#lilith <3

[iatethedoves]

Dont even need to listen to anything else from Ethel cain waco texas is enough it will bring me to my death 🥺

will it bring me to my death too? (ill listen to it when i get on my computer!)

[sillylittlemeowl]

i keep reading your url as paras tikki which is a mispronounciation of parad tikki annaj me daalne vali <33

whats parad tikki mean?? T-T

[jamfamquotes]

Lilith:

[mxmentos]

memories.

song ; memories by conan gray. characters ; xiao x y/n genre ; angst to fluff, songfic word count ; 2.1k cw/tw ; none a/n ; collab fic between @mxmentos and @vellichxrr6782 ! ilysm lilith thank you so much for writing with me <33 looking forward to more collabs !! you can find more fics in our masterlist !!

it's been a couple months.

xiao stared at his phone with a blank expression on his face. he scrolled through pictures of you and him, sighing. he fiddled around with the sleeves of his knitted sweater, reminiscing the day when you gifted it to him for your anniversary. 

a few months had passed since you and xiao broke up. it was on your request, but xiao couldn’t help but blame himself entirely for it, even after reassurance from you that it wasn’t about him at all.

that’s just about enough time,

despite telling himself numerous times to stop looking at pictures of the past, his gaze always lingered on the gallery app for far too long, to the point where he had to open them. it was routine by now, and xiao had long given up on trying to stop himself from reliving what was already gone.

xiao grumbled to himself, reprimanding himself for his repetitive and unfruitful actions. he took one last glance at you, grinning in the photo he took of you. a smile made its way to his face, his features softening. 

for me to stop crying when i look at all the pictures,

he wasn’t used to the silence your absence brought. xiao swore he could still hear your voice sometimes, albeit he realised phrasing it like that made it sound like you were dead. you weren’t, fortunately. 

xiao switched his phone off, closing his eyes as he let himself collect his thoughts. 

now i kinda smile, i haven't felt that in a while.

xiao sometimes wished he could turn back time. everyone did, once in a while, right? he wished he could’ve said something when you turned around and left through the door, leaving only his memories of you behind.

he often wondered to himself – what could he have done to make things better? what could he have done to change the way things turned out?

what could he have done in order to make you stay?

it's late, i hear the door

bell ringin' and it's pourin'

xiao’s eyes widened; who would visit him this late? he usually didn’t have visitors, certainly after what had happened a while back. he got up from his bed, quickly making his way down the empty silent hallways of his home. it wasn’t exactly home without you, though.

“who is it?” he asked, before opening the door.

“it’s me, [name]!” a muffled familiar voice echoed from the other side.

the sudden tone of your voice made xiao’s heart thump faster than it had ever before. perhaps he was dreaming, but he felt wider awake than he had ever been. he even resorted to pinching the skin of his left arm just to make sure. “[name]...?”

i open up that door, see your brown eyes at the entrance

xiao opened the curtains and couldn’t believe his eyes. it was the same [h/c] hair, the same star-studded eyes, and the same gentle, little smile. was it really you?

xiao hesitated to turn the doorknob. why did he, though? isn’t this moment the one he had been waiting for, the one that he had been picturing in his dreams for months now?

the time when you would finally come back to him with open arms? the time when you considered… a second chance?

you just wanna talk and,

xiao shook his head, trying to get those thoughts away from him. you were finally outside his door, and he didn’t want you to be drenched in the rain. sighing, he turned the doorknob and was face-to-face with your welcoming smile.

“hi.” you waved, grinning. your cheeks were flushed with red. you leaned in close to xiao. “xiao.” 

i can't turn away a wet dog

you leaned in, your breath fanning across xiao’s soft skin, and then it struck him when the scent of alcohol filled the air. 

you were drunk.

he felt a slight pang in his heart that you didn’t visit him in your right state of mind, but he brushed it away and made way for you to come in. he couldn’t send you away, now, could he?

“[name]. you’re drunk.” xiao mumbled, and you stumbled into the house, crashing into his arms. 

xiao’s cheeks flushed pink, and he tried to push you off, but failed. he told himself it was because you were heavy, and not because he didn’t have the heart to. 

“was with,” you began, swallowing, “hu tao. i got…drunk.” 

of course you were with hu tao. in who else’s company would you irresponsibly get drunk and crash at your ex’s place?

“tao called up. yanfei.” you stated, burying your face into xiao’s sweater. “i, hic, didn’t know where else to go.” 

“you could’ve gone home.” xiao said, a little too harshly. you nodded in a ‘no’.

“but you are my home.” 

but please don't ruin this for me.

xiao furrowed his brows, the blush on his cheeks growing wider second by second. it was stupid how you made him blush by spewing nonsense. “shut up.” he said. “please.” the please was softer, and you barely heard it. 

“i try to be cute and romantic, and you’re…you’re.” you puffed your cheeks, trying to sound angry.

xiao raised a brow, amused (but tired). “i’m what?”

“i forgot the word.”

xiao let out a small sigh, getting up. you frowned. “i’ll get you a glass of water.” he made his way to his kitchen, and you followed like a lost puppy. 

please don't make it harder than it already is,

you rest your head on the kitchen counter, watching xiao fill up a glass. even though you were drunk, you’d still noticed how nothing had changed since you left. 

the pictures on the fridge of you and him (which xiao would definitely claim he forgot to remove even though the truth was he didn’t have the heart to), the plants you both decided to grow together, and everything. 

xiao didn’t like change. and you knew that better than anyone. he despised it, almost. he could never cope with it. 

in deep thought, your eyes met with his.

“you’re so pretty, xiao.” you smiled, a dream-like expression washing over your face. 

xiao stiffened up, quickly turning away from you to hide his face. in his bashful state, he managed to mumble out. “please, [name]. i can’t.”

“you can’t what?” you asked. 

xiao looked you in the eyes, desperation clear as day. 

“i can’t fall in love with you. not again.” 

i’m trying to get over this

that was a lie. he was always in love with you. he’d already fallen for you again the second he saw your face at the door. you playfully chuckled, meeting his eyes as he tried to avert them from your gaze for what seemed like the millionth time. 

“silly xiao! don’t lie to me, you love me, and you know it. that sweater you’re wearing is proof enough for me.” you cheerfully remarked, and xiao realised he’d forgotten to remove it. 

he sighed as he handed over a cup filled with water to you, unwilling to admit his lingering feelings towards you that refused to go away. you drank the water in one, big gulp as xiao took a seat next to you. you turned to him with dreamy eyes, leaning closer to him.

“xiao… don’t you know how much i miss you, love?”

“you’re just saying this because you’re drunk.” xiao took a seat on the chair in the kitchen, resting his head on his arm. he couldn’t wait for you to leave, he thought in his head, but then immediately backed it up with a remark about lying to himself. 

“sober words are drunk thoughts.” you claimed, crossing your arms proudly, as if you’d just found the cure to cancer. 

“no, it’s the other way around.”

“whatever, same thing. you know what i mean.” 

i wish that you would stay in my memories

you placed your hand on his cheeks, caressing it gently. he flinched, but didn’t have the heart to back away from you. he hoped for something to force him to speak his mind. how had it become this hard to utter a simple “no”?

he sighed, knowing that this was now or never. if he let you back into his life, it meant that you would break his delicate, glass shards of his heart into mere fragments. if he didn’t, then it would be for the best for the both of you.

without thinking, he began to remove your hand from his palm. you looked slightly taken aback by his unexpected actions, but he didn’t care anymore. or at least, he thought he didn’t.

he began to rise from his seat and turn away, fixing his eyes upon one of the pictures stuck on the fridge. it was the one taken around october in which you rested your head over xiao’s shoulder. only if his younger self had known you better, he thought, this crisis would have never existed.

to be honest with himself, he truly wished that you were the same person he met under the cherry tree that fateful day. the same person whom he had cherished and stayed in his memories.

but you show up today, just to ruin things

of course, the only thing keeping him away from expressing these feelings was you.

he didn’t mind it, though. his inexpressibility only gave him an excuse to stay with you. but he didn’t know how much longer he could keep up with this. how much longer he would be your boxing bag for you to exert your feelings on as long as you pleased.

it would be an understatement to say that he missed you over the months that passed. his thoughts of you never swerved away like the seasons did. he really did wish to see your face again, to feel your lips touching his for one, last time.

i wanna put you in the past 'cause i'm traumatised

by the time he turned back to meet your starry gaze, you were asleep on his kitchen counter. his lungs filled with adoration at the sight of you. he couldn’t help but smile as he imagined the look on your face the next morning.

as much as he hoped that you would see him again, he never expected the day to come. his heart was filled with regret from the way he treated you tonight, reminding himself that this might’ve been the last chance he ever went up this close to his ex.

all-in-all, he was grateful that you visited him, even if you didn’t mean to.

but you're not lettin' me do that, 'cause tonight,

you're all drunk in my kitchen, curled in the foetal position

xiao carefully lifted your body, which was now in the foetal position. he slowly carried you towards his bedroom. he placed his feet on the staircase, one step after another. he made sure to not make any noise so that you wouldn’t wake up.

xiao opened the door with his elbow, and made his way to the bed. he gently laid your body on top of the mattress before placing a blanket over you. you rested your head on the fluffy pillow as xiao sat beside you on a chair nearby. 

he adored your features, all from your velvety hair to your dainty toes. he resisted the urge to place his hand over yours. then again, this might be the last time he would ever see you. he hesitantly cupped your cheeks in his hands, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

too busy playing the victim to be listening to me when i say,

he caressed your face, as you slept soundly. affection danced in his eyes while his fingers ran themselves through your messy and knotted hair. xiao smiled softly to himself, whispering ‘good night’ to you. 

he was about to leave, when he felt your hand grasp his. “don’t go, xiao.” you mumbled drowsily. 

and who was xiao to say no to you? no matter how hard he tried, he would always give in to you no matter what. 

he carefully put his head on the pillow, making sure to not disturb you. he faced to look at you, observing your soft features under his dim bedroom lights, and he leaned in. 

pressing a gentle, chaste kiss to your forehead again, xiao wrapped his arms around you to keep you warm. 

i wish that you would stay in my memories,

it’s funny, isn’t it? where life leads you from one place to another. just mere hours ago, he was disheartened about you being gone, and now, he was embracing you as if nothing happened. 

he wished he’d made different choices, ones that would’ve left you in his past, as a chapter, rather than in the present, as his story. 

in my memories, stay in my memories.

but nevertheless, it was too late for xiao.

too late for him to tell you to leave, too late for him to forget you, too late for him to fall out of love again because he knew it wasn’t possible.

it was too late for him to wish you would stay in his memories.

fic by @/mxmentos and @/vellichxrr6782 on tumblr. note: we do not own any of the lyrics in this story, they belong to the original creators of the song. please support the artist(s) by listening to the song linked above, thank you <33

[ask-lucifer-morningstar]

Hello, Luci~

- @ask-yourstruly-lilithmorningstar

Lili! You've been busy recently, no? It's lovely to see you again, darling.

[kpophubb]

I just read the Lily thingy you said👩‍🦯🧍‍♀️ how to NOT hate this bitch. Sooha, Lily- I swear all of the dumb bitches have my name- I HATE LILY BLOOM. SHE CAN GET OUT

Istg she should be banned. The book should get cancelled bc of her. Lily is literally the most annoying character of all! Ryle and atlas both deserve better 😭

And SOOHA?!

omg pls I liked her at first and believe me I didn’t even start disliking her bc heli biting her and all that. Since it’s a teen romance webtoon, I knew eventually one of those characters would be in love with her and since the start it was indicated to be heli BUT SHE RUINED THE WHOLE WEBTOON story and DESERVES TO BE CANCELLED. Cause the storyline was supposed to be about the 7 boys and how they were vampires and their journey of how they get accepted inside the outside world and truly embrace themselves and grow. But suddenly, the story BECAME ALL ABOUT HER and the characters began fighting amongst themselves for her?!

To the point they became severely injured ?! Like what kind of story is that. Is it called “dark moon: the blood alter” or “simping over sooha” ?! Disgusting.

[iatethedoves]

I didnt notice your blog turned purple and im fucking with it hard..

got so excited when i saw that i had someone in my inbox and got even more excited to see it was a mutual! hi! hello! thank you for always complimenting my blog :]]]] makes me so very happy ♡♡♡♡

im also fucking hard with the purple! i need to make more purple themed stuff.... planning on making a purple sam winchester banner!

[iatethedoves]

@naturalbornlser — you are a sunflower.

sunflowers represent positivity, optimism, resilience, and perseverance. the fact that they face the sun shows unwavering determination and hope.

why i thought of it: i have noticed how supportive you are, not only of me, but of many other people. you'll leave comments, asks, and even talk about them in your posts sometimes. every interaction with you is a positive one and i appreciate that. i think about that one time that you got all the way to college without the stuff you needed, and personally, i would've crashed out if that happened to me, but no, you persevered. and you continue to do so in many other situations.

click here to be assigned a flower