All Things Must Love, part one: fools in geniuses
this is just a fluffy prinxiety and logicality get-together au during a movie night so far, the first part is in Logan’s point of view and the next part will be in Roman’s.
tw: swearing, characters sleeping together is heavily implied. next chapter I’ll include more. if there’s something I’m missing please, please, please let me know.
I’ve never been the type to give in to emotions. Hell, I’ve never been the one to have emotions in general. And I absolutely am not the type of person to fall in love easily, or, again, at all. I’m the logical one, the analytical one, the intelligent one.
So let’s do what I always do when confronted with problems not regarding brainpower: ignore it and hope it goes away. Pray it goes away - I don’t like feeling so helpless whenever he enters the room.
Oh no. There he is again.
And there it is. The swooping feeling of being overwhelmed, my knees go weak, my hands shaking. I couldn’t find my voice. I felt my cheeks flushed hot, and my stomach was heavy. My heart pounded in my throat, threatening to break out. How many love songs had I heard that said, “he takes my breath away”? Now that line made a lot of sense. My body numbed as he approached and I became painfully conscious of my blushing face.
“Hey, Logan!” Patton chirped, waving clumsily.
How is he so perfect? Everything about him makes me helpless, like that Eliza Hamilton Roman keeps singing on the daily.
“H-Hi, Patton,” I stammered, adjusting my glasses.
He laughed. Patton didn't laugh like a man, he giggled like a boy and I loved it. It was like listening to his inner child breaking out. His face was mobile in the way deeply happy and content people are, simply lacking the tension anxiety brings. His eyes had a softness to them, there was something so welcoming in the rich browns.
“What’s so funny?” I said, a bit sharply. Damn. Didn’t mean to do that.
“You, Logan!” he cooed. “You keep doing that funny face. Like you’re confused and happy at the same time.”
“O-Oh.” I swallowed. “Say, Patton, you wouldn’t possibly - I mean, you couldn’t - ”
Where was I even going with this, I had no idea.
“Wouldn’t…?” Patton prompted, beaming.
“Umm…never mind.” Crap. My courage dissipated faster than water evaporating at boiling point.
“All right,” he laughed. “Let me know when the cat that took your tongue comes back, because I like cats!”
I rolled my eyes as if this dorky joke didn’t make me love him even more.
“Hey, Patton, could you c’mere?” Roman’s voice sounding from the kitchen saved me from saying anything else awkward.
“Sure thing, Princey!” Patton called. Then he turned back to me. “Talk later, Logi Wan Kenobi.”
I felt my face warm up at the nickname.
Virgil’s voice startled me, and I could feel my red cheeks go white. “Jesus Christ, you scared me.”
“You’re easy to scare.” Virgil slid down the railing of the stairs and landed gracefully on his feet. “I have some news for you, and you might not like it.”
I groan. “If you tell me that movie night is going to be postponed again - ”
“Logan, listen to me. The news is: you’re in love with Patton. Congratulations, you’re officially the last one to know.”
I knew what he was going to say before the words left his mouth, but I didn’t expect him to be so blunt about it. Or so loud. “Virgil! Shh! They might hear you!”
Virgil waved me off. “When are you gonna ask him out?”
I wanted to explain myself. “You see, falling in love with him was the easy part; it's admitting to myself that it happened that's hard. It’s also hard to act on these, uh, feelings when I’m not really used to having them.”
“Oh come on!” Virgil rolled his eyes. “Do yourself a favor and Ask. Him. Out.”
“I’m not exactly going to come to you for dating advice. How are you and Roman?” I counter.
Now it’s Virgil’s turn to go bright red. “Shut up.”
“When are you gonna ask him?”
“Shut up!” he said, panicked.
“Why? Are you afraid I’ll tell you what you already know?”
“You know what, forget it,” Virgil snaps, turning and going back up the stairs.
“Sleeping together is not platonic!” I shouted after him.
“What was that?” Roman said conversationally, walking into the room.
“I was saying, you and Virgil aren’t ‘together’ but still sleeping with each other is kind of odd,” I say, knowing exactly what to say to make Roman blush.
He knows it, too. “Don’t - Hey.”
I laugh at his loss of words. “I’m just telling the truth, Princey.”
Just my luck, Patton walked in. “Sleeping together is platonic,” he said, confused. “I’ve slept in the same bed as a lot of my friends, it doesn’t mean we’re dating!”
I pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head. This is…my crush. Holy shit. “No, Patt - ”
I almost snorted. “Sorry. No use destroying such an innocent mind.”
“Well,” Patton said reassuringly, “Roman will know soon enough.”
Roman chuckled and patted me on the back. “All yours,” he murmured in my ear. Amused at his little joke, he walked away laughing.
“What did Roman need you to do?” I asked as soon as he was gone.
“Oh, just needed help deciding on a pasta,” Patton said idly.
“Falsehood,” I replied. “What did he actually want?”
“He was just…” Patton gestured wildly with his hands. “I don’t know. Guy stuff.”
“He needed advice,” Patton said finally. “He didn’t want me to tell you, but he wanted help on how to talk to Virgil.”
“What did you say?” I said curiously. I, also, desperately required love advice.
Patton smiled. “I told him to be nice and genuine, and say how you feel.” He let out a soft giggle. “But I’m not really the person to go to for relationship trouble, as I’m not, you know, in a relationship.”
That’s your cue to ask him out! my head screamed. He’s literally asking for it, you buffoon!
And I wanted to. I really wanted to.
But I couldn’t. What I did say was, “Oh, well that’s good advice.”
“Yeah,” he said proudly. He rocked back and forth on his feet. “Well, I’ll see you for movie night in about an hour!”
Shit. Right. That. “Mhm, I’ll be there.”
“Great!” Patton chirped. “Okay, bye!”
Roman and Virgil came back down from upstairs, both of their faces slightly pink.
“Logan, you - you’re a complete and utter buffoon!” Roman said, entirely ignoring my suspicious glances towards the two of them.
“That boy was basically begging you to ask him out!” Roman rolled his eyes dramatically.
“Hey, I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure that that was the stupidest decision you’ve made in your whole life,” said Virgil.
“You guys are making it a lot worse than it needs to be,” I lied, straightening my tie. “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“You. Are. Losing. Him.” Roman clapped at each word.
“I thought you were meant to be the smart one,” quipped Virgil, smirking.
“Okay, okay,” I said annoyedly. “I’ll ask him out at movie night…or something. Good?”
“Now you’re getting somewhere,” Roman said with a smile, running a hand through his hair.
“But you’re not quite there yet,” added Virgil. “Do something romantic. Don’t just be like, ‘Hey, you’re cute, I’m cute, wanna bang?’”
Roman shot him a poisonous glare.
“Are you guys…a ‘thing’ now?” I asked.
“No,” they both said at once, determinedly refusing to glance at the other.
Virgil simpered. “That’s just what Roman said last ni - ”
Roman clapped a hand over Virgil’s mouth and hissed, “Don’t you dare - ”
Virgil bit down. Roman yelled and pulled away. “Cannibal!”
I raised my eyebrows and grinned. “So…help me with this love stuff, I’m kinda lost.”
“I propose sharing a blanket, maybe a popcorn bowl or something too,” said Virgil. “Then you could always try to hold his hand or something, I don’t know.”
“Say something like, ‘Hey, Patton, we’ve known each other for a long time and I’ve realized that I have feelings for you,’” Roman instructed.
“What if he rejects me?” I said, anxiety and adrenaline coursing through my veins. (Thanks, Virgil and Roman, respectively.)
“He won’t,” they say at the same time.
“How could you possibly know?” I groaned, tugging at my hair in frustration.
“We have our ways,” said Roman mischievously.
“You are blind,” Virgil informed me.
I almost laughed. “That’s what the glasses are for,” I joke.
“Dad joke. He’s rubbing off on you.”
“What’s this secret chat about?” Patton said, creeping up from behind us again.
We all shouted, or maybe it was just me.
“What movie do you want to watch, Patton?” I said loudly, trying to make up for the fact that my heart was beating faster than a caged bird.
“A Dog’s Purpose?” he suggested.
Roman groaned. “We’ve watched that four times.”
“Well, we’re not watching High School Musical again, Roman.”
Everyone seemed surprised to hear me speak. “What?” I said, embarrassed. “We haven’t watched it, and...I dunno, it...seemed fit?”
It was a few seconds before anyone spoke up.
“Brilliant,” Virgil declared.
“I’m down,” proclaimed Roman.
“Yeah, good idea!” Patton gushed.
“I’ll set up the blanket fort,” Roman said, winking at me.
“I’ll buy the movie,” Virgil offered, diving for the remote.
“I want to do something,” Patton whined, but all three of us said, “No!” at once.
On my way to the kitchen, I noticed something. I turned around. “Patton, what are you hiding behind your back?”
Patton’s eyes shifted. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?” I said suspiciously.
Patton mumbled something.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” I say, rolling my eyes, but I’m smiling. “Go ahead.”
“Yay!” he cheered, and I turned back to the kitchen.
“Good, you’ve got the popcorn,” Roman said loudly. He got out of his sloppy pillow fort and walked over to me, pretending to ‘help’ me carry the two bowls. “Listen,” he hissed. “Patton’s lying around you. He’s nervous. You are oblivious to the fact that he’s head-over-heels.”
“Are you sure he’s not…like…Deceit?” The thought hits me suddenly, and I realize that this was very probable. Once you’ve taken all the factors, calculated them, examined them, it was the only possible solution -
“He’s not. People get nervous and lie around the people they like. This is normal. Besides,” Roman added suddenly, “Deceit only tries to ruin Thomas’s life. He doesn’t care about us. Anyway, he’s messing around in his corner of Thomas’s mind, not here.”
“Okay,” I said, still a bit uncertain but more convinced than before.
“Still don’t believe me? Deceit wouldn’t be caught dead in the cat onesie.” Roman flicked his head in the direction of Patton frolicking.
“True,” I admitted reluctantly. “Okay, let’s watch the movie.”
Before everything was set up, I saw Roman whispering to Patton and pointing in the general direction of Virgil and the blanket fort. Patton was nodding and agreeing, eventually looking across the room and making eye contact with me.
“Hey, Lo, I was wondering if you could help a pal out for a quick second,” Patton said, being his goofy self.
“Uhh…sure,” I said hesitantly.
“Roman wants to get together with Virgil, but the only way he can think of doing it is getting cozy with him during movie night, which means he and Virgil will share a blanket and a bean bag. Which also means that you and I will have to share one. Is that alright with you?” He laughed. “Imagine being so nervous about asking someone out that the only way you can think of doing it is snuggling with them!”
“Right…” I said distantly. “Crazy…”
I knew exactly what Roman’s game was. Pretend to act like he was doing this for himself when in reality, he was helping me. I turned around, almost to thank him or at least make eye contact to nod at him - but then I saw him, already wrapping the blanket around himself and Virgil, and I understood immediately. This wasn’t about me and Patton, but it was a certain advantage for Roman. This was about him and Virgil.
Patton beamed at me, softly petting a place on the beanbag next to himself. I felt myself shaking from head to toe, trying so hard to be smooth but knowing how uncomfortable and awkward I looked. I not-so-gracefully flopped next to him, automatically becoming enveloped in the soft depths of the chair.
Patton was so close to me. If I moved three-quarters of a centimeter to the right, our arms would be brushing. I almost wanted to - to touch him. To reach out. To do something. But I couldn’t. Not yet. Even as Virgil put the movie on, even as Roman bickered beneath the quilt because Virgil’s feet were too cold, even as Virgil stuck his hands down Roman’s shirt to make him screech, which he did.
Almost, almost, almost. But never. Close, but so, so, so far away.
“Want a blanket?” Patton said, frightening me. He gave a half-suppressed laugh. “Calm down, you’re so on edge today.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “Yeah, I’ll take a blanket.”
“Wanna share?” he said shyly, modestly.
“Sure,” I said calmly, like it was nothing, even though, inside, it meant everything.
Patton beamed and threw the blanket around us both, the fluffy insides cradling us in a cave of polyester. His leg was touching mine.
Patton’s leg brushing mine.
Roman and Virgil are on the other beanbag, bickering as usual. I tried to overhear their argument, but it was hard to make out over the movie. All I heard was:
“...being ridiculous. Don’t accuse me of - ”
“Oh, I’m the one being ridiculous now? I specifically recall you being the one who...”
“What’re you gonna do about it - ”
“Guys,” Patton said sharply. We all turned to look at him, surprised at the finality in his tone. “Stop fighting, please? I wanna see the movie,” he whined in a gentler tone.
“Damn, okay,” Virgil said, eyebrows raised. He shifted his leg a fraction so that the beanbag shifted, and Roman involuntarily moved closer to him, apparently not noticing Virgil’s little trick.
“What was that about?” I hissed at Roman when Patton and Virgil were focused on the movie.
“You can eat salsa cold or at room temperature” - he paused to glare at Virgil. “Not heated up. Sociopath.”
I thought he was lying (as neither would’ve been that heated over heated salsa), but honestly, with those two, one could never be sure.
I took half a heartbeat to glance at Patton. The glow of the movie was reflected in his glasses' lenses, almost hiding his rich chocolate-brown eyes, but not really (thank god). He seemed pretty focused on the movie, but as soon as he caught me looking at him, he smiled.
“Hi,” I whispered back, heart in my throat.
“I like this movie,” he hummed.
We were silent for maybe a minute longer.
A breath hitched itself in my throat. “I’m fine.”
“Not falling off the beanbag or anything?”
He laughed quietly. “A little.”
Frick. “Is this…better?” I say cautiously. Then I experimentally slid my arm around him, cradling his shoulders in the crook of my elbow, in doing so, bringing him closer to me.
Patton shifted, and for a terrible moment, I thought I did something wrong. But then he pushed even closer into me, resting his head on my shoulder. “Much,” he purred. Ha. Cat onesie.
“Oh,” I said, barely audible. Patton is leaning on me. Patton is so close.
But then I remembered something - this is just how Patton is. Overly affectionate like this. He sits on Roman’s lap and plays with Virgil’s hair. He hugs and kisses and is super close to his friends.
I, as an atheist, am praying to whatever god there may be that that is not the case.
Honestly, I think this is my chance to do something. As Roman sometimes says, you’ve gotta shoot your shot. And now, I know, this is it. This is my shot. This is my time to do something.
So during a particularly romantic scene of Love, Simon, I pulled Patton a fraction of an inch closer and murmured, pride wavering, “Hey Patton?”
“Hmm?” he hummed drowsily.
“I possibly have an answer.”
“Would you maybe, um…” I drift off, then refocus myself. “I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go out sometime. Like on a date. With me.”
Patton nuzzled his head into my shoulder. “I thought you’d never ask.”
That boy is mine, that boy is miiiine.
