Shane: Ilya, wake up
Ilya: it's too late, go back to sleep
Shane: *frantic* okay, so one, don't marry svetlana, ew. you're gonna move to my hometown and be so close to me and we're gonna start a charity together, and it's a front but it's also going to matter to us a whole bunch, and you'll get Canadian citizenship and we will be best friends but also get married and get a dog and have three kids, and be happy and live together forever, sound good?
Ilya: *crying* I love you
Shane: *flabbergasted* holy shit










