#lisalottie

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(DISJOINTED) YAP INCOMING!!

"I was in a cult that ruined my life, I dont recommend it."

is a quote from season 3, episode 6, that I see a fair bit of talk about. specifically about the irony of lisa saying that despite her being the best she's ever been in the cult that "ruined her life" as opposed to where she is right now, delivering shitty takeout and smoking.

I do wanna say, take this post lightly, I'm not a professional analyst so I might be interpreting some things wrong.

I think what's important to note is while lottie looked after the people at her compound/cult, she was still making them build a reliance on her, under the guise of taking care of them. there are moments in season 2 that seem at first glance like they're disproving this, like lisa saying to nat that she's not forced to do anything, but ultimately, I think nat is right, it's an illusion of freedom. lottie takes away their phones, their money, and their clothes (while this part is more gradual.)

lisa WAS the best she's ever been, mentally, while in the compound. but it did come at a price. It's one of those things where it's fine when you’re in it, but when you're eventually forced out, you practically have nowhere to go. lisa has a strained relationship with her mother, and i think it's pretty obvious that after the events of season 2, that relationship wasn't suddenly healed. lisa's emotional journey may have been her own in some ways, however much you wanna believe that, but it relied on her having a stable environment.

she doesn't resent the cult because her overall experience was bad (sans the season finale) but rather cause it caused her to build a dependence on it. I think she knows, deep down, that it was helping her, she even says it was helping nat! but I don't think she can bring herself to say that because that would mean acknowledging that she is worse off now. that would mean acknowledging that, that thing that she can never get back, that thing that is burned to the ground now, was the best she's ever been.

I mean, after everything that happened, it's much easier to see the cult as a place that damaged her, cause in some ways it really did! but also because, it means that she can't miss it, because really, missing it is no use. it's far easier to close that book and say it ruined her because then, it's just a negative thing to move past. then, it's actually good that she was able to get out; because it was hurting her.

and best of all, especially after lottie's death, she cant allow herself to miss her. so she directs that longing, and that loss she feels, into hatred. lottie, or rather, Charlotte, is not coming back. she's dead.

I'm probably repeating myself a bunch, but the crux of this truly is, no matter how much lottie and her cult or compound or whatever, helped lisa, she can't go back. she physically can't. sure, she could try doing it at home, but without that environment, and without lottie there to tell her just how well she's doing, it's not the same. and especially after seeing her friend, nat die, and most likely also seeing lottie shoved into a van, and oh, she's not some fucking magical healer, is she? she's just like nat said, clinically insane.

so truly, there's no way to even kind of go back to how it was. not now that it's been tainted for her. not after her entire world has fell apart around her, revealing that the beautiful sky, and all the the trees, were just some printed tapestries.

Charlotte, who meant so much to her, was really just sick all along.

I wanna go back to the dependency that lottie built for lisa, and all the other cult members, to have on her. and that thing about the illusion of choice. lisa can leave for as many days as she wants, to wherever she wants, but, she cant sustain it. her mother has practically outcast her, and is very controlling, and she's given her money over to lottie, so she can't just go out and live on her own. which makes just heading back to the cult seem far better. she has food, clothes, a roof over her head, enrichment, and also, lottie. lottie who can give her that gentle shove in the right direction, who can give her purpose. who can make her feel wanted.

but why would any of that matter, when it's gone now? so lisa will instead deny any good that those times brought. so instead she'll say it ruined her life, and it was an awful time for her.

but it did ruin her life, didn't it? because now what does she have to show for it? a shitty, minimum wage job, and a bike that she relies on for everything. (and that 50k, which she probably won't use, because that's also like accepting help from lottie too, right?) it did ruin her life, because now she misses no, regrets, something she will never get back.

she most importantly, can't miss lottie, because lottie is dead. if she just hates her instead, then she can turn that sadness into happiness. she won't have to mourn lottie. she can even be relieved that she's gone.

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not being able to see this lisa and this lottie on screen together was actually criminal... look at what they took from us...

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from time to time, I think about this interview/podcast clip.

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decided I'll start taking yellowjackets fic and headcanon requests, here are my conditions!

characters I love:

lisa nolastname

lottie matthews

shauna sadecki

misty quigley

callie sadecki

van palmer

melissa hat

things I'm interested in: unhealthy power dynamics, sugar mommy lottie, dubcon, noncon, transfem lisa, grooming, kidnapping, light gore, omegaverse, full fantasy AUs, like, dnd esque with fantasy races and classes, weird woo woo cult shit, tending to wounds, smut, lisalottie.

things I wont write: lisa/nat, lisa shipped with men, scat, feederism, starvation, necrophilia, permanent death (canon doesn't count, though I'd prefer to write lottie alive,) teen timeline, babyfic/kidfic, maggots, eye gore

things to keep in mind: I will only write for ships that include lisa. I may struggle with writing fluffy fic and headcanons. there may be some boundaries and likes I forgot to add, and if you have an idea, and are not sure if I'd be willing to write it, please send me an ask, and I'll let you know. if you're going to request a fic, please tell me your wants and dnws for it, details are good. I write dead dove, if you are not okay with that, block me and move on.

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pspspsps. hear me out. lisalottie au where lottie works on a monster hunting force, and lisa is the vampire she's tasked to track down. but lisa is a pesky little vampire, always getting away, so it takes a few attempts before lottie actually has lisa in her grasp.

by then, she's built a sort of connection to her (and an attraction). so when lottie finally has her pinned to the wall with a stake in her hand... she can't bring herself to do it. (maybe she also has some kind of connection to vampires like how she has to the wilderness... or perhaps just vampire heritage.

either way, maybe that physically and mentally compels her not to stake her. maybe she's hunted other monsters but this is her first vampire and she's never known she couldn’t do it) either way lottie lets her go "with a warning", something she's never done before. and tells her she has 3 strikes, hoping lisa will end up out of her hair by the third strike.

but then the third strike rolls around, and lottie has her pinned up against the wall again, but this time she's throwing caution to the wind, and lips pressed against the vampire's she's supposed to have killed by now.

or something like that idk.

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have I posted this one yet chat.

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missing lottie matthews who fucks the ever living hell out of Lisa to convince her to join her cult like a MF ‼️

anon I never actually considered it this way but... this is lowkey fire. my hc was more like, lottie fucks lisa after she joins but... I fuck with this

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ok but consider... lisacallielottie. lottie letting callie wear her strap, tightening the straps on her hips and then sitting off to the side while she tells callie exactly how to prep lisa to fuck her. and then once she's done with that, instructing callie on how to fuck lisa with the strap. she's pretty bad at first, rutting into her hole like a inexperienced teen boy. but after a bit of instructing from lottie, she gets the hang of it, and she's good at it. lottie comes up behind her, saying "go harder, she can take it, trust me."