Date: January 2nd, 1979
Location: Cokeworth - Under the Willow Tree
Tagging: @mcrningecans
Lily found the owl on the windowsill that morning.
She’d woken up before James, which was rare these days. Neither of them were sleeping, not really. The madness kept them awake. Neither of them could fully comprehend a world without Harry; neither of them could comprehend a world where they might be able to be with him. They weren’t living in this reality, but in the promise of a new future, and while Lily knew that had to be unhealthy, it was easier than thinking about the alternative. It was easier than walking into his nursery, and seeing the boxes piled high.
So, instead, she made herself a cup of coffee and prepared herself for one last day at her old job. One last day as a potioneer. It wasn’t bittersweet; she’d already done this before. Although, last time she’d done it, it was to be a mum. This time, it was to fight for a future where she’d get to be one for longer. Of course, the owl made her pause, and with a quick scratch to its chin, she read the sloping handwriting with a sinking sensation in her stomach.
They hadn’t spoken since Hogwarts, but Severus Snape had lived and he had known her son. And, so it seemed, he remembered everything. Lily swallowed, taken aback by what this might mean. Did other Death Eaters know? Because, while she had never confirmed it, she was certain Severus had joined Lord Voldemort’s ranks after school. Her mind swam with the possibilities, of what it might mean; of what Voldemort might do if he had the knowledge that they all had. But, if he had known, wouldn’t he just have come already? Swept his hands clean of the Potters and be done with it?
No, Lily needed answers, and as much as her stomach sank at the thought of seeing Severus again, she couldn’t help but start writing a note to James. She left the teakettle with a warming spell on the stove, and signed the letter with a small heart, and ran out the door, apparating quickly to the old park.
It hurt, being here again. Lily could see them playing in the field; smaller versions of themselves, of course, full of life and laughter. She wondered what had happened to them; what had happened to Severus. What had she done to make him think that he couldn’t be good? But, no, that was no way to think. Severus had chosen his own path. He’d made his choices. Even now, as Lily stood under their old willow tree, she began to question seeing him again. Still, he’d said Harry had had her eyes.
There was only one way he’d know that.
Somehow, she could still pick his footsteps apart from the crowd. The long, slow steps. Lily didn’t have to turn around to know it was him, and for a second, she debated not looking at him. Maybe, it would be easy that way. But, she wasn’t a coward; she wasn’t going to let him take her pride from her. So, she straightened, looked him dead in the eyes, and managed out a simple “Hello, Severus.”
After that, it was his turn to do the work.
Waking to a world so familiar; yet so foreign had sent Snape’s mind reeling with what it all meant. What information was out there that could harm him, Lily, and bring about that cursed time he had merely survived in? Who was privy to it all - and to how much? Did the Dark Lord return to this time as well? Was he defeated? There were many questions swarming his mind; buzzing about relentlessly, without any guidance from Dumbledore to help sort through them. As far as he knew, Severus was on his own until he found others that remembered as well. If they even believed the outcomes to be true.
Seemingly alone, Severus knew the next person he had to see: Lily Potter. Confirm that she was alive and well. Before any prophecy was read - before any target was put on the Potters’ backs. Although, he had to know...did she remember as well? If so, how much did she know? Did others seek her out as well? No matter the case, Snape also knew that it was a long shot to get to agree to meet him. And so, to both find out if she had any memories of what was to come, and get her to meet with him, Severus crafted a message that would intrigue her either way; and bring her to a familiar place; a place they once called home. Filled with happiness and cheer from a lifetime ago.
Dressed in his new robes, Severus clasped the last of his numerous buttons on his sleeve before apparating to their old park. The setting caused a slight flinch on his countenance, pushing away those horrid memories of his family from so long ago...slowly walking up to the willow tree. The flash of fiery red hair stopped him in his tracks for a moment. So many years...so much heartbreak...that had been all too real for it to have been a dream. But she was there. Lily.
His heart sped up and Severus glanced down at himself with a gulp. Was he ready for this? Could he change what was to come? Keep her alive? As he stepped forward, Severus briefly thought to his first words to her son, “Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?” to which he thought had been a clever in using the language of flowers as a way to tell the boy that he had cared for his mother and regretted that he couldn’t do more to help; taking those regrets to the grave. And now, here she was...flesh and blood; tangible; as beautiful as ever; kind; and most of all, brave.
“Lily...” Severus replied quietly - as if a mere whisper would cause her to disappear with the wind, “Apologies for the cryptic letter,” his hands folded in front of himself as he stood up straighter, not sure where to begin, “I had to see for myself that you were alive...that...” he looked down, suddenly struggling with what needed to be said; what was important; or the emotions rising in his throat, tightening it, “That you had returned as well,” his brows furrowed, wondering if those memories were still intact; if he could do as he did for Harry - show her all that he knew, “Voldemort killed me before I could see his downfall - see if Harry had won.”
Severus shook his head, realizing how strange it must have sounded and pulled away, “None of this makes any sense.”
