🎲 26. A kiss while one or both parties are crying
kiss roulette || (always accepting) || @lionheartd
This was an inevitable scenario to happen, and frankly, he was surprised that it didn't come up sooner in their relationship.
Despite Billy's fun-loving, easy-going nature and personality, the walls built around more sensitive subjects were strong and seemingly impenetrable. The memories within were ones not fully ever dealt with or faced on, instead constantly pushed back and locked away to not be confronted, backed with the reasoning of if it's not thought about, I'm fine.
Overall, it's worked out decently. Though he’s had his days of the past seeping through the cracks of those walls and flood his entire being like it was some sort of thick, noxious gas, but he was always able to force it back before it became overwhelming. It was never able to consume him to the point of fully breaking down and losing himself in the vapors. Not until now.
His whole body was trembling as he clung onto Kelsey, streams of tears infiltrating his face as it pressed into the space where her shoulder and neck meet. Two decades of swallowed grief, anger, and guilt came to the forefront of his soul and spilled out with sputtering words through gritted teeth.
"They ain't done n-nothin' wrong, Kelsey. Nothin'." Such a soft, broken voice, one so foreign to even him. He hated it, but he was currently so far gone that he didn't care anymore. Though if he were to break down like this in front of anyone, he was glad it was Kelsey. She was undeniably the true love of his life, someone he didn't want to live without at this point. And now she was seeing him completely vulnerable and broken when he's been nothing but the opposite with her.
"I-I got there n' I couldn't do nothin'. I couldn't do anythin'. I just ran." His hold on her tightened as the words continued to choke up in his throat, constant images of the scarring moment flashing in his mind. "I still miss 'em so much."
All of his insides felt like they were on fire. Heart racing out of his chest, breathing ragged and heavy, body hot with being purely overwhelmed, he truly hated every second and every part of this unraveling. Different sections of his mind screamed at him, one telling him to get over it and move on, another saying to feel everything in its entirety; the latter took control this time.
But Kelsey's comfort was beginning to ground him, slowly but surely reining him in and pushing this breakdown away to re-center him. The way she held him, ran a hand tenderly and repetitively along his back, occasionally through his hair with a softness, he could feel the tension and stress within himself start to dissipate. Even placing his own hand on her heart, feeling the beat of it through her shirt and onto his skin brought a sense of reality, relief, and ease back to him.
After some time, his face, still soaked with tears, retracted from her neck to look at her. His eyes were soft yet bloodshot, filled with sorrow and exhaustion as they met her own. Words failed to form and exit his mouth; instead he placed a gentle kiss on her lips, brief yet filled with love and appreciation for his partner. A gentle caress of her cheek with the flat of his thumb occurred before his face returned to the previous spot of being nestled into her neck, a safe place he wanted to be forever.