#litanyofdreams

[tymp3st]

Litany of Dreams

I missed last week, largely due to the computer issues I mentioned yesterday, still working on that. This one is the Arkham Horror novel I mentioned in last week’s House Keeping post. This is thanks to the folks at Aconyte Books, here is Ari Marmell’s Litany of Dreams. Enjoy! Miskatonic University student Elliot Raslo is troubled, both by the mysterious disappearance of his roommate, Chester,…

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[demondarlington]

friends + things i associate with them

@litanyofdreams // the foxhole court

[shirewalker]

                                                                                                   names + meaning                                                                                                                         ~ nayab

[prongslilyarchive]

happy birthday to my sunflower girl @litanyofdreams​

happy birthday, my love. i hope you have had a wonderful and relaxing day, one which has shined as brightly as you do. i am so, so proud of you for making it this far. it is both a privilege and an inspiration to be part of your life and watch you grow, and i am so excited to see where this year will bring you. i hope you are provided with ample opportunities for self-growth, of getting closer to the person i know you’re working so hard to become. i hope this year brings you plenty of inner peace, adventure, happiness, love, and relaxing days where you can focus on yourself and where your creativity flows without bounds. there is no doubt in my mind that the past - almost five, now, i believe - years with you has made my life infinitely better, and i am so grateful to be able to call you my friend. i look forward to many more years by your side.

i love you endlessly. 

[lumierc]

sam & frances: 9, 22.

9. things you said when i was crying

there’s a universe where she’d know what to say, but here isn’t it. the exact sentences that have the healing power of a spell so strikingly magical and infallible. somewhere in a dream, an untouchable reality, she would know the ways to pick up shattered pieces of a heart the way physicians maneuver through the anatomy of someone bleeding to death, whose face is growing paler with every memory that fades. instead of all of art history that she remembers by heart, she would be able to recite all the tricks and techniques and medications needed to nurse someone back to health, back to the place where they can breathe and dance and sing again, where no pain exists and only the warmth of the sun remains.

but this is the reality they are in, the one that they are left with, a world where she is no witch or doctor and no surgeons know what to do with a broken heart. a reality where no hearts can be fixed and no potion can reignite the smile of someone who’s forgotten every reason to live. this is the reality where she sits silently on the floor with him with her back against the cold cement wall numbing every fibre of her being, her arms wrapped around him and not a word comes to her mind. this is the reality where all whispers of reassurance feel futile ( it gets better. but does it? it’ll be okay. but how would she know? ), where all her attempts to break the walls of misunderstanding between them fail and she doesn’t even know if any of this matters.

( it’s a terrible weight, not knowing what to say when you’re witnessing the unraveling of the one you love the most. )

“i’m sorry.” she mumbles but he already knows, and she wonders if sorrys mean anything in any universe. if they actually alleviate a fraction of pain elsewhere, or if they all stay as the empty words incapable of filling the void no matter where they’re spoken. fatigue sinks into her bones from all the words she does not know how to voice and all the thoughts that she cannot assemble, and she knows she is not supposed to feel this way. to be consumed by her own tiredness and restlessness, but she does, and the guilt from it is devouring her little by little.

she swipes away the tears on his cheek and he leans onto the warmth of her palm the way a man seeks the fireplace after a january night spent shivering, but he’s still crying, his heart is still aching and she still doesn’t have a clue what to do to make anything better. 

“you deserve so much better than this.”

22. things you said after it was over

“sam?” she whispers and she knows she’s going to miss it, the way his name falls off her lips just like that, like going home after an exhausting journey, like her favourite coffee shop on a rainy day, like something that’s meant to kept on her mouth but not for long. she whispers and his room is still quiet except for the echoes of all the terrible things they spit on each other. nothing but the looming rustles of sparse cars passing by and quiet buzzing of summer. but she knows he’s awake — they have been for the past hour although none of them dares to break the silence. it’s their third fight of the week, one of the countless in the past three months where their tongues act more like merciless glass sliding down each other’s throat and their hands are soaked in desperation so paralyzing they don’t know what to do.

( and both of their hearts, so unbearably heavy with all its baggage they don’t know how to be kept in ribcages any longer ). 

she wishes she could go back in time and track the precise moment where it all went wrong, the exact second they began leaking such a terrible ugliness that tainted every inch of their skin. travel back when they knew how to love instead of harm, when their words were as tender as they were inside, back when he would talk to her instead of clinging to those imperishable walls, back when they could read each other the way she remembered every line on his palm. back when they’re as in love as they believed themselves to be. she wishes she noticed the second the storm captured him, and knew of all the right things to pull him from it but it’s not something that could be stopped. like how it’s not his fault and neither is it hers, it’s just there, a ocean between him and her that keeps expanding and she can feel her lungs giving out — giving in.

she wishes for a change of heart, but that moment never came.

it’s not enough to just be in his arms again and living off his warmth, or to bask in the comfort from his steady breaths or the familiar texture of his curls between her fingers that had found a home there. it’s not enough but oh, how she wishes it is.

“i can’t do this anymore.”

the words have become too familiar on her lips that it petrifies her, she has worn them out in tearful bursts ( she forgot the last time she has cried this much over someone and she keeps telling herself that none of it matters because none of it is intentional, but does that matter at all if they’re still bleeding nonetheless? she just wants it to stop hurting for the both of them — that’s all she want ). a quiet determination settles in her bones, and she knows no amount of apologetic kisses or mumbled apologies can make her stay. 

it isn’t to say that it’s easy or swift or painless, only that it feels like what she’s meant to do.

only it feels right in the wrongest sense.

“i love you — i just don’t love who i am when i’m with you anymore. i’ve forgotten myself in it.”

[arrogantbullyingtoerag]

when i think about you, i think about coal turning into diamond. i think about those little flowers that bloom through concrete. and immediately, i feel so incredibly blessed to be able to call you one of my very best friends. i love you - on your best day, and on your worst. please know that you amaze me in all states, and that my love for you does not have to be earned, nor will it ever be subject to change. you're strong. stronger than you believe sometimes. i promise.

nay this is beautiful you are beautiful i am overwhelmed and so lucky to know and love you thank you thank you thank you you are such a light in the world and in my life i really needed this thank you so much i really love you

[salcmes]

oolong tea; strawberry tea; apple tea; herbal tea; green tea; jasmine; gunpowder tea. ( i would drink all of the tea. ALL. OF. IT. )

Oolong tea;

His dark materials. I read thefirst two books as a kid and never got around to buying the last one, which is insane, because I distinctively rememberthinking that it was one of the most magical, well-crafted things I had everread.

Strawberry tea; 

Sadly, none, but hopefully operation “find arandom fuckboy I’m never gonna see again at an engineering party” this Saturdaywill fix that. Probably with something sticky and vodka-soaked.

Apple tea; 

No romantic one, given my absolutelack of experience on that side. But I did go through my first major “breakup”with someone I was extremely close to a little while ago. I was spending a fewdays at her place and things went sour, which I suppose can be attributed tothe fact that I can be a brunette version of Bunny Corcoran and that she can bea little bit cruel. We’re on good terms and I don’t resent her. I’m almostabsolutely sure that we both want nothing but good things for each other atthis point. But I can’t help feeling pretty shitty when I think that I mighthave meant nothing for her or crushed when I find myself with some false hopethat we might become close again. Which I’m not even sure I want to, tbh. Butit just kind of hurts like a motherfucker.

Herbal tea;

This is going to sound soooshitty, but I think I’d prefer to take that trip alone. I’m so shy that I wouldotherwise end up hiding under the other person’s skirts and not fullyexperience what I was seeing. And although I love my people, I do occasionallyneed my own time.

Green tea; 

The first one I remember was theScooby Doo movie. My aunt didn’t realize that it was in english and had to occasionallywhisper the plot to me because I couldn’t understand anything.

Jasmin tea;

So here’s the thing: I can’t drawfor shit BUT I did learn a really quick, cool way to draw stars when I was akid. Anyway, I’m always drawing them now. ALWAYS. Everything I own is covered instars.

Gunpowder tea;

Nah. I mean, if it was just amatter of snapping my fingers and being in outer space for a while, I surewould. But the years of training, crushing loneliness, discomfort and physicaltoll of being an astronaut don’t tempt me a single bit, because anything withouthumans would get boring after a while. Besides, there’s enough weird shit Ihaven’t seen down here to keep me fascinated for a lifetime.

[shirewalker]

🎴 nayab. ( hey girl; congrats on hitting that number. your blog is some faerie-dust-ridden shit. i dig. )

thank you sweetie!! I hope I get there soon >w<

😊 character tropes: teen superspy / the storyteller / knight in sour armour / adventurer archaeologist / lady of war / the paragon / the chessmaster / noble demon / classy cat-burglar / deadpan snarker / the herald / damsel out of distress / accidental hero / the ferryman / the high queen / magical barefooter/ rebellious princess / lady of adventure / the trickster

👑 fairytale locations: hidden tower / big fancy castle / the lost woods / magical library / forbidden attic / the ballroom / a lake at midnight / mysterious cottage / private garden / crystal cave

📚 book: magical standalone / duology of feels / the perfect trilogy / neverending series / short and sweet novella / the first manuscript of legend

🎨 colour: café noir / malachite / gamboge / cerise / chocolate kisses / byzantium / lust / gainsboro / rose quartz / periwinkle / ashes of rose / sarcoline/ coquelicot / mikado / smaragdine / eburnean / amaranth / zaffre / sang-de-boeuf / gingerline

🍂 autumn aesthetic: colourful scarves / hot chocolate / cappuccino / soft blanket / rainy days / fall leaves / pumpkins / knit sweaters / thunder in the distance / snuggles / fuzzy socks / comfort book / purring cat / cinnamon

🌌 space: comet / starry night / mini black hole / milky way / pluto / full moon / meteor shower / supernova / nebula / constellation / black hole / sun / asteroid / spaceship / antimatter / dark matter / quasar / zodiacal light / cosmic dust

🎼 sounds: rain falling outside / ocean waves / thunderstorm / owls in the night/ crackling of wood in the fireplace / train in the distance / wind through the trees / rustling pages of an open book / blissful laughter / birds at sunrise / music from another room / wind chimes / howl of a wolf / purring kitten / footsteps in a cathedral

name edit: HERE

want one?