i think it’s been a while since i’ve made a legit text post here archiving little details of my life (the life in my head and my exterior “irl” life).
**to more recent followers: i tag these things as “trivial drivel” and/or “personomz”
a lot has happened. a lot has been happening i guess. i haven’t really been on tumblr a whole lot and my blog now runs on a queue. i’m sort of a “full-fledged” eruri whose “assimilated” into a niche community (i put those words in quotation marks bc i lack better ones). i’ve made a lot of friends who i hope to keep in contact with for as long as this lasts. i say that because a part of me is really scared deep down inside that those friendships will only last as long as our common interests last. i’ve thought about this for a while and it’d be a huge shame if that were certainly the case bc i really love my eruri friends a lot. i guess i’ve been reflecting a lot about what makes a friendship and the general difficulties of long distance friendships. also there is no point to this post as i am just posting whatever flows into my consciousness at the moment so sorry if i lose you, or if you are already lost (or if anyone is necessarily reading this).
a lot has happened. i’ve had to deal with a lot of stress at work, a lot of bullshit, and a lot of emotional turmoil. i’ve also made friends at work even though most of them are the type of people i would never have approached otherwise (and im thankful for this) -- but at the same time it bring me to question again what makes a friendship (in this case what makes a particular friendship with specific people) if not for the common “condition” of employment. and then i end up reflecting on those who i consider my life long friends and how deeply those roots of friendship go and why makes it so easy for me and those friends to just re-connect after days, weeks, or months of no contact. it’s really nice. and it must be nice if i had that with my other friends who i feel only land on a more surface level of friendship. i think i just want my friendships to deepen if they haven’t already but i guess i don’t know how to go about that, plus if either party has the time or energy for effort. things are easy right now. because common interests and common placement is granted. i guess this is just a case of me not wanting to let go of those who i find meaningful. i wish i could interact with these people in person and more often. sometimes im just really bad at keeping in contact just strictly online or via text. who knows. maybe i’m getting ahead of myself. who knows.
a lot has happened.