I started this week looking for closure and instead I ripped my heart apart just little bit more.
You, who sided with the sky
took a lover from the stars
and joined heaven and earth.
You, bent knees and bent back
holding the heavenly sphere on your shoulders,
teach me how to endure.
And I—well, I can’t look at roses anymore
since they bloomed from your temple
its petals littering where you eternally sleep.
Your scent of leather and earth
has seeped into my skin.
Our lips, a meeting of velvet and satin.
Our tongues have written novels
unfinished and destroyed.
You self-flagellate like you breathe.
Naturally. Fluidly.
Day 6: I have no clue but if you want to learn about my headcanon of how nontu!Lincoln will be, please go ahead under the cut.
Lincoln has this thing for covering/protecting Octavia’s stomach before they find out she’s pregnant. Once she finds out it kinda clicks into place what he was doing subconsciously.
He draws her a lot as she grows bigger.
He finds her SO attractive as she gets bigger. He jokes it’s because he’s proud of his virility but he just loves knowing it’s his child she’s growing with.
He talks to the kid so much. Like constantly. All the damn time. Even after she’s born he keeps a string of convo with her like she can understand what he’s saying.
They name her Lilith after Adam's first wife (in my own headcanon obv) and though Octavia calls her Lilith quite often, Lincoln opts for Lily instead, after the lilies he used to guide Octavia to his cave with.
When Lily is born and she begins to cry in that heartbreaking way babies first cry as she’s getting cleaned up all, he begins speaking to her like he usually did when she was still in Octavia’s belly and she gets real quiet and relaxed, even looking in his direction. After that all he has to do is talk to her and she usually quiets up.
He doesn’t get overly protective until the last two months of Octavia’s pregnancy because she’s HUGE and complaining of pains etc and he has no idea what to do.
He likes sleeping with his daughter on top of his chest even though Octavia says he’ll spoil her. He only takes naps with her tho because he can’t sleep properly with the fear that he might turn and crush her.
Lily’s first words are dada because Octavia is always teaching her to say it. When she has better language skills Octavia teaches her to say nontu but Lily says nohtu instead and it’s the cutest thing in the world and they both die, ok?
They both take turns taking her to whatever they have to do that day but since Lincoln is usually in meetings between the clans (cause he’s the main ambassador for both tri kru and Sky kru) he will take her to those meetings. It’s normal for tri kru but some other clans who have trouble having children (they protect the children they have with their lives and think of this as endangering their child) and especially sky kru, they all find it a bit strange. Here’s this big mountain of a man talking serious business with a wrap across his torso and the smallest bundle across his chest. When Lily wakes up or fusses he turns into the biggest mother hen and when they have a break he’s feeding Lily a bottle and talking to her like she understand everything.
He has no plans on dying as long as Lily needs him. Death himself couldn’t pry him away from her.
She’s super spoiled by him but because she’s their kid she doesn’t take advantage unless she wants sweets.
Chaley rose is my Lily’s face claim and hair claim. Lily has what I imagined Hermione’s hair was (because from the get go I legit thought hermione was black).
Please feel free to add because this has been the only post that hasn’t made me cry the whole week.
Describe what we have, he asks of her late at night, when the nights are cold and they huddle under the thick covers after a long day. There are no words for what they have, she thinks, but because it's Lincoln she takes the time to ponder his question. What they have is fights---fights that shake the foundation of their small home, fights that leave her breathless and clutching her chest, fights that make her bottom lip tremble until the tears spill down from her eyes like summer rain. They have the type of scars only lovers can inflict, unseen by the naked eye unless one notices the way the corner of her lips turn downward periodically or how his temper is quick to surge. They have a hurricane of a relationship but she'll be damned if she ever gives it up.
What they have is the way they make love, sometimes gentle, sometimes rough, sometimes with nails and teeth and curses, and sometimes only with whisper-like caresses.It's the way he bites her collarbone, harsh and unforgiving; his callous tongue against sensitive skin, the bruises his hands leave behind on her hips. It's his smell in the pillows, in the sheets, in the clothes she steals from him when they get too old to mend and wears around the house. It's his fingers in her hair, upbraiding her locks when they snuggle deep under the covers, drowsiness overcoming them quickly and leaving her hair half undone.
What do we have? he asks of her. A type of heaven, she wants to tell him. It's Lincoln always coming home at night. Every single night. It's the reassurance that he will not leave her behind--- that his hand will always find his way to hers. It’s knowing that, like the moon leaves the sky only momentarily, Lincoln will always find his way back to her. All she has to do is wait.
What they have is a fault line running through both their hearts, deep and capable of great damage. The temblors they’ve felt so far are nothing compared to the big one in store for them in the future and they both know it. So they hold on, broken pieces and cracking armor, in hopes that when it hits, they will be strong enough to face it together.
What do they have? A fairy tale story perhaps, with their own dragons to fight, their own demons to overcome, and what she hopes is a happy ending in their future but their story is not yet finished.
He found it. Not in Octavia, or his people, much less in her people. He definitely didn’t find it in himself. He found it in her.
Lily is tiny, absolutely the smallest thing he's ever held in his arms and yet she's enough to bring him to his knees. She's only a few days old but already she's opened her eyes, hazily looking at him and he's not sure if she can see him properly but she grabs onto his finger with a force that shocks him and refuses to let go. Octavia hands her to him, happily fed and satisfied, making gurgling noises in the back of her throat and Lincoln rejoices in having her back in his arms. While Octavia gets into bed after a long day, Lincoln walks around their small house, patting Lily's back and congratulating her on every small burp she makes. He consoles her when she cries after vomiting, cleaning her up quickly and keeps a one-sided conversation with her as he continues to walk around the room in order to lull her to sleep.
This is his daughter. Even after nine months of watching Octavia's body grow with their child, it still hasn't hit him quite yet. Lincoln thought he couldn't love anyone more than he did Octavia, didn't think anything would make him want to fight harder than his morals, he just couldn’t begin to fathom this type of love was even possible but it was. It is. His love for his daughter is all-consuming, on a completely different level than what he felt for his houmon. Octavia wasn't able to cure him of his martyr syndrome but Lily certainly was. Now there's nothing in this world that would take him away from her, not battle, not circumstance, not even death. He would watch his daughter grow, he would make sure of that; Lily would not grow up without a father.
When she's done burping and starts getting fussy, Lincoln climbs into bed, removing his shirt and placing Lily right on top of his chest. Tri-Kru culture believes in as much skin to skin contact from parent to child as possible; from breastfeeding to carrying her around in a wrap, a child should always come in contact with their parents' skin. And though Octavia insists that Lincoln will spoil her by having her sleep on him, he doesn't care. She's his daughter and he still can't believe they're here, a family of three.
It's like something has lit up inside him. Whatever he had felt before, the blood in his hands at such a young age, the uncleanliness after the Mountain, the hopelessness when he had first moved into Arkadia, all of that has been erased. Now he only sees her, dark skin and dark curls; his future has turned into hers and it's far more beautiful than he ever thought it could be. His little one would have everything he never had, she would grow up safe and sound and free. Lily wouldn’t taste the same bitterness life had handed him, he would make sure of it.
"She took my spot, huh?" Octavia teases, her eyes heavy with drowsiness. Lincoln grins at her, his fingers very gently caressing the curls off Lily's face.
"She's less heavy than some people," he teases back as she wiggles closer to him, rubbing her nose against the side of his chest as his arm envelops her and draws her closer. She snorts a laugh, the explosion of air against his skin raising goosebumps. Octavia doesn't respond, finding easy sleep after a long day but Lincoln remains awake, looking at his two girls and unable to hold back the smile that grows on his face.
This is his life now. A husband. A father. After everything that happened, all the wars, all the tears, all the deaths, after sinking to his lowest low and somehow getting back up again, this was his life now. And Lily was his little ray of hope that things could get better. They do get better. A year ago he was still fighting off the Red, still believing himself to be that monster they created, still fighting the demons in his head. Today, he'll fall asleep with his daughter drooling on his chest and his houmon drooling on his side, and he doesn't think there could be a better life than this one.
Lincoln Memorial Week – Day 3 – Favorite hero moment
-- Hear me out. I hated everything about this episode, but look at him, at his face, he's giving himself up for his people, to protect others, and he's angry he's being forced to do that, to leave the girl he loves behind, but he does it, because he is a damn hero
