Apr 25
Q: this was during the separation, right?
Noel: what, me and our kid? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was an electric fence between us two.
— Noel for Roll The Tape: 10 Years of Pep Guardiola at City (April 2026)
seen from China
seen from Ireland
seen from Germany
seen from Maldives
seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Switzerland
seen from United Kingdom
seen from China
seen from Switzerland
seen from Estonia
seen from Switzerland
seen from China
seen from Netherlands
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from Switzerland
seen from Malaysia
seen from Mexico
seen from Malaysia
Q: this was during the separation, right?
Noel: what, me and our kid? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was an electric fence between us two.
— Noel for Roll The Tape: 10 Years of Pep Guardiola at City (April 2026)
reunion-era joy built on the ruins of separation-era pain
When Lila was sixteen, a mate from the year above her in school sat her down and explained, in no uncertain terms, that she needed to take care of her eyebrows. “Boys don’t like that hair between ‘em,” she had said.
“I don’t give a fuck about what a boy likes,” Lila said, her eyes tracing the thin, perfectly manicured lines of the older girl’s brows. “Not trying to impress no one.”
The girl (what was her name again? Sarah? something like that) pouted dramatically. “But you’d be so pretty, Lila, c’mon.”
She reached into her handbag and produced a pair of tweezers from a little pink posh case. She clearly came prepared and wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Lila figured she didn’t have a way out and really, there were worse fates than having a pretty girl sit on your lap and stare at you for a little while.
Stella (was it?) was meticulous, expertly plucking the hairs above the bridge of Lila’s nose one by one. She kept her watering eyes squeezed shut, trying not to scrunch up her face too much.
Once Scarlett or whatever was sure that her eyebrows were completely separate, she tried to convince Lila to let her shape them up. That was where she drew the line. “Fuckin’ hurt, that.” Lila whined.
”Beauty is pain, innit?”
-
When Lila got home, she was greeted by a clearly stoned Noel sitting on his bed, can of beer in hand. Lazy bastard, she thought. It’s the middle of the day. He looked up when she kicked her loafers off into the wall.
His red, sleepy eyes trailed up her body, from her school skirt to her face. They widened a bit when he caught her eyes.
“What?” Lila scowled at the dumb look on Noel’s face.
With the way he was staring, you’d think she’d grown another head. “You look different.”
“So what if I do? I’m allowed to change how I look, ain’t I?” Lila rolled her eyes. “Some bird at school is tryin’ to make me prettier, like.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder. “What d’ya think?”
Noel takes a long pause before shrugging. “I dunno.”
Lila stuck her tongue out at him. “Prick. You’re meant to say yes, Lila, you’re my beautiful baby sister.”
Noel cracked a small smile at that, but paused again. Lila flushed a little under his scrutinizing gaze. “Just weird, innit,” he finally said. “You looked alright before.” He lifted the beer to his lips but before he could take a sip, Lila lunged over and snatched the can from his hand. “Oi, that’s mine!”
“It’s Paul’s, you twat, it doesn’t count as stealing if you nicked it first.” She tilted her head back to take a long swig.
“You’re a cunt,” Noel huffed.
Lila leaned down and met his gaze, practically inches from his face. Noel’s glassy eyes fell to her lips, naturally, but she just wasn’t having that, was she. “A well fit cunt, that is.” She punctuated her sentence with a burp that made Noel reel back and try to shove her away.
“You’re fucking minging, you know that?”
“You love it.”
-
Two-and-a-half weeks later, Stacey (that’s it) approached her again. “The hair’s starting to grow back. I’ve got my tweezers on me, you know.”
Lila wrinkled her nose. “Am not doing that again, s’ not worth it.”
“Why not? You looked lovely!”
Lila shrugged. “It didn’t work, d’you know what I mean?”
Stacey tilted her head and threw Lila a mildly puzzled look.
Just posted chapter 1 of a new fic - Not for such as you and I
Have you ever wanted an AU where the main difference from real life is that Noel actually showed up to be Liam's best man at his wedding to Patsy? Then this is for you 💍💕It's based on that radio interview Noel did on the second night of Knebworth, where he said Liam had asked him to be the best man at his wedding, and Noel agreed. He sounded about as excited as you can imagine, and as the story goes, he wasn't even there at Liam and Patsy's wedding - and then ran off to get married to Meg a few months later, like the petty bitch he is.
(Tags: infidelity, weddings, angst, jealous noel, petty noel, risky behaviour. More tags to follow in the next chapter!)
Liam and Noel hugging at Wembley today 💖💖💖 (cc: Mike Egerton)
Liam and Noel behind the scenes of the Q Magazine photoshoot (2002)