#loekas

[reasonsforhope]

Your blog always helps me breathe a little more easily. Thank you 🙏❤️

Do you still have a Kofi or patron? Can't remember which you had. I stopped paying for awhile because financials, but I'd like to start again.

❤️❤️Happy to help :)

I do still have a kofi! I'm at https://ko-fi.com/reasonsforhope.

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[myaekingheart]

For Thirsty Thursday. Tell me about your fav oc! Anything goes, ramble away! Infodump me, baby!

[thirsty thursday]

My favorite OC is definitely Rei 😂 But she's also the one I talk about the most and focus on the most, too, so I should probably pick someone else for this, but...

You're all gonna hear it again because I love her.

Basics are that she's the only daughter of Hana (née Yamanaka) and Yuruganai Natsuki, who own the local bookstore Kaminoki Shop. The bookstore itself was founded by Rei's grandfather, Oku Natsuki. She grew up in a little house on the outskirts of the village with her parents and her paternal grandmother, Teiko Natsuki, with whom she shares a really close bond. Their next door neighbors were Hana and Yuruganai's childhood friends Sakumo and Aijo (née Inuzuka) Hatake, so Rei and Kakashi grew up together and were super close. Rei really admired Kakashi and she desperately wanted to pursue a career as a ninja just like him, but she had very little support at home except for grandmother, who was actually the one who signed Rei's permission slip to enter the academy behind Hana and Yuruganai's backs. Kakashi supported her, too...until he didn't. When he started losing everyone, he did a complete 180 and basically told Rei "forget it, you're too weak, you'll never make it as a ninja so quit while you're ahead" and basically just detached himself from everyone. So that of course broke Rei's heart in pieces. Her childhood best friend, one of the only people who ever supported her, just leaving her in the dust. So she took this as an opportunity. She took that anger and hatred she felt toward him and everyone else who told her she wouldn't make it and she used that to fuel herself further to prove that she belonged there. And by the time she was 18, she was appointed into the ANBU. To train under Kakashi. Things were really tense at first as the two of them tried to navigate this abrupt reunion but ultimately, they couldn't avoid the fact that they still cared very deeply for each other after all these years. And as they grew closer, Rei discovered that sometimes things aren't always as they seem, that Kakashi never actually stopped caring about her, that he detached himself from her because he cared about her. That he tried to deter her from her dreams because he didn't want her to put herself in danger, he didn't want to risk losing her, too. Throughout the years, he'd peer around corners and from behind trees sneaking around to check on her and make sure she was safe. He of course missed her deeply and desperately wanted to spend time with her but he felt that keeping his distance was what was best. Now that she was in the ANBU with him, though, he knew that was no longer possible and neither was avoiding the way he felt about her. At 18 and 20 respectively, Rei and Kakashi ultimately had to admit their feelings to each other and started pursuing a romantic relationship.

Even when things seemed well and good, they were reunited after so many years and Rei had felt like she had finally proven herself to him and her family, things were still rocky. Rei lost her best friend in the line of duty, thanks to her own leadership skills, and spiraled into a deep depression that led her to temporarily break up with Kakashi under the excuse of needing space. It took almost a year for Rei to finally return to him and Kakashi decided quickly afterward to ask her to marry him. And even then, things still manage to go haywire as they try to prep for the wedding and cope with some very rapidfire changes that occur during this time, like their decision to try for a baby being very quickly scrapped by Rei making ANBU captain which is then in turn very quickly scrapped by Rei unexpectedly getting pregnant right after her and Kakashi decided to stop trying. And that's about the point in the story I'm at currently, but things are also about to get even more hectic for reasons I won't delve into now for the sake of ✨spoilers✨

But ultimately Rei and Kakashi do eventually get married and have six children together across a span of ten years: Nariko, Rokurou, Sutego (who is adopted), Katsuro, Keiko, and Kazuhiko.

Personality-wise, Rei is intelligent, a little sarcastic, guarded but also deeply caring, and []. Her paternal family's kekkei genkai is actually founded in empathy through a jutsu called chakra tethering. It's basically the ability to not just channel one's chakra into an object but lock it there so that you and that object are linked, and wherever that object is, you can sense what's going on around it--which is very useful for espionage. Rei can also use herself as a vessel to channel other people's chakra into objects, which is something she uses for a personal thing she has called chakra plants. Her chakra plant project is actually a deeply personal and special thing she reserves for only those she cares the most about like Kakashi, her family, and her closest friends. It involves a very intimate ritual of choosing the perfect flower to represent the aforementioned person, the perfect pot to house that plant in, and then the chakra channeling itself. Once this is complete, the cherished person and their chakra plant are intrinsically linked so that based on the chakra that's locked in the plant, Rei can estimate the morale of that cherished person no matter where they are in the world based on the wellbeing of the plant. So for example, with Kakashi, he and Rei picked a cornflower because it reminded her of scarecrows, she planted it in a pot, and then she siphoned a bit of Kakashi's chakra from his body, channeled it through herself and into the plant, and then locked it in the plant so now if Kakashi is off on a mission and he gets seriously injured, Rei will know something is wrong because the plant will respond to the wellbeing of his chakra and begin to droop or dry out or wilt depending on the severity of his injuries. I feel like it's all kind of complicated, and I should probably draw a diagram of something one of these days to make it a little clearer, but I'm doing my best 😅

And then training-history wise, Rei entered the academy at 6 and made genin at 10. She was placed on a team with her schoolmate and best friend Naru Fuzuki, the daughter of local socialites involved local government and finances, and her bully Sekkachi Fumeiyo, a girl from a downtrodden clan known for being liabilities in battle thanks to a chronic illness that runs in the family. Their sensei was Chikara, a wise and proper woman with a background in, believe it or not, dance. She used those experiences in dance, however, to strengthen her students' teamwork, espionage, and awareness skills by having them create a group alter ego as young idols/rave dancers and perform choreographed dances at a club where they learned how to disguise themselves, change the way they act, and discretely keep their eye on large crowds while doing something else. And of course the importance of being in sync both on the stage and on the battlefield. Despite the fact that they have all since grown up and grown apart in ways, however, they still keep in touch as best as they can. Chikara is out of the village often but she and Sekkachi, specifically, share an extremely close, sisterly bond so Chikara is always the first one Sekkachi goes to for advice or some tough love. And over time, Naru brought Rei and Sekkachi closer together, too, to the point where the two of them are now damn near inseparable and like sisters--they butt heads a lot but there's nothing they wouldn't do for each other and they are always there for one another which is great since neither of them have biological sisters themselves but they're close enough and have known each other long enough that they might as well be sisters. And in the future, Sekkachi ends up becoming sensei to Rei's firstborn, Nariko, as well as Mirai Sarutobi.

There's honestly even more I could say about Rei, her story, her relationship with Kakashi and my other OCs, etc. but by now I feel like this response has gotten long enough so I'll stop it there but the ask box is always open for even more information if anyone is curious enough 😅

[bobabirdd]

loekas replied to your photoset “Redesigned my OC Trevor aka the dude that was in my final project like...”

Is the comic up already? Could you give me a link? Because I would LOVE to read it

nooooo not yet TwT I’m making it for the webtoons short story competition so It’ll be up at the endo f April :D I’ll def make a post about it when I post C: ♥♥ 

aLSO AAAA IM GLAD YOU WANNA READ IT TwT ♥♥♥♥ 

[wafflelate]

Just wanted to say you're an amazing writer. You have such a great grasp on the characters. It really feels like you're snippets are part of DOS canon. Or au versions of it :p

Ahhhh thank you!!! I’ve uh. reread DoS a LOT tbh that is my Great Secret. there are spreadsheets and everything.

[selenelavellan]

loekas replied to your post “Having a rough day.  Send me some fluff or happy prompts for some...”

Dirthalene; Dirthamen works in a diner as a cook (for some reason), has a crush on regular customer Selene, and makes her pancakes into cute and funny shapes that are different every time.

Diner AU

Dirthamen, Ess, Lath, and Falon’din are @feynites

Selene doesn't have many indulgences.

But she is a sucker for routine.

Which is why every Wednesday, when the school she works at lets out an hour early, she makes her way to the diner on her route home. Grading papers is always more pleasant with a limitless cup of coffee and a stack of oddly shaped pancakes, somehow.

As for why she always sits at the bar top, well...

Maybe the cook who's usually on duty isn't exactly hard on the eyes, either.

Today though, her cook is missing. Lath is standing between the counter and the window into the kitchen rather than her usual wanderings around the floor to check on customers.

There is another man at the counter, too. His arms are covered in tattoos of wings that remind her of the owls she used to see in the woods, and his hands are littered with thick rings that seem almost designed to hurt whoever he might decide to punch. His eyes look her up and down as she takes her usual seat, and Selene nearly does a 180 and walks back out with her papers in hand.

But she's been looking forward to her coffee and pancakes all day, and she's not about to let some overbearing jerk keep her from getting them.

Lath approaches with a hesitant smile, taking Selenes order with a nod.

Ess is in the kitchen though, and Selene tries not to pout when the pancakes arrive in perfectly round form.

“What happened to-”

“Ess is cooking today. She's the only one in,” Lath interrupts, far sharper than Selene has ever heard her. The dreamy lilt to her voice and smile behind her eyes is gone today; even her curls seem to hang more tightly wound than usual over her shoulders.

The other man at the counter scoffs, picking at the lemon rind on the edge of his cup of water.

Selene eats her pancakes without further complaint (They still taste fine, but she'd become rather fond of the stars and snowflakes and various animals), and after another 30 minutes, the man besides her knocks his water glass off the counter. It shatters loudly onto the floor, and he sweeps a leather coat over his arms and leaves in a quiet, seething fury without so much as a look behind him.

Rude, she thinks.

Another fifteen minutes pass, and she's nearly finished reading her students book reflections and finishing off her third cup of coffee when a dark crop of hair appears in the kitchen.

“Oh, you're back!” She exclaims before her hand darts up in front of her mouth.

Her cook turns around, nearly as surprised as she is at her exclamation and with a faint blush rising over his cheeks.

“Yes, I was...” he hesitates. “...on break.”

“Long break,” Selene teases. “I've nearly finished grading already.”

“I apologize.”

“Nothing to apologize for,” She smiles. “You should take care of yourself, that's more important than the work.”

“An odd sentiment for a teacher to have.”

“Is it?” Selene blinks. “If I get sick, or something happens to me, then who will teach my students? If I work myself to exhaustion, I'm no good to them. Then I have to worry about someone else coming in who might not know that Melanadahl needs rigid parameters for his assignments, or that Din'durgen can memorize historical dates in a flash but struggles with her multiplication tables, or that it's ok to let Ashalin eat her snacks in class because it helps her stay focused, and students who need the attention might fall by the wayside when they've all got so much wonderful potential, and...” Selene sighs. “Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent. End of year is coming and I'm going to have to say goodbye to my students. It's always hard, and I tend to get attached. My roommate teases me about it endlessly.”

“You sound like a very good teacher.”

“I try my best,” Selene smiles back. “I hope you're feeling better, though?”

“Yes,” he nods. “Though I heard my brother smashed a glass while I was gone.”

It takes a moment for his words to register.

“That guy was your brother?”

“Is that strange?”

“I guess not,” Selene muses. “How many years apart are you?”

“We are twins, in fact.”

“No way. But he was all...” Selene gestures vaguely while scrunching up her face “And you're all...”she gestures back to the chef and lets out a sigh.

“Yes. He is the handsome one.”

Selene snorts. “No. He's really-I mean, different strokes for different folks, but-I mean I guess if you're into the tall broad tattoo and creepy just-out-of-jail-for-murder thing, but you're way more handsome than-” Selene bites down on her lower lip. “You know what?”

The chef blinks, silently.

“I think I've had too much coffee,” She asserts. “I'm just gonna-gonna pay my check. I hope your day gets better.”

He nods, slowly while Selene asks Lath for her check and excuses herself to the bathroom.

She finishes washing her hands, faced cooled down a bit from the splash of water to help her keep from accidentally setting a fire in her favorite diner. She hands Lath the payment for her food, and Lath returns with a styrofoam box and her receipt.

“For the road,” Lath smiles cryptically, a dreamy hum back in her voice.

–

Selene doesn't open the box until she's home, her roommate Des draped over her shoulder and asking eagerly for her leftovers. She swats his hand away from the lid, carefully opening it to find a stack of pancakes shaped like blooming pear trees, with a white chocolate icing for color and a small container on the side, filled with her favorite strawberry syrup.

Taped to the inside of the lid is a note.

His name is Dirthamen

-Lath ;) <3

with a phone number scrawled out beneath.

“I think these are for me,” Selene finally manages, face burning up as she swiftly shuts the lid, tucking them into the refrigerator. “I'll make you something else for dinner.”

[thearkenstone-ck]

Hey there. So I'm on a huge Hobbit kick right now and just discovered your blog. I was wondering if I could send you some headcanon about Bilbo and Thorin? I have a mighty need to gush about these adorable dorks, but no one I know in real life is interested in listening to my ramblings about these two. So... interested? If not, I'll try to find someone else.

Hello (๑・ .̫ ・๑) Thank you for your message.I like Thorin but it is not limited to "Bagginshield."About "Bagginshield", I don't like sad things.(This is important to me.) I love to see them that seem happy. So I love AUJ. (⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡I also like "Thorinduil" and "Dworin". And,Basically other than "genderbend", I like all Tolkien's original characters.

I don't know if I can meet your wishes.Because I am poor at English. ʅ(´-ω-`)ʃ

I hope that Bagginshield fans will read this answer and find you.:ஐ(●˘͈ ᵕ˘͈)人(˘͈ᵕ ˘͈●)ஐ:*

[selenelavellan]

loekas replied to your post “TMI Tuesday”

I'm on a Star Wars kick right now, so what are your thought on an au with Rey!Selene and Kylo Ren!Dirthamen. Snoke can be either Mythal or Falon'Din. Or maybe Falon'Din is Hux?

I still haven’t seen The Last Jedi, so I don’t really know enough about most of these characters to make that call I think. Star Wars has been on my blacklist since it dropped so I haven’t seen anything even tangentially related to it in months.

Based on ep 7 I do like Reys backstory for Selene though? Left abandoned on a desert planet to scavenge and explore and try to survive on her own would be pretty fitting to her usual stories.

I...don’t like Dirthamen for Kylo Ren <_<.

No hate or offense to anyone who likes the character (I’ve literally only seen 50% of the movies he’s been in, please don’t send me a list of parallels or something if they exist), I’m not like ‘god I hate that guy’ or anything, but I don’t like the idea of him and Rey together (If they get together in ep 8 please, please don’t tell me, let me discover the movie on my own so I can have my own genuine reaction to everything in context) and if anything I am holding a bit of a grudge against him because he fucking killed Han Solo and I liked Han Solo dammit.

I have literally no opinion on Snoke? He seems like an ass by virtue of anyone with power in the Empire is an ass, but I’ve heard in the extra info/universe there’s more to it (again, don’t tell me, please let me learn and experience the movie on my own) . By that same virtue, I’d imagine any of the Evanuris would be a fitting Snoke, because I don’t really have much information about him.

[selenelavellan]

loekas replied to your post “Send Me Prompts”

Des'din pov snippet on himself/Selene/his family, etc. Basically, how does he feel in this au?

Reverse Evanuris AU

Mythal, Elgar’nan, Andruil, and Sylaise are based on @feynites work

Ana (Mentioned) is @lycheemilkarts

TW For Evanuris War Atrocities being mentioned, and general Des issues

Once upon a time, Desire was the center of everything.

Things were better then.

Then, when cravings were spontaneous and fleeting. Powerful and immediate and easily seized. When Devotion was doting and supportive and followed wherever he went. When they could fly with absolute unheeded freedom, their wings were full and glittering beneath stars and suns and light breaking through leaves. When they were still them.

Before Justice, and Vengeance.

Before the bloodbaths.

Bodies are new, a new sense of adventure, a new world to explore, something to want and to need and to keep. And Justice wants it for them so very badly, that Desire wants it too.

Devotion follows, as she does. As she must.

His Devotion, who wants for nothing but him.

He loves her, and she loves him, as she does. As she must.

Justice and Vengeance become Mother and Father and Moon and Sun and many other titles that Desire tucks away into his much more tightly wound mind.

He thinks that he would like more titles, too.

He earns them in battles, in training, in smooth words that flow like wine from his mouth in ways that make Devotion uneasy. In bed sheets and campgrounds, he learns about different bodies and different mouths and different sorts of desires than the ones he feels from his family. Desires that light him up and make him feel the sort of warmth he felt before his cage of bones and flesh.

But Desire is not one to be easily trapped; he takes his cage and adapts.

He seizes it, this flesh that is wrapped too tightly around him and learns touch. His own, first. He learns how to make the pain disappear, vanishing beneath needs and wants that feel like home, familiar and warm. How to raise them higher, discovers his limits and how much he enjoys pushing past them, barreling off cliffs with falling that feels like flying and leaves him breathless and panting with the memory of it.

He tries to tell Devotion of his great discovery.

She is skeptical, and unwilling to try for herself.

He is not sure how to handle that. She has never doubted him before, has always followed faithfully. They have always, always, trusted each other before all else. She is his Devotion, his, and the thought that she is being pulled in directions he does not see leaves him distraught. He lashes out, fire and anger and betrayal that she is leaving him behind, that she does not want him, that she is denying that piece of herself.

But he is wrong.

She reaches through the flames, surging bright and warm and forgiving as she holds him close. He is burning, burning, burning, and she is holding him so close he wonders for a moment if she will pull him back into her. If they might undo this life and try again, somewhere else, somewhere that won't try so hard to tear them apart. Horns split from his head with a scream, piercing through her shoulders as he explodes and comes undone with his conflicts. She waits, and holds him. Does not push for more, does not rush him to decide, and pushes away mother when she tries to step in.

The blood sits on her shoulder for a week while he finds himself again.

He has never been wrong before, and the apology is slow from his tongue. Not as freely given as flirtations and compliments and wit, but earned in patience and met with forgiveness.

He is given his name, and then Andruil comes.

He is half convinced Mother only bore a child because of Selene's refusal to let her interfere in their bond, but he knows better than to say as much. Father is loud and blazing and leaves destruction in his wake, but Mother is cruel and calculating and will slit a throat with one hand while cradling a head in the other. A mother's love is unwavering, but it is a thin line to walk to stay in her graces, and he does it well.

Selene moves into his bed to make room for Andruil, and for a while things are good again. She is his, and there is battle and blood and war to keep them busy in daylight. Treaties forged with clans in darkened shadows with bated breaths and sticky endings, for those that can still be saved. Whose keepers are not already mad or traitors. Who still have hope, and can bring it to the empire.

He would very much like an empire.

“I just want the war to be over,” his other half whispers against the pillow. “I want the rivers to run clear again, I want to run barefoot through a forest without checking for traps first, I want to fly through the skies without scouting for arrows. I want Andruil to know a world that isn't bathed in blood.”

“Whatever you desire,” he vows into her hair.

But ending the war takes longer than they'd like. Mother and Father declare them victorious, but something still feels hollow. There are camps without keepers and prisons being filled and neither he nor Selene understand how someone can be a prisoner of war when there is no war left to fight.

“You will understand when you are older,” Mother tells them, before ushering them into their thrones.

They are not together, though. The empire is vast and it will take all of them to rule it. Mother even births another sister, a young thing with a familiar taste for beauty, to assist with the burden.

It is lonely, at first. His bed is cold and his face is bare and different from those around him. A marker that he is not one of the people.

Father tells him he is because he is better. That it's a mark of elevation to have a bared face. His people bring him gifts and sacrifices and satisfy every desire he places before them, and so Des'din finds no reason to argue. It is almost like having his world filled with Devotions, catering to him and placing his needs first.  

It is a different kind of satisfaction, but he finds he likes it all the same.

They are less skeptical of his discovery of touch than Da'Selene had been, and he finds he enjoys indulging them almost as much as they enjoy being indulged. A give and take that fills some of the voids inside himself, the ache from being apart from his other half so often now.

And then she finds her bear.

That blasted, red haired star speckled twig of a woman that seizes her attentions so vividly.

“You should turn her in,” Des'din tsks, looking over the gangly dirt and fur covered elf.

“She's done nothing wrong,” Da'Selene argues. “Why would I?”

“She stabbed you.”

“So she's good with a knife,” she muses “And she snuck through my protections without being caught. I could use that.”

“She could have killed you. Killed me. Turn her in, throw her in a prison, or kill her. Those are your options.”

But she's not listening to him anymore. She's gotten that far off look in her eyes, developing a plan and not telling him any piece of it.

It is infuriating.

So he tries to kill the girl, instead.

It backfires in a big way.

Selene is furious with him, and he is furious with her. He could not tell her why, not even if he wanted to in this form. Long and stretched and familiar as they screech towards the sky, tumbling down mountains and screaming flames at one another. It's confusing. She is his, she is his but she is fighting for something else, for someone else, someone who doesn't even matter. They are better, they are more than some spotted elf and their bond means more than some blood on a marbled floor.

He had offered to replace the floor, even.

He doesn't understand.

He's not sure she does either.

But when they are both worn down, exhausted and unable to hold the dragons form any longer, lying in the ashes of a grassy hill, she tries to explain.

She has changed.

She loves him, will always love him. Could not stop loving him, even if she wanted to.

But she is not Devotion anymore. She is not his.

She has people to look after, now. Their sisters, their people, the spirits still endangered. She can't give him all of herself, anymore.

It is a painful thing to hear, but the words feel like they are stitching up pieces of himself. Pulling himself together for the first time since he fell apart.

Not a half of anything, but a whole person. Standing and supporting himself, without anyone to follow.

It is terrifying, and he shudders beneath the weight of it.

She reaches out and laces her fingers through his.

“I will never leave you,” She vows, words weaved through their bond as he feels them settle within himself. “But I have to have the freedom to live for myself.”

He turns to look at her, her face still peppered with scales, pupils long and thin in overly round eyes. She is still Devotion, for all that she may try to shed it, just as he is still Desire. He still wants, still craves, still hungers for satisfaction. He knows it is unlikely she will ever live for herself, really. There is a better chance she will stretch herself thin to breaking in her attempts to please and protect.

He has been selfish.

His apology forms in spots on his face, freckles scattered over his nose and cheeks. Like those on the bear she seems to keen to protect.

Selene smiles and lays a kiss on each as a sign of her acceptance of it.

Change.

Perhaps it is time for one, after all.