#lizjohnston

[lizziewritezandsobs]

I am whole Whether or not I am in touch With all of my parts

[lizziewritezandsobs]

Stargazer Lilly

You were growing when I found you. Lovely. Sprouting from the dirt of your surroundings. Fragrant. Smell of earth. Blue. Like space. Blue. Like night sky. Blue. Like magic. You were watching to observe the science of where you came from, what you were, who you could be. With every muscle, every nerve, I picked you.

[lizziewritezandsobs]

7:13 a.m.

I keep gripping at a being who isn’t there, how silly to grasp so hard at thin air.

[lizziewritezandsobs]

Two Woes

I’d rather die a thousand times before I reveal this pain inside. The guilt, the shame, this inner stirring in my veins. What woes, I dare not speak their names.

[lizziewritezandsobs]

After taste

And days are but an hour, which are but minutes, which are but seconds, which are but mere connected moments where you still linger inside of me…

[lizziewritezandsobs]

In doubt

I don't, I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can be this patient, this understanding, this kind of kind. I don't think that I can love you through other channels other wavelengths over time zones, over states and regions and still be satisfied still feel whole still feel like I can do this like I can be patient understanding kind.

[lizziewritezandsobs]

Reflection part I (draft)

I miss the days where you'd sit across from me, nothing touching but our souls and knees, while we drank coffee and exhaled despair. I miss the days when I was overwhelmed with the sweetness and sincerity of emotion and connection, the forming of a bond, like watching a beautiful scene that only God could create. I miss purity and tenderness.

[lizziewritezandsobs]

(Breath)

You grabbed me like I was what you wanted. Like I had been floating by so small, so far away, and I'd finally gotten within your reach. You grabbed me for all the life in my body. Squeezed me like something whose lungs were made to breathe your air. You grabbed me like this would be your last chance, as if I could slip away, forever, from your grasp, if you did not grab me now. And with such force, such passion, I was breathless and in shock. I felt the life slip out of me for a moment only to be wonderfully revived. I lived and died, all at once, in a single moment.