A letter to Zevran- From Toulius
I’m sorry I haven’t been myself lately. There’s nothing more that I would like then to see your smile again. It feels like centuries since I’ve seen you bare a smile and it wounds me deeply. There was a point in our lives that I thought we’d always be smiling together. Always care free and the world playing right at our fingertips. I’ve lived most of my life as a happy person and yet even now it feels foreign to pull my lips into a smile. Maybe that isn’t who I am anymore. But I want to thank you for always loving who I was. I was never as truly happy then when I was with you. I still remember the nights I’d carelessly ramble to you until you fell asleep. And I still remember the nights I pushed you away from me. I’m sorry I wasn't there for you. I was so wrapped up into myself that I was blinded. I wanted to protect all of us. But I mostly wanted to protect you. I needed to protect you and I failed. What I thought was giving me strength was actually my greatest weakness. I know I don’t deserve forgiveness and I know I don’t deserve a second chance. But I just want you to know that I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.