👄 tell us about your parents
this one also took a while, because i am still not sure how much of it i want to air out to all hellsite to see, but.... idk, i think i am happy sharing some of it too, especially if it has the chance to help even one person out there, and i trust all my friends.
my parents were... basically forced into an arranged marriage. my grandfather, my dad’s father, is the result of eons of warped traditions, expectations, stern rules and consequences, which are rooted into what white colonialism did to the culture and customs of india, our home country.
my parents had me in response to those ties and heavy burdens, even if my dad was not interested in any sort of romantic relationship, even if my mother was so young and absolutely terrified of being a parent. don’t get me wrong, they cared about each other immensely, they were each other’s solace and sympathizers in many ways... they were just not meant to be married, yknow?
when i was born, my mother went to a very bad place with how anxious and depressed she was. my dad was pressured by his father to cover it up, to do something about it to further push this facade of control and power, but my dad had had enough. he basically said fuck you to the old man and brought my mother somewhere safe, where she’d be able to pursue her own life from the beginning, free at last, while my dad felt... naturally inclined to raise me, even if all by himself.
... i’d be lying if i said it didn’t take me a while to fully understand these things and come to terms with it. it was hard to see the other kids with “whole” families and wonder why was it, that my own mother didn’t want to live with me and raise me. some kids made it particularly worse to live with my situation, as i’m sure you can imagine.
but my dad has only ever been the absolute best at instilling compassion, of making the absolute best out of every situation, for everyone. i have never felt any remote shortage of love, and the more i heard him speak, and the more he tentatively brought me to meet my mother sometimes, the more i understood that it was nothing to do with me being less loved, and more about... us three being free to nurture all the love we had for each other, in our own way.
and i am so happy she is SO far away from my grandfather’s clutches now. she’s pursuing her third art degree now, currently dating a very nice lady and she likes playing the video games i make. i don’t see her often, but i always look forward to it, even if our relationship is more like a very old friendship.
and i adore my dad with my whole fucking heart, man. i wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him, i wouldn’t be like this, i wouldn’t be myself. he’s always had the courage and the heart to do what is right and good for all no matter how hard, and i always want to follow that example...
