If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
Billionaires don't think we're real. How could they? How could you inflict the kind of vast misery that generates billions of dollars while still feeling even a twinge of empathy for the sufferer in your extractive enterprise. No wonder Elon Musk calls us "NPCs":
Ever notice how people get palpably stupider as they gain riches and power? Musk went from a cringe doofus to a world-class credulous dolt, and it seems like he loses five IQ points for every $10b that's added to his net worth. Sergey Brin used to be the kind of guy who'd pull his whole company of out China overnight after a state hack-attack on dissidents triggered his own traumatic memories of his Soviet childhood:
He retired, got a hell of a lot richer through passive gains to his investment portfolio, then came back to run Google, presiding over the precipitous decline of search quality, which he responded to by telling his workers that he expected them to put in 60 hours/week:
One of the strangely satisfying aspects of the Trump presidency is that every now and then, he'll pick a random billionaire (say, the CEO of Intel) and publicly call him an asshole for a couple of days, generally to prompt that particular billionaire to bend the knee to him:
Sometimes, he'll force these billionaires to publicly humiliate themselves for him – like when he made Tim Apple hand-build a little gold participation trophy for dictators on camera and then present it to him, groveling all the while:
The reason this makes such great TV is that we all know that normally, these guys never have to tolerate any criticism. They live in hermetically sealed bubble of sycophancy. This is what makes them so, so stupid (it's also why Trump so so unbelievably fucking stupid). Look, I come up with stupid ideas all the time, but I've learned the hard way that if I open my teeth and let these mental farts escape from my face, the people around me will tell me that I'm an asshole and make me feel bad. Trump, on the other hand, can tell us to all inject bleach and claim that solar panels are killing bunny rabbits and everyone around him tells him he's a genius:
He's got a button on his desk that summons Diet Cokes. This is a guy who brazenly cheats at *golf*, *on camera*, without any pushback. This is a recipe for crawling up your own asshole and dying: https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-golf-cheating-viral-video-2104940
As the moral philosopher David St Hubbins said, "It's such a fine line between 'clever' and 'stupid.'" If you want to come up with interesting ideas, you have to entertain some outlandish ones. But if you live in a world of yes-anding improv partners who get fired if they break character in the Mad King LARP you're paying them to play, then your bad ideas will inexorably devour your good ones.
Give Howard Hughes some constraints and he'll build you a bunch of cool airplanes. Take away those constraints and he'll start wearing kleenex boxes on his feet, growing his fingernails real long, and saving his piss in jars. Constraints are frustrating, but they're good for you.
Billionaires are on a relentless quest to isolate themselves from the rest of us. The yacht industry, private space exploration, seasteading, luxury bunkers – their whole thing is escaping the constraints imposed by others. They want to be "sovereign" – that is, toddlers:
The more isolated they get, the stupider they get. No one's telling them no. Sergey Brin has gotten unmistakably stupider since he stopped going to Town Hall meetings where Google's once-valued engineering staff got to criticize the company. Zuckerberg's whole manophere/surfer dude rebrand coincided with his decision to stop attending the company-wide engineering meetings, which he called "Not a good use of my time."
One thing all these guys have in common: they love chatbots. Why not? A chatbot is the perfect lickspittle. Ask one to generate a gnarly regular expression, try it, then paste the resulting (inevitable) error message into the chat, and the bot will positively cower in contrition: "You're absolutely right, I'm really stupid and you're very smart for noticing. I forgot to put in a curly brace. Please, if you can see your way clear to giving me another chance, could I pretty pretty please try again? I mean, only if you don't want me to kill myself instead."
Sure, an AI isn't real – but remember, as far as billionaires are concerned, almost everyone is an "NPC."
Not so long ago, nearly every human/AI contact was a ritual humiliation in which the computer said no. No, you can't have that drug your doctor prescribed, the AI says no. No, you can't get bail, the AI said no. No, you can't keep your kids, the computer said no.
The rise of consumer-facing LLMs has given us all a taste of what it's like to be a billionaire. Like William Gibson said, the future was there, it just wasn't evenly distributed. Tech lords invented a machine for lowering your IQ. It's not AI psychosis, it's billionaire's disease:
How the kleptocrats and oligarchs hunt civil society groups to the ends of the Earth
It's a great time to be an oligarch! If you have accumulated a great fortune and wish to put whatever great crime lies behind it behind you, there is an army of fixers, lickspittles, thugs, reputation-launderers, procurers, henchmen, and other enablers who have turnkey solutions for laundering your reputation and keeping the unwashed from building a guillotine outside the gates of your compound.
The field of International Relations has studied the enemies of the Klept in detail: the Transnational Activist Network is a well-documented phenomenon. But far more poorly understood is the Transnational Uncivil Society Network, who will polish any turd of sufficient wealth to a high, professional gloss.
These TUSNs are the subject of a new, timely scholarly paper by Alexander Cooley, John Heathershaw and Ricard Soares de Oliveira: "Transnational Uncivil Society Networks: kleptocracy’s global fightback against liberal activism," published in last month's European Journal of International Relations:
The authors document how a collection of institutions – some coercive, others organized around good works – allow kleptocrats to take power, keep power, and use power. This includes "wealth managers, company providers, accounting firms, and international bankers" who create the complex financial structures that obscure the klept's wealth. It also includes "second citizenship managers and lawyers" that facilitate the klept's transnational nature, both to provide access to un-looted, prosperous places to visit, and boltholes to escape to in the face of coup or reform. It includes the real-estate brokers and other asset facilitators, who turn whole precincts of the world's greatest cities into empty safe-deposit boxes in the sky, while ensuring that footlose criminal elites always have a penthouse to perch in when they take a break from the desiccated husks they've drained dry back home.
Of course, it also includes the PR managers and philanthropic ventures that allow the klept to launder their reputation, to make themselves synonymous with good deeds rather than mass murder. Think here of how the Sacklers used charity to turn their family name into a synonym for culture and fine art, rather than death by opioid overdose:
Beyond providing comfort to "Politically Exposed Persons" and "High Net-Worth Individuals," TUSNs are concerned with neutralizing TANs. Activists in these transnational networks play an inside-outside game: in-country activists will recruit peers abroad to bring attention to the crimes of their local kleptocrats. These overseas partners target the klept in the places they go to play and spend, spoiling their fun – and if they succeed in getting corrupt leaders censured abroad, then in-country activists can leverage that bad press to fight the klept at home.
To fight this "Boomerang Effect," TUSNs seek to burnish corrupt officials' reputations abroad, getting their names on humanitarian prizes, beloved sports teams, cultural institutions and great universities. They seek to capture international governance institutions that might wrong-foot kleptocrats, co-opting them to enable and even celebrate looters.
When it comes to elite philanthropy, TUSNs are necessarily selective. Kleptocrats' foundations don't fund anti-kleptocratic groups – they stick to "education, public health, the environment and the arts." These domains steer clear of human rights questions that might implicate their benefactors. Russian oligarchs love children's charities and disability rights – provided they don't target the Russian state.
If charitable giving is reputation laundering's carrot, then "reputation management" is the laundry's stick. Think of organized copyfraudsters who clone websites that have criticized their clients, then backdate the articles, then accuse the originals of infringing copyright in order to get them de-listed from Google or taken offline altogether:
Reputation managers also spend a lot of time in court. In the UK – the world's leader in libel tourism, thanks to a legal system designed to let posh monsters sue muckraking journalists into silence – Russian oligarchs have perfected the art of forcing their critics to shut up and go away:
Indeed, London is a one-stop shop for the global klept, a place were forelock-tugging Renfields will buy you a Mayfair mansion under cover of a numbered company, sue your critics into silence, funnel your money into an anonymous Channel Islands account:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/07/the-klept/#pep
They'll sell you whole galleriesworth of "fine art" that you can have relocated to a climate-controlled container in a Swiss or Irish freeport:
But don't let Brexit stop you from shopping for bargains on the continent. The Golden Passports of the EU – available in a variety of flavors, from Maltese to Cypriot to Portuguese – offer the discerning failson access to the luxury good shops and fleshpots of 27 advanced economies, making it a favorite of the Khmer Riche – the junior klept of Cambodia's ruling faction:
But golden passports are for amateurs. Skilled klepts travel on diplomatic passports, which offer the twin benefits of free movement and consequence-free criminality, thanks to diplomatic immunity. The former Kazakh dictator's son-in-law enjoyed a freewheeling diplomatic life in Vienna; one daughters of the dictator of Tajikistan had a jolly time as an envoy to DC; another, to London (where else?).
All this globetrotting serves a second purpose: when rival elites seize power back home and force the old guard into exile, those ex-monsters can show up in the lands they called their second homes and apply for asylum. It turns out that even bomb-the-boats UK will welcome any asylum seeker who enters via the private jet terminal at City Airport (to be fair, these "refugees" have extensive properties in Zone 1 and country places in the Home Counties, so they won't need housing).
This stuff works. After Kazakh state goons murdered at least 14 protesters at a Zhanaozen oil facility in 2011, human rights groups around the world took up the cause. But they were effectively neutralized by TUSNs, with former UK PM Tony Blair writing on behalf of the Kazakh government to the EU condemning any kind of international investigation into the mass killings (add "former Prime Ministers" to the list of commodities for sale in the UK to sufficiently well-resourced murderer).
The authors close their paper with two case-studies. The first is of the daughters of Uzbek dictator Islam Karimov, Gulnara and Lola. And President Karimov was indeed a dictator: he trapped his population within his borders, forced them to use unconvertible scrip in place of money, and ordered the murder of hundreds of peaceful protesters, plunging the country into international isolation.
But while Uzbeks were sealed within their borders, Gulnara Karimov became an international player, running a complex network of businesses that mixed the products of the nation's oilfields with her family's fortune. She solicited – and received – bribes from Teliasonera, MTS and Vimpelcom, who were all vying for the contract to provide service in Uzbekistan. All told, she extracted more than $1b in bribes, laundering them through Latvia, Hong Kong and New York. She acquired real-estate in France and Switzerland, and her spree continued until her father collaborated with Uzbek security to seize her assets and place her under house-arrest.
Lola Karimova-Tillyaeva was Gulnara's estranged younger sister. She and her husband Timur Tillyaev ran the Dubai-based SecureTrade, which did extensive business with "opaque Scottish Limited Partnerships," laundering more than $127m in a single year to offshore accounts in the UAE and Switzerland. They acquired many luxe assets – a jet, a Californian villa, and an LA perfumier.
Lola styled herself as the face of the Karimovas abroad, a "philanthropist and cultural ambassador." She was a UNESCO ambassador and commissioned works of monumental art – and also sued the shit out of news outlets that reported factual matters about her family repressive activity at home. She organized AIDS charities in the name of Uzbekistan – even as her father was imprisoning a writer for publishing a book explaining how to have safer sex.
The second case-study is on Isabel dos Santos, "Africa's richest woman," daughter of Angolan dictator Jose Eduardo dos Santos. Isabel's vast fortune stemmed from her personal capture of vast swathes of the third-largest economy in Africa: "telecommunications, banking, diamonds, real estate and cement, among many others." Isabel enjoyed seemingly limitless access to state credit and co-investment, and was given first crack at newly deregulated industries. Foreign firms that invested in Angola were required to "partner" with Isabel's businesses.
Isabel claimed to be a "self-made woman" – a claim credulously parroted by the western press, including the FT. She used her homegrown fortune to become a major player abroad, especially in Portugal, where she was represented by the leading Portuguese law-firm PLMJ. Her enablers are who's who of corruption-loving lickspittles: McKinsey, Ernst and Young, Boston Consulting Group, and the Spanish BigLaw firm Uri Menendez.
Isabel cultivated a public facade of philanthropic giving and public spirited activism, serving as head of the Angolan Red Cross. She attended Davos and spoke at the LSE (she was also invited to Oxford, but her invitation was subsequently rescinded). On social media, she dismissed critics of her wealth and corruption as "colonialists," decrying their "racism" and "prejudice."
Isabel dos Santos's corrupt sources of wealth were finally, irrefutably exposed through the Luanda Leaks, in which the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists mapped the network of "top banks, management consultants and legal firms that were central to dos Santos’s operations."
Both case studies shed light on the network of brilliant, driven enablers and procurers without whom the world's greatest monsters would falter. It's a rare window on a secretive world, one that is poorly understood even by its inhabitants. As Michael Mechanic wrote in Jackpot, his 2021 book on vast, intergenerational fortunes, the winners of the lucky orifice lottery often lack any real understanding of how The Money is structured, grown and protected:
This point was reiterated by Abigail Disney, in a brave piece on what it's like to grow up subject to the oversight of these millionaires who babysit the children of billionaires:
This is an important contribution to the literature. We naturally focus on the ultrawealthy individuals whose reputations and fortunes are the subject of so much attention, but without the TUSNs, they would be largely helpless.
Going to Burning Man? Catch me on Tuesday at 2:40pm on the Center Camp Stage for a talk about enshittification and how to reverse it; on Wednesday at noon, I'm hosting Dr Patrick Ball at Liminal Labs (6:15/F) for a talk on using statistics to prove high-level culpability in the recruitment of child soldiers.
On September 6 at 7pm, I'll be hosting Naomi Klein at the LA Public Library for the launch of Doppelganger.
On September 12 at 7pm, I'll be at Toronto's Another Story Bookshop with my new book The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
“The New York Times” found that FEMA failed to answer nearly two-thirds of distressed calls as flooding engulfed Central Texas.
Kristi Noem quickly leapfrogged to the forefront of Trump administration ineptitude. ICE Barbie's main qualification for office was her sycophancy for Donald Trump.
Last year Noem was essentially the MC at a town hall where TACO abruptly stopped taking questions and swayed to canned music for over half an hour. Instead of trying to get the event back on track, Noem mindlessly swayed along with Trump.
Noem is still swaying to Trump's craziness but this time people are dying because of it.
Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem whined over a The New York Times report finding thousands of victims couldn’t get through to FEMA as catastrophic flooding engulfed Central Texas.
A Times report found the Federal Emergency Management Agency failed to answer “nearly two-thirds” of all distress calls from victims of the catastrophe, which has claimed the lives of at least 129 victims, with 160 still missing.
“It’s just false,” Noem said on NBC’s Meet the Press Sunday. “It’s discouraging that during this time, when we have such a loss of life and so many people’s lives have turned upside down, that people are playing politics with this because the response time was immediate.”
Noem has earned the nickname “ICE Barbie” for her love of dolling up for the cameras on Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) raids and inviting reporters to photograph her in front of detainees, among other unsavory publicity stunts.
When MAGA politicians claim something is "false" or "fake news", what that really means is "damn, they caught us!".
Noem has always been a despicable individual – well before she began kissing up to Trump.
'No one should be surprised Kristi Noem is vile - this is a woman who shot her own dog'
« For most Republicans in Congress, there’s no battle between conscience and supplication. They dropped to their knees years ago. There’s no tension between what they say and what they do. They praise Trump with their every word, including the conjunctions. »
— Frank Bruni at The New York Times.
Republicans on Capitol Hill have become Trump-Musk hos. Instead of acting like a co-equal branch of government to the White House they are MAGA-DOGE lickspittles.
On a similar note, former Republican Charlie Sykes compared congressional Republicans to "potted plants".
If you live in a district narrowly won by a GOP US House member in 2024, you have a disproportionate amount of influence at a critical time in our country's history. Start working now to defeat those Republicans who are giving Trump-Musk permission to destroy our future.
