#library paraprofessional

[elreinodelpurgatorio]

I am a very professional emailer.

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Cassandra

I warned the librarians

that the shelves were dangerous.

the sensors are not online.

they will go and crush someone. they are moveable and dumb. do not trust technology. last week, a co-ed was squished.

no injuries, just terror.

now students take videos

trying to also get crushed.

now the librarians care.

not to say I told them so

but I did.

[elreinodelpurgatorio]

oops

I wanted to talk mad shit

about this very strange new book.

calling a librarian

I showed her. And she lit up. it was the book she ordered.

I felt like an idiot.

then she opened the pages

and said she was too busy

to read it and never would.

Phew.

[elreinodelpurgatorio]

Apparently my boss and I both have plans on what we'd do if the electronic stacks of books closes in on us. We both have fears of being squished.

[elreinodelpurgatorio]

Just before closing the library I noticed a student looking frantically through her backpack. When I asked her if I could help she told me that she couldn’t find her headphones and if she left, then she knew they would be lost forever.

There were three places they could be: on the desk, in the bathroom, or in the trash. They were in the trash. In her haste to leave, she threw everything in her hands into the trash, including her fancy headphones.

Out loud, she started being very mean to herself. But then she reminded herself that its the end of the semester and “I’m in the worst class of my life.”

Moral? Check your hands before throwing things away and do not under any circumstances take geophysics.