#lloyd kneath

[tellcherhesgone]

If you haven't heard, The Office Australia got cancelled.

I binged it a week or two ago (it's ok) and thought Lloyd was absolutely adorable wow. With this news though I feel like now more than ever it's important to write some fics for him ✍️✍️

[deaconsleatherpants]

a return to form for this blog 😤

[somelikeitbrugh]

Lloyd being adorable. 🥺

[tellcherhesgone]

I got bored and thought up some Lloyd smut.

Flinley Craddick, Sydney Division. Friday, 7:58PM.

“This is risky,” Lloyd muttered, whipping his head around as if expecting someone to jump out with a camera. “Don’t you think this is risky?”

“Nope,” you said, turning his face towards you with one hand while the other slowly trailed down his chest. You teased your fingertips through the scruff of his greying stubble, enjoying the wide eyed look of incredulity the older man was now giving you. “C’mon, I just wanna take care of my work husband. Is that alright with you?”

Your curious hand settled at the waistband of his khaki slacks. Lloyd blinked a few times, trying to manage a response that wasn’t just a jumbled mess of sounds. His head was spinning and his pants were quickly growing tighter. God, you might actually be the death of him someday. But then again, they say that women outlive men anyways, and as he fixed his green eyes back onto you, he figured he should take a page from your book and just enjoy himself.

“…Okay,” the IT guy agreed, giving you a sheepish smile. You smiled back, skillfully undoing the button to his pants with just the one hand.

“Alright, let’s see what we’re working with here,” you muttered, dipping your hand underneath the waistband. Lloyd’s breath hitched as your warm palm made contact with his cock over his briefs. You ran your hand against the length to gauge the overall size. An eyebrow quirked slightly as you squeezed around his girth, which the man underneath you read into as a negative reaction.

“I'm not a virgin, by the way,” Lloyd started to babble. “Maybe I'm a little nerdy, but I know how to use what I've got, so uh—"

“Hey, you’ve got a beer can. Nice,” you commented, pulling your hand back out to lick a generous stripe up the palm. A strained whine left the older man as he helplessly watched you slick up your palm before slipping it back into his pants and under his briefs to finally touch his aching hard cock. You wasted no time getting to work jacking Lloyd off as he grabbed your hips for stability.

"Jesus!" He swore, his face twisting in pleasure. "I, ah, didn't think you'd be so good at this."

"Oh, you doubted me, huh?" You teased, rubbing tight circles right under the head of his dick with your thumb. The IT guy bucked into your touch with a loud groan. One of his own hands ventured up (cautiously) under your shirt as he buried his face into your neck. There was a sense of pride building quickly within you over the control you easily had over Lloyd. The way he was breathlessly sobbing into your neck, as well as the way his sweaty fingers explored your own body, almost felt like it was enough to make you cum.

Almost.

"Don't think, don't think I'm gonna last long, sweetheart," Lloyd muttered against your skin. You softly cooed, mercilessly jacking his cock off harder. Your thumb and index finger formed a tight ring to tug on the head as you cupped his face to force him to look up at you. The older man's face was exactly what you wanted: flushed and dewy, with his lips slack and his green eyes hazy.

"That's alright," you said, leaning in to nip his bottom lip. "Because I want you to cum for me, anyways."

Whining a bit pathetically, Lloyd closed his eyes and pressed his face back into your neck. His hands were digging harder and harder into your sides. You shivered slightly when you felt his tongue dip out to lathe loose shapes against you. The volume of his groans and cries picked up as you shifted around in his lap to stave off your own arousal.

"Oh God, sweetheart, 'm gonna, gonna--"

That was all the warning you got before Lloyd's hips were thrusting against your hand and his mouth was pressing a quiet 'O' against your jawline. You were a little thrown off that his voice would cut out like that while he was making a mess in his slacks, but as he shuddered out the last of his orgasm, it returned in the form of harsh sobs into your warm skin. Those then turned into hushed praises that you couldn't fully make out (and that was probably the older man's intentions). You wiped your hand off as best as you could on his briefs before withdrawing your hand completely from his pants.

"So," you started, too proud to let him have a moment to settle down. "Guess it's safe to say my work husband's been taken cared of, right, Lloyd?"

The desperate kisses pressed against your lips along with the shoving of thick hands higher up your shirt was more than enough of an answer for you.

[tellcherhesgone]

Some Lloyd headcanons, because it's free real estate

The spider hanging off his rearview mirror was bought from a clearance bin at the Australian Museum's gift shop, while the Coca Cola underneath was won in an office party raffle

Can see everyone's browsing history and is supposed to report anything inappropriate he finds, but is so anti-confrontational (read: uncomfortable) that several office workers aren't even aware that they're technically breaking internet usage policies

He's got a book about black holes on his desk so I'd imagine April 10th is a big day for him

Probably even sets the photo of the black hole as his wallpaper for all of April 💀 and if anyone happens to walk past and ask what exactly they're looking at, they'll be sucked into a lecture about Event Horizon Telescope and how "ahcksully" April 11th is when the photo was taken

I also noticed an unused bottle of L'Occitane Shower Oil on his desk for some reason. Either won it in a raffle too or it was (unceremoniously) regifted to him by Debra

Canned tuna was deliberated on for a while before becoming his snack of choice. Not only is it an excellent source of nutrition, but it's also really convenient to carry around (shelf safe and the can is also the bowl), and it's often on sale in bulk at grocery stores

Genuinely considers "eating" to be a hobby

Not too big on coffee, was moreso bummed that something free was unavailable for the day in Ep 6

Doesn't know how to portion out enough water for one mug of tea, so rather than let pour the excess hot water out he makes two mugs in case someone happens to want tea at the same time he does

Not necessarily an attention seeker but definitely wants to be perceived

Autistic

If his crush mentioned in passing that they like a guy who could make them laugh (generally speaking, not specifically about him), best believe he'll be bothering them all day with knock knock jokes

Is secretly hoping to one day be referred to as someone's "golden retriever boyfriend"

Hounded Hannah for weeks about putting his picture up in the office after paying the coffee tab (She eventually hung it up in the bathroom)

Favorite video game is Chip's Challenge for Windows 95

Doesn't really like to drink alcohol. At the few house parties he went to when he was younger he'd often just help himself to the juice meant for mixers

Doesn't actively believe in ghosts or spirits but likes to think that if he did encounter one, he'd be really chill about it and maybe even gain a new friend

Felt very proud of the slideshow he made for Brian's wake but then immediately beat himself up on the drive home that he didn't remember working with Brian at all

Spicy HCs past this point

Not a virgin but excuses his lack of sexual activity due to being on call at all hours for work (lie)

Hesitant to have sex in his car because he doesn't think the cost to have it cleaned after is worth it

He's got a "beer can" (Short to average length with a lot of girth)

Finds himself drawn to women with "strong" personalities though he probably wouldn't know it/wouldn't intentionally list it as his type

Doesn't know that he's a sub

I could see him having a thing for feet. Not like wanting to have them in his mouth or jacking off onto them, moreso that he'd appreciate how a well manicured pair would look in sandals, or would offer a foot rub the second he saw his partner stressed out

Like any other Jonny character (that I'm familiar with) he's a munch

Canonically likes drinking pineapple juice so he tastes...👀

Prefers it if the woman is on top, but again, "no particular reason why"

Doesn't really watch porn and isn't into heavy kinks

IS into being praised in bed and out

One of his grounding techniques when he's too nervous to "perform" is to go over mating facts about animals in his head.

Would be elated if he was asked to recite animal facts out loud during sex

Doesn't have a preference in boobs or butt because seeing either would have him short circuiting

Lots of whines, groans, and sobs. When he cums it's shuddery. Lots of grabbing onto the woman for stability as he rides it out

[tellcherhesgone]

hmm maybe either 💝 with Lloyd or 🩶 with Shelton, if either of those sound interesting? 👀

Send me an emoji and I'll write a fic for a kiss

💝 [ Surprise ] - A sudden kiss to catch the partner off guard

.

Somehow, nobody at Flinley Craddick Sydney had figured out that the IT guy and new office intern had a ‘thing’ going on. What exactly that ‘thing’ was was still a bit of a yet defined mystery for the two coworkers in question, but it was nice all the same. To hear Lloyd tell the story, it all started when he overheard you speaking Spanish over the phone to a client around the same time that he’d been waiting on DNA results that would tell him if he was of Hispanic origin. It was as if a new light had been cast on you, and he found himself crossing his fingers even tighter that his results would reveal that he was on the same ‘exotic’ wavelength as you. Spoiler: He wasn’t, and you told him that you only picked up the language conversationally through high school (and several rewatches of Y Tu Mamá También, but Lloyd didn’t need to know that). All the confidence he had built up over the course of a day to pursue you fizzled out, but you found his awkwardly misguided intentions cute, and so you told him he could you take you out for coffee whenever he wanted (and in a way, he kind of already had, given that he was covering the office’s drink tab that day).

Now a few short months later, you found yourself outside with the rest of the office as Hannah insisted that everyone go on a scavenger hunt for the company’s Christmas party. The prize for finding her missing car keys was “whatever” was in her car’s glove compartment, a promise that roused a few interested hums (and several annoyed groans). Sipping your room temperature cup of eggnog, you squatted down by Lloyd as he checked underneath Martin’s car.

“Do you really think they’d be down there?” You asked.

“I don’t know, but it never hurts to check,” Lloyd said, shooting you a smile as he blindly pawed around for the set of keys. “Leave no stone unturned, and all that.”

You just shrugged in response. A set of giggles caught your ear, and you quickly stood up to investigate. Unsurprisingly, it was Greta and Nick a few cars away doing more chatting than scavenging. With how close they were standing, you wondered if you could even fit a carton of eggnog between them. Snorting, you took another sip of your drink.

Swearing lightly, Lloyd stood back up and rested a warm palm against the small of your back. He was about to speak when he followed your line of sight over to the other ‘thing’ couple of the office. The stocky man yelped and crouched back down behind the car to hide.

“I didn’t realize we weren’t alone,” he whispered, looking up at you with panic in his green eyes. “What are they doing over there?”

“Same thing we’re doing,” you answered, raising your hand to give a small wave with your fingers as Greta finally noticed you. You could see the gears clicking in her head as she gave her own understanding snort and turned back to Nick. You squatted back down beside a panicking Lloyd.

“They saw us, didn’t they?” He asked, nervously playing with the hem of his pine green cardigan. “Do you think they’ll spread gossip? God, I hope not. It’s stressful enough that I’m probably not going to win the scavenger hunt, I don’t think I could handle what the whole office would say if they knew that I, that we're, uh—"

Rolling your eyes, you held your eggnog out of the way as you planted a soft kiss on Lloyd’s warm cheek. He snapped out of his rambling to look at you in surprise as a blush spread across the bridge of his nose. A thick hand flew up to press against where your lips had just been as he tried to stammer out a response.

“You just, you just, oh wow, I—"

“Come on,” you chuckled, standing back up with your hand pressed to Lloyd’s shoulder. “Let’s go find Hannah’s stupid keys.”

He blinked owlishly for a moment before swallowing and nodding.

“Yeah, let’s—”

Lloyd caught something shining under the trunk of the nearest car as he started to get up. A slow, incredulous smile broke out on his lips.

“Actually, do you mind if we rest a little longer here? I’ve still got a little stress steam to blow off if you don’t mind helping me.”

[deaconsleatherpants]

the fuzzy steering wheel and seatbelt covers... 🥺

[deaconsleatherpants]

Lloyd is already so cute and I need more instantly 🥺😭