#lofialternative

[maxjustmaxnotmadmax]

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Another rough recording of a song I wrote. I wrote this about 6 months ago shortly after a particularly painful break up.  I hope this speaks to someone.

Lyrics:

Asked a rock to be a tree

oh how foolish I can be

expecting growth from something that just holds me down.

And you say you’ve had a few

okay, maybe a case or two

but hey, fuck me.

This is what you want to do.

When you’ve had too much to drink

just don’t grab your keys

cause no one’s going to hide them from you now.

I hope you 

learn to swim before you drown.

Throwing rigs into your arms,

never had to look that hard.

I guess it’s easy

when your habit’s always been your home.

All your friends they should know better

but they’re here for fairer weather

and besides, 

they’re just as fucked up as you are.

On those party nights you like

please lay on your side 

cause no one’s going to roll you over now.

I hope you 

learn to swim before you drown

Now it’s all come to an end

and we can’t go back again.

I’ll always miss you,

at least who I thought that you were. 

And I’ll always wonder whether

you ever got yourself together

but shit,

it’s such a tough lesson to learn.

Sorry that I couldn’t stay,

but I can’t stay too dazed 

cause no one’s going to watch for me right now.

I had to

learn to swim,

and choose to swim,

learn to swim before I drowned.

[maxjustmaxnotmadmax]

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This is a rough recording of a song I wrote about my anxiety about answering mundane questions from family and friends I only see around the holidays. I went through a bad break up this year. I’m a queer dude and some family relationships are strained or nonexistent as a result. I hope this speaks to someone. 

Lyrics:

My bed’s been cold since June

December’s getting rough

and I’ve got more room for garland

without all your stuff.

We’ve got Christmas cheer

and Christmas beer in Hanukkah coffee mugs

and all the shit that mattered once but

never was enough.

The angels sang a chorus and 

I said a prayer that

no one would ask me but

god didn’t care.

“How’s Roo? How are you two?

How’s your dog and how’s your mom?

How’s your grandpa too?

How’s Roo? How are you two?

How’s your dad and how’s your mom

and how the hell are you?”

Now I’m not saying it’s abnormal,

it’s really just polite

to exchange pleasantries on Christmas Eve in

the colored lights.

But Frosty shot the Sheriff, 

and Rudolph brought the gun.

and I know that’s got to matter 

to at least one someone.

My diversion isn’t working

and you all think I’m weird.

If I stand really still

will you please forget that I’m here?

“How’s Roo? How are you two?

How’s your dog and how’s your mom?

How’s your grandpa too?

How’s Roo? How are you two?

How’s your dad and how’s your mom

and how the hell are you?”

Go to hell all these sleigh bells.

I don’t want to wake up

on Christmas day all wide awake

and hoping for someone.

Last year when it got cold

we wore each other’s arms.

Then we took it one step further

and wore each other’s hearts.

But you did some drugs, 

you took some pills

and said you were going to change.

But every time I asked you to,

you just sounded so deranged.

You could have said you’re sorry.

You had time to turn around.

But anytime you picked it up,

you wouldn’t put it down.

“How’s Roo? How are you two?

How’s your dog and how’s your mom?

How’s your grandpa too?

How’s Roo? How are you two?

How’s your dad and how’s your mom

and how the hell are you?”

2020 was a bummer, man.

Happy new year for the whole year.

See you around.

[livingdiningkitchen]

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