Summary: A series of one-shots of Loki experiencing and reacting to things on Earth that aren't on Asgard. Rating may change later on.
Read below or on AO3, Wattpad, and feel free to support me on Patreon! :)
You and Loki were taking a walk through the neighborhood. It was a nice day, a little before noon. Not too hot or cold, and there was a pleasant breeze.
As you walked you held hands. That is, until Loki spotted a man walking a chihuahua.
He pointed to it. “What in the world is that?”
You looked at the man and his dog. The man wore a peculiar hat, but you weren’t sure if that was what he alluded to.
“The hat? It’s… just a hat,” you said.
“No, no, no, not that,” he shook his head. “The animal he’s walking.”
“What? The dog?” You asked. “It’s a chihuahua.”
“Dog..?” Loki said, completely bewildered.
“Yeah, Loki, it’s a dog.”
Just then, another dog walker, this time a woman in yoga pants, came round the corner walking a pomeranian. The fluff ball’s little legs did their best to keep up with its owner’s pace.
“Are you about to tell me that’s a dog too?” Loki said sarcastically.
“Yeah, it’s a dog.”
Loki stopped walking. You nearly bumped your face into him.
“You mean to tell me… you tamed wolves… and then you bred them to look like that?”
“Um…”
“The last time I was on Earth — about a millennia ago, I saw some breeds Midgardians had come up with, but what happened? That hardly qualifies as a dog. That puts wolves to shame.”
You giggled. “Yeah, some dogs are pretty weird looking, especially the little rat dogs.”
“Rat, yes, that is an apt description.”
You and him continued walking. As you approached another house, the sound of rummaging came from a knocked over garbage can. You and Loki went to investigate what it was when the perpetrator, an opossum, made a fearful noise and disappeared into some nearby bushes. It carried something in its mouth as it scurried away.
“Please don’t tell me that was a dog,” Loki said, looking at the bush.
You laughed again. “No, not a dog. Just a possum.”
“Alright. I’ve never seen one of those before.”
“This is so funny,” you said.
The walk continued pretty uneventfully after that. Loki was still bewildered by the pets, but eventually moved on from the subject. On the way back, however, when you were nearing home, you passed another neighbor walking their dog. This time, a pug, with signature bulging eyes and loud panting as it strolled.
Loki just pointed at it and looked at you, awaiting your response.
Summary: Asgard doesn't have a lot of spicy food. Here's Loki trying food with some spice for the first time.
Read below, on AO3, or Wattpad. And you can also support me on Patreon! :)
“We’re out of popcorn,” you said, rummaging through the pantry. “We have chips and salsa though.”
It was a stormy night and you and Loki were going to cuddle up and watch a movie. You’d shown him a handful of them here during his time on Earth. Tonight, you picked one of your favorite comedy films. The last one you showed him was a dud, he watched it with a stony face the entire time so you were really hoping that this one would get some chuckles out of him.
“I haven’t tried that snack yet, but sure,” Loki replied from the couch.
“Just be careful, the salsa’s a bit spicy.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he said.
A minute later, you approached the couch with a bowl of chips and salsa and offered it to him. Loki took a tortilla chip and scooped some salsa onto it. With his mouth half-full, he spoke.
“By the gods that is spicy.” A few seconds later and the spice really kicked in. “What did you put in this?”
“I didn’t put anything in it, it came like that,” you gestured. “It’s just a jar of salsa you get from the store.”
He continued to eat more chips, his eyes watering as he did so. “This is fantastic, but…” Loki conjured some water to drink.
You laughed at Loki’s intrigue and his suffering taste buds. “I thought you said you had spicy food on Asgard.”
“We do. Often my mother would make stews for us as children that were spicy.”
“What was in those stews? Pepper?”
Loki nodded, taking another drink of water.
“Anything else?” you said.
He shook his head. “No, that was about it.”
“Oh my god, Loki, you’re so white,” you laughed. “Remind me, what kind of foods did you have on Asgard again?”
“Bread and grains, meats, fish, vegetables, fruit and nuts, and plenty of cakes.”
“Were the meats seasoned?”
Loki looked at you with offense. “Of course they were seasoned. We had the best chefs in Asgard serving us. We had diplomatic visitors from other realms who raved over the meals we served them.”
“They just weren’t spicy.”
“Apparently not.”
Despite his suffering, he took a few more chips. “This is phenomenally tasty. I had no idea food could be this spicy.”
“Oh man, Loki, I gotta take you out for some authentic spicy food some time, then. You’re gonna love it.”
With his mouth half-full again, he nodded. After swallowing his food he said, “Please do. Clearly I have been missing out.”
