to get outside Rose.
Leviâs nose wrinkled slightly at the prospect of having to go to another one of those damn events, as if he could already smell the bullshit he was going to have to swallow and tolerate for a whole evening.
âHow fancy?â
âMitras.â
Shit.
He hated these thingsâthose over-polished shitstains were so far detached from the reality of the world they were all living in, it made him sick. And Mitras was the worst. One of the outlying districts of Sina might have been more tolerable, like Stohess, but instead they were going straight to Mitras for the very first one.
Plus, clearly if Erwin was bringing Levi and Y/N, they were meant to be shown off, the best of the best, the reason why the Scouts were going to succeed and the ones responsible for their growing successâideally, once they got out there again. Y/N had already been improving the odds for the Scouts, but they hadnât had the time to confirm it and get the numbers and the stats to back it up before the walls fell. And, it would be just their luck for the issues to start cropping up after making a claim that their survivability and success rates were about to get drastically better.
Still, Erwin seemed to have decided that adding her to the flaunting to the swine of Mitras to get what they needed for their cause was a risk worth taking. Either the potential benefits outweighed the risk in his mind, or Erwin had that much faith in her abilities, despite how long it had been since theyâd been able to put them to work out beyond the walls.
âYouâre really going to debut whatever this special position is that you have in mind for her at this shitty thing?â
âIn part. Iâm going to inform our internal command, first, and explain the specifics before we make any larger public announcements.â
Leviâs eyes narrowed slightly. âHow much is this idea of yours going to shake up our command?â
Erwin hummed thoughtfully, though there was a small frown on his lips. âWeâll know when the others hear. I had to come up with something new, between needing to get her out from being your subordinate, needing to give her a position that allowed her to exercise her judgement with her vampire abilities but still respected the command structureâPromoting her to existing positions only created new problems about who would be put under her command that would involve drastic or pointless regrouping. You already called her your right hand in publicâyes, that made it back to meâbut that would still put you two in the same position that has us filling out this paperwork to make sure you two donât get in trouble for your relationship. Sheâs more your counterpart than anythingââ
âGet to the point, Erwin, I know you already have something specific in mind,â Levi cut in with annoyance.
He didnât need the thought process behind it, Levi had been the one to suggest she get a position that put her in a proper position as his equal a while ago, he knew the reasoning already.
Erwin interlocked his fingers in front of him once more, elbows propped up on the desk on either side of the documents beneath him. âI have a work in progress for an independent position that would allow her to act at her own discretion based on the knowledge of her vampire abilities the others donât have, be attached to whichever squad sheâs needed in such as with yours while acting as our point or with Hangeâs during research focused expeditions, but still includes accountability and answering to higher command, with safeguards so that she canât always undermine the other officers. Iâm still drafting the rules and protocol for such a position, but, itâs nearly finished.â
âHow long before weâre dragged to this shitty thing? We still have to deal with the Emery situation now that this bigger mess is behind us.â
If Erwin already almost had her new position figured out, it could be closer than they wanted it to beâthere were still things that needed to be done sooner rather than later that were going to take some time, Emery being at the top of the list.
Erwin frowned at the reminder of the young vampire that had fallen into the background with everything happening on the Scout side of things. âYou have a few monthsâtime for her to get the proper attire if she needs to, time for us to smooth out the details for her new position, time to finish dealing with the aftermath of yesterday. Depending on what you two have in mind for how to handle the situation with the young vampire, you should be able to find the time to do so. Do the two of you have an idea of how to handle it? Once the Garrison is finished with their part in dealing with the aftermath and the public settles down again, theyâre going to be on the hunt for him again with their full focus. Though, I wouldnât be surprised if thereâs a faction hunting him now with less savory motives hoping to take advantage of the current chaos to get away with something more akin to retribution.â
Levi wouldnât be surprised if that was the case, eitherâall the more reason to be quick about handling the Emery situation. The sooner the better.
âWe do. Itâs going to take some digging to do it right, but weâve talked about faking his death. Weâre going to need to scope out the area and figure out what kinds of people are in the squads hunting for him.â
The last thing either of them wanted was to accidentally throw Emery to a squad that would take their time and draw out his âdeathâ, so they were going to make sure they put him in the path of a squad that would be quick to put him down if they were pushed the right way.
Erwin hummed, closing the file with the official ass covering details of Levi and Y/Nâs relationship and leaning over to stuff the file back into one of his drawersâLevi tried not to think of how crammed full and desperately needing a purge that drawer was with the sound Levi could hear of folder edges rapidly smacking against the top of the drawer as Erwin opened and closed it.
âKeep me updated, and let me know when you have a more detailed plan before you go carrying anything out. Iâll see if I can get any more details on the Military Police that were getting involved in the hunt.â
âThey werenât eager for you to be sniffing around their bullshit the last few times you tried.â
âWell, perhaps I can come away with a success this time,â Erwin remarked, reaching to continue with his pile of reports.
They were likely running out of timeâMiche would be here at any moment, and Levi would be unable to talk about most of what they had been discussing any further. That, and the fact that Erwin was reaching for the reports again meant that Erwin had every intention of wrapping this conversation up.
If there was one thing he wanted to stress the most before he had to leaveâ
âErwinâŠIâm serious about not involving her if weâre in this kind of shitshow again. We canât risk her losing her humanity.â
Erwin didnât immediately reply, didnât even look at Levi, spreading the reports Levi had brought him one by one across his desk. Before Levi could speak again to press the matter and demand an answer, there was a knock on the door that had Levi swearing under his breath.
He was out of time.
âYes, Miche?â Erwin called, which prompted the Section Commander to step inside and stroll across the room, promptly keeping Levi from pressing the subject any more. Levi started to turn, already knowing this meant he was dismissed, not even sparing Miche a glance as he stalked towards the door.
Erwin called out to him before he could leave the office.
âLevi. Iâll let you know when thereâs a complete list of the families of the scouts we lost that we need to notify.â
That wasnât an answer, it wasnât even in the realm of anything theyâd been talking aboutâeven if it was something Levi needed to know about since heâd be involved in the notifications as an officer.
And it sure as hell didnât escape Leviâs notice that Erwin had been evasive about giving him any kind of opinion or statement about the matter throughout their whole conversation.
Not AOT, but my current DnD group had an in character whole charged dramatic discussion about this for twenty to thirty minutes IN SESSION completely unintentionally.
It had the vibe of "who broke it" and "Who was going to tell me tea tastes different" rolled into one.
(Heavily homebrewed world)
Story below vvv
My human, Jules, was the only one who didn't find it weird that the human kingdom would tell their parents to put their teeth under their pillows and at night they would get a little reward from the tooth fairy (not to be mistaken for the bone fairy who is terrifying and we won't talk about that). In fact, once he was old enough to sus out that the tooth fairy didn't exist and it was just a thing to keep kids calmer about and even excited for a natural part of growing that's a little gross, he helped his parents leave little treats for his two youngest siblings when they lost their teeth and they'd toss out the teeth cause OBVIOUSLY they didn't keep it.
Chaos ensues.
The half wood elf that is just in the past few days venturing outside the feywilds for the first time is HORRIFIED that these humans dare to cross the tooth fairy by not only robbing her of her job, but of THROWING OUT the teeth that she cherishes. Also she is surprised that the human empire goes along with it willingly and feeds the tooth fairy's strange fascination, but it gets even crazier to her because THEY DON'T EVEN REALLY BELIEVE IN HER WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!?!?!
(My poor human Jules is now over here extremely concerned that he's going to fall under some kind of fey retribution for his part in 'stealing the tooth fairy's job' even though he had no idea she was real)
the drow elf ball of sunshine and trauma is HORRIFIED and DISGUSTED by the fact that WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GUYS LOSE YOUR TEETH?!?!?! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOSE YOUR TEETH, THEY GROW IN AND THEN THEY STAY THERE--WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE A SECOND SET OF TEETH UNDERNEATH?!?!?!
She is devolving into a panic attack Jules is trying to calm but is just making worse.
Our Goliath is laughing and semi-mocking the humans for having weak teeth and there's stays in but she's been around enough animals that new teeth is not a new concept to her. She does, however, call the tradition of leaving teeth under the pillow weird, gross, and a waste. She tries to join Jules in explaining that this is normal. Her commentary is very poorly executed and is only making the drow's meltdown worse.
Our Water Genasi is confused and quiet and stopped trying to pitch in to this conversation a long time ago as apparently he didn't lose teeth, either, and he was adopted by an old sea captain and missed out on a lot of childhood landmarks and grew up in a small village so he's written this off as city folk drama he wants no part in, and is more calmly confused about the tradition of a 'tooth fairy'.
The half wood elf is now sorry she ever asked as the conversation has greatly devolved right in front of her far beyond what was an initial innocent question.
I was running around burning energy so I could sit and draw and write--
and i ran my dominant hand right into a doorframe hard enough to bruise and mildly swell three knuckles and split the skin and start bleeding on one of them.
Sigh
once I get used to the feel of the weird way i have a bandage over that knuckle I'll get back to...whichever activity I feel more up to.
Probably the rewrites for 37, typing is easier on me rn than trying to draw the crown of Silver and Starlight I hope for my DnD character to eventually get near the end of his arc...
Oh I suppose I should say nothing's broken, the swelling is mild and already got soothed by the cold water I ran over my bloody knuckle, and i can move all of my hand without pain so I'll be good, just...it smarts right now and the bandage feels weird.
Sometimes you just have to accept that the reason the chapter/scene isn't flowing well and feels forced every step of the way/is taking forever is because it doesn't belong, or at least doesn't need to be a scene, it can just be a summary and flashback for the important bits and doesnt need a whole step by step scene.
Which means chapter 37 is about to go on the chopping block tonight and get some serious trimming done.
when you were just going to do a bit of light editing, maybe some writing, around your side hustle job all day, but then you felt blah and aching and uncomfortable, so you didn't do the job, and now you've edited three chapters, posted two sager cut edits, confirmed the edits for an unpublished chapter, and are now almost done with the first draft of ANOTHER chapter which would mean it's time to post the unpublished chapter you just confirmed the edits for once you finish that draft, and there's still at least four hours in your day