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[elleskinner-justart]

Missing Monday 1/24/23 Update!

Missing Monday updated today! Read Current Page  | Start from the Beginning

[scip-scipio-a]

NOBODY TOLD MND WHAT TO DO WITH MY HANDS. It has been a hectic month and I am still amazed at all the stuff that happened to me last year. Time to get started on all the ongoing chaos that is 2020. #Fashion #Modeling #Hair #Makeup #Quinceañera #Runway #Dress #LatinFashionWeekColorado #2019 #LFWC (at El Stampede De Aurora) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9PmidijiC-/?igshid=qhk8lb44xbdg

[karrey]

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The Din has updated~ Caisa and Lorentz enjoy the view at sea!

Feel free to reblog - it areally helps new readers find the comic! <3 <3

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[dinoshaur]

masterlist ; profiles ; tag written for the lfw challenge. fake title prompt #5

slow dancing in a burning room → choi seungcheol x reader → romance, angst → dancing with the prince of a rival kingdom will probably either the best or worst decision you’ve ever made.

pretty petals → yoon jeonghan x reader → romance, fluff → you leave a flower from your garden outside his door each morning after braiding petals through your hair.

strumming on heartstrings → joshua hong x reader → romance, fluff → being a princess is lonely so when the musician offers to play you a song every night, you welcome him with open arms.

you and your white horse → wen junhui x reader → romance, fluff, childhood best friends to lovers au → ever since you were little, you would sneak down to the stables with an apple to see your favourite white horse.

darlin’ steal away → kwon soonyoung x reader → romance, drama, angst → you catch him stealing things as the years go by and, sure enough, your heart gets stolen too.

history repeats itself → jeon wonwoo x reader → romance, drama, friends w/ benefits au → it’s hard to learn about history when there’s so much of it between you two.

the art of war → lee jihoon x reader → romance, drama, rivals to lovers au → somewhere between glaring matches and screaming profanities, you find yourself falling for the passionate general.

someone worth dying for → lee seokmin x reader → romance, drama, angst → it was supposed to be easy, a simple assassination. but as you get to know him, you find that it’s hard to kill someone you love.

i won’t say (i’m in love) → kim mingyu x reader → romance, fluff → you absolutely refuse to fall for the prince, even if he’s as charming as they say.

a piece of advice → xu minghao x reader → romance, drama → he stumbles across your rant at two in the morning and suddenly you’re tasked with stopping a war.

heavy is the head → boo seungkwan x reader → romance (unrequited), drama, angst, part two of darlin’ steal away → you may be stuck with him for the rest of your life but you will never let him forget about how much you despise him.

long live → chwe hansol x reader → romance, drama → when you’re locked behind bars with only a guard for company, you have to make do.

one, two, three → lee chan x reader → romance, fluff → you don’t think you’ll ever learn the waltz in time for the ball, which is where he comes into the picture.

[myshuagger]

lazybones

characters: jeonghan || side: seokmin, seungcheol, jihoon words: 2k genre: angst , one (1) instance of fluff warnings: unhealthy behavior, hints of depression...? prompt: “when you said it was over i didn’t think you meant it like this.” from the lfw challenge and this song.

maybe one day, the memories of you won’t wake up when he does

Jeonghan’s eyes open lazily, sleepiness making it hard to focus on anything. He shifts around bed trying to find the source of the sound that woke him up. He gets his answer as he glances at the open window and finds a small bird chirping and skipping around his windowsill. A groan escapes his mouth before he gets up. The bird flies away when jeonghan gets close enough to the window and closes it. Sunlight makes his eyes hurt when he looks outside, the busy street below makes him taste something akin to bitterness.

His phone reads 10:45am when he grabs it after laying in bed again. The red icon next to his messages makes his breath stop for a brief second, his heart skips a beat as he opens the app. Jeonghan has to resist the urge to throw his phone across the room when the name on his phone reads Seungcheol instead of your name. He sighs and places an arm over his eyes. His phone is back on top of his nightstand before he tugs at the blankets and makes himself comfortable again. The quietness of the room lulls him back to sleep. After all, it’s too early to be thinking about you.

It’s not really that he misses you, or at least that’s what he says to himself and his friends a few hours later over lunch. The worried look on Seokmin’s face and the slight disappointment in Seuncheol’s is enough for Jeonghan to feel somewhat guilty for being late to their meeting. He runs a hand through his hair and smiles, a nervous habit. Attempts to add an extra ounce of credibility to his voice when he makes an excuse for his tardiness. He fails. But somehow his friends let it go, Soonyoung changes the topic and Jeonghan feels relieved. The occasional concerned looks he gets are ignored deliberately.

The emptiness of his apartment greets him once he’s back. Jeonghan collapses onto his bed even though the sun is still out. He doesn’t even bother with changing his clothes. A sigh escapes his mouth as one of his arms reaches to the other side of the bed. Hand grasping the empty space. He swears he can hear your voice wishing him goodnight before he falls asleep.

__

Jeonghan curses without opening his eyes when he can feel the sunlight hitting his face. He should have listened to you when you told him to buy the darker curtains. He rolls around in bed until he bumps into you. A groan can be heard under the covers and he laughs while his arm sneaks around your waist. You mutter something about being too hot to cuddle, try to swat his arm away. Jeonghan pulls you closer and buries his face in your hair anyway. After a few minutes of fight, you give in and turn around to face him. His fingers trace random shapes on your hips as he kisses your forehead with a tired smile.

“Good morning, beautiful.” His husky voice and slurred words let you know he’s not fully awake yet. A childish frown adornes your features as your brush some hair away from his eyes.

“You woke me up…”

Jeonghan laughs and hugs you tighter. Rolls around with you until you two almost fall out of bed. When he stops, he can’t help but stare at you while let out a light chuckle. He thinks about how lucky he is to have you when you smile at him. You place a soft kiss on his jaw before getting up. Jeonghan watches you walk away, notices you’re wearing one of his shirts and smiles to himself. Finds himself barely able to resist the temptation to run to you and drag you back to bed. He’s sure that you would try to push him away again.

When he finally gets out of bed and looks for you, you’re sitting on top of the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee. Feet swaying slowly until he gets close enough. One of his hands finds your coffee and steals it to take a sip, face scrunching when he burns his lips. You laugh and whisper something about karma but he ignores it and hugs you instead.

“What’s with you today?” you say with a confused tone. Jeonghan doesn’t need to look at you to see you smiling, can feel it in the way you thread your fingers through his hair. He nuzzles into your neck, taking in your scent.

“I love you.”

Panic starts to set in his stomach when your fingers stop for a second. It’s not the first time Jeonghan says those words to you but he still gets wary when they leave their mouth at unexpected times. He contemplates if he should pull away from you, if he should say something to shift the conversation. He doesn’t. Instead, he stays still and waits for your answer.

A small chuckle escapes your lips and your fingers resume their way through his hair, “I love you too, Jeonghan.”

. He wakes up disoriented and slightly confused. Something rolls down his cheeks and it takes him a few moments to notice he’s crying. The darkness in his apartment does little to stop him from getting up and looking for you. Desperation seeping into every cell of his body with each passing second. It’s not until later that he remembers you’re not there, haven’t been in a while. He collapses in the middle of the living room. Your voice still echoes inside his head.

__

A catchy beat and the insistent sounds of his doorbell snap Jeonghan out of his reverie. The living room looks way brighter than before and his head turns towards the kitchen instinctively. You’re not there.

The doorbell continues even after his phone stopped ringing. Someone screams his name from the other side of the door. The memory of your voice slips away for a second and Jeonghan finds himself annoyed with whoever is outside. He makes his way to the door with reluctance and a groan. Seokmin looks relieved when his eyes meet, says something about taking too long before making his way past the door. When he asks, Jeonghan lies again, claims he was in the bathroom and couldn’t hear the knocking. A small hum from Seokmin is all he gets as response and Jeonghan finds himself getting annoyed again.

“Why are you here anyway?” The words sound harsher than when they were just a thought and he can see the sadness flashing through Seokmin’s face. Jeonghan feels bad when he remembers a promise to help Jihoon with one of his projects as the reason for the younger one to be there. In a poor attempt to fix the situation, he adds, “isn’t it still too early?”

Seokmin seems to catch onto his regret and forces a smile. “Jihoon sent me to make sure you’re not late again.”

Jeonghan thinks about objecting, ask Seokmin when was he ever late to a meeting but he really can’t remember the last time he wasn’t. He sighs after a few seconds of silence, hand rising to fix his hair before stopping halfway. The ghost of his touch still present and making his mind blurry. Seokmin stares at him, slightly confused. Jeonghan leaves the room before the other can say anything, muttering something about taking a shower.

They meet with Jihoon at his studio an hour past the time they agreed to meet. Jeonghan wants to apologize but can’t bring himself to do it. He decides to keep quiet, listens to Jihoon complaining about Seokmin not doing his job properly.

“Always late, just like-” Jihoon stops mid-sentence and frowns. Your name doesn’t have to leave his lips for Jeonghan to know. The beginning of an apology forces him to shake his head and say it’s fine. And it really is fine, because he can’t blame Jihoon for being annoyed at his tardiness. Can’t blame him to pointing out who gave Jeonghan that bad habit to begin with. And even though he wishes his friend hadn’t mentioned it, he smiles anyway. He tries to push all the times he had to wait for you to the back of his mind.

They carry on with their original plans after that, tiptoeing around the awkwardness.

__

When Jeonghan gets home after meeting up with the boys, he doesn’t expect to see boxes filled with your things in the hallway of his apartment. He looks around a few rooms until he finds you in the kitchen, your hands grabbing your favorite mug from the cupboard. The loud noise of the mug hitting the counter after he says your name scares him a bit. You don’t turn around, and Jeonghan is confused. He wants to ask about the boxes, about your half filled suitcase sitting on the bed of your shared bedroom. You turn around just when he’s about to place a hand on your shoulder.

Your eyes are red and your hair looks messy. Jeonghan’s heart writhes in pain and his mind screams at him incoherent sentences. He’s never seen you this sad, this desperate. You walk towards the hallway before he can fully process what’s going on.

“I thought you were not coming back tonight.”

Your voice sounds unconcerned, in the same manner as if you were talking about the weather. Jeonghan knows better. He knows you enough to hear your labored breathing afterwards, he sees how your hand twitches when you try not to clench your fist. A clear sign of uneasiness and discomfort. He follows you to the bedroom in silence, trying to think about what to say. You resume the packing as if he wasn’t right behind you.

“You’re-“ His breath catches in his throat, painful. He can feel his eyes burning with unshed tears once he realizes what is happening. You don’t acknowledge his presence, keep taking your clothes out of the closet in silence. Jeonghan sits on the bed for a moment and tries to calm himself.

“When you said it was over I didn’t think you meant it like this.”

You look at him, half folded shirt tossed carelessly into the suitcase. The hurt in your eyes feels heavy enough to make him avoid your gaze completely, opting for looking at his hands instead. A sigh escapes your lips and Jeonghan thinks (wishes) you’ll say something. But you don’t. You just go back to folding the rest of your clothes.

A few hours later, Jeonghan finds himself at the front door of his apartment, his hands holding yours desperately. He tells you to not leave him and how much he loves you. His words sound much more like sobs than actual words and he’s not sure if you understood him at all. You shake your head and pull your hands away slowly, force yourself to smile at him without succeeding.

Jeonghan thinks he can hear you apologizing as you close the taxi’s door but that might be just his mind tricking him.

. His heart is pounding in his chest when he wakes up, sweat making his hair stick to his forehead. He doesn’t look for you this time, doesn’t stay awake in the middle of the living room for five hours after he understands you’re not there. The apartment is quiet and he feels cold despite being covered in blankets. A hand goes up and brushes the hair out of his eyes, it’s still dark outside but Jeonghan doesn’t think he can go back to sleep. So he turns on his side and looks at what used to be your side of the bed in silence.

Sometimes he wonders how is it possible for him to feel like this even though it’s been months since you left him, wonders if he’ll ever stop missing you. He finds himself wishing to be able to get you out of his mind even if it is just for a day. Because knowing you don’t love him despite how much he still thinks about you makes him feel even more hopeless and empty.

He wishes that, someday, he’ll wake up and the memories of you won’t wake up with him.

[melomato]

Fallacy

This story was created for the Lost For Words Challenge.

Genre: Angst

Characters: Wen Junhui, Xu Minghao, Jeon Wonwoo

Warnings: Death, Depression..?

Word Count: 1850

Prompts Chosen: 

Quote Prompt: 4. “sometimes the loneliest place to be is in love.” - lang leav

Conversation Prompt: 

2. “have you ever thought about what would’ve happened if we didn’t kill him?” 

3. “if you hadn’t died, none of this would’ve happened in the first place!”

[There's a few issues with the formatting and font on mobile.]

Junhui stated blankly at the plain white wall just over his therapists left shoulder. "Is there anything more you want to say?" she asked.

Junhui shrugged, slightly shaking his head no.

"Well that concludes our session today," she smiled slightly and leaned forward. "I do hope you'll try better next time."

Junhui nodded and stood up to leave. I'm not sure there'll be a next time.

He climbed into his car and drove with no destination in mind. It was only after he'd reached the large black hats that he'd realised where he'd ended up once again.

Sighing he got out and pushed the gate wide open allowing himself to pass through. He walked along the rows upon rows of headstones protruding out the ground and made his way to the one on the third row.

He knelt down before a grave and stared at the stone bearing the name: Jeon Wonwoo 1996 - 2018

His heart clenched and he had to force the air out of his lungs and pull it back in. An old memory, like a vintage photo passed through his mind, but he quickly shoved it away, compressing the building ball of emotions building up at the pit of his stomach.

He sat there a bit longer humming a slow tune to himself before deciding to leave and head back home where Minghao was waiting for him.

...

"Hey, where were you?" Minghao asked, looking up at the sound of the door clicking open.

Junhui closed the door behind him, "I went to visit him again."

Minghao stiffened, "How was he?"

Junhui lifted a shoulder slightly, and dropped it. "Same as always I guess."

Minghao tried to give him the sweetest of smiles, his lips straining with the effort.

Junhui was completely oblivious to all this, and simply walked past him to his bedroom and shut the door behind him.

He lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling. There wasn't much he wanted to do these days. Not without Wonwoo anyway.

His heart didn't ache or anything when he thought of him. He didn't feel a pang of sadness in his chest. He didn't feel like breaking down into sobs until his body would tire. He just felt an empty void in his soul. A place that needed filing up.

He felt lost and alone.

He wished he could cry it out. Or maybe even break everything in the house in anger. He wished he'd at least feel something. But all his thoughts were a series of blanks, leaving him feeling vacant and bare.

With no memory of having fallen asleep, Junhui woke up and rubbed his eyes. He sat up in his bed, his muscles aching. The quick movement sent a slight throbbing in his head. Groggily he stood up and walked out his room to get a glass of water.

He found Minghao sitting at the dining table reading a book with a cup of coffee sitting not too far away.

Minghao glanced up as Junhui walked in. He didn't comment on his crumpled clothes that would suggest he'd been sleeping. He silently turned back to his book and continued to read.

After having his glass of water he sat down at the table on the opposite end to the other boy. He stared down and silently watched rippling movement of the liquid.

A few moments later Minghao look up at the boy sitting across him and examined him over his glasses curiously. He simply sat there, stiller then a statue, intently staring at his glass of water. He thought about saying something, but then thought against it, and went back to his book.

He'd always just thought he should give him space. Give him time. To figure out things on his own. And if he needed him of course he'd always be here to lend an ear or help him out.

But it had been months and there had been no change in Wen Junhui. The therapist had said they hadn't made much progress at all, if any. And though Minghao was worried out of his mind, he'd still thought all Junhui had needed was space.

He sighed. Maybe just a little more space.

Junhui stood up, leaving his glass of water untouched and left to go back to his room. He figured it was quite late and he should probably go to bed properly this time. He grabbed a towel and a few clothes and headed to the bathroom.

...

He sat in the familiar beige sofa chair facing a woman. It took him a few moments to get his bearings and he squinted his eyes trying to focus he rubbed them and squinted again.

"Let's start again, what do you last remember?" his therapist asked watching him intently, not missing a single detail about him.

When had he come here? He had no memory of driving to this dreaded place he'd sworn he'd never return to.

He shut his eyes tight trying to think. He searched in his brain left and right but all he was met with was pitch black emptiness.

What was he doing? How did he get here?

What happened?

"Well there's more progress than I've seen in weeks, you're finally talking," she beamed at him.

He didn't realise he'd asked the last one aloud.

"W-what happened?" he repeated.

"What do you last remember doing?" she asked.

"I don't know," he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "I... Don't remember anything," he whispered suddenly very scared. "What did you do to me?"

"Think back to the last thing you did," she stated calmly.

"I... I was going to the shower. I was getting ready for bed."

"And then..?"

"I don't remember," he sighed. He hit his head with his knuckles again and again, over and over, "I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember."

The therapists hands flew forward grabbing his wrists away from his face. "Junhui stop," she said sternly. She loosened her grip slightly when she felt his arms go slack. He was staring at the ground and his face was blank once again. Back to how he usually was.

"You passed out in the shower and your friend, he called the ambulance up for you," she said lightly. "You haven't been eating anything lately and it took a toll on your body. Do you remember anything now?"

Junhui continued to stare hard at the ground, images flashed in his mind when he closed his eyes. He blinked a few times.

He was sitting up against the wall on the bathroom floor, Minghao's face directly in front of his, his eyes filled with worry and concern._

He lay on a stretcher and was being put into ambulance, Minghao running in after him.

There was an IV tube protruding out his right arm and Minghao sat in a chair at the foot of his bed head in his hands.

And all of a sudden the images changed. They warped into each other and twisted out of form.

A man swung a knife at him and he ducked out the way, only to be hit across the head with a bat.

A slash of the knife was heard and he saw a body fall. His whole world shattering, he threw a hot iron at the one at fault.

His legs gave way as he sat between them, head in his hands, and watched as a man lay on the ground, cold and eyes empty of life. His skin slowly turning blue.

He felt the images dissolve out of shape and memories they brought shredding his insides out.

And then...

Wonwoo was holding his hand smiling at him, causing his own lips to stretch out into a smile.

Wonwoo brushed his fringe out of his eyes and handed him an ice lolly and they both made a toast with their lollies before breaking out into a fit of giggles.

Wonwoo tapped his nose and the continued to watch the sunset that couldn't be more beautiful.

Wen Junhui lay on the floor, at the foot of his chair. A single tear fell out of his eye and crawled down the side of his face, dropping onto the carpet beneath him.

He blinked again as one last image flashed behind his closed eye lids.

"Sometimes the loneliest place to be is in love." It was a line from an old poem he'd read long ago. He hadn't understood it back then, and only now he was beginning to feel the full weight of its wisdom.

His therapist knelt next to him stroking his hair softly as sobs broke wracked though his whole form and he cried and cried never wanting to stop.

Hoping his reality was nothing more than a nightmare.

Praying he'd wake up soon.

...

Minghao looked around the house, but he couldn't find Junhui anywhere. He seen him come home earlier and was certain he hadn't left. And he'd checked his room and the bathrooms multiple times afraid the events of last time would once again repeat itself.

Stepping into Junhui's bedroom for the fourth time, he noticed the window wide open and quickly ran to glance out. He glances down and saw nothing but a clear pavement and sighed in relief. He looked around before noticing the bars leading up to the roof on the side of the wall, and used them as a ladder to get himself up there.

He slowly sat down slowly beside Junhui and stared out over all the rooftops at the cityscape before them.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Minghao spoke up, "Do you ever wonder what would've happened if we didn't kill him?"

Junhui didn't answer straight away. He didn't react to the question. He hadn't even moved a muscle and Minghao wondered maybe if he hadn't heard it at all.

But then he replied, his voice raspy and low,"All the time."

Minghao's eyes widened slightly. He hadn't expected such a straightforward answer or one not void of emotion. He sighed and scooted closer. He reached over to Junhui's hand resting on his thigh and placed his own over it, squeezing it lightly.

Junhui who had been staring at the stars, looked down at his hand and clenched his first and then unclenched. "I didn't deserve him..." he whispered.

"He didn't deserve you," Minghao corrected pointedly. "He abused you. You didn't like him."

"And whose fault was that? Mine. I'm the one that didn't deserve him. I'm the one that should've died. I'm the one that cheated on him." Junhui turned on him angrily, "With you!"

Minghao stared at him in shock. He didn't respond for a while and just stared at the ground. He again reached over and rubbed Junhui's arm soothingly, the atmosphere still too tense to say anything.

"But you're right," Minghao glanced up at those words. "I didn't like him," Junhui said staring at the ground.

"I loved him." He stared straight up at the stars again, at the twinkling constellations, with more emotion than the other boy had seen in months. The light from the stars reflected off his eyes as frustration swirled in together with the pain and Minghao wondered what else he was feeling.

Junhui sighed and looked up at the sky, "Why couldn't he be the one sitting next to me right now? Why did you come to my house that day; a fight was inevitable." Tears welled in Junhui's eyes and he quickly wiped them away.

He glanced to his side and half smiled, and a chill ran down Minaghao’s spine. "If you hadn't died, none of this would've happened in the first place.

[cityofcards]

City of Cards: CoCCO Prelude: 06: 06-10


Prelude 05 I Prelude 04 I Prelude 03 I Prelude 02 I  Prelude 01



Happy Birthday Xander, drink responsibly and enjoy your emotions.


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[kotzebue]

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