Live Tree or Die (a Memoir) (a Reflection)
It ain't perfect, but it's still mine.
So I have finished my movie! (Not actually, I still need to go through sound and colour but I am finished with the "production" part of it... so I have a lot of renders.)
But for the purposes of this blog post I AM DONE!
So I thought I would go through and do a reflection of what I learned in this process. The pitfalls and triumphs that went into the production of my F3. A post-Mortem... well I guess it's just a mortem. Anyways...
THE SUCCESSES
"If you wanted the easy road you should have gone to Harvard Law." - Ron Honn
I'll start with the good stuff. I definitely learned a ton about my own personal work habits over this process. It was extremely satisfying for me to have stayed on schedule over the course of the project. Even with major setbacks and story revisions I managed to stay on schedule and still produce work to the quality I wanted, it ain't perfect but it is still mine.
I have found that I am a quick worker, and I think that is my greatest skill. I can move and power though an assignment quickly and produce a lot of revisions in a short amount of time. While this definitely leads to some overlooked details, I think this is a good way to work and I am happy that it is a trait I possess. (That's a Job interview answer) I like to think of it as a sort of Minimum Viable Product. I get as much done as fast I can so I can get notes more quickly, thus less time is spent moving in an unnecessary direction. It applies less to my own creative work, but it is still something I try to do.
Another big success I've had is in the collaboration I have had with my fellow artists. From the beginning I have enjoyed going over revision and revision with my wonderful art director Susan over the design of everything in my world, from the characters to the environment. Her awesome skill has been instrumental in giving my film the aesthetic which I love so so much. But I also had a wonderful experience working with my co-animator, Victor. He just latched on to the style I wanted right away and blew me away with the quality and quantity of work he put out. Originally he was only slated for two shots but wound up hitting five (~60% of my whole movie!) and had a strong influence on how I tackled my own shots. And finally I worked with a phenomenal Lighting and Comp team of Justin, Austin, and Collin. They contributed so much to my movie and took the challenges I assigned to them in great stride, producing wonderful work and further pushing the aesthetic of my film.
And finally, I think the biggest success I had was that I really had fun through the whole process. Sure it wasn't all peaches and cream, but I really am happy and I made a fun happy movie and I had a good time creating this piece with my classmates. It was fun and I think that is the most important aspect, because if we aren't having fun then why would we be here in the first place?
THE FAILURES
"If every porkchop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs." - Steven Universe
So onto the less fun parts. Of course it didn't go perfect. There were many a dailies I left wanting to just curl up in a ball and cry. But it ain't easy, and that is the fun part. So on with the death march of sadness...
I have an issue with basic story structure. I would love to blame watching too many Linklater films, but I know my downfalls definitely don't stem from an excess in creative skill. My initial F3 failed from basic story issues and I again ran into this issue while in the MIDDLE of production on this project. When I had to go for that big story revision I fell right back onto the same basic dramatic questions. Who is my character? What does he want? Where is the conflict? etc... I emerged from the pits of reworking the story with a stronger film, I think, but it is something that I am determined to not let happen again.
I had a big issue whenever I received notes. I was confident enough in my vision to know when notes were really off the scale or right on the money, but my problems came with the notes that might work. Because at that point it was an issue of decision making. Spending the time. Risk vs. Reward. These were the ideas that I was afraid of not implementing. I have a hard time saying no and I feel like I am offending someone when I don't take their notes. Saying no is a hard thing.
This goes into my biggest issue of confidence. I have never ever ever considered myself an artist. I have always loved making short movies and learning VFX, but I had never (and this might sound dumb) realized that these were real art forms. Like, real art. And maybe that was because I was an Astrophysics Major until I applied to the film school, but I have never been an artist in my life. So now I am surrounded by these wonderful and creative and passionate and talented individuals who just love the art. True artists, and that makes me incredibly intimidated and self conscious. So it is always a struggle for me to try and stay confident in my own vision when I have other people who I assume are far more creative than myself giving constant input. A blessing and a curse because again, I love being surrounded by all these wonderful talented people but I just absolutely loathe them for how incredibly talented they are. So something I really need to get better at is confidence, and I think it will greatly help my own growth both as an artist and as a person.
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So obviously there is far more that I learned in this massive undertaking of crafting an animated short. But I feel that these things are really the key lessons I have taken away and they are what my mind turns towards when I think of my successes and failures.
So moving into my Thesis I am more confident in my abilities and I will for sure be able to foresee problems and course correct before any Icebergs are hit... hopefully.