#lilium-inter-spenius

[princeinmyownright-blog]

@lilium-inter-spenius 💀 for what my muse would say upon hearing about your muse’s death

Severus had been going over papers, doing anything to distract his mind from what was happening, everything he had caused.  Because of him Lily was in danger.  Voldemort had decided that Lily’s son was the one spoken of in the prophesy.  According to Dumbledore, the Potters were safe, but Severus knew the cunning of the Dark Lord better than Dumbledore.  He had ways of getting information out of people that the Order couldn’t begin to fathom.  

A noise behind him caused Severus to turn, a figure coming tumbling out of the fireplace.  Severus was glad he had it connected to the Floo Network.  He was startled to see Lucius Malfoy, covered in soot, his eyes wild.  Lucius, the man who’s illustrious hair was always in place, was disheveled, almost gasping for breath.  Severus stood, offering a hand to steady his friend.  

“Lucius, wha-”

“He’s dead.”  Severus stared at Lucius, almost uncomprehending. 

“He who, Lucius.”

“The Dark Lord.  He’s gone.  He’s dead.  We’re finished.”  Severus gaped at Lucius, who sank into the chair at Severus’s desk.  He couldn’t believe the words he was hearing, that the Dark Lord was dead?  Severus knew the strength and determination of the dark wizard.  

“What do you mean, Lucius.  What happened?”  

“Apparently he found the Potter boy, went to kill him.” Severus sucked a breath involuntarily.  He couldn’t have found the Potter boy.  Dumbledore said, he promised, insisted they would be ok.  Severus steadied himself against his desk, eyes searching Lucius’s face.  “Found their house, got it out of their secret keeper somehow.  Maybe betrayed them or was tortured enough to get it out of them, I don’t know.  Somehow the boy survived and the Dark Lord was killed by his own curse.”  

“The boy... survived?  How, did Potter kill the Dark Lord before he reached the child?  Were the order members ”

“No.  He managed to kill that bastard James and his mudblood wife before he went after the son.”  Severus flinched at hearing the word before the meaning of the sentence set in.  For one glorious second they were simply words strung together, each individually recognizable without comprehending the full sentence.  Slowly, slowly, the words began to string together.  The Dark Lord killed.  The Dark Lord killed James Potter.  The Dark Lord killed James Potter and went after his son.  The Dark Lord killed James Potter and his wife and went after his son.  The Dark Lord killed James Potter and Lily Potter and then...

Lily was dead.  

There was a hole.  There was a hole in the pit of his stomach and it was growing.  Water blurred the edges of his vision as the room around him seemed to spin.  It felt as if Severus couldn’t breathe, that he would never breathe again.  There was a feeling he had never felt before, it was pressing in on him from all sides and seemed to be crushing him.  Somehow at the same time he felt as if he were floating, stretching into a million directions and floating away into nothing.  

Severus staggered backward, the room swimming around him.  He tried to steady his breaths but he was loosing control.  It wasn’t possible.  She couldn’t be dead.  She couldn’t be gone forever.  

“Look, they’ll be coming after us soon.  I wanted to warn you.  I have to go, I have to tell Narcissa and see Draco before they come for me.  With any luck we’ll be able to talk our way out of Azkaban.” Lucius stood quickly and turned back to the fireplace.  “Good luck Sev.”  Severus managed a nod toward Lucius as he vanished in the fire.  He stared into the emerald flames as they died down after transporting Lucius.  The realization of what had happened came out of his mouth in a choke of involuntary words.  

“It’s my fault.”  

Severus collapsed onto the floor of his office, gasping for air.  He almost thought if he cried he would be able to get over it but even tears wouldn’t come.  Just this strange gulping in his throat as he braced himself against his desk.  He tried to think of something to put his mind at ease, but every thought went back to her.  As children, rescuing her from her horrible muggle sister.  As first years discovering the magic of Hogwarts together.  Their free periods shared out on the grounds. Times when things seemed perfect.  

That day in fifth year when it all went wrong.  The fighting, the attempts at apologies.  The moment he turned his back on her to serve Voldemort.  The battles he knew he fought against her.  The confrontations they had after graduation, words exchanged with venom.  

Overhearing the prophesy and telling the Dark Lord.  Begging Dumbledore to keep her safe, whatever the cost.  Turning to the Order, working for them the past few weeks as they attempted to protect her and it was all for nothing, it was all hopeless, it was all his fault.  

Severus was shaking.  He had to go to Dumbledore, he had to find a way to make it right, to find out for sure.  Maybe Lucius had been mistaken.  Maybe somehow she had survived.  Dumbledore would know.  Severus stood, unsteady but determined.  He would go and see Dumbledore and get it sorted out.  For now, he had convinced himself that there was still some way she had survived it all.  He grabbed his wand and rushed out of his office to Dumbledore’s.  

His heart fell out of his chest somewhere along the way, leaving him with an emptiness that would remain for the rest of his life.  

[moodilyalastor-blog]

👪 for what my muse would say to your muse’s child about them.

“Your mom--well the life she had, it was well-lived. She was brave and fierce an determined to prove people wrong if they said she couldn’t do something. She was eager to learn, and she learned quickly. But she was also very empathetic. Kind. She liked people and liked helping ‘em. Partly why she went in for being an Auror I suspect.  She was a quick thing, both mentally and physically. She liked a challenge. And she-she was so full of life, and so excited for it. Things got hard, but she was always looking towards the future. Right to the end. Right to when she realized that it was your future she had to look towards. She was a good girl, your mother. A good girl.”

@lilium-inter-spenius

[casually-furious-blog]

☽ = wandering alone at night .

Arms crossed over her chest, Lucinda walked through the darkened Hyde Park. While she usually liked to people watch here during the day, she found it more peaceful of late to come at night. She stayed on the pathways out of the trees, though. Too many shadows made her jumpy.

Breathing in the night air, Lucinda hoped that it would calm her and help her to sleep. She hadn’t decided where exactly she would sleep, but she needed to actually feel tired first. She needed to feel something other than that there was a weight on her chest and a knot in her stomach. But she also knew that she needed not to feel.  She didn’t want to think about her parents or where they were.  She had no doubt that wherever they were, it was not sitting on a beach and sipping piña coladas.  She couldn’t think of the pain they were in, though she could imagine it. She had seen victims of Death Eaters before.

Taking a shaky breath, Lucinda pushed the images from the papers out of her mind. Instead, she raised her eyes to look at the way the moonlight reflected off the water to her right. As she did so, however, she spotted a figure, moving towards her from the opposite direction. 

Suddenly on high alert, Lucinda felt herself tense. Her hand felt for her wand in her sleeve, sliding along the length of it, trying to calm herself, but ready to pull it out. She kept her pace, though. She was not so cowed tonight that she would turn tail and run from an oncoming person. As the two drew nearer, Lucinda was suddenly glad she had held her ground. 

Familiar red hair caught the moon’s glow and green eyes raised to Lucinda’s own. Lily looked surprised to see Lucinda. Lucinda recognized her own protective posture; the hands crossed over her chest and shoulders hunched. The other girl looked as troubled as she felt, though Lily quickly hid it. 

“I was just out for a walk,” Lucinda offered. 

“Me too,” Lily responded. 

Lucinda turned and began walking again next to Lily. 

Nothing else needed to be said. The silence was comfortable and the company...well it was welcome.

@lilium-inter-spenius

[casually-furious-blog]

“I’m your friend, of course I care!”

“We--we’re friends?” Lucinda blinked in surprise.

She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the comment. How ironic, the Gryffindor and the Slytherin. They weren’t meant to be friends and yet....Well Lily had moved past that, moved out of Hogwarts. And Lucinda was starting to doubt whether House loyalty was everything. She supposed she would see once the school year started again. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be Lily’s friend. She just would never admit it to herself. And she hadn’t thought that the red head would also consider her a friend. She had so few of those it seemed lately.

[siriusblackstar-blog]

A Change in the Weather || Lily & Sirius

Swinging by Lily’s apartment, he poised his hand over her door, his heart beating firmly at his pulse point. He could feel it leaping, his palm sweating, as he thought of the fact that the last two times he’d seen Lily she had been at risk. Both times, he felt as though it was his fault, even though only the first time had truly been his fault. He couldn’t help feeling responsible for all of it though; Lily’s safety should have been his first priority when they’d gone to visit that contact. He should have put her first. He knew she could take care of herself, but there was no one more important in James’s life than her. If anything ever happened to her because of him, he’d never forgive himself.

It felt odd that his foolish, reckless nature had nearly gotten her killed. As though somehow they all should have expected as much. He was a runaway train, constantly derailing from the tracks, putting anyone and everyone in his way in danger. It was a scary thought, because it meant that he couldn’t stop it either. Despite how hard he tried, he couldn’t get a grip on how to keep himself from creating a mess at every turn. How his friends ever put up with him this long, he had no idea.

Swallowing thickly, he squared his shoulders, bravely pounding his fist down on the door before opening it, popping his head in the door. “Red?” He called out, raising both brows. “The better half of your boyfriend has arrived for our date! I’d have brought you chocolates, but I figured they would have ruined the icecream.”

[moodilyalastor-blog]

☾

1)Moody knows Lily doesn’t always like his crude talk, so he makes sure to keep it up when she’s around. He doesn’t say anything rude to her, or that she can object to, though.

2)Moody takes Lily along on cases to do with charms gone astray or where he thinks she can use Charms to help strengthen and foster her ability. He doesn’t tell her that’s why he’s taking her on those particular calls, though.

3)Connected with above, the training Moody does with Lily has to do with everything except Charms and he is constantly pushing her to improve in all other areas too.

[princeinmyownright-blog]

Unquestionable // Severus & Regulus & Lily & Sirius

August 15, 1978

Questionable Alliances Prompt

@siriusblackstar, @regulusblack-sonandheir, @lilium-inter-spenius

Severus was not looking forward to his mission tonight.  He had been frustrated with the level of missions he had been sent on before, but this was an entirely different feeling.  

He had thought he was doing well, proving his loyalty.  Severus had distanced himself from all unfavorable persons.  He took great pains to respect and even suck up to the pureblood members of their army.  He completed every mission assigned to him without complaining and perfectly. Well, apart from the church fiasco, where he had retreated, for all appearances, to tend to Lucius.  

But the Dark Lord was an accomplished wizard at Legilimency. While Severus had been painstakingly practicing closing parts of his mind to the Dark Lord so certain things were hidden, sometimes things slipped through the mental barrier.  The problem of Lily was a big one, and Severus realized that.  He hadn’t talked to her, really, in years.  But lately it seemed that every time he turned around she was there.  It was like she was haunting him on purpose, trying to get him to turn away from everything he had clawed and scratched for up to now.  Evans was going to ruin everything he had worked for.  

Yet he couldn’t seem to let her go.

Torturing muggles was not a new concept, at least not to the likes of the Death Eaters.  They had been doing so for a while now, but Severus always elected to attack the ones that had connections to the opposite side of the war.  This would be the first time he targeted a random family, but it wasn’t without purpose.  He had to prove his loyalty to the cause.  

He met Regulus early morning, far before the sun would rise.  Others among their ranks had been tasked to set up the bait, setting up a fake meeting between Evans, Black, and someone who claimed to have further information about the Death Eater’s movements.  How Lily and Black had been idiotic enough to actually follow through with it was beyond Severus.  He supposed he expected the sort of idiocy from Black, but he thought Lily was smarter than that.  Perhaps too much time with Potter, and foolishness rubbed off.  

The two of them approached, masks covering their faces and spells concealing the tones of their voices.  He was in no mood to hear Lily’s venom towards his position among the Death Eaters, and he couldn’t be distracted by Sirius’s jabs at him.  Tonight it was important that nothing went wrong.  It was imperative that both Severus and Regulus proved they were worth being part of the Dark Lord’s chosen warriors.  

He nodded briefly at Regulus before casting petrificus totalus on Evans.  He let Regulus take care of Sirius as they stalked forward towards the order members. They approached and easily took their wands from them. Severus knew it was time to play the part to perfection.  

“Evans, Black.  You two have the unparallelled pleasure of being witness to an important Death Eater mission.  For your personal enjoyment, you get a small peek into the daily goings-on of a member in the Dark Lord’s service.  You really should feel honored,” he drawled, “as you’ve been hand-picked for this opportunity.”  A few flicks of his wand and they were wrapped in ropes.  The body bind curse fell off of them and two sets of eyes glared at the masked faces before them.  

“My colleague and I have a treat in store for you.  If you would be so kind as to follow us.”  Severus nodded towards Regulus, inviting him to lead the way to the muggle house they had picked out earlier.  

[princeinmyownright-blog]

Memories Follow You Around // Lily & Snape

Hogsmede

August 1, 1978

@lilium-inter-spenius

It had been a long, pointless day at work, and Severus was tired.  It had been extenuated by the appearance of an owl from Dumbledore in response to his application to work at the school.  The written words were etched into Severus’s mind. 

Though your application was well thought out, it is my thought and the thought of our staff that you do not have the experience we typically seek in candidates.  I would be happy to discuss the issue with you in my office before term starts.  You hold great promise as a wizard and professor, and I hope you will continue to learn and seek out future openings --

At that point Severus had crumpled up the letter, throwing it on the floor of his flat.  And decided he needed to go do something or he would be tempted to break things.  Who did Dumbledore think he was, telling him no but then spouting all that crap about meeting with him and trying again for a position.  He was far more advanced in defensive magic than most people ten years his senior, with his involvement with the Death Eaters.  Not that Dumbledore would know that, but if he just gave him a chance.  

But why would he? No one had ever given him a chance before.  No one had ever cut him a break.  Why had Severus ever let himself get his hopes up that things would be different this time?  

His feet brought him to the center of the town, eyes darting about at the people milling around.  A couple, giggling madly and infuriatingly.  Rosmerta dumping a bucket of some unidentified substance into the street as she flirted with passers-by.  A gruff old man hobbling up the street with his cane.  

And then a flash of red caught his eye.  The unmistakable flash of red hair that made his stomach drop and a lump lodge itself in his throat.  What was she doing here?  Why now?  

All at once he wanted to talk to her and wanted to run away.  Without realizing he felt his steps carry him towards his once-friend.   He snaked in and out of people, approaching her from behind.  When he got close enough, the crowd had cleared some.  No one was paying attention to them, but he didn’t particularly want word getting back to the Death Eaters or the resistance movement that they had been seen talking.  

Without thinking, Severus grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her into an alley between two buildings.  Pushing her against the wall, he covered her mouth with his hand just long enough for recognition to dawn in her eyes.  Those brilliant green eyes he hadn’t seen in years, this close up.  

“Lily, please.” He pleaded, slowly removing his hand.  His mind searched for words that he couldn’t possibly find a way to speak.  He settled for the more pressing issue.

“What are you doing here, Evans.”