Life is a Stage
Another Lily re-write! This time with the main story bit where Jeremiah puts together her identity for going into the Nest.
LND Masterlist
Words: 1.4k
Warnings: Neither of these fuckers have healthy coping mechanisms-
Lily had to admit, if the weight of what she was doing hadn’t already hit, this was absolutely making it sink in.
Watching Jeremiah effortlessly pull up various false personas on the screens, Xavier critiquing each one. As much as she had figured there was something off about the duo, between Xavier’s unparalleled skill and Jeremiah’s acting skills (or lack there-of), this was… something else. She wasn’t sure what exactly she was expecting, but for them to be navigating the dark web without the slightest hesitation, to be putting together an entire fake-persona for her to get into the N109 Zone, so perfectly that it was up to her own acting skills to not reveal the lies? That certainly wasn’t on the list.
She came back to focus when Jeremiah seemed to be making his suggestion more directly to her, meaning it’s probably more promising.
“Heiress from the Grand Duchy of Gwarentz. Born with a diamond spoon, your wealth rivals that of nations. What do you think?”
Lily hummed, her eyebrows furrowing as she considered. “That seems a little… much.” She admitted, looking at the picture on the screen.
Jeremiah didn’t seem phased by her critique and simply nodded, pulling up yet another profile. Lily watched as the image changed, the more vibrant colors of everyone’s outfits switching to black, more intimidating.
“Heiress to a mysterious crime syndicate. Last name is- well, we should just use yours to keep your story straight.” He offered, looking at her again. “I’ll create a comprehensive profile and put it up on the dark web. I can make it convincing enough to the point where even professionals will have a hard time distinguishing fact from fiction.”
Lily nodded approvingly, shifting her weight. “That should be more doable than heiress to a country. It avoids the high-scale political stuff I can’t really keep track of. Though I’ll admit it’s more… intimidating than I was expecting.”
“It won’t work if it’s not intimidating enough.” Xavier explained, as though he were simply telling her the forecast for tomorrow’s weather.
Jeremiah looked between the two before stepping closer to Lily. “Clothes maketh the man. I just need to find an outfit that matches your status-”
His voice, and attempts to get her measurements, are cut off by Xavier spritzing him with the spray bottle that he’d been using on flowers just moments ago.
Lily rolled her eyes and reached over, lightly smacking Xavier’s arm as a scolding. Fortunately for Jeremiah, she was able to give him her own measurements easily, since she had measured herself for her Hunter’s uniform not terribly long ago, so it should be a good enough reference. Satisfied with what information he had, he hurried out of the greenhouse to avoid Xavier’s spray bottle being turned on him again.
Lily watched Xavier move about the greenhouse quietly, her arms crossed as she stayed out of the way. Normally Lily would find herself exhausted when she’d stayed up all night, and rarely was she awake so late she’d catch the sunrise. Yet now, as the sun begins to brighten the sky, she found herself still wide awake. Perhaps it was thanks to her racing thoughts, trying to figure out how Xavier and Jeremiah know how to do all of this, facing the gravity of what she’s preparing to do, and trying to mentally figure out her new role.
Xavier caught her staring at him, tilting his head curiously. “What’s wrong?”
“You and Jeremiah… there’s more to you two than you show.” She answered, not even phrasing it as a question. There’s no doubt in her mind that there’s something, she just doesn’t know what.
Xavier seemed caught off guard for only a moment, shaking his head. “I’m just a normal Hunter.”
Lily quirked a brow at his response, such a blatant lie. She hummed and stood straighter, slowly walking over to him. Might as well give her upcoming persona a little test run, since she has a sneaking suspicion that Xavier is a good baseline of the skill of the people she can expect to be dealing with soon.
“Just a hunter?” She echoed, looking him in the eye. “Just a hunter doesn’t have connections at the ready to get people a complete fake identity. Just a hunter isn’t completely casual about manipulating the dark web. Just a hunter isn’t able to solo wanderers that would typically take at least two decently skilled hunters to take down.” She stopped approaching when they were just inches apart, her expression stern and unwavering.
Xavier seemed to be startled by the sudden aggression, even momentarily concerned. Though he finally managed to catch the spark of amusement in her eye, his shoulders relaxing ever so slightly. Despite his relief, he still wasn’t able to answer her, simply offering a small nod and looking away from her eyes. He’s lied to her enough as is, to do it when she’s so directly calling his bluff?
Lily hummed disapprovingly, reaching up to grab his chin, still keeping her grip gentle. As much as she’s enjoying the practice, the last thing she wants is to actually be forceful with him. No matter what he’s hiding, she’s not going to just start manhandling him. “Look me in the eye.” She instructed, watching him closely.
Xavier obeyed, looking her in the eye. Instead of answering her question, he opted for changing the topic. “You’re better at this than I was expecting…”
Lily snorted, gently rubbing his chin with her thumb as an apology before releasing him. “A skill I tend to avoid flaunting. I’m surprised you never realized I could do it, though. I at least try to be serious when we’re on missions.” She commented, her tone much lighter now as she put her hands on her hips.
“You are… but it’s strange having it directed at me.” He admitted, his expression shifting slightly. Despite how closely he watches her, somehow this slipped right past him… Was she pretending when she was with him? Or is it an act when she’s confident on the battlefield? Which one was worse?
“Did you expect me to be comfortable with diving headfirst into the centerpiece of all things illegal without being able to at least play pretend?” Lily asked, pouting as she looked up at him. Honestly, she was rather reassured by his surprise. Hopefully the attitude will be more fitting once she tries on what Jeremiah puts together for her, but it’s a relief that she’s good about coming across as honest and kind on a regular basis.
“No…” Xavier answered, trailing off as he tried to think of how best to explain his racing thoughts. The doubt and uncertainty, and the realization that… perhaps this is what she thinks of him, as well? She’s right that he hides so much from her, but he didn’t realize how big of a distance even such a small act can cause.
He was snapped out of his thoughts when feeling a gentle hand on his cheek, Lily urging him to look at her again. She looked concerned, and oh how he hated it.
“Xav…?” She asked softly, rubbing his cheek with her thumb. He started to reach up, hesitating for a moment before taking her hand in his and giving it a small squeeze.
Hoping to lighten the mood, she offered him a small smile. “What, was my acting just that good? I didn’t mean to scare you.” She teased lightly.
Xavier couldn’t find it in him to laugh, his eyebrows furrowing instead. “You… are a very good actor.”
Lily faltered before letting out a small sigh. “I have to be.” She spoke quietly, taking a slow breath to keep her voice steady. “As a Hunter, I have to be confident. If I doubt myself, I’ll seem untrustworthy, unreliable. If I look scared, the people I’m trying to help won’t feel safe.” She explained, shutting her eyes. “Even with friends, I don’t want them to worry about me, so I have to act okay. Even if I’m tired, or don’t feel great, or if I’m hurting.”
Xavier listened quietly, guilt hitting him like a bowling ball in the stomach. How didn’t he notice? Did she do the same thing? How could he be so blind?
Lily took a slow breath to recompose herself before letting out a small laugh and offering him a smile, standing up straighter again. “But it’s okay, honest.” She reassured. “It’s serving me well for this mission, after all!”
While she was trying to comfort him, it honestly just further served to disturb him. That she could flip that switch so easily after a moment of vulnerability, all to give him peace of mind, before he could even try to offer her any semblance of comfort…
