#lifestuffs

[vampemoqueen]

Things I’m Looking Forward to in the New Year!

- Finishing this Nines painting then paint more

- Finishing this long fic rewrite then write more

- Playing VTMB2 maybe

- Painting and writing for that

- Seeing Daylight maybe

-Finally go on those concerts and travel trips that got canceled this year

- Everything else goes I guess

[shibara]

Musings on HSPness

Posted this on twitter earlier today, and I wanted to elaborate a bit more

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So, via googling some minor issues I've been noticing, I discovered this week that being an HSP (high sensitive person) is a thing, and is a thing I very, very, *very* much am, apparently. 

On hindsight, it explains a TRUCKLOAD of things, but it bugs me when the conclusion is "Those times you feared you were being a whiny butt? Turns out it was most likely brain wiring lol."

I feel like had I known this when younger, I'd have become a less anxious grown-up... I'd have appreciated a word sooner, science! ò__ ó

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The weird thing is, thinking deeply about this, I think I actually grew up in a household in where I’m pretty damn sure at least one, or both of my parents had this very same thing.

I don’t know how to explain the thing, but it became super obvious later in life when I met Emma’s and other people’s families, that there where a number of things that were huuuuge no-nos in mine that either didn’t exist or were not given much attention in any others.

For example, we had an unspoken rule in where you NEVER turned on more than one source of noise/music in the house. Like, say, hearing music in the living-room was frowned upon if someone was watching tv in the kitchen first. Also the standards of what was considered ‘loud’ in my house was about regular hearing level everywhere else (if you could somewhat hear it behind a closed door, it was way too loud). 

My mom would rather spend morning almost until it was noon with all lights off, even in rooms with no windows, and usually no music/radio/tv on. She’d also always wibble super easily, and become emotional very quickly. Also wouldn’t watch any horror/action/drama movie if she could avoid it.

Small repetitive noises were The Pest and would be hunted mercilessly until they stopped. Anything from a whining light fixture to small munching noises. Like, seriously I can’t emphasize enough the level of disapproval there was in my house for noises, the accidental chink of metal cutlery against glass dishes more than once or twice during a meal was enough to get some serious parental disapproving looks.

Now, none of that ever bothered me because I’ve always felt most of those things where like, commonly irritating and to be avoided everywhere, but it took me a while to realize this was not quite so. 

When that happened, I figured my folks were probably pretty damn neurotic, and had kindly passed that trait along, but I do wonder now.

[potatoesrawesome]

/sweats/ I have a test run on Thursday to see if I’m qualified for another dental job. I’m capable but still anxious ya know. Environment seems WAY better tho. Which is a positive. Other youths THANK GOD. If I saw a swath of old white men I’d be GONE.

[shibara]

Imma do the thing ò u ó

Haven’t painted in acrylics in a while. Hope I don’t fudge up > u <

[shibara]

Time for a personal piece.

Have a young, lost Megatron, as the realization hits that he lives in a fundamentally unfair and terrible world.

I had not thought of where the image was gonna go other than what the expression ought to look like. Then someone on the stream said that it looked a bit like Megs and I thought that it was fitting.

Sad rl things under the cut.

These past few days have been a bit like a hail storm.

A person whom I liked a lot passed away last Wednesday. 

He was the father of a very dear friend of mine. I hadn’t see him often lately nor really had a close relationship with him, but he’d always been so very nice to me.

He was still quite young, and funny, and had always had a billion anecdotes to tell. I remember sometimes hearing him play the piano wonderfully when I went to visit. 

He made things, and had good advice and I think he was essentially a good man who made the world a bit of a brighter place.

I am so sad he’s gone and I am so very sad for my friend and her mom, and the world feels like such an unfair, bitter thing to me right now. I can’t think of anyone less deserving of grief than them.

I started working on this because I had the overwhelming need to pin down in a picture that feeling one gets when there is something wrong, something that’s essentially unfair and terrible, but there’s no real way you can do or say anything to make it better.

It’s such a numb, frustrating feeling… I wish one could just punch the reality back into its proper shape and make things right again for the ones we love.

[shibara]

In here I present you Tato being a patient kitteh while I annoying him, because he is fluffy and I had to smoosh all that hair (while some Person of Interest runs in the background).

It’s not very audible, but he does one of those tiny sleepy cat noises near the end which murdered me a bit.

[shibara]

This feeling

When you had stopped reading fics for a pretty long time for a variety of reasons, but then one day you read one of the beloveds again, your brain explodes and you remember.

And then you want to read everything there ever was all over again.

[shibara]

PLANTS!!! MY BABIES!!!!!! Let me tell you about them!!

I hardly ever do, but today was the day, for today Emma gave me as a present that frigging gorgeous monstera obliqua in the first pic LOOK HOW GORGEOUS IT ISSSS aaAAAAAaaaAAAAH TT u TT

The second pic’s an artillery plant I had been eyeing for a while, and finally got last week, from the plant shop that’s a couple of buildings away from my apartment. That shop’s run by a tiny man with an extremely thick italian accent that reminds me SO MUCH to an old man that lived near my childhood home. I kinda wanna buy every single plant he sells. TwT

The third pic’s a couple of cuttings I potted today. They came from a succulent my grandparents own, which does these weird thing in where some branches are mostly green with pink edges, and some are almost entirely pink with green splotches in the middle. If anyone recognizes the species, please let me know. I’ve been trying to look it up but can’t seem to find it. >w<

The one with a bunch of different plants are the permanent residents of my dinning table. One of my cacti has flowered this year, and the coleus has recovered from the pest that had decimated it last year. They are quite a happy bunch right now. /T u T\

The swedish ivy’s basically the most explosive plant in the house. It started as a couple of cuttings with about 4 leaves each which I planted at the start of the year or so. Sometime last month it had grown so much I had to curl it around the top and I’ve already pruned it once after that. It’s by far the happiest plant I own... it’s probably the fact that it’s really good at telling when it wants water, so I don’t frag up the watering as much. <:D

The next one’s some of the flowers that sprouted all over my mother of millions this year. Poor thing’s not handling the sun that well, but I’m no sure what to do about it, cause I can’t move it anywhere else now, it’s gotten so big. TTwTT

Last one’s a bunch of freesieas I gave myself as a present last week, cause the freesias season has started and I can’t get enough of their smell. >w< Also, that’s my working desk (and me checking furaffinity submissions, which miraculously don’t contain anything nsfw).