(GL)ASS WORLD
Rating: T (language mostly lmao and an innuendo)
Warnings: USUK, no other warnings
Summary: Arthur owns a store called Glass World because he designs and sells stained glass. His sign breaks and says ‘ass world’.
A/N: Lmao requested after I made the au prompt. @chunruu 👀 Bribed me as well.
The life of Arthur Kirkland could be described as anything but exciting. Not to say that his life was boring, oh no. He had a nice job of course, designing and making stained glass fixtures for businesses and churches. ‘Glass World’, a bland name, but it got the point across fairly well. His love life was somewhat lacking, but that's what cats were for right? He had two of the little buggers running around his house. His life was average. Not exciting, but certainly not boring.
Nothing stays the same for so long though, and so on a fateful stormy afternoon as the power is knocked out, Arthur doesn't hear the two loud pops from his sign out front. Thunder had drowned out the sound, making him blissfully unaware of his predicament. His beloved shop sign now read ‘Ass World’ in large red letters.
At first it seemed that no one had noticed. Life went on as usual, but Arthur found the amount of people loitering in front of his store to take selfies was increasing at an alarming rate. He had never understood the appeal of scrunching his face up just to take a picture of himself. If he needed his own picture taken, someone else could take it for him properly. At least the people out front were harmless, and perhaps if he was lucky, one of them may be an actual customer.
Days went on like this, random passerby taking a photo with his storefront, and occasionally some would stop in. At least this selfie business was netting him a few small jobs, though the way some of these people giggles incessantly wore down his nerves. Their faces would sometimes turn red from them attempting to stifle their laughter. Honestly, what could be so funny?
Yet another week passed before a familiar face stepped into Arthur's shop. Tanned skin, golden hair, and a blinding white smile caught his attention. Striking blue eyes settled onto his own green ones, causing him to take a step away from the counter. “Good heavens, Alfred, when did you get back in town?”
That smile brightened, if that were even possible, and the blonde made his way over to Arthur. “Nice to see you too, Artie. I actually just got here, saw the store sign, and I just had to pop in.”
Arthur shook his head, smiling fondly as he relaxed against the counter. “You should have at least gone to see your parents first.” He gave Alfred's shoulder a slap. “I'm nowhere near as important a visit they are.”
That had Alfred laughing, that carefree attitude the same one Arthur had fallen for in high school. If only he hadn't been a two years above the lad, maybe they could have been sweethearts. Ah well, no use in wishing for the past. He held out a hand to shake Alfred's, though he knew the lad would surely pull him into some form of bear hug. Always so affectionate.
As if on cue, Alfred did just that. He tugged Arthur forward with his offered hand, landing the smaller man inside the circle of his arms. The hug felt so nice, those warm arms settled on Arthur's back. He felt one travel a little low for his taste, but he wouldn't reprimand the other. Alfred likely hadn't realized it anyway.
That was when Arthur felt a hand on his arse. His cheeks flushed and he pushed at Alfred's chest. “W-What are you-"
“I saw your sign out front.” Alfred's cheeks were red, but his smile was a teasing one. “Ass World, huh? Does that mean your ass is for sale? Cause if it is, I'm totally interested in buying~”
Arthur's brain was damn near short circuiting before he registered thag he was being flirted with. “I-I would prefer if you bought me dinner instead-" He began lamely before something clicked in his mind. “-wait, WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘ASS WORLD?’”
The next few hours were filled with laughter, embarrassment, and a hasty call to a neon sign repair company.