Llamageddon (NR, 2015)
Amazon - Tubi
Run Time: 1h 9m
Watches: 6
IMDB Rating: 3.8/10
My Rating: 🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈
Word Count: 725
A cinematic masterpiece. Perhaps one of the only movies I’ll ever review to get all five sharks. Unironically one of my favorite films of all time. Comedic genius.
What’s good about Llamageddon isn’t that it’s good; no, this movie is awful, but it has charm. It’s funny. It’s endearing. It ever gets old. There isn’t a boring scene in this godforsaken film. Llamageddon knows what it is. It’s a self-aware, on-purpose, B-movie-with-no-budget. That’s why I love it! The 6 watches is an estimate, because I’ve probably watched this movie countless times. Enough about my praises, let's get into the meat and potatoes of the 2015 Sci-Fi horror comedy “Llamageddon”.
Llamageddon follows the story of 20-something siblings Floyd and Mel, along with Mel’s friends, who she invited to their deceased grandparents’ home. How did their grandparents die you may ask yourself? A killer llama from outer space, of course! That’s right; the villain of this movie is a space-llama with laser eyes.
The film starts with a lovely animated sequence of the killer llama planet, in which we see our Killer Llama (played by animal actor Louie the Llama) crash landing on planet Earth. Killer Llama, who I’ll be calling “KL” for short, wanders onto the property of MeeMaw and Pep Pep, our protagonists' grandparents. MeeMaw and Pep Pep assume the llama belongs to one of their neighbors…which turns out to be a grave mistake. MeeMaw and Pep Pep are brutally murdered. Shenanigans ensue.
Mel is a popular party girl and Floyd is a nerd. They really make sure you know this man is a loser in this film. It is referenced constantly. Floyd is cringe-fail. Floyd is a little meow meow. He is sopping wet and pathetic. I want to throw him around like a football. I want to put him in the washing machine and watch him spin. He’s like a milk-soaked Webkinz cat to me.
Our two protagonists are joined by Mel’s friends, and all of them are incredible. The characters in this movie are just so strange and lovely. They’re flat yet 3-dimensional at the same time. My personal favorite is Dan, who changes his shirt 23 times throughout the whole movie. Let it be very clear that I don’t mean he changes his shirt on camera, but rather every time he’s on screen he’s wearing a new one. The first time it happens you think “Hey, look at this little inconsistency thing that happened” but once you get up to about 5 you start anticipating and looking forward to it.
Now the cast doesn’t particularly matter because save for Mel and Floyd, everyone dies. I like to try to make sure my reviews are at least somewhat spoiler free, so if you decide to watch it for yourself there’s at least some surprise, but this is just something that needs to be said. They all die. There are so many very, very absurd and over the top deaths that it’s laughable. Remember the game Dumb Ways To Die? It’s like that. Sometimes it's in a car explosion, sometimes it’s getting electrocuted in the jacuzzi, sometimes it’s getting shot after turning into a semi-sentient llama-man and laying tons of fuzzy alien llama eggs (yes, that really happens). You never know. KL spares no one.
Llamageddon’s soundtrack is something worth mentioning as well. There is an original song created specifically for the movie played at the end of the film and it’s…kind of a bop? It goes kind of hard? I don’t want to sing too many praises to Llamageddon but this movie really does have it all. There’s no trope that goes untouched. It’s truly a masterpiece of cinema.
Honestly writing this was a tad hard because there’s just so much that happens and so much to talk about. I don’t like posting super long reviews because I feel like no one reads them, but holy shit. I could write about this movie for hours and hours and hours. There’s just too much to touch on. I really can’t recommend you watch it enough. Get some friends to do it with though. I assure you this movie is a million times funnier if you’re subjecting someone to it. Have fun making your loved ones turn to you in confusion and concern and ask, “What the fuck are you making me watch?”
