A 2003-ESQUE ONLINE JOURNAL POST.
I'm supposed to be asleep right now, but I'm not. I came home from another core group session with the Light Thursdays family. And I just came home wanting to write about tonight.
Well, not really. I don't plan to act like it's some year 2000 and write about all PRIVATE my thoughts in this online journal. And to write what we opened up with in the core group session. :)
Wait. I think that's exactly what I'm doing. I just maybe want to share that I feel very light, positive and hopeful. Not sure if this is your vibe, but you have a minute or two to listen, read on.
--
We gathered tonight to share about some meme posts we find hilarious online, to challenge each other with some mind games, and of course, to do life checks on each other.
I remember my growth with this family. It's not just personal growth and spiritual growth that I've had with these people. It's also growth in dreams. I remember just a year ago I was with these same people, cooking for dinner, and some of them were dreaming about having a baby, some were getting married, and some just had a new house.
And now these same people already got what they prayed for. Lysh is pregnant and now just praying for good health for the family and to be able to be the best mother she can be to her daughter. Brother Didoy and Sis Mayi are now getting married. And wow, a lot of other blessings that are too private to share here. :)
It's also very cool because Brother George just came home from the Hillsong Conference in Australia so he brought us some Timtams! He also shared to us firsthand some life changing stories he heard from the conference. <333
(And well, before he took a selfie of the group, he saved his own fishtank face on my phone. Of course, we can't go without uploading this one. Hahaha!)
--
It's just so inspiring to be with these people. To feel like I'm pulled up and shaken every time we do this core group session. To listen to the Word and to reflect how it talks to us.
After they shared about doing things they don't know why, and doing things just because they know it's a call and it is of God's will. I excused myself for sharing something that might not inspire them. Because there are a number of times lately when instead of following without a question, I end up negotiating with God.
At the end of the group discussion, Brother George prayed for us, as usual. And as if a finale, I came last. I was expecting a sermon, I was expecting a "God, hold her still." And then I found these words that swept my heart and owned me in that moment.
It made me forget that I was in some al fresco. It made me forget that I was seated in between our circle. I felt like I was in an open grass and there was no one else.
"We thank you because you are very present, very tangible in Angel's life right now. We thank you for showing yourself very boldly to her. That despite her negotiations, she still has all these dialogues with you. We pray that you will continue to have these conversations with her. May she connect with you God and soon find in her heart the will that you have for her. All that as she serves you."
Just when I thought I was doing all things wrong, I realized that in some tiny percentages, I was still doing something right. And it swept me. Because the way he saw the bright side in me, I'm sure God can do a thousand times better. And right then, I felt God's love once more.
--
I pray to be a Peter.
Peter, who was a fisherman for many years, and yet he followed Jesus, the carpenter, when he taught him how to catch much fish.
One can really not know more than His grander plan. :)
--
So again, I came home inspired. Rebooted. And somehow, I knew that I really am in the right crowd, right place.
xx