The Lovers, The Hermit, Death, The Devil, The Tower
A person who makes you very happy: My friends are very good at this job, especially in the last couple days after everything that's been going on. Also my baby brother Xander can make me happy very quickly, just by suggesting something adorable like watching Doctor Who together or just playing a game and cuddling :)
Favorite way to spend a day alone: I like to take baths with lots of fizzy bath bombs and read the entire day. That is honestly the best day, hands down.
Someone you really miss: My grandfather and my recent ex, even though he was being an asshole. My grandfather passed away almost three years ago now, but I still miss him like crazy. He introduced me to my favorite Disney movie, and when I was little would "protect" me from the Beast. He made me milkshakes when I couldn't sleep called midnight margaritas after Practical Magic, and when I had growing pains, he would rub lotion into my sore legs. He was a man of few words, but he was my fiercest supporter. I love him so much. Now, as for my most recent ex. I shouldn't miss him because the way things ended was terrible, but I can't help it. We dated for three years and he was a big part of my life. I thought I would end up with him, you know? So, it's just going to take some time to heal and deal with it.
Who you talk to when you're dealing with big issues: If it's adult issues, I talk to my dad, because he usually tells me what I need to hear and how to get my act together. If it's personal problems, I talk to my best friends, Vanesa, Krystal, Sharon, and Caitlyn or Cheyenne :)
Something that changed your life: My grandpa's passing away made me step back and realize how fleeting a life really is. It also made me question who I was as a person, as in would I have so many family members that would feel my loss as such a big impact. Basically, what I wanted out of life and how I was going to achieve it. I firmly believe I would not have wanted to go for bigger goals if this hadn't happened. The sexual abuse I received when I was younger made me quite a broken, shy person when it came to guys understandably, but it also made me eager to please them once I got a boyfriend, and made me attract mostly assholes. After this most recent ex, however, I started to come into my own, and realize that I don't need a man to make me happy and that I deserve more out of my relationships, and he taught me that during, so I can never be bitter about this one. I would also go as far to say my best friends. They made me self-reflect on who I am, and also that I am a strong, beautiful person. Before them, my friendships that I established besides maybe the one person I talk to from middle school, were fake I came to realize. They were people that pretended to be my friend, because they saw how desperately I needed one and then just turned around to talk about me behind my back. It all started with a biology timeline, and I will never be more thankful for that project. I love them so much, and have no idea what I would do without a single one of them. They are my rock, and I can count on them no matter what has happened, and I know that I can be my idiot self and they will also be idiots instead of judging me.
