#life;

[crownmemes]

Life Sentences, Vol. 1

(Sentences from Life (2007-2009). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"It's bad in there. It's your first day back. If you don't think you can handle it, I can do it myself."

"Why exactly would the universe make fun of us all?"

"When exactly was the last time you actually met a normal person?"

"Shouldn't innocent until proven guilty be a thing with all of us?"

"Hey, you're that guy, aren't you?"

"I think I might go up into space. You can pay the Russians to take you up there now."

"Do you think it's smart of you to let a convicted felon handle your money?"

"Why would you say something like that? What kind of person says something like that?"

"It's juvenile what you're doing."

"I want to be the un-wobbling pivot at the centre of an ever-revolving universe. I want to be still."

"You pulled a knife on the suspect?"

"They only look like angels, but they're not. They're aliens."

"May I ask when you lost your faith?"

"Just because her wings were fake doesn't mean she can't be a real angel."

"I can tell that you have money. I can tell that it's new money, and I can tell that you don't know what to do with their money."

"My faith has been gone for so long I can't remember when it was that I lost it, or if I ever even had it."

"You have no idea how the real world works, do you?"

"Focus on the words I'm actually saying, okay?"

"If you saw a crime about to happen, what would you do?"

"Conspiracies are how bored people pass the time."

"You're stepping over a line here. You might want to step back."

"Be careful about having expectations - they only lead to disappointment."

"Of course I'm awake; sleep is for babies."

"How come you only call me when someone's dead?"

"Don't all husbands lie to their wives?"

"Knowing what you went through, it would be crazy if you didn't go crazy."

"If you keep going where you're going, you're going to find trouble - whether it was there to begin with or not."

"I spent my childhood trying to work out if my dad was only mean or just plain bad."

"How come you're not on a beach somewhere?"

"Do I look like I tan?"

"Dating was simpler when I was younger."

[stomach17-ai-imagery]

There were tiny creatures…

Imaginative Digital Imagery 2023

[mountainroot]

In the northwest outer skirts of town, there is a small trail. Hidden cleverly by a sneaky ranger and mother nature’s helping hand, the trail leads deep into forest before it ends at a cottage. As Samrula reaches the end of the trail, the ranger sighs, already feeling slightly more comfortable at the sight. It’s been roughly about a month since she last saw the owner of the cottage.

Throwing her sack over her shoulder, Sam struts over to the door and gives it a heavy knock.

“Aye, anybody home? It’s the tax collector!”

[sweetbitterpdf]

walking along a sidewalk, hands cold from the wind, snacking on a clementine that a friend pressed into your hands a few hours ago, the sun shining despite the cold.

[crownmemes]

Life Sentences, Vol. 3

(Sentences from Life (2007-2009). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"I don't need legal advice, thank you."

"If you send flowers, it usually means one of two things: you're really in love, or you're really sorry."

"If it weren't important, you wouldn't say that it's not important, so it must be pretty important for you to say that it's not important, right?"

"When two people go through something dark like that, it bonds them."

"Don't worry about me. I don't want it, I don't need it. Just don't do it."

"That's the last time you don't tell me what's happening when it's happening, you got it?"

"Are you all special agents? Because if you're all special, then none of you are really special, right?"

"This isn't the part where you kiss me, is it?"

"Did you ever have a nickname? Would you like one? Come on, I'm really good at them!"

"You never said sorry for shooting me."

"You're a real tough guy, aren't you."

"Were you always so serious? Even as a child?"

"You should get yourself a boat!"

"Do you think two people can be perfect for each other?"

"Do you think you can tell who a person is just by looking in their eyes?"

"Here in my kitchen, just me and my knives, it's calming."

"I've never met a woman before who killed people because it's her job!"

"You wrote down what I said?"

"Maybe she's a robot. Have you seen her blink? Robots don't blink."

"Just so you know, I'm not a robot."

"I could have killed you if I wanted to."

"So, are we done shooting each other now?"

"Why would somebody steal the dead guy's blood?"

"Turn that music back on - loud!"

"Am I going to die? I mean, soon?"

"What's the possible upside to asking a question like that?"

"Why do the police always ask questions they already know the answers to?"

"I know everything. It's almost always disappointing."

"You could have killed me! You didn't, but you could have!"

"You've made some interesting career choices."

[crownmemes]

Life Sentences, Vol. 2

(Sentences from Life (2007-2009). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"I'm not Robin, am I? You know, like Batman and Robin."

"You just can't stay away, can you?"

"Is that a real gun? Can I touch it?"

"My lawyer says I can't talk about stuff like that."

"I'm sure some people find you charming, but I don't."

"You don't think very much of me, do you?"

"Do you have to touch everything?"

"You know who I am, don't you?"

"I know you've got a secret. Won't you tell it to me?"

"How come every time you come around, someone ends up getting hurt?"

"No killing today, alright?"

"I want to talk about the kiss."

"Sometimes an emotional injury doesn't show itself right away."

"You know you're a suspect, right?"

"If you come after me, you better bring more than that pretty smile."

"You've got to stop doing this, or I'm going to arrest you, okay?"

"You are not a very good bodyguard."

"I really wanted to shoot him."

"I thought you weren't coming."

"Is this the part where you tell me there's something I should know?"

"I know she's a cat, but she's dear to my heart."

"I called you nine times. You didn't call me back."

"I'm a suspect, aren't I?"

"Do you only date cops?"

"How do you tell a good cop from a bad cop?"

"I'm not used to doing this while sober."

"You run away trying to fix everything, but you're the one who is broken."

"Would you stay somewhere where no one wanted you?"

"The hotel only had one room?"

"I look like a cowboy, don't I?"

[crownmemes]

Life Sentences, Condensed

(Sentences from Life (2007-2009). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"It's bad in there. It's your first day back. If you don't think you can handle it, I can do it myself."

"When exactly was the last time you actually met a normal person?"

"Shouldn't innocent until proven guilty be a thing with all of us?"

"Hey, you're that guy, aren't you?"

"Do you think it's smart of you to let a convicted felon handle your money?"

"I want to be the un-wobbling pivot at the centre of an ever-revolving universe. I want to be still."

"You pulled a knife on the suspect?"

"May I ask when you lost your faith?"

"My faith has been gone for so long I can't remember when it was that I lost it, or if I ever even had it."

"You have no idea how the real world works, do you?"

"You're stepping over a line here. You might want to step back."

"How come you only call me when someone's dead?"

"Knowing what you went through, it would be crazy if you didn't go crazy."

"If you keep going where you're going, you're going to find trouble - whether it was there to begin with or not."

"My lawyer says I can't talk about stuff like that."

"I'm sure some people find you charming, but I don't."

"You don't think very much of me, do you?"

"Do you have to touch everything?"

"If you come after me, you better bring more than that pretty smile."

"You've got to stop doing this, or I'm going to arrest you, okay?"

"Is this the part where you tell me there's something I should know?"

"I'm a suspect, aren't I?"

"You run around trying to fix everything, but you're the one who is broken."

"If it weren't important, you wouldn't say that it's not important, so it must be pretty important for you to say that it's not important, right?"

"Don't worry about me. I don't want it, I don't need it. Just don't do it."

"That's the last time you don't tell me what's happening when it's happening, you got it?"

"So, are we done shooting each other now?"

"What's the possible upside to asking a question like that?"

"You've made some interesting career choices."